


No Escape

by traswxyz



Series: Escape [2]
Category: Grand Theft Auto V
Genre: Character Death, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Hey I did it, I don't know what else to tag, Kidnapping, Look at me I'm at part 2, Rape, Romance, Ron vs Lily, Torture, Trigger Warnings, dream - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-12
Updated: 2019-10-12
Packaged: 2019-11-15 22:06:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 21
Words: 91,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18081800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/traswxyz/pseuds/traswxyz
Summary: This is part two of the Escape Series. Lily is back with Trevor, Michael and Franklin. She has shown that she is more than capable at handling herself. I plan on adding a lot more romance and some other stuff in this.





	1. Showing Off More Skills

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I am back after a week or 2 of not posting or something like that. I need to know if you want more Ron vs Lily. If you think it's run dry, I gotchu, but if you want more, lemme know. It might take me longer to get these chapters out as I have a huge course load. But I will try to at least post once a month or every two weeks. Le Goals.  
> Let me know what you all think! <3

Opening my eyes, I found myself in Trevor’s apartment, laying on the futon. I sat up slowly. I turned my head towards the bedroom. It looked like no one was home. Standing up, I heard quiet voices outside. I ran outside, busting through the door and looking to my left. I was greeted with the sight of a barbeque and everyone I had met around it. Michael and Franklin tending to the meat. Amanda and her children hanging out on some beach chairs, with Wade and Floyd chatting with Ron nearby. Trevor came out of nowhere, saying my name,

“Lily.” A smile formed on his face as he wrapped on arm around my waist, pulling me towards everyone.

* * *

Sudden yelling made my eyes shoot open. Looking around, I wasn’t in Trevor’s trailer or my own home, rather a car. There was an ache on my side from laying on the seat belt receiver. It became clear that I couldn’t move my hands and that they were behind my back. Slowly sitting up, I tried to listen to the yelling. It was incomprehensible, all gibberish. I quickly moved my hands under my legs and feet, bringing them in front of me.  _ Are you for real? _ I was pretty sure the last thing I remembered was an FIB agent capturing me, and for some reason, don’t ask me why, but I was pretty sure they would have double lock handcuffs. Those, you would need a lock pick for, which I don’t have, but tightly around my wrists were zip ties, the easiest things to take off. Sighing, I turned my hands around to look a them. They were black, definitely heavy duty, pulled as tightly as they could be. Moving the main knot to directly between my hands, I raised them above my head and practically slamming them down towards my stomach, breaking the zip tie in half. I rubbed my wrists, and then carefully looked behind me. Directly behind the vehicle were three figures, their backs towards me. Two were incredibly tall, and thin. The third one had a bit of weight on him. Looking at them closely, I realized it was Haines, Norton and, who I have to guess to be, Weston. Looking around some more, I saw Trevor, Franklin and Michael in the distance. I couldn’t see their facial expressions too clearly but it was pretty obvious they were angry.

In a flash all six pulled out their guns. A small piece of me panicked and quickly moved to the driver’s seat. As I was attempting to pull down the steering wheel column, something shiny caught my eye from the car door. A gun, so small like a beretta nano. Grabbing it, and quickly looking backwards, the standoff was still on. The yelling growing louder. I pulled down the compartment, quickly finding the bundle of wires with the starter. Looking back again, I felt more panic as I turned back. Pulling out the battery and ignition wires, I found I had nothing to pull back the covering. Opening up the center console, a small pocket knife shined at the bottom. Grabbing it quickly, I returned my attention back to the bundle.   _ Hopefully I don’t get electrocuted.  _ I quickly stripped part of the wires and put them together. A spark, and the radio in the middle of the console turned on. Quickly cutting a piece of the leather seat, I placed it over the wires, twisting them together. I grabbed and stripped the starter wire. With the connection of the three, the engine came to life. I revved the engine twice, before quickly placing it in reverse. Looking back, the three men closest to me, now stood looking at the vehicle curiously. I stepped on the gas, flying backwards into one of the men and slamming on the breaks. I heard a loud thud and quickly put it in park. Keeping low, I quickly opened the door, pulled the gun, aimed and fired at the man who stood closer to me. The bullet went through the man’s leg, and he cried out in pain, falling to the ground with a hard thud. I stood up slowly, gun ready, when I heard a cock behind my head. Dave spoke,

“Now let’s just take this nice and easy.” 

“Sure.” I dropped the gun, and turned around. Quickly grabbing the man’s wrists, I aimed the gun downward, pulling him down. As he lost balance and fell forward, I rammed my knee in his chin. He fell back, then onto his knees, as I grabbed the top of the door and slammed it into his face, causing him to fall. I took the gun from his hands and the one I dropped, then carefully moved around the car. Stepping around, I looked for the guy I backed into, only to find him out cold at the back bumper. As I carefully took his gun, the man screaming in pain, began to direct his words at me.

“You stupid fucking bitch! You shot me!”

“Wow, good job captain obvious. Now give me your gun, or I’ll shoot your other leg.”

“I have a marathon to run!”

“Welp, looks like two legs are going to be out of business then.” I cocked the gun, and with fear in his eyes, he threw his gun, dragging to a stop in front of me. 

“Thank you.” I stepped on the gun gently. Footsteps stopped beside me. Turning my head I saw the other three standing next to me, Trevor and Michael clearly out of breath.

“Holy… fuck…” Michael tried to control his breathing to speak more, but instead he had a coughing fit. 

“Oh man, you need to work out more.” Trevor joked, breathing heavily. 

“Shut the fuck up.” Michael said gaining composure. 

“Goddamn, Lester wasn’t kiddin’ about your credentials. But what about these fools now?” Franklin motioned to the three injured men; two out cold and one now groaning in pain. I shrugged my shoulders. Haines and Norton still looked the same, it had been a while since we had last seen each other. Weston, though, I had heard his name pop up from time to time, and he looked exactly like I pictured him; a complete asshole.

“That’s your call. Also, congratulations, you’re the lucky winner of three guns.” I walked to Franklin and dropped all of the guns into his hands, one falling to the ground. 

“We could smoke them.” Trevor suggested. Michael shook his head,

“No… we’ll be in more trouble if we do that. Frank and I will deal with this. Trevor, take Lily back to your trailer. We’ll meet you there.” 

“Sounds like a plan.” Trevor agreed as he motioned with his head for me to follow. “We came here to rescue you and yet here you are, kicking ass on your own.” I laughed as we walked towards the vehicle.

As we drove off in Trevor’s truck, I felt a large hand grasp mine tightly. Looking at Trevor, I could tell his whole body was trembling.  _ Was he anxious about what happened? _ As he stopped in front of the trailer, he gave my hand a quick squeeze before both of us getting out. He held the door open for me, which was odd… to say the least. I was on edge the whole time, unsure what was going to happen. As soon as I was in the middle of the kitchen, he slammed the door, turning towards me with tears in his eyes, yelling,

“What. The. Fuck were you thinking?!” Confused I yelled back,

“About what?”  _ Leaving? Knocking out two guys and only shooting on in the leg? _

“About fucking leaving! I gave you a goddamn choice!” The confusion became overtaken by anger.

“I understand you gave me a choice, but I couldn’t take it! You took me from my home! What else was I supposed to do?! Just agree?! I told you I needed to see things for myself! I couldn’t just sit back and wait for the rest of my life run off without and me not know! I can’t just sit back and be a “good hostage”, a “good prisoner” just because you want piece of mind! How do I know, you weren’t just going to lie to me so that you could keep me here?! I barely know you and the things I do know are mostly negative!”

“Then you could have gotten to know me!”

“Why?! You’re the one who kidnapped me! How does that make any sense? The first time we met, I watched you murder a man in cold blood and you held a gun up to my head! I don’t know the reason for it, for all I know he could have cut you off in traffic or looked at you the wrong way but I don’t think the reason matters! Don’t you hear how any of this sounds? And if I did  _ try _ to get to know you then wouldn’t that feel like you were being manipulated? Like I’m being manipulated? What kind of person do you take me for?” My voice cracked near the end and tears began to form in my eyes. The man who Trevor had shot in the head flashed quickly in my mind. Focusing back at Trevor, his hands were still in clenched fists, face full of different emotions as if he was going to crumble at any moment. His whole body was shaking terribly as he tried to stop raising his voice,

“I’m just saying, you could have asked.” He groaned, and covered his face with his hands. “I’m just… just… I know you’re smart. You’re… you’re not like other women… you don’t hurt me, manipulate my feelings or-or-or anything like that.” Tears begin to trickle down his face. “I-I-I’ve never felt like this about anyone… I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to feel, to act, or-or-or what to say. Everything I do seems to be mistake, a-a-and I can’t seem to get myself out of this continuous hole of failing to do anything you like or want.” He fell onto his knees, and began to wail. I wasn’t expecting him to just flip out. “I just want to be with you! I want to be happy! I know what I’ve done is wrong and I can’t go back! But I want another chance! I want to restart all of this!” He continued to look at me with wide eyes, tears streaming down his face, “Please.” He whimpered. “Please, please, please, please, give me another chance!” He began to slam his hands into the floor, the sound booming and shaking the entire trailer. “Idiot, idiot, idiot! I can’t do anything right!” He began to slam his head against the floor.

I stood shocked, wide-eyed and unsure how to act. Sounds stuttered out of my mouth but none would form into words. I looked around, wishing someone else was here to deal with the situation. I looked back at Trevor. I kept thinking back to the dreams I had been having, how in everything single one, I was with him or running to him. I don’t know what kind of sign that was or if he was just messing with me head. I also didn’t know how to feel about any of it either. What was our relationship now? What will happen from here on out? Why do I keep having dreams of somebody who I  _ think _ I feel neutral or should have negative feelings towards? My actions from here on out were the only things that were going to define our relationship. I didn’t want to make the wrong choice, and me regret it later, but at the same time; sometimes you just have to go with what you think is right or what you want.

I quickly walked towards Trevor, his forehead pressed hard against the floor of the trailer, and set myself down in front of him, gently placing my knees on the floor. 

“Trevor.” Trevor didn’t move. “Trevor!” Trevor sniffled, and slowly picked up his head. Tears streaked his entire face, his eyes were already puffy almost as if he had been crying for days, and his forehead bore a dark red mark. 

“Listen to me Trevor.” His eyes, dull, looked at me. “I want to make this very clear. I am beyond confused right now. I have no idea what to feel, what to say or how to make anything better at this point. The question I’ve been continuously asking myself is; what are we? I am here willingly, but I have no idea what that makes us, or how that changes our relationship. A piece of me is such a weak person and wants to give in, say let’s start over and be with you. But a larger piece, my instincts, my moral values, my heart, my mind, everything is telling me, that… that wouldn’t be okay. That it wouldn’t work. We are very different people. You live a free and dangerous life that you made yourself, and I’ve constructed mine out of experience and the time I spent trying to find myself, a purpose. You are a drug addict through the core, an alcoholic and a whole bunch of other not so great things. I’m  _ none _ of those things. You seem like the type of person who wants to be free, stay free, not be tied down by someone who is the complete opposite in thinking. Think about it. Could you stand the idea of not doing most of those things anymore? Those are so destructive towards yourself that... I don’t think I’d want to be with a person who’s slowly killing themselves or putting themselves into dangerous situations that would get themselves killed. That’s essentially just letting me watch someone I love die. I don’t want you to change yourself so that you can make me happy while dragging yourself down in the process. If someone wants to change, it should be for themself. A relationship isn’t about changing someone to mirror someone like yourself or to put under your control so that you have some type of control in your life either; it’s about coming together as a team, working towards the problems together, and jumping over hurdles that one person wouldn’t normally be able to make on their own. It’s two people versus a problem, not two people versus each other. I want you to be happy too, even if it means that we can’t be together, because I don’t want to take anything away from you and I don’t want you to take anything from me.” Near the end of it, I couldn’t hold in my tears, and they began to trickle down my face. “If… If I want to be with someone, I want to be with that person to the end. I… I can’t stand to lose someone to something that is preventable or can be helped. What I want and what you want are two very different things.” Silence set on between us. After what seemed like an eternity, Trevor spoke in a low, raspy voice.

“I… I think… I think maybe we should just go into it head first.”  _ Huh?  _ “Who cares if this relationship is destined for failure? If the inevitable is, that one of us will die or leave; let’s just focus on the two of us now, in the moment. Sometimes the best thing to do, is to go in as if inevitability doesn’t exist and set the stones down ourselves of how our relationship should be defined and what we should do, as we go. Why let inevitability define who we love, who we can be and share experiences with?” He took of my hands into his own. “Let’s just take this leap of faith in each other, and figure things out as we go.I want to be with you, and even if those feelings aren’t the same in a few years, I want to experience the love that you would give to another person. I live in the now, maybe you should try too.” Everything about his face, his body were just pleading me to say something, make a decision in his favor. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath. I knew from the start there were going to be so many difficulties and hurdles to go over. Trevor had a lot of baggage that would be difficult to shed and carry. I felt large hands on my face, thumbs rubbing my cheeks and Trevor’s voice ringing through my ears,

“Don’t think about, it’s either yes or no. Whatever comes by instinct alone.” Opening my eyes, his face was close to mine, our foreheads pressed up against each others.  _ Instinct…. Instinct.  _ A gut feeling alone pushed my mind to an answer.

**_“Yes.”_ **


	2. A Long Conversation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lily and the others talk to Steve and Dave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry this one is short- the original chapter was about... 11(?) pages long and was informed that might be too long so I have separated those pages into a couple of chapters. I'll posting on here, getting ahead of writing that way I'm not gone for too long and you guys aren't reading over 6000 words and getting bored or feeling like it's too scattered.  
> Anyways! Let me know what you guys think and I promise one piece of Ron vs Lily is coming soon! <3

Trevor retracted his hands from my face, his eyes were wide, mouth agape in shock and confusion. Before I could ask what was wrong, a group of voices could be heard from outside. We stood up quickly, separating from one another, wiping our faces trying to look natural as the group walked in. Dave, and Steve walked in first. Steve looked like he was going to keel over, clutching his stomach, with patches of dry blood on his face and clothes. Dave had a black eye, broken lip and a huge mark on his face. Behind followed the uninjured Michael and Franklin, who both looked at Trevor’s puffy eyed face as they walked in. Dave and Steve sat down, both groaning as they did so. I stood closest to the sink, in their line of sight but hoping they were in too much to pain to actually care I was there. I noticed Michael and Trevor standing closely together, whispering to one another as Franklin stood next to me. Dave groaning asked,

“What are your terms?” _Terms?_ I looked between Michael and Franklin who looked at each other and Trevor.

“Well for one you can get the fuck off our backs.” Franklin stated harshly.

“Sorry but we got things to do ladies. We need you guys to do all the dirty work so that way we don’t have terrorism running rampant in the country.” Steve stated, some words were high pitched as if stings of pain ran through his body as he spoke.

“Yeah, but I feel like you’re just using us. And you owe us for using Lily.” Trevor angrily said.

“Well we aren’t the ones wanted for kidnapping. Also we did as you asked, and let you keep her without any problems and here you are giving us problems.” Dave argued.

“That was before you wanted to negotiate over her. You didn’t want to give her back, you wanted her to be a bargaining piece to control us more. I thought you knew her credentials. How did you get overtaken so easily by one person?” Michael spoke up, looking at me with concern in his eyes. I had guessed that they were negotiating over terms of what would happen to me and who I was going to be given back to, it was just odd to hear it being said out loud.

“We need you guys to do more things for us so that we can stop toxic gas attacks, terrorism against the country and fight against corrupt sections of the government. We need you guys to do it because all of you have somewhat unsavory pasts that we can wipe clean if you just do as we say.” Dave shot back.

“By having us kidnap and torture people? Destroy entire buildings and the such?” Trevor questioned.

“Oh shut the fuck up. You were the one doing the torturing and if I’m correct you do that on a daily basis. You kidnapped a woman and kept her here for almost a full fucking year. And don’t you blow up buildings on the daily? How the fuck is this any different from what you do normally?” Steve yelled. At this point, Dave and Steve had stood up and looked ready to exchange blows with the other three.

“Well I don’t have some fucking corrupt section of the government telling me what to do on the daily. I’m my own boss, so how about you shut the fuck up about everything.” Trevor hissed.

“Sorry gentlemen,” Steve said. Dave grabbed my arm, gun up and holding me in place. “But we are the ones in control of this negotiation.”

“Let me go or I’ll break your nose.” I said coldly. Dave scoffed,

“Yeah I don’t think so.” I slammed my head back into his face, grabbed his arm and wrist with the gun, lifting him up, rolling him on my hip and throwing him onto his back. I took the gun and aimed in at Steve as Dave groaned in pain. I placed my foot on Dave’s throat, at first gently, then increasing pressure. His face was covered in blood. Steve with his hands up looked shocked and said,

“Fine, fine, fine! What are you terms?”

_Damn, I have to do everything around here._

* * *

 

We all watched on the porch as Steve and Dave drove off, leaving in more pain than when they came in. The negotiations took forever. For one they couldn’t do anything about me, in fact we argued for me to be employed by them so that I could at least do something. They agreed but unfortunately I work directly under them. Also due to my background, I, with Lester, was supposed to help the others with anything else they needed. Steve was continuously mentioned how nice it would be to have a _“beautiful”_ secretary in his office for once. I had a look of disgust on my face, as Trevor glared at him, grabbing him back a collar.

“How about you start treating her like a fucking human being and not some god damn sex object?” Steve just simply blew him off.

“Oh come on, how have never of you made a move on her? She’s a gorgeous, sex-” Steve was cut off by Trevor slamming his fist into Steve’s face, letting him go and Steve falling onto the floor. He clutched his face and glared up at Trevor.

“I’ll fuckin’ deck you again if you even make eyes at her. Do you fucking understand me?” Trevor spit at him.

“Alright, alright. Calm the fuck down. After we do this thing, you’re supposed to let us go. We aren’t going to deal with any more of your shit. Also you are to treat her with respect or I’ll come down there myself.” Michael stood strong as he looked down, glaring at Steve.

“And you have to let Brad go! He’s stuck in a fuckin’ cell, while we’re out here dealing with this shit alone.” _Brad? Who the fuck is Brad?_

“And get Devin Weston off my fuckin’ back. Until he pays, I ain’t doing jack-shit.” Franklin joined in. Dave and Steve looked at each other. Trying to stay profession, they both slowly stood up, bones popping every so often. Dave spoke,

“We’ll see what we can do. As for the job, we have the perfect thing, coming in as a secretary is actually the perfect cover that we can give her. It’ll work out in the end, but we’ll need her on some of the other things we need you to do.” As they attempted to walk out the first time, Trevor grabbed Steve, pulling their faces closer, Steve trying to look calm.

“If you even suggest anything to her, touch her, lay a single finger on her or anyone touches her, I will break every fucking bone in your body. Do you understand me?” Steve pushed him away, straightened his clothes and said,

“Sometimes you have to do things to get done in a job. You back out on us, and I won’t hesitate for her to get fucked in every hole she has by everyone I fucking know; and I’ll make you watch.” The way that he said it, and made a quick glance towards me, sent shivers down my spine. He was quite serious when he said it, I would just hope that it wouldn’t come to that. I felt a hand on my shoulder and heard Michael’s voice,

“Don’t worry kid. We aren’t going to let anything happen to you. Those motherfuckers lay a hand on you, and we’ll raise hell.” I felt some comfort in Michael saying that. I only responded by laying my hand on top of his, squeezing it gently.

“Fuck that guy. We should just fuckin’ get rid of those motherfuckers.” Franklin said standing close beside me.

“I wish we could, but…” I could feel Michael’s on me as he spoke, “I don’t want to risk anyone getting hurt because of these guys.”

“It’s just one more thing right?” I whispered. This whole situation was fucked and it was making me nervous. Trevor could change his mind at any moment, in fact it already seemed like he did early. He could just think that I wasn’t worth the trouble and that the freedom that he would lose was more important than me getting assaulted. I didn’t want to look at his face, to see if I could see him slowly changing his mind on what we both said.

“Alright, let’s get you something to eat, you haven’t eaten anything in the last couple days right?” Michael suggested. I turned towards him and asked.

“What did you have in mind?”

_Hopefully I can eat in peace._

* * *

 

“Why are we back here?”

“Because Lily likes milkshakes, they make her feel better.” Trevor groaned in agony as we sat in the diner’s booth. I excitedly waited for our milkshakes and food to appear. When we had first arrived, Michael scolded me for only wanted to drink a milkshake, having to seriously convince me to eat _real food_. Franklin had decided that he needed to check on things back home, so he left early. Trevor sat across from me, as Michael had intercepted him and took a seat next to me. It had made me laugh at the frustration on Trevor’s face when he realized that Michael wasn’t going to move. Trevor continued to grumble as he looked out the window. I turned towards Michael.

“Hey Michael, can you let me out? I need to use the restroom.” Michael quickly moved out of the booth.

“Of course, take your time.” I moved past them and towards the restrooms. As I was washing my hands, I looked at myself at the shattered mirror on the wall. My hair was longer than ever, I looked tired as hell, and had a few scrapes on my face from when Trevor tackled me. I took a deep breath, exiting the bathroom and heard Trevor and Michael’s voice.

“I’m just saying, that we need to find her a safe place to lie low.” Trevor seemed to have an argumentative tone. Michael’s soon followed, but attempting to sound optimistic

“We could leave her with Lester, he’s pretty safe.”

“And a fucking pervert. No.”

“Well, we can’t leave her with anyone else. No one else is safe enough and they’ve known where your trailer was the whole time anyways.”

“What about Ron?” My eye twitched. _Don’t you even think about leaving me with that bastard._

“So that they could fight and we rescue him from the bathroom again? No.” _Michael understands me._

“Well then what do you suggest we do? Because there is no way in fuck am I letting that motherfucker even near her.” I could hear Trevor grit his teeth.

“Did you not see what she did to them? She can handle herself and no matter what, we’re going to have her back. I’ll have Lester watch her 24/7 to ensure her safety. What the fuck is your problem anyway? I knew you were possessive about her, but you seem a bit off today.” I could hear Trevor take a deep breath.

“She… she said she was okay with being in a relationship… with me. I’m… I’m just so scared of fucking things up. I only have the one chance, what if I blow it?” Michael sighed.

“Well… just think before you act. You have a habit of not doing that.”

“You don’t think I have been!? I had no idea what to say. I told her to live in the moment and now I’m so worried, I can’t. I just… I just want to hold her hand. When ever I see her, I don’t feel the same want that I do with other women. With other women, I know what I want and what they want. With her, I have no fucking clue. She… she’s so difficult to read, but when I look at her… I keep thinking to myself how nice it is to just have her in the vicinity, to hold her hand, or to just talk to her. My heart feels like it’ll stop every time she laughs or smiles. I… I don’t know what to do or how to act. I’m terrified that I’ll say one thing and shatter it all.” My heart was thudding in my chest so loudly that it was almost deafening, making his words seem quieter than what they actually were.

“Ohhh man. You fell hard. Like a rock. You are fucked! Holy crap, I mean I fell hard for my wife, but damn you fell harder than a brick for Lily. Didn’t think you’d ever find the one, but damn, you may have.” Michael’s sarcasm made me laugh.

“Shut the fuck up. You don’t know how I feel.” Trevor pouted. I came from around the quickly, smiling as Michael let me sit back in my original seat. The waitress came by, setting down three milkshakes and meals before briskly walking away. Grabbing the milkshake, I began to suck it down quickly.

“Hey! You haven’t even started eating yet!” Michael protested, pushing a plate of food I front of me. I didn’t actually remember what Michael had ordered from me, but looking down, I quickly let go of my milkshake, to start showing down on the pancakes that were in front of me.

**_P A N C A K E S._ **


	3. Driving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a bunch of driving between Lily, Michael and Trevor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I'm going to try and post every Monday! If I can! Life hit me real hard in the face so it'll take me a little bit to get on this schedule but, I'm mentally prepared.  
> Please let me know what you guys think of this chapter!

I woke up to the sound of someone calling my name. Opening my eyes, I saw Trevor hovering over me. The look in his eyes made my heart race; it was gentle, warm, and engulfed me in something that I didn’t Trevor was even capable of expressing. I felt his lips gently touch mine.

 

I was startled awake as Trevor cussed Michael out.

“You stupid fucker, the exit was right there.”

“Sorry, I’m getting _old_.”

“Damn right you’re getting old but I fuckin’ told you where the exit was going to be.”

“Well maybe if you weren’t yelling at me, I wouldn’t missed it.”

“Motherfucker you missed that shit on purpose. Here’s another- god damn it Michael! It was right fucking there! You son of a bitch!”

“Sorry, you said that way too late.”

“You sped up before I could finish my sentence! AAAGGGHH!” I slowly sat up, and looked outside. We were on the highway, speeding towards a tunnel.

“Where… Where are we?” I asked.

“We’re almost to Paleto Bay at this fucking speed because Michael keeps speeding past the exits.” Trevor practically spit at Michael’s name.

“Sorry, my age is catching up to me. An old man like me needs at least a few more minutes in advance.” The sarcasm in Michael’s voice made me want to laugh, but the frustration in Trevor’s face kept me from doing so. His brows were furrowed, his entire face distorted in anger. I shifted in my seat as Trevor gripped the bottom of the seat tightly. As I was sitting in the middle of the vehicle, I had a decent view of what was in front of me. Other cars being passed as Michael sped down the highway and places I hadn’t seen before. I looked around excitedly as Trevor slammed his seat backwards, laying down, making eye contact with him.

“You seem like the type of person to like the scenic route.” Trevor softly said to me, almost in a question. With a smile remaining on my face, I replied,

“I’d say that’s true. I like traveling, seeing things pass by quickly and how places differ for only being a couple miles or hours away from each other.” Trevor turned away, looking towards the dashboard, and muttered something that I didn’t quite catch. I turned my attention away from him and continued to look around. We were driving pretty smoothly until we came to a red light. I leaned back, put my seat belt on and relaxed, waiting for the light to turn.

“Why’d you put your seat belt on?” Trevor questioned.

“Because most accidents happen at a red light.” I got confused looks from Michael and Trevor as they said in unison;  _huh?_ before there was a sudden violent push forward. Trevor who was still laying down merely lifted up and was slammed back down while Michael got thrown hard into the steering wheel, honking the horn. We all looked back to see a black Pegassi had slammed into us. We quickly exited the vehicle as the owner was exiting hers. The owner was a woman in a pants-suit, solid blue, a white undershirt underneath, black heels, glasses and a bob cut. I sighed. I could tell she was going to be a pain.

“Oh hey, Molly. Thanks for smashing up the car.” Michael’s voice made me jump. The fact that they knew her was kind of weird. _Were they friends or something? His tone sounds less than enthusiastic so it was hard to tell._

“Mr. Philips, Mr. De Santa. I imagine that was due to your reckless driving.” _Oh so she knows both of them._ The way she said their names was odd. _Wait… Philips? Had I never heard his last name before?_

“Reckless driving? We were stopped at a red light.” Michael stated, his tone get increasingly irritated. _I have never heard his last name before! What the hell?_ I could hear Trevor walk around the vehicle, closer to me and Michael.

“You were speeding throughout the north part of San Andreas, I was sure that you would just run through this light as well.” Her tone was cold, monotone. _Have I not been paying attention???_

“We were at a red light in a town. Who the fuck doesn’t stop?” Trevor questioned, irritation and anger seeping out. _Trevor Philips. That’s his full fucking name. Why haven’t I heard it at all? Not even Ron has said it._

“I just assumed you wouldn’t with the number of traffic violations attached to both of your names.” _Fucking Ron. Bastard never tells me anything. You’d think I would have heard his full name or the name of his stupid company by now because_ **_Ron_ ** _preaches everything but no. Fucking bastard was holding out on me._

“Okay, sure, but what about yours? You just smacked right into us.” Michael argued. _I’m going to give that fucker a piece of my mind. He preaches about everything but this, holds out on me on_ **_this._ **

**“** I have a perfect driving record.” Molly stated clearly. Her tone was getting on my nerves. It was calm but it was if her tone was also silently accusing that it was their fault, she rear-ended them.

“Until now?” Trevor asked. _He was strangely calm over this whole thing. Maybe it’s because she’s female._

“No. I still have a perfect driving record.”

“What kind of logic is that? You rear-ended a car at a red light. That doesn’t exactly say perfect driving record.” I stated, my tone just as monotone and cold. _Police-officer voice time._

“No, it was clearly you guys in the wrong. Anyone else would have rear-ended you by watching you drive, thinking you would run through the red light.”

“Sure, you could say that but you can’t assume what any driver is going to do or what they’re thinking. You can’t read minds. Also, doesn’t that mean you were also going to run through the red light? Most people slow down within 100 feet of a red light or stop sign because you know it’s coming up. And if there are cars ahead, it’s within a 100 feet of that car, because there should be at least 1-2 car lengths between you and the next driver. We are going to safely assume you were also driving recklessly in hopes that we would run the red light, you would run the red light and there would be no problem. But my question is how long have you been following us?” Molly stopped like a deer in headlights. Her face remained calm, but she was beginning to pale.

“I am merely doing my work, we just happen to be going in the same direction.”

“If that’s true, then why would it matter how many traffic violations they have currently? Why bring that up? Also from the way you’re talking, you already knew who was in the car in front of you. Not to mention the speed you were going to continue to drive at. If you were slowing down and didn’t slow down enough, neither of them would have hit the steering wheel or the back of the seat that hard from the momentum, It would have gently pushed both of them forward and back. It almost seems like you sped up at the last possible moment to make the biggest dent.” Looking at her, she was starting to shake. Her face was slowly distorting as if she realized that she was in the wrong.

“Well, coming straight off the highway, I was going at a somewhat unsafe speed to slow down… safely.”

“There’s a red light just a little bit down from this one. You would have slowed down for that one too, there’s no way you would have been going the same speed you were ramming into us if you hadn’t sped up.” My fists were clenched as I stood just a few meters away from the taller woman. She was clearly losing her cool, impatience and irritation in her tone.

“Well, maybe I was going a little too fast to stop safely at the first one, _Ms. Phillips._ ” I glared at her.

_Great. Now they know my last name too._

* * *

 

“Phillips?” Michael and Trevor asked in unison.

“I know everything I need to know about you. A college dropout who went back. 5 years of police work and firefighter work. Mechanic, computer technician, a decent shooter, medical background, marathon runner; I know the whole list. I’d like to inform you right now that your actions towards Mr. Weston have peaked his interest. We will be in contact soon about employment for you.” Before I could reply or argue, Trevor yelled,

“Oh, that motherfucker can stay the fuck away from her and us.”

“This no longer has anything to do with you _Mr._ Philips. So I’ll ask for you to take a step back.” Another Pegassi pulled up, before she stepped in, we made eye contact.

“Maybe you’ll be smarter than the three and know that the employment will open more opportunities for you.” She fully stepped in, closed the door behind her and sped off. I could hear Trevor on the phone and Michael approach me.

“You okay kid?” He placed a hand gently on my shoulder.

“Who was that?” I asked, looked up at him.

“That was Devin Weston’s assistant or whatever the fuck. Molly Schultz.”

“Charming woman.”

“I wouldn’t go as far as to say that.”

“Hey! Ron’s coming to pick us up!” Trevor called out. I groaned internally. A thought popped into my mind as I turned on one heel quickly towards him and shouted,

“I get shotgun!” I looked between Michael and Trevor who looked equally confused.

“Okay?” Michael replied.

_Front seat. Front seat. Front seat. Front seat._

* * *

 

As Ron pulled up, the disgust on his and my face became apparent. Oh, there were going to be some words. I quickly went up to the passenger side, and opened the door. I had to step up as his truck was actually a little high off the ground.

“Hey! Trevor sits in front.” Ron shouted at me.

“I called shotgun, so I get the front!”

“It doesn’t matter! Trevor always gets front!”

“Today I get front!”

“Both of you are like fucking children! Let her sit up front!” Trevor’s commanding voice silenced Ron as I continued to hop up and strapped myself in. I could practically hear Trevor and Michael roll their eyes as Ron groaned and started driving. After a few minutes of silence, I turned towards Ron,

“Hey, out of all of the stupid shit that you preach, how come I’ve never heard Trevor’s last name until today?” Ron looked a bit taken back and replied,

“What’s it matter?”

“It matters. I’ve been stuck with you for over a year, and I never heard his full name, or yours. So, tell me your last name.” Ron’s face contorted in confusion and disgust.

“I don’t think it matters.”

“Ahh, so you have a funny last name? That sucks.”

“Wha- no, it’s a normal last name. I just don’t want to share it with you.”

“Sure, sure…”

“What? There’s nothing wrong with me not giving you my last name.”

“Do you know my last name?”

“No.”

“Sharing time.” I could tell Ron was fuming. “Sharing is caring, Ron.”

“I don’t want to share and I don’t care.”

“For someone who doesn’t care, you sure are holding out.” Ron looked hesitant to speak.

“You’re right it is something stupid. It’s Jakowski.” Trevor butted in. I turned towards him as Ron yelled,

“Trevor! She didn’t need to know! She could be a government lizard person!”

“You calling my girlfriend a lizard person?” Ron let out a high pitched and confused squeak as he attempted to speak,

“Well no, of course not! But how do we know we can trust her? She locked me in the bathroom!” It was my turn to speak,

“You handcuffed me to a chair! I simply did the same but technically in an entire room.”

“I was stuck in there for six hours!”

“Self-care time.”

As we continued to argue, Trevor barked,

“Ron stop the fucking car! Pull over!” Ron quickly complied, gently stopped on the side of the road.

“Mikey, you’re driving.” Michael and Trevor exited the vehicles quickly, opening Ron’s and my door at the same time. Unbuckling my seat belt, Trevor quickly picked me up and carried me to the backseat.

“But I called shotgun.” I whispered. As he set me down, he replied,

“Well you can blame Ron for ruining for it for you.” He laid a soft kiss on my forehead and closed my door. Ron who had already entered was glaring at me.

“This is your fault.” He accused.

“If you would have told me there would be no problem!” I shot back.

“Let me ask you a question!” Trevor barked from the front. We both turned our attention to him. “Why didn’t you tell us _your_ last name, Lily?”

“You kidnapped me remember? For all I know, you would have looked me up earlier and then I wouldn’t have been able to see what I needed to see. But by the looks of everything, it seems like someone already did.” The words came out confident, calm. It seemed to be the right answer as Michael and Trevor said nothing.

“What’s her last name?” Ron questioned. Without hesitation, I replied,

“Phillips.” Ron’s eyes grew wide and looked between Trevor and I.

“It’s like, we’re already married.” Trevor sighed and reclined back into the seat I rolled my eyes.

“Hope they’re spelled differently.” I commented. As we continued the conversation, Ron sat quietly back, still stunned at the coincidence.

_Jakowski… what an interesting name._

* * *

 

Ron and I sat silent and motionless in the trailer, waiting for Trevor and Michael to finish talking about “private” stuff.

“How does Trevor spell his last name?” Ron jumped a little at the sound of my voice. He looked at the front door and then me, before replying,

“Philips. How else do you spell Philips?”

“One ‘L’ or two ‘L’s?” Ron looked down, looked a bit confused before hesitantly saying,

“One.” I breathed a sigh of relief. If our names had been spelled the same, I could only think of how much more annoying that would be.

“How many do you spell yours with?” I held up two fingers. Ron nodded, and we fell back into silence. Trevor busted in, yelling,

“Okay! Now it’s time for a chat between the three of us.” _Don’t think the three of us actually have something to talk about but sure, whatever._ “Let’s start with, you both act like fucking children around each other.” Ron and I quickly glared at each other, as if silently accusing one another. “Exactly, you both immediately go at each other. So we’re going to remedy that! I want you two to get along, so what we’re going to do is get out all of our problems right here and now. So STARTING with Ron.” He pointed towards Ron, who was silent for a short while, before speaking somewhat slowly,

“My problem with Lily is that… she… takes all of your attention. I don’t understand the reasoning behind keeping her here. She doesn’t contribute to the business and I feel like she will just hinder it more. Also she just causes trouble when she’s here.” _Wow, fuck you too!_ Trevor nodded, a somewhat angry look on his face, turned to me and said,

“And now Lily.” I took a faint pause to find the words before speaking,

“My problem with Ron is he causes problems and insults me every chance he gets. He refuses to make any changes or get along. When you aren’t here, he thinks he can control me and demeans me because he thinks that will make me listen. He is usually the one to start the pranks and cause trouble. He-”

“She made me think that she ran away!” I turned towards him quickly.

“You put bowls of water and flour, maybe cornstarch, everywhere; saying that it was because of an experiment! Then you made a HUGE mess!”

“You threw stuff too!”

“You started it!”

“SHUT UP!” Trevor roared. “Ron, what the fuck are you doing wasting her ingredients? And you.” He turned towards me, his demeanor had changed. “Is that how you tested our response time?” I swallowed hard. _Come to think of it, I didn’t quite see it that way._

“No. It was just to mess with Ron for being a jerk.” It was hard to keep a straight face when Trevor was around. He could probably make anyone want to cry. He nodded and took a step back.

“I’ll believe you, but don’t make me think otherwise. Ron, stand up.” Ron looked at me and then back at Trevor, he stood up, only for Trevor to deck him hard. Ron fell backwards, crumbling to the ground, clutching his nose. I stood up quickly and made my way to the TV, continuing to face Trevor the whole time. _Is this what he meant by teaching us a lesson?_ I could feel myself begin to tremble.

“You think it’s fun being mean and rude to someone who cooks your food and always makes you coffee?” _Okay I didn’t expect that._ “You think it’s fun to disrespect women?”

“No T-”

“I don’t give a fuck about what you’re going to say! Get the fuck out of here!” Ron quickly scrambled to his feet, tripping as he attempted to run out. After he left, I realized how hard I was clutching the window frame and wall. I felt like he was going to punch me, as he turned and started walking towards me. My hands started to find their way to the bottom of the window, ready to open and jump out. He stopped and watched my hands. He put his hands up and took a step back.

“I-I-I’m sorry. I can’t stand men who disrespect women. I just feel like they have something coming to them. I didn’t mean to scare you.” I took a deep breathe.

“Are you going to punch me?” Fear ran through me as I awaited his answer.

“What? No.” Trevor’s tone was confused, but it didn’t feel like he was lying to me.

 

_I think this was a bad idea._


	4. Making It Happen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there! Here is the long awaited chapter! I-um- I know I said I would post once a week, but chapter 5 has got me stumped and after reading the amazing work of Adayinmymeadow, I have been greatly inspired to write another piece at the same time! I highly recommend their work, specifically "Here I Am" (Absolutely fantastic!) I promise I'll keep working on this one, but I can't force humor and I can't force writing. T^T  
> But..... HERE'S THIS ONE- please let me know what you think!

It had been a few hours after Ron was punched in the face. I had taken a short nap on the futon, even though Trevor begged me to sleep on the bed. Honestly I wasn’t ready to be on his bed, it was also super gross.

I woke up to Trevor hovering over me, sitting on the edge of the futon, both arms on each side of me, almost keeping me in place. I slowly sat up, my face close to Trevor’s. I have had so many dreams about Trevor it was getting hard to count and keep things straight. He gently pressed his lips to mine. Kissing him back, I trailed my hands up his arms, stopping at his shoulders. He pushed me down.

* * *

I woke up, practically jumped off the futon, at the sound of a gunshot. My eyes, blurry from exhaustion, attempted to focus as another gunshot went off.  Looking around, it was evening and Trevor wasn’t close by. _Who the fuck is shooting?_ Confused I crept outside, and to my left, I saw Trevor with a gun and a bottle of alcohol, attempting to shoot something. I carefully walked over and called out to him,

“Trevor?” He clumsily turned towards me, as if he was trying to remain standing. A grin spread across his face as he tried to quickly stumble towards me.

“Lily, I got somethin’ to say to ya.” All of his words were slurred and sluggish.

“Okay, what’s up?” Michael and Patricia had always kept drunk Trevor away from me, relaying everything he said about me, and here I stood, wondering what possessed me to call out to him. A pit of regret began to pool into my stomach. Trevor stumbled over his words at first, mumbling and babbling absolute nonsense, until he finally strung some words together,

“Li-Listen, beautiful. I-I-I know I’m a complete fuckin’ idiot. Bu-but I’m absolute certain of one thing and that’s how crazy I am-am about you. Shit.” He rubbed both of his eyes with the palm of his hands. “I care about you so much, I-I-I become a complete fucking idiot around you. Can barely talk even now…” He removed his hands from his face, eyes bloodshot and body moving back and forth like a tree in the wind. “I told Mikey before how crazy I was about you… how much I wanted you… I still want you.” A shiver ran down my spin. I felt his right hand caress my arm lightly.

“Oh… uhh… I’m going to go to Ron’s and you are going to… uhhh… help yourself…” I attempted to move past him, when his arm jutted out, trapping me on the porch.

“Wait up baby, you don’t want to help?” The tone in his voice had a hint of irritation and hurt. When I looked at him, everything about his body spelled lust, and as I tried to duck under his arm, I answered,

“Not really…” He clumsily attempted to stop me with his other arm, spinning around and slightly grasping my shirt before it slipped away. As I attempted to speed walk away from the trailer, he yelled after me,

“Wait! Please don’t leave me!” I slowed my walked and turned my head. He had stopped short of the fence gate, was on his knees, tears fell from his cheeks. It honestly looked like he was panicking. I quickly looked towards Ron’s trailer, mentally groaned and turned on my heel, walking back towards Trevor. He grabbed my waist, quickly pulling me into him, his face quickly buried itself into my stomach. His wails were muffled but still rang through my ears.

“Trevor!” I called out to him, glancing around. I really didn’t want someone to see us like this. It was nerve-wrecking enough that he was acting like a child. “Come on, get up. Let’s go inside.” Teary eyed, he looked up at me and cried,

“You won’t leave me?” I sighed,

“No, now let’s go inside okay?” He nodded vigorously as he slowly stood up. We walked back to the trail, hand in hand, although it seemed more like I was leading him there. I led him to the bedroom. _At least he could try and get some sleep._ I essentially laid him down, and sat on the edge of the bed. He was quick to fall into a drunken slumber, one arm under his pillow and the other holding my waist. I moved gently away from him. As I turned away towards the door, I felt him tugged on the back of my tank top.

“Please… stay with me.” He murmured. I sighed, but with a small smile on my face, I laid down next to him. The nap I had before totally messed me up, so what damage was a little bit more sleep going to do? _I’m sure he won’t do anything. I strangely trust him with that much._ As I closed my eyes, I felt the same comfort that I had in the dreams.

_I wonder what I will dream about now._

* * *

 

I woke up to Trevor’s tired face next to mine. His arm was lazily hanging over my hip, while the other was practically supporting my head. _Another dream._ I moved one hand to cup his face, caressing his cheek. His eyes lazily opened. I never realized how much of a chocolate brown they were; gentle, soft and warm. I leaned in, placed a gentle kiss on his lips. His hand removed itself from my waist, slowly cupping my face, and bringing me closer. His lips were rough, chapped, and his breath stank terribly of alcohol. We drank each other in, as our hands explored each other’s bodies. His body felt so foreign; a lot more muscular than I thought it would be. I could feel him gently tugging on my shorts, as if silently asking for permission. My own hands snuck under his shirt. We separated from one another, quick to remove our shirts and resume the contact. It was as if my body was craving something, and the contact and friction between Trevor and I, was feeding it. Everything was going so fast. At one point he was at my neck; nipping and sucking, as if marking me as his own. His teeth would graze my skin, sending shivers down my spine. Both of our hands groped and grabbed at everything they could. And then the next, I could feel him insert a single thick finger into me. My breath got caught in my throat. My stomach felt like it was twisting into knots as I felt a second finger enter. My nails dug into his back as his fingers moved deeply into me. My breathing became heavy and I started to lose focus. _I’m surprised the dream hasn’t ended at this point._ I heard his strained voice,

“I… want… to be… inside you…” It came out almost like a moan. He pressed his mouth to mine; it almost felt suffocating. His fingers pumped into me faster. My toes curled in anticipation of the familiar and mounting build of an orgasm. But no sooner did it actually start, he removed his fingers. My breath came out shaky as we pulled apart, my body shook as I looked back at him. His face looked hurt, sad, distraught. Something was wrong. I attempted to call out to him but nothing came out. I could feel myself panic, but I felt frozen in fear.

* * *

My eyes shot open. Feeling a lot of things were wrong at once, I attempted to sit up, only to find myself trapped in place. Slight panic washed over me as I felt large, rough hands rub up and down my back, sneaking lower and lower. I could feel my tank-top had been pushed far up, along with my bra, past my breasts only stopping under my shoulders.  Every so often, soft, almost feather light, kisses were pressed onto my back.

“T-Trevor?” The uncertainty in my voice rang out.

“Ah, am I hurting you?” I could hear anxiety in his voice, it almost sounded scared.

“No… but what are you doing?” I felt his weight alleviate my body, although one hand remained in the middle of my back, almost asking me not to move.

“You seemed to be having a really bad dream, so I thought I would try to help you relax. You were rolling around in your sleeping, and you kept saying my name; so I took action and thought a nice back rub would help.” He quickly put his free hand up in defense before I could speak, “Now, I did attempt to wake you and I did just try to hold you, but your movement was getting very frantic and I was worried.” His face was concerned, gentle. As it made me think back on the dream, he asked, “What were you dreaming about?” Words escaped me as I attempted to think of something.

“It’s hard to explain.” I felt blood rush to my face at the idea of me sleep talking, and calling out to Trevor. _This is beyond embarrassing._ “It was just… a not so great dream.” _There’s no way in hell I can tell him what that dream was about._ I smiled weakly, attempting to keep a facade. I heard him swallow a lump in his throat and reply,

“That’s not what it sounded like to me.” My heart dropped.

“Wha-”

“When I touched you, you practically writhed in pleasure.” He interrupted as the hand on my back pressed down. His face looked mildly hurt. “You kept calling out my name as I was giving you a back rub as if you **really** enjoyed it. So I don’t know what you were dreaming about but to say it was a ‘not so great dream’ is bullshit.” I could feel my face heat up, and as I looked away, Trevor continued, “so why don’t you actually tell me what you were dreaming about?” Looking at the wall to my right, I attempted to come up with some excuse or just something to get him to let off, but no ideas came to mind and embarrassment continued to flood through me, stuttering my speech and turning my brain to mush.

“I-I don’t think… it matters. I mean, it was just a dream. Maybe subconsciously I knew you were touching me, and just enjoyed the back rub. I mean, I do… like… back rubs.” _I… want to die._ I tried to laugh, but it was cut off by Trevor’s terse tone.

“Yeah, I’m not going to buy that for a second. But…” His hand trailed up and down my spine. “I can give you another back rub, you know since you like them so much.” In an attempt to stay collected, I replied,

“N-no… I’m good. My back is still kind of tingly from… this… last one…” As I spoke, he climbed back on top of me.

“That’s no good… here. I’ll make it better.” His voice had something in it, that made me shiver, and as his hands began to rub my back again, I felt something start to creep up in the back of my mind. _Okay! We need to move on from the dream, and this idea of something going to happen. Just… play it cool._ His calloused hands scratched at my back, but with the pressure he was applying, it actually felt pretty good.

“Oh wow, you are actually really good at this.” I complimented. I kind of thought, he was just going to half-ass it or do a somewhat painful and bad job because he didn’t seem like the type of person to actually know what he was doing. His hands found my shoulder muscles and neck, massaging them gently and then slowly applying pressure.

“Here let’s take this off.” He tugged at my scrunched up tank top and bra.

“Uhhh… I think we’re okay to leave that on.”

“No-no-no. I want to make sure I’m giving you my best effort, so this,” he tugged at the top, “needs to go.” _Alright… I’ll put some trust in you._ I shyly moved my arms, slightly lifted my body to take the top and bra off. I quickly set myself back as to not reveal myself.

“No need to be shy.” He placed kisses down my back. He went back to rubbing my back, every so often teasing my waistline. His hands felt like they were gliding over me, and I started to enjoy it maybe a little too much. “Looks like I’m doing a good job.” My eyes shot open, unaware that they had closed in the first place. “Making noises like that…makes me think you want… something more.” His hands found their way to my hips, gripping them gently, before sneaking two thumbs under the band of my shorts.

“Uhhh…” My voice squeaked. I cleared my throat before continuing, “No… I think I’m good. Like I… uhhh… said. I just really enjoy backrubs. Got a little too into it.” I nervously laughed. _This… is not playing it cool._ Trevor let out a low chuckle.

“I’m getting into it too.” His voice and words sent my stomach into knots. He let out a groan, and shifted his hips more downward, now straddling my ass. As I attempted to speak out, he started rubbing my back again, more aggressively; his hips, in sync with his movements, pressed his excitement against me. I could feel goosebumps creep over my skin as he gently humped me. His excitement gently touching mine as he kissed my neck.

“Can… we go further?” I could feel and hear his nervousness and the halt in his actions made me feel the same. I didn’t really think he was one for consent. It seemed like he would just go on without hesitation but… I felt a small appreciation for his asking. A large internal battle fought in my mind; I mean I did say I would give the relationship a chance but my stomach was in knots and I could barely think straight. I feared mostly that I would regret my actions, take it out on the wrong person; but his question made a point. It’s my decision too and whatever I decide; it will be my own. I took a deep breath before replying,

“Su-sure.” Trevor’s breath was going into my ear, creating goosebumps and shivers ran down my spine. I felt his hand trail down my back, gentle and tickling my skin as he glided by. Trevor moved off of me, flipping me onto my back. I quickly covered my chest in response.

“Hey, don’t hide those from me.” His voice was deep, almost embracing me. “Lemme see them.” He gently grabbed my wrists and I could feel my stomach squirm as he placed my hands next to either side of my head. “So beautiful.” He practically mumbled it as he removed his hands from mine and started groping my breasts. “These are perfect. They fit so nicely in my hands.” He leaned down, placing one nipple in his mouth. I could feel his tongue swirl around it, sucking on it hard, every now and then his teeth grazing the top. I twitched every time I felt his teeth; I usually felt nothing when someone played with them but Trevor’s aggression sent electricity through my body. He placed a few rough kisses on my chest, trailing up, ending at my lips. He forced his tongue into my mouth, exploring roughly. I wasn’t sure what to do with my hands as they remained on either side of my head. I gently raised them, cupping Trevor’s face. He took one hand, leading it lower and lower, cupping his clothed excitement. I rubbed gently over as he moaned into my mouth. Pulling away he hissed,

“Fuck, I want you.” He got up from the bed, standing nearby; he then grabbed and dragged me to him by the hips. I sat up so that my head met his chest. He hugged me, squeezing tighter and tighter as if I would be taken away. I felt rough lips pressed against my forehead and the low, muffled voice of Trevor,

“I want to do some many things to you. So many things… but I don’t want to force you, or hurt you.” Nervously, I looked up at Trevor, and replied,

“I-It’s okay.” His face looked somewhat shocked and unsure, as if what I had was foreign. He leaned down to meet my lips, gently pressing them against mine before staring in my eyes.

“I believe I promised to make you feel good.” I was completely enamored with his voice, it almost made me dizzy, as one hand tangled itself into my hair, pulling me into another kiss, and the other creeping down my body. My own hands stopped at his shoulders, gripping tightly as his hand pushed my shorts and underwear to this side, and slid a thick finger into me. A high-pitched squeak came from my lips, the end of it muffled by Trevor’s rough kiss. He planted quick kisses on my lips, and began to trail them down to my neck.

“T-Trevor.” I sighed. He spoke in a deep and husky voice,

“Don’t worry, I’ll put it in soon enough. I just have to loosen you up. You’re so tight.” He groaned, “Fuck, you got tighter. I can’t wait to be inside.” He bit and sucked at my neck. My head fell onto his chest. I whimpered as he added a digit, pumping in and out of me quickly. Any words that I had, got caught in my throat as he continued his assault. Everything came to a sudden halt as he removed his fingers and hands. He pulled away, quickly unbuckling his belt and undressing himself. He grabbed my thighs, fitting himself between my legs. My stomach did flips as I stared at how close were to one another.

“I need you.” He nor I bothered to remove my shorts, rather he just pulled them to the side with one hand, angling himself with the other. I held my breath in anticipation, as he began to tease me.

“Trevor.” My tone came out almost demanding. He glanced up at me, before slowly entering me. It had been a while since I had actually had sex, and it almost felt like he was stretching me.

“Fuck.” Trevor hissed. “So… fucking tight… and hot.” He moaned loudly as he started at a slow pace. I tried to speak but all of the words hitched up into my throat as his pace quickened. The sounds from both of our lips and bodies caused me to tense up more, building up almost like a fire in me. He continued to say obscenities, as he held both of my thighs down, my arms now around his neck, attempting to hold myself up. He pounded into me painfully hard as every time he sheathed himself it sent a sharp stabbing pain through my body. He was adjusting himself in every thrust, almost as if trying too hard to find my most sensitive spot. When he did find it, my body twitched, and I felt myself break into a cold sweat. My mind went blank as the impending orgasm neared, my whole body stiffened as he continued.

“I-I-I’m so close.” He stuttered and groaned. I couldn’t think straight as he continued, attempting several times to speak before stringing along a cohesive sentence.

“I-I’m close too. D-Don’t stop.” I could feel my body go numb, and my toes curl as the orgasm washed over me. A wave of heat and then a cool wash flushed over me as I came. His body jerked towards me as his breathing became unsteady and he babbled incoherent words. He stiffened, practically cried out as he came and then our bodies relaxed as our heavy breathing became the only thing between us. My mind felt numb, and no coherent thoughts came as I laid back. He fell on top of me, almost as if he was trapping me from running away.

“Th-That… was too good.” He kissed my cheek. I felt dizzy, and heavy. I didn’t know how to act on what just happened. My heart and mind were racing, unsure how to feel or what to say. I had agreed to it, but I was questioning the future, anxiety began to build into regret.

“What’s wrong?” His voice held concern. I tried to speak, but upon not knowing what to say only stuttered and bits of words came out. He hovered over me, eyes and face full of worry.

“Nothing.” I lied. I smiled gently and caressed his face. He wore an uncomfortable, unsure smile because pulling me into an embrace. I hugged him back tightly, wondering how to explain my feelings.

 

_I can only blame myself, I only hope that he understands that._


	5. The Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lily and Ron make the rules.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, sorry this one is coming out a little late; I'm going to be posting this story and I'll be posting Abused; So hopefully I can get on a schedule to do both, but with finals coming up, there might be some lateness. I'm going to try and make the next chapters a lot longer to make up for this short chapter and how late the chapters might be!

“Now it’s just fun because you think you’re babysitting me, but fun fact, I’m babysitting you. That’s just the truth of the situation.” Sarcasm was thick in my tone, difficult to miss. Ron stood defiant against me, as he replied.

“Well you’ve been difficult from the start.”

“Yeah, I  _ wonder why?!  _ I mean there must be some logical and somewhat simple explanation, for you to understand of course, as to why the fuck I’ve been such a difficult person from the beginning.” Ron’s brows furrowed as he glared at me.

“Why did I get stuck with you?” He groaned loudly.

“Blame Trevor.” 

After the hug, Trevor got a call from Michael. He left to meet him, and then proceeded out of nowhere to set up a playdate between Ron and I.  _ Thanks Trevor. Really appreciate that. _ Since Ron entered the trailer, he had been acting like a spoiled brat, complaining about he was stuck with me, when it was clearly the other way around. I felt irritation surge through me anytime he opened his mouth. For four hours, he just went on about how everything was my fault, and that he can’t focus on work because of me. 

“Maybe if you’d quit your bitching, you would be able to work on something.” I muttered under my breath. He turned his head and glared at me. 

“If you hadn’t gone and stolen Trevor, I would be getting so much work done. BUT NO, I have to continuously deal with you and your drama.” My mouth fell into a frown, as my brows furrowed deeply and I rebuffed,

“My drama? You have drama every single day, with you and Trevor getting shot at because you can track the government but you can’t track some small gang activity. Let me be the one to remind you that you want to blame this ‘lack of working getting done’ problem on me, but you’re the one in control of your actions. I’m not stopping you from doing your drop, in fact you came in here and immediately sat down and started bitching. When was I in control of your actions there? And when did I steal Trevor?! I rejected him every chance I got, it just so happened that we made a deal that lead to this fucked-up relationship.” Ron, fists clenched in anger, yelled,

“Fine since you want to play dumb! Let’s see if you win this time!” I blinked in confusion.

“You… want to fight… now?” He nodded.

“Yep and this time, we’re going to have rules.”

“Oh, hell no. You’re just going to make this entire thing favor you.”

“We can agree mutually on somethings. We can’t hurt Trevor. No causing physical destruction to the trailer OR to each other. AND no trying to pavlov someone.”  _ Ron still seems to have a grudge against me for that.  _

“What happens when someone breaks the rules? When does this end?” I questioned. Ron thought for a moment before replying,

“If someone breaks the rules, then they automatically lose. This ends when someone admits defeat.” I went silent for a moment.  _ Did I want to add any rules? _ An idea came to mind and I quickly spoke,

“Trevor can’t know! He’ll definitely yell at us if he finds out.” He nodded in agreement.

 

_ Let the games begin. _

* * *

 

I was cooking dinner when Trevor walked in, covered in blood and obviously angry. I held a hot pan, spatula in the other, half turned. We stared at each other for a quick second before he moved towards me, taking the items from my hands, and placed them on the counter. He pulled me into a tight embrace.

“Trevor, you’re covered in blood. Are you okay?” I asked panicked. He held me tightly and murmured,

“They want you to help on the next one, so things go more smoothly.” Confused, I tried to pull away, but Trevor tightened his hold on me. “I don’t want anything to happen to you.” He choked out the last few words before sobbing, large tears falling onto my shoulder. I patted him on the back.

“It’s fine, I understand. If you don’t come home looking this, then I’m okay with helping. And just so you know, I was a volunteer police officer and firefighter, I can handle myself.” Pulling away, I grinned at him. His eyes were red, a deep frown carved on his face. From the look on his face alone, he didn’t feel any comfort from my words. My hands moved to his face, caressing the scars that lined his cheeks. 

“Come on,” I removed my hands and took of his, “let’s get you cleaned up.” He weakly nodded, allowing me to lead him to the futon. I laughed gently, “You’re going to have to sit down on your knees, that way I can look at your back. Where are you injured?” Sitting down with me, he replied,

“I think I hit my head… and I may have got stabbed in the shoulder, maybe shot. I wasn’t keeping track.” My mind went into autopilot as I forced Trevor to stand, switch places with me as I quickly grabbed a med-kit. 

“Take off your shirt. I need to see where you’re injured.” I commanded as I opened the kit. His head, I couldn’t do anything about without proper equipment; his shoulder had some large gashes that trailed down to the rest of his upper arm. No blood seemed to gushing or pouring out of the wounds, rather it trickled gently down. I suspected that the shirt was acting as a sealant, and by removing it, it also took off some of the blood clotting that was starting to form. I grabbed a cloth and alcohol.

“This might sting.” I sounded apologetic as I poured alcohol onto his arm, and he responded with a long and high-pitched hiss. I dabbed the cloth gently, trying to clean rather than rip more scabs off.

The more I cleaned and wrapped up his body, the more I realized how reckless he was.  _ He really must have a death wish for acting like this. _ When all was said and done, he leaned back gently; his arms covered in gauze and band-aids. His legs weren’t too terrible, although still need some care. He sat awkwardly in his briefs after I had commanded him to remove his jeans so that I could fully care for him. I didn’t blame him, we were both weirdly embarrassed that he was sitting on the futon, almost naked while I was helping him. At one point, I had touched his leg in a certain way that caused him to groan. I could feel my face heat up, trying to avoid that particular spot but it still needed more attention. The sounds that had escaped his lips made me fidget in my spot. I had begun to move away, my work done, when he grabbed my arm.

“Don’t fucking tease me.” He breathed heavily while trying to keep his grip on me. As I stood unsure what to do, my head turned towards the sound of the front door opening. Ron had walked in, a late reaction spread across his face of regret and confusion. Wide-eyed, he started to back up as I squirmed away from Trevor’s grip.  _ Now the games can begin _ . I quickly walked past Ron, hiding behind him. I faced the door, and practically pressed my back to his. I could hear the stuttering noises from Ron, and Trevor silently stand up. I heard Trevor sigh in frustration and then walk into the bathroom. Ron nor I moved until the sound of running water echoed throughout the trailer. He quickly turned me around and started shaking me. In a low voice, he scolded me.

“What the hell are you thinking?! That should be one of the rules, not to get the other person killed!” My words came out scattered as he shook me.

“Don’t-know-what-you’re-talking-about. You’re-fine.” He stopped shaking me, gripping my shoulders roughly. He stared at me, looking crazed.

“You didn’t see the same look I did. You have no idea what I just went through.” I knew I should have taken the situation seriously, but Ron’s expression was so funny that I busted out laughing. I held onto my sides as I practically laughed in his face. Tears started to roll down my face as I continued to laugh, not hearing the shower turn off and a very naked Trevor stand in the doorway. My laughter died as I noticed him, turning away in embarrassment. 

“Ron. Get out.” Ron quickly ran out without question, while I stood with my back to Trevor. I could hear him approach me, stopping as soon as his chest met my back. I could feel the left over water on his chest begin to soak into my shirt. He wrapped his arms around me, pushing forward, and pressing me up against the counter. My entire body stiffened as his hands traveled up and down my body, grabbing my hips and kneading them roughly. His lips pressed up against my ear,

“I think I asked you not to tease me.” His breath trailed into my ear and shivers ran down my spine. “I just need a little bit of love. Real quick.” He kissed my ear, trailing down to my neck and bit down. I squeaked as I felt his hands scrambled to pull my shorts and underwear to the side, lift me slightly up and pressed this tip of his cock to me, teasing me. 

“I can feel how hot and tight you are just from this.” He gently inserted his tip into me, the sounds that escaped my lips caused blood to rush to my face, heating up. “So… fucking… tight.” He gently lifted my shirt, kissing my back. He began to thrust, only allowing his tip to go in and out of me. He whispered in my ear,

“D-d-do you want anymore? I ca-can feel myself… ge-getting ready to cum.” While his actions weren’t too stimulating, it felt as if I was being massaged. I didn’t answer, my mind was completely blank, and face hot with embarrassment. I shook my head as a response. He started to pick up the pace, inserting more of himself into me. “Y-y-you’re too tight.” He choked out. “I-I-I’m going to cum so...hard.” His words were choked as he attempted to keep on pace. I felt his body stiffen, his pace far more erratic as he came inside me. His body jutted forward, almost in a twitch response, something inside me clicked.

I was way too slow to realize something this important. 

“Trevor.” Trevor, out of breath, answered with an unsure voice,

“Y-y-yeah?” 

“Were you wearing protection?” My heart dropped as the silence sent in between the two of us. He removed himself, while I stood straight up. 

 

_ Fuck. _


	6. Making Big Decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lily and Trevor get to talk, and Steve and Dave reappear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all! I've written quite a bit, trying to make sure everything is in good quality.  
> Sorry for the weird formatting, the site is being really weird with the story today! :(  
> Let me know what you all think and thank you for reading!

Trevor sat on the futon, while I paced around the room. Neither of the times that we spent together did we use protection. _Why am I only thinking of this shit now?!_ Trevor had been trying to get me to relax, but I had so much anxiety that I pushed him away. He sadly waited for me to speak; and when I did, it was in a panicked pace and anxious tone.

“We… haven’t been very safe, but maybe it’s okay? I mean we can go and get-” Trevor stood up, grabbing and interrupting me,

“Let’s just take this one step at a time okay? If you get pregnant, we can figure it out from there.” His tone was oddly gentle for a situation that allows panic.

“What does- what does that even mean? Do you want to take care of a kid? Do you realize how hard that would be in your position and your habits? Do you think I want to take care of kid? Do you think I’m ready for a kid? This isn’t your body, this is my body. I want you to know that right now; I will take responsibility for my mistake. It’s not just yours, it’s mine; it’s ours. So if I do end up pregnant with a child, then that’s on me and I’ll take responsibility, whether you’re in the picture or not.” I internally screamed for finding my resolve in yelling at Trevor. Do I think Trevor would make a great dad? No, no I don’t. I’m not even sure if he’d be able to mentally handle the situation. If I do end up pregnant, then I’d have to find a new place to live and a job; I couldn’t hold Trevor responsible because of how mentally unstable he is. I could only depend on myself. I focused back on Trevor, the look on his face confused me. His eyes were wide as if he was happy, his lips were almost trying to not curl into a grin. He pulled me into a hug and asked,

“Wo-would you really keep it?” _That’s what you’re focusing on?!_ There was an excited tone in his voice. Befuddled I tried to move around to see his face, but to no avail as he held me tightly.

“Trevor?”

“I-I know I wasn’t treated right as a kid, and I’m extremely rough around the edges. But I would do more for the kid than my parents ever did for me.” He clung to me. “I-I-I’m going to need help though. I know nothing about kids o-o-or anything like that.”

“Trevor, I think we can talk about that type of stuff for when we get there. I think we’re thinking a little too far ahead.” I attempted to pull apart from him, but he tightened his hold on me. _He is seriously getting over excited._

The ringing of a phone was what ended the conversation. Trevor pulled slightly away, grimaced at his phone screen and then answered,

“What do you want?” “Fuck no… you think I’m- fine. Fuck you.” He hung up angrily, slammed his lips into me, and replied,

“Let’s go. That fuck face has something for us.” _Fuck face?_ Before he moved towards the door, he quickly turned back to me and asked,

“Right now… does it matter the stress you’re under? I mean for you and the baby?” I looked at him perplexed.

“I mean, yes?” He nodded quietly and walked away.

_What the fuck did I get myself into?_

* * *

Trevor and I drove for about three and a half hours to a port on the other side of the state. Michael and Franklin stood facing the water on the pier while we got out of the truck. They both turned around and greeted us with a wave as Trevor asked,

“What’s goin’ on ladies?”

“Same as always Trevor.” Michael answered exasperated. He turned towards me,

“Hey kiddo, he treatin’ you right?” I smiled.

“Depends on what you define as right.” Michael chuckled at the answer.

“What kept ya?” Michael asked turning to Trevor.

“Business, Michael, business. Alright? I’m the CEO of a big international corporation, it’s very time consuming. Nothing, of course, you would understand, being a gentleman of leisure.” Trevor spoke erratically as he kicked rocks into the water nearby. It was weird how he acted around Michael, like they were kids or teenageres who were always fighting with one another, while Franklin and I stood nearby. We greeted each other with small smiles as Trevor continued to speak,

“You know, you know Franklin. If there’s one thing that you’re gonna learn from being around us-”

“Plead fuckin’ insanity. Then they can’t fry you.” Michael interrupted. Franklin looked between the two confused as I tried to stop a laugh that was threatening to escape. As they continued to argue and Franklin tried to stop them, I was trying to focus on not laughing as Steve and Dave came up behind us. The entire area felt different as Steve and Dave had a noticeable distaste in their mouth as they stared at me. I glared back as I stood up straight.

“Hey. Where’s the other two?” Steve questioned. _What?_

“What other two?” Michael retorted.

“We told you to bring along six. This is a six man job.”

“No you didn’t.”

“Dave did.”

“No Dave didn’t.” Michael and Steve went back and forth with Dave also saying,

“You said you’d do it.”

“That is a frickin’ lie.” I sighed in frustration. Steve was acting over dramatic for no reason and now everyone had to suffer because of it. I still had no idea what we were even doing out here, and yet here they were, arguing over someone not giving information to another person. It’s a wonder that none of them are even dead yet with Steve leading the way. I rubbed my temples as they continued to argue. “I do not get things wrong.” _You just fuckin’ did!_

“Then we’re out of here.” Michael waved for all of us to walk off, and as we were just walking past them, Steve stopped us.

“The four of you can do it alone.”

“And die? Fuck you.” Michael swore as he took a step forward in Steve’s direction. “You do your own dirty work.”

“Hey I do my dirty work everyday.” Steve’s eyes landed on me. “And I’m thinking I might have a little bit more soon.” The disgust on my face showed as Trevor stepped in front of me, a glare that would make any other man drop dead was aimed at Steve. Steve ignored it and continued,

“Keepin’ the country safe from scum like you. Well except for the lovely lady.” Franklin then took the chance to reply as he clapped,

“And you doin’ a great job, sir.” His tone was thick with sarcasm. Trevor then stepped a bit more forward, lining himself up with Franklin and Michael. I remained behind the three of them.

“You want this job done? Then come with us, huh? Come on! Come on Mr. Leisure Wear!” He waved at Steve to follow him and began to walk away. “Mr. Depressed Accountant!” Near where the rocks met the water, he turned and proclaimed, “Let’s go save America!” His arms out as if challenging them to follow. Trevor was acting strange, almost as if he was trying to act his ‘normal’ self or something. _Is Trevor trying to prove something?_

“Who the fuck are we savin’ it from this time?” Franklin angrily asked.

“This is the real deal.” _Sure, sure._ “My sources are convinced there’s a plot in International Affairs, y’know The Agency, and they’re using this facility to make some serious nerve toxin.” Steve sounded like he was trying to over hype them. Trevor called out from behind us,

“Bullshit!” Steve continued, almost ignoring Trevor,

“Yeah! Which they plan, in their mind blowing insanity, to let a major terrorist release on a metropolitan area so they can continue to get funding.” _What?_ I knew the different governmental groups were absolutely crazy about getting funding recently due to all the cuts, but that’s absolutely insane. _Is this what they have been up? How do they even know this is true? Who are their sources? Why are they doing this on the side?_ I had too many questions for them to answer at this point. I’d have to ask later. Crossing my arms and shifting in my spot, I continued to listen, “Nothing increases funding for fighting terrorism more than successful acts of terrorism.” Steve’s movements made him look like a robot as his did choppy movements in the air with his hands. Trevor attempting to make a point in something said,

“So-so. Alright. So let me get this straight then-” Steve interrupted,

“No-no-no-no-no-no-no. There is no getting this straight, that’s the point. Now we’re doing this! You three,” He pointed to Trevor, Franklin and I, “you’re on get away. Fuck off and make it happen.” Steve turned on his heel before stopping mid-movement, came back to a full stand and turned around quickly. “Actually, Lily. I need to talk to you on the side.” Trevor grabbed my wrist, pushed me behind him and spit,

“You can talk to her in front of us.”

“It’s none of your fucking concern, but it is hers. Now Lily, please join us on the side very quickly, we have something to do, and you are all wasting time.” I groaned as I gently pushed past Trevor, patting his arm to at least attempt to comfort him or calm him down. We walked a short ways up a hill before Dave and Steve turned towards me. Steve spoke first,

“Now, we get to talk in a somewhat private area.” _Sure sure._ I curled one of my eyebrows. “We didn’t really appreciate you using our own car to bang into us.”

“Didn’t appreciate you holding up my friends at gunpoint.” Dave then spoke up,

“Trevor’s the one who kidnapped you, why would you care what happens to him?”

“Sure, he kidnapped me, but I wasn’t talking about him. I was talking about Michael and Franklin. Trevor, sure he’s the psychopath who kidnapped me, but so are you guys. I was almost home-free, when you two knocked me out. Also, you held a gun to my head.” I pointed towards Dave then crossed my arms in front of my chest, my brows furrowed into a glare.

“Oh, so you and Trevor aren’t a thing?” A hint of interest could be heard in Steve’s voice.

“No, we are. It’s just something that kind of happened, going with the flow right now. But everybody and their mother knows, it won’t last long. We’re going to let it take its course and then I’m going to go back to my life.”

“What do you mean?” Dave questioned. This almost felt more like an interrogation.

“Think about it. Trevor is too erratic and unstable to be in a relationship with. It’s like constantly babysitting. That’s not really a relationship. Anyways, who fuckin’ cares? Why do you two care what the fuck I’m doin’?”I looked between the two of them, who shot each other a glance.

“Trevor is more compliant if you’re involved. He literally was refusing to do any work when you left, very important work. Because of that, we had to step in. We need him to consistently work so that we can figure out what’s going on without risking our own skins.” Dave explained.

“Ergo the three amigos.” Steve gestured to Michael and the others.

“Okay? The fuck that go to do with me?” I inquired.

“We need you to make sure Trevor behaves. He didn’t act out at all during this meeting, and we’d like to attribute that to you being here. Your presence alone has caused him to be completely calm. We just need you on some of these… missions, so that we can ensure everyone’s safety and selves are kept in check.” Dave finished.

“What possessed you to date the psycho?” Steve was digging a little to much in that department.

“Why do you care?” I shot back.

“Because if it’s going to end anyways, you might as well as date or hook up with someone who means something.” Steve did not act as smooth as he thought he did in this line of questioning.

“I’ll date who I want to date. Don’t we have terrorists to fight or something?” I questioned. Dave nodded, while Steve, a bit taken back, replied,

“Yeah, yeah. We’re going to need you for another thing, so make sure you live through this.” The three of us parted ways, while Steve yelled,

“Michael! You’re with us! What size flipper you wear?” Steve and Dave walked back towards the docks, while I met up with Trevor and Franklin at the top of the hill. I looked back at Michael, who looked beyond unhappy to be working with the two agents. Trevor turned towards me,

“What did they want to talk about?”

“Stupid shit.” I replied. “They’re still salty about the car thing. And they want to question my dating choices, which whatever.”

“Steve say anything to you?”

“Plenty, but I wouldn’t be too worried.” I turned to walk away, stopped before making another step, “They’re fuckin’ morons anyways.” Franklin who was a distance away, turned to see Trevor and I lagging behind.

“C’mon, can’t be late for this thing.” I nodded while Trevor remained silent.

_This is going to be a long day._

* * *

We were informed we would be using a chopper as get away. Trevor and I sat in front in silence as we flew over San Andreas. His face was relaxed, calm; he didn’t seem to have a care in the world as he flew the chopper to the destination. It was one of the few times, where he actually seemed genuinely happy. I tried to break the silence.

“I actually can’t believe you know how to fly.” I tried to laugh as Trevor looked at me from the corner of his eye with a small smile on his face.

“Well, I was in the Canadian Air Force.” I perked up.

“Oh? Didn’t take you for a military man.”

“Ah, well it just so happened that the day I would have gotten my wings, someone took them away. I was discharged out, and left to my own devices.” Trevor’s solemn tone made me feel bad for asking.

“So-sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.”

“Nah, you’re good. You didn’t know.” He kept a gentle smile on his face. “You’re the only person who’s said that they’re sorry about it. Why is that?”

“Because you seem so happy right now.” Trevor was quiet for a few moments, staring ahead, before replying,

“Well… that’s becau-” A voice rang through the earpiece, cutting off Trevor’s words.

“Current location?” It was Dave.

“We are closing in on your location in T-3 minutes.” Trevor sounded so professional, I almost thought it was someone else speaking. I didn’t notice I had been staring at him until his eyes glanced over at me. I found myself to be embarrassed over staring so I quickly turned away, clutching the seat of the chopper tightly. Sneaking a peak back at him, he had a small smile on his face as we got closer to Michael’s location. Trevor spoke again, as we got closed the distance.

“I’m just a couple of clicks out. The package ready?”

“Package is ready. Get over here, man.” Michael sounded tired as he spoke through the piece. I didn’t blame him though, out of all of us, I’m sure he had the hardest job. Trevor spoke with a little agitation in his voice,

“I can’t believe they spent the take from the Paleto Job on this chopper. It’s a flying big rig.” _Take? Paleto job?_ _What the fuck have all of you been doing? They bought this thing?_ I started looking around the chopper confused, then looked back at Trevor who was focused on obtaining the package. _Oh gosh, these guys are in deep as hell._ I looked down on the ground, the three looked to be arguing at this point. I asked Trevor,

“What’s going on?”

“Don’t know, don’t care. We have to focus on the package and handling it correctly.” Trevor stated. He did act differently when he was on the job, and while Steve and Dave could talk how they wanted to on the subject, he clearly did a 180 on himself for this job. _But I think it’s only for the job. I think he does realize the circumstances that he’s in, and that if he fucks arounds, there’s only consequences._ I looked back down, watched one of the people on the group step back into the building. A gunshot, almost smothered by the sound of the chopper, rang through the air. Michael’s frantic voice came through the earpiece,

“Go! Go! Go! Pull us up!” Trevor pulled up on the stick, bringing the chopper farther into the air, made a turn, and heading over the airstrip. After a few moments, Trevor spoke,

“What happened back there? Where’s Agent Haines? Don’t tell me we suffered casualties.”

“Only self inflicted ones. Fucking guy shot himself so he could pass as a double agent.” Michael replied. I began to laugh. Trevor looked at me with a grin on his face.

“Maybe they’ll debrief him with a twelve inch aluminum flashlight.” Trevor replied.

I tried to stop myself from laughing, but to no avail. Trevor’s grin grew wider until Dave’s voice came through,

“Haines took the easy way out. We’re the ones hoping we’ll outrun the Agency response team.” I knew this situation was serious, but I realized I hadn’t asked about the response. Looking around outside, it seemed like we were in clear, but now I was on edge.

“I think Franklin’s the one taking the easy way. Guy’s got his feet up in an aircraft hangar.” Trevor said with minor disdain.

“Look, let’s just get to the airport so we can finish this bullshit.” Michael said.

“When you drop us, I’ll take the nerve agent. Mr. Philips, can I trust you to dispose of the chopper?” Dave asked.

“I got more important things to worry about than messing around with this stupid chopper. Like, things that actually mean nothing. Not made up wars with made up enemies. Matters of the heart.” I looked at Trevor. _What??_ Confused I sat in silence as we set down the package and Dave asking, presumably to Michael,

“Is he fucking with me?”

“Probably not.” Michael stated flatly. As Trevor set down the trailer and then the chopper. Franklin quickly came out of a semi, and while Michael and Dave stepped out, I quickly turned towards Trevor.

“What do you mean by matters of the heart?” Trevor looked at me, his eyes were cold, distant and then he spoke,

“Hop out. I gotta get rid of this thing.” I nodded and then got out. I ran towards Michael and the others as Trevor lifted off again, disappearing into the distance.

“So the chemical weapon in there right?” Franklin asked.

“If it even is a chemical weapon. Hell it could be shaving cream for all I know.” Michael’s tone was a mixture of sarcasm and seriousness. It was decently scary that this chemical weapon could essentially go off at any time, no warning and absolutely kill everyone within the radius of Sandy Shores and then some. Michael quickly turned to me, and then back to Franklin, pointing at him and stating,

“By the way, next time you’re the one getting wet. Oh, but there won’t be a next time will there, Davey?” _Davey?_ Dave frowned, as Michael and Franklin waited for an answer. “There never is.” From the look of Dave’s face alone, it seemed like he wasn’t going to let anyone off the hook just yet.

“I’ll do my best for you. I always try.” Dave’s tone had a hint of exasperation, like he didn’t really care or try to do anything for Michael. I looked between all three of them. I didn’t know how long they had been working together, but it was clear that Michael and Franklin wanted out. With Steve and Dave, they had already made it clear that they didn’t want to just let them go. They had bigger plans for them than what the three actually wanted to do; and with me in the mix, it certainly was going to make things interesting and harder.

“Yeah, well maybe this time, we’ll get lucky.” Michael spat. I placed my hand on Michael’s shoulder. He gently patted it as he continued, “Maybe this time Steve will succumb to the strains of enhanced interrogation techniques.”

“Interrogate him, are you insane?” Dave laughed. “They’re probably decorating him right now.”

“Hey Davey, your boys at the Agency are onto you, remember? Huh, you and Stevey.”

“Just try and keep your heads down.” Dave said with an irritated tone. He walked away, quickly to the semi.

“Ah, putz.” Michael murmured as Dave drove away. We all started to walk into the hanger as Michael turned to me and asked,

“What’s this whole ‘matters of the heart’ thing Trevor mentioned?”

“No clue. I asked, but he just asked me to hop out.” I replied exasperated.

“Well… that’s fucked. Hey listen, Imma change out this wetsuit, the three of us can go out and eat.” Michael suggested.

“Oh yeah, sounds good. But let’s not do milkshakes, we gettin’ somethin’ else.” I looked at Franklin after his reply.

“Like what?”

“Lily, you never been here before right?” I shook my head.

“Then I got the perfect place for us to eat and chill.”

_I wonder where we’re going._

* * *

Michael, Franklin and I sat quietly munching on our hot dogs and fries at a picnic table near the beach.

“See, I told ya. Place got the best food.” Franklin said with a mouthful. I nodded, more focused on the food than anything else. A ringing phone silenced the munching as Michael scrambled to get his phone. He sighed and stood up,

“Be right back.” He walked away, answering with a somewhat irritated ‘hello.’ Franlkin turned to me, and asked,

“Hey, so how did you run in with Trevor and Michael?” I looked at him curiously.

“I thought they told you that.”

“Well I knew you had been kidnapped and shit. I also know that you came back and are now hangin’ with Trevor, forced to hang with us too.”

“Well that’s pretty much the gist of it. One day I was at my college, Trevor took me as a hostage to ensure his escape and I ended up here for almost a full year. I escaped, got caught by the FIB, kicked their asses and got back to you. Kind of a cluster fuck of a situation.” I pointed a fry at him. “How did you meet the two of them?” I motioned towards Michael.

“Michael, I… it’s a long fuckin’ story. I was paid to go and repo a vehicle that Michael’s son paid for. Michael caught me, forced me to crash the vehicle into my workplace and I got fired. I helped Michael with a thing, got paid and decided to help Michael out with the bullshit with the FIB. And that’s also how I met Trevor, crazy motherfucker. We did something together and we’ve been runnin’ ever since.” I nodded. Franklin seemed to be getting wrapped in shit that was clearly not his problem.

“Damn, so you’re babysitting a bunch of grown men, making sure they don’t kill each other; while trying to get all of this shit done? That sucks.”

“You’re tellin’ me.” The silence set in for a little bit as we both looked at Michael who was still chatting away on the phone. “What’s college like?” The question came out of nowhere, I also didn’t expect Franklin to be interested.

“It’s a different type of freedom, it’s stress, some days feel more like hell than others; but for me, it feels different. I always get so excited to learn new things, push myself forward towards something I want. It’s hard to describe what college is like. Sorry.” I gave him an apologetic smile, which he returned then replied,

“Nah, it makes sense. Do you miss it?”

“Yes, yes I do.” I stated with no hesitation. The moment we were stuck in was a little awkward. “What about yourself? What do you do?”

“Well, I ain’t ever been to college. No real opportunity, or maybe there was and I just fucked it up. I’ve been part of gangs and hustlin’ my entire life; it’s also difficult to explain. I know for a fact that my good friends are gangs, some of them dead, but everybody who I meet isn’t looking at the future. They ain’t thinking about how, they’re current line of ideas or whatever isn’t modern. It’s so- they’re trying to live out the good old days but that’s fuckin’ impossible in this day and age. They just need to grow up.”

“That does sound complicated. But you can’t expect people to move on from things they want. They want to stay in past, then let them. But don’t get in their way, you’ll be at the bunt of their verbal assault.” Franklin thought for a moment and then replied,

“I guess that makes sense. I don’t know.” I could offer an apologetic smile again as he looked at me. Michael sat down next to Franklin again and replied,

“Alright, here’s the deal.”

 

_Alright, what’s up?_


	7. The End For a Few

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lily, Michael and Franklin talk about the future, while Trevor cuts ties with a few loose ends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! It's final's week for me but I'm going to post this one for you guys! Not very long though, sorry about that!  
> Let me know what you guys think! Thanks for reading!

“Here’s the deal, the three of us have a big score coming up. Huge. Lily, we would like for you to ensure our safety… minimize the dangers of the mission.” I looked between Franklin and Michael.

“Okay… what the fuck are you guys thinking?” I asked in a stern tone. Michael attempted to explain,

“I owe Trevor something big, this is something big. So if you help us hit it up, then you’ll make away big just like the rest of us.”

“So lemme get this straight… you want me… to help you rob something?” My voice came out squeaky, and unsure. 

“Yeah, that’s the jist of it.” I raised an eyebrow at Michael, and then asked,

“What would you have me do?” He looked at Franklin and then back at me.

“We need you to go into the Los Santos Police Department. We need you to keep them busy with hacking and messing with the hardware and software to buy us sometime. You’re a volunteer police officer, they aren’t going to say no to someone who passed the exam and is trained to be a police officer.” I looked at both of them curiously.

“Okay? But uh, did you forget that I’m still a missing person?” Franklin and Michael taken aback sat in silence. 

“We can put you under a different name.” Michael suggested.

“Yes, and then what about my credentials? It takes actual time to study and train for those exams; time that I’m going to assume that you don’t have.” 

“We can falsify those too.” Michael said with an agitated tone.

“No need to get grouchy, I’m just trying to ensure you don’t fuck yourselves over because you aren’t seeing the whole picture. You aren’t thinking of all of the possibilities or the holes in your plan. What are you going to do when you actually get there and you didn’t prepare for something? You can’t just stick someone, somewhere, without having all the proper identification or training.” I leaned forward. “Who's ever idea it was to put me down as police officer, needs to think of all the aspects of the plan. Sure you could falsify all my credentials, but you wouldn’t have thought to do that until last minute. Even if you did do it early, that idea would have come from someone’s else thought process and then would have been too late to actually put in action efficiently. Putting yourself within a police department takes time, and charisma. I have the charisma but do you have the time?” I looked between the two of them and said, 

“But ya know, I’m just sayin’. I could be wrong.” I shrugged at the both of them when I heard a voice to my left.

“Fuck that was hot.” I turned my head to see Trevor, hands in his pockets, staring at me. Michael groaned as Franklin spoke up,

“Maybe we should have Lily go over the plan. Maybe she can find things we aren’t seein’.” Michael, face in his hands, said in a muffled and irritated tone,

“Yeah, that would be cool. Just gotta deal with Lester.” Trevor sat down next to me, placing a large hand on my thigh. 

“Listen, we can talk about this shit later, but I need to borrow Lily… for a thing.” I raised a brow.  _ What would he need me for?  _ He stood up first, and motioned me to follow him. I waved at both Franklin and Michael,

“See ya guys later!” They both weakly waved, as I followed Trevor. As we both entered the bodhi and he drove off, I turned towards him and asked,

“What’s this thing you need me for?”  _ More illegal activity I guess.  _

“Well, Imma see Floyd and tell him that we are leaving his place today. I got us a new place to be at.” I looked forward.

“How mature, now where’s this new place?” I questioned. He was silent, and as we reached the condo, my anxiety grew.  _ What is Trevor planning?  _ We pulled up, hopped out and started heading up the stairs when I heard Floyd’s voice,

“I miss ya already.” We climbed to the top, and as we neared it, Floyd walked out of the apartment. He must have seen Trevor first, as he glared and coldly asked,

“What the F word are you doing here?” Trevor got closer.

“That’s a funny way to greet your cousin.”  _ What?  _ Floyd stepped closer, almost taking up his challenge. 

“You ain’t my G-damn cousin, Trevor.” 

“I thought we was family.”  _ What the hell is wrong with Trevor? _

“Please just go and ruin somebody else’s home furnishings.” I immediately tried to step between them when a female voice rang through,

“Who the F is that Floyd?”

“No one my sweet!” Floyd quickly replied. He sounded nervous. I attempted to step between them again, when Trevor gently pushed me back and move forward to the door and yelled,

“Hey, by any chance did you catch crabs at that conference?” Trevor pushed Floyd out of the way and kicked the front door in. I grabbed Floyd’s arm, we looked at each other and move forward to try and stop Trevor. The woman, who I would assume to be Debra, behind the door screamed,

“Ah! Floyd!” Walking in with Floyd, Trevor still speaking as he walked past Debra,

“I heard that those conferences are regular little fucks fests! Huh? Can I come in? Huh?” I tried to stop him, but Debra spoke again,

“I’d like you to leave, right now!” She turned to look at Floyd, and saw me, “Who the F is this? Have you been cheating on me?” Trevor ignoring her words, spoke above her as he got himself a cup of water in the kitchen,

“Some serious corporate gang banging going on, right? Yeah with every executive,” The woman stood angry as if hanging on to every one of Trevor’s words. “Director of communications from here to Bangalore.” Trevor moved into the living room.

“Trevor!” I tried to stop him from talking, but he just continued,

“Taking it left, right and center. In the name of team training, right? I mean now that’s what Floyd told me yesterday when he was, uh, staring at my penis.”  _ You weren’t even here yesterday! What are you doing?  _

“I want you to leave! Now!” The woman yelled as Trevor sat down. 

“This is just a misunderstanding!” I tried to calm Debra down and put myself between Trevor and her, but she immediately turned to me,

“A misunderstanding?! I have two strangers in my home, and one of them is a whore! Get out of my condo!” Debra flailed her arms to keep Floyd and I from getting near. She turned towards Floyd, pointed at  him and said, “And you go too, Floyd. I told you, I’ve got a career. I don’t need this... CRAP!” The room fell silent as Trevor now was standing up. There was something in his face that made me uneasy. I attempted to grab Floyd’s arm, as if to pull him away from this situation, but he was frozen in his place. Debra spoke again,

“There. You made me swear. You’re crap Floyd! Crap!” Floyd put his hands up, as if accepting defeat, and I attempted to pull him more, but he remained solid in his spot. “You’re not a man at all.” She continued her verbal assault. “Bob’s right about you. So why don’t you take your creepy friend and your whore and get out of my condo now?!” Debra walked past the me and the kitchen, when parallel with the door, she pointed to it. Trevor was now closer,

“Whoa, hey. What did you just call her?” Floyd attempted to quickly pace between Debra and Trevor, as if it would keep a safe distance between them. Debra glared at all of us and stated with a hiss,

“I called her a fucking whore! I don’t give a fuck on what her fucking name is!” She moved closer and then turned towards the kitchen, still speaking, “I’m not afraid to use this.” She pulled out a gun from one of the kitchen drawers. “Bob taught me.” My brain went into overdrive as she aimed it towards all three of us and I spoke,

“Whoa, whoa! We will get out, but you need to put the gun down.” Debra cocked the gun. “Ma’am, I need you to put down the gun. Floyd I need you to move quickly behind the banister. Trevor, I need you to move to my left.” Trevor who clearly wasn’t listening to me, asked again,

“What, the fuck did you call her?” Floyd quickly moved to the counter, taking a sharp knife from it, waving it around, yelled,

“Fuck Bob!” 

“Floyd!” I tried to get through to him.

“You people aren’t very fucking nice.” Trevor grabbed me, pulling us down to the ground next to the couches. Debra fired a shot. Trevor pulled me to the end of the couches against the wall. I scrambled to at least get up in a crawling position as Trevor jumped over the counter and into Debra. I heard her scream in pain and another gunshot. I was squatting now, looked over to see an injured Floyd who was still attempting to wave the knife around. I stayed where I was, watching Trevor stand up, and grab the knife from Floyd, and began to stab him multiple times with it. I immediately ran to Trevor.

“Trevor, Trevor! Stop it!” Floyd, who I had once considered a good person, lied on the floor, bleeding out and dead; his eyes still dull and grey. There was a grunt behind me, as I turned, Debra was attempting to stand up, holding on to her bleeding neck.

“Debra, I need you to lay down. I can help you.” I stayed where I was, not approaching her. I could tell her focus was on the kitchen knives. Trevor slowly stood up, blood dripping from his face and drenched clothes. She attempted to grab a knife as Trevor turned, facing her and walked towards her. As soon as she grabbed the knife, Trevor shoved Floyd’s into her skull. She choked, and fell to the ground, her body twitching. I stood in two growing pools of blood, questioning what the hell just happened.  _ I just stood and watched.  _ Trevor groaned, and turned around. He was breathing heavily, his eyes still wild. He breathed heavily, and growled under his breath as he tried to calm himself down. I immediately grabbed a drying cloth, and wet it. I slowly approached him, pressing it against his face. His eyes stared at me.

“I-i-i-i-if blood gets in your mouth, y-y-y-you could get really sick.” I tried to gently wipe it, but it grabbed my hand, pulling it away and coldly said,

“I’ve had blood in my mouth before. It’ll be fine.” I brought my hand back, placed the cloth down onto the counter and walked to Floyd. His eyes were still open, and his hair soaked with blood. I looked back at Trevor, who was busy still trying to relax; then my focused turned to the bodies. The two of them looked to be in bad shape, touching anything would be a bad idea, although the blood on the cloth I just used was not his own. At least I didn’t think. With Trevor’s frustration levels mounting or falling, unsure at this point, I turned on my heels and began to leave the apartment. I gently shut the door behind me, walking down the steps and stood in front of the bodhi. I didn’t have a phone, but the least I could do was get away from here. As I began to walk away, I was stopped by a voice I hadn’t heard in a while,

“Oh hey Lily!” I turned to my left, seeing Wade waving at me. “Where’s Trevor? Aren’t you supposed to be with him.” 

“Ah… well you see-”

“Wade!” We both turned our heads up to see Trevor, walking down the steps. “Let’s go, we got stuff to do.” As he reached the bottom, Wade asked,

“Oh, did ya meet Debra?”

“Interesting lady.” Trevor stated as he walked towards the bodhi. 

“Well might as well as say hello.”

“I wouldn’t do that.” Trevor’s tone was threatening.

“Why not?” 

“Let’s go have the time of our lives! Let’s just go!” Trevor motioned for Wade to get into the bodhi, when he suddenly turned to me and spoke in a low, deep voice, almost full of boiling hate,

“Not you. Stay here.”

Trevor drove off with Wade, leaving me behind. A piece felt extremely hurt, but another was trying to just get over it. I looked around, I knew the distance from here to Michael’s was a couple hours away, I didn’t want to inconvenience him. I could walk back to Sandy Shores. _ What a stupid idea. But let’s do it anyways.  _

As I began to walk towards Sandy Shores, almost a full day’s walk away. I’m not sure why I was acting like this, this was so abnormal. I stopped.

_ Am I in shock?  _ I am a little too calm for what happened, and I am upset with Trevor. I started to walk again, crossing streets and passing buildings that didn’t seem too familiar.  _ Why am I so moody?  _ I tried to pat my face with my hands as if to wake up, but there was no change. 

_ I must be in shock. _ As I said those words in my head, I passed by a window. My reflection should a woman, short, somewhat long hair, and tired eyes. I continued walking. 

Well whatever’s wrong with me, hopefully I’m able to think straighter when I get to my destination. I was stopped in my tracks as I heard a horn honking next to me.

“Hey! Hey Lil’!” I turned my head to see Franklin getting out a vehicle. He jogged up to me. “What are you doing here? Where’s Trevor?” Before I could speak, I realized it was Franklin who would be the one to break the dam. My eyes start to just pour tears and I began to sob, unable to speak or move. He tried to talk to me but I couldn’t hear what he said. I felt him gently lead me to the car, helped me sit, and closed the door. I covered my face in my hands and in little to no time felt the movement of the vehicle. 

“Where were you going? What were you doin’ way out here?” I sniffled as I answered,

“Trevor killed some people and then left me there.” 

“What? Oh fuck.” Franklin’s phone rang and as he answered he was clearing interrupting something,

“Mike chill! We got bigger problems. I’m comin' by your crib.” We remained silent until we arrive at Michael’s. I stepped out as Michael had walked out of his home. He immediately walked up to me,

“What the fuck happened? Why are you crying?” I started to cry again as Michael embraced me.

 

“What the fuck did he do?!”

  
  



	8. Steve and Lily

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve drags Lily into the mess that is the main plot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry this one is coming out a bit late, I had a friend over for a couple days and I completely forgot!   
> Thank you for reading and let me know what you guys think!

After crying for what seemed like hours and finally explaining what happened, Michael’s fists and jaw were clenched. Franklin on the other hand, had run off and brought me back a milkshake.  _ Of course, the everyday cure.  _ Franklin sat next to me, while Michael paced in the room in anger. He pulled out his phone, dialed in a number, only to violently throw his phone into a chair. 

“Fuckin’ asshole!”

“Whose an asshole?” A deep voice from our left wandered in. We all turned our heads to see Trevor leaning on the doorway. He had cleaned himself up, wearing a completely different outfit. His eyes were no longer crazed, rather he seemed calm, cool and collected. It put me on edge, it was as if he was pretending nothing had happened. I just lost a friend, one of my few allies in this place, and here his murderer was, acting as if he was god-send. I immediately felt anger and turned away.

“You fuckin’ are, you dick.” Michael stated. “You fucking left Lily at a goddamn crime scene and here you are, walking in, as if everything is normal. Do you know how upset you just made her?” Still turned away, I heard Trevor’s voice.

“Yeah, I’m here to talk to her about it.” I started drinking from the milkshake again. Trevor called out to me,

“Lily?” His voice was confident and strong. I kept my focus on the other direction, ignoring him.

“Lily.” It came out stern, almost agitated. I focused on my milkshake. 

“Hey kiddo, you should talk to him. He can’t read your mind.” Michael’s voice rang through, I nodded gently and stood up.

“Yo, we gonna be right here, when you get back. If anything goes south, just yell.” 

“Thanks Franklin.” I sent him a small smile as I followed Trevor to Michael’s backyard. Walking outside, it made me realize how nice Michael’s place was. There was lots of room for activities. Trevor brought me back to reality,

“Listen about what happened…” I frowned. It had happened only a few hours ago, I honestly didn’t want to talk about it, but Michael had a point. This might be the only time I would be able to talk to Trevor about it. He was so sporadic in his thinking that he might not treat it as seriously later. 

“I-i-i-it’s hard to explain when I get like that okay? I was furious, so fucking mad, what that fucking stupid whore called you and I just fucking lost it. I was pushing you away because I didn’t want to take it out on you and hurt you. I know you and Floyd were friends or whatever the fuck, but he tried to fucking stab me. His fucking whore almost shot me, I’m lucky I didn’t get hurt. I mean it wouldn’t have fucking mattered, but still I was defending myself and I was defending you. A-a-a-a-a-and when this type of shit happens, I usually shut down and have a fucking outlet, but this fucking time I couldn’t, because I knew it would hurt you. You have no idea what the fuck I felt in that moment and even right fuckin’ now. I-the-fuck!” He paced around in uneven steps, and kept stopping to look back at me. Finally he was able to form words again and continued,

“You might not know this, but this whole thing, the drugs, the alcohol, and the violence? That’s a fucking life style for me. That’s who I am, and you fuckin’ know that. I know that you know that, which is why I’m so fucking attracted to you. You get me. I mean today you had no fuckin’ clue but fuck today. With you telling Michael off, then yo-you-you-you trying to step in and take over the situation and THEN you trying to be nice and care for me; you have no idea what that does to a man! It was so fucking hot, with the confidence an-an-and everything. You have no idea how much strength it took, to not just fuck you in that kitchen with their dead bodies still on the fuckin’ floor. I wanted to take you right then and there, but I know you have values and morals and would have been extremely against it. So I controlled myself for you. Now that doesn’t mean, if in the future, you change your mind and after a- uh- another violent event happens, you want to get busy, I ain’t gonna say no.” I let him finish; he stood in front of me, hands on his chest motioning to himself.  _ He has little to no control, so… what an interesting insight into the life and crazy mind of Trevor.  _ I sighed.

“Look, I’m sorry. I-I-I didn’t want you to get hurt and I didn’t want to do anything that would offend you or make you hate me. I’m sorry I treated you like that and left you there.” He opened his arms up, waiting for a hug. I stood silently, before speaking,

“Listen, that crazy bitch shouldn’t have pulled the gun, but we most definitely should have left way earlier than what we did. Now I understand Floyd verbally abused you, but you had also been seriously abusing him verbally and physically. He was at his breaking point. Next time, please think before you speak.” I went and returned his hug. “I can’t forgive you yet, just give me some time on that okay?” He hugged me tightly.

“Yeah, yeah. Makes sense, you’re the normal one out of the two of us. Well three of us.” 

“Trevor, we don’t even know if I’m pregnant. But I mean when you fly, you’re normal.”

“What?” Trevor pulled away, his face was in a mist of confusion. “What do you mean by that?”  _ Ah fuck.  _

“That… came out wrong… let me explain.” I stuttered, attempting to reform my thoughts into words. I cleared my throat, starting again,

“I… uh- was just noticing that when you fly… you know what, maybe I won’t-just fuckin’ ignore me. Pretend I said nothing…” My entire face felt like it was on fire, I was so embarrassed by my own stupidity that looking at Trevor, was not an option.

“No, tell me. I want to know.” His voice was deep, almost like he was trying to more to seduce than convince me to tell him. 

“N-nah. We can save that conversation for a-another day.” 

“Fine, but,” He wrapped his arms around me, “I will remember to ask.” 

“Hey! We gotta go!” I turned my head to see Michael calling out of the door. Franklin looking frustrated behind him. 

“Why?” Trevor’s tone was almost whiny. 

“Cause those two fuckers have another thing for us to do, and they said bring Lily.” Trevor and I groaned at he same time that explains Franklin’s attitude.

 

_ All these fuckers do is waste my time _ .

 

“And that’s what we’re gonna do. Easy peasy?” All four of stood in front of Steve and Dave as if they each had three heads. 

“Easy peasy? That’s fuckin’ stupid.” Michael stated flatly. 

“How the fuck, in any way would that work?” Trevor questioned.

“You just sending us into a death trap, practically gonna drop a whole fuckin’ buildin’ on us. Seems the only one that’s easy for you.” Franklin commented. 

“Ladies, ladies! This is a high ranked mission! It’ll work out.” Steve attempted to comfort us, but all of us pretty much thought he was an idiot.

“I think you just want Lily to play dress up so that you can try and get some alone time. I’m going to fuckin’ remind you one more fuckin’ time; she’s taken.” Trevor tried to contain his anger but through his grit teeth, it just sounded more threatening. Steve waved him off and continued,

“Whatever, we have a job for you guys to do, so just make it happen.” Steve and Dave stood up to leave, but suddenly stopped and Steve turned to me,

“Oh yeah, Lily, you need to come with us. Gotta do a little prep work.”  _ Gag.  _

“What?!” Michael and Trevor yelled and stood up in unison. It was my turn to wave them off,

“Let’s just get this shit over with.” Michael quickly stopped me,

“Hey, he does anything to you, you let me fuckin’ know alright?” I smiled and nodded. Trevor’s hand had been tightly gripping my thigh and as I stood, he reluctantly let go. I walked with Steve and Dave back to their vehicle. Dave opened the passenger door for me  _ How kind.  _

“Thank you.” I said with an unsure tone. As I got in, he closed the door. When Dave entered, Steve began to drive away.

“Alright, now some prep work.”  _ Ugh.  _ “We have to make you look the part, you have to look professional, and sexy.” He put emphasis on the last word, almost making me cringe.

“I thought you said I had to look like a secretary.”

“Yeah I did, but you also have to look nice. Not like some boring old hag like Weston’s assistant. She’s a piece of work.”

“You mean Molly? Yeah I could agree on that.”

“Oh, you met her?”

“Yeah, I also embarrassed her, so we’re cool.”

“Well that sucks.” I looked at Steve. 

“What do you mean?” I asked, curling a brow.

“Well… in order for you to look the part, I recruited her to help.”  _ Oh, you motherfucker. _

“Well, that sucks.” I groaned mentally. Molly and I certainly didn’t end on good terms, so seeing her again is going to be a trip.

 

_ Here we fucking go _ .

 

Molly stood in the store defiant and with a disgusted look at me as Steve informed her of the plan. She retorted with disdain in her voice,

“I think you’ve chosen a rather brash and somewhat brutish woman for this job. You could have other options if you just-” Steve interrupted her,

“Listen, we don’t need your opinion on who we should have gotten for the job. Just make her look professional and sexy, don’t make her look like you.” Steve practically spat the last few words. She looks slightly taken back, when she cleared her throat and said,

“Ms Phillips, if you’ll follow me.” 

“Shuore.” My sarcastic tone caused her to whip her head around and glare.

“If Agent Haines hadn’t picked you for this job, I’m sure you would be in a position than you are currently at.”

“No need to be jealous, just because you aren’t picked for every little thing people do.” She began to rummage through the many hangers of clothes.

“I am not jealous. I have many opportunities open for me through Mr. Weston alone. I’m 100% certain you can’t say the same.”

“Are you kidding? You know the people I’m stuck with. How’s that driving record by the way? Still 100%?” I smirked at her and held up a blouse. She looked at it and shook her head. I put it back as she spoke,

“I’ll have you know that the accident was your fault.”

“An accident is still an accident. Also it really wasn’t if I recall, which I do.” She held up a blue business jacket. I shook my head at it as she retorted,

“Accidents happen everyday, insurance companies understand that in full.”

“Yeah if they don’t know that you’re committing insurance fraud, but you know, that ain’t my business either.” I put my hands up, almost as if defending myself. Molly frowned, continuing to glare at me,

“I informed the company of what happened and even if I had to tell them of the story in my perspective and not that of the legal law, all is well.”

“Yeah, but aren’t you a lawyer or something? Aren’t you supposed to more professional so that your employer doesn’t have to the lack of your work has caused illegal activities to take place in your employment. I mean, I’m not judging anyone here; I’m just saying that if I was your employer, I would be very worried about how my employee was representing themselves and my company on a day to day basis. Which, in this case includes the insurance fraud.” She looked at me with disdain as she held up another jacket.

“Okay, get the hint, jackets aren’t going to work.” She groaned as she spoke,

“How about you choose an outfit, and I’ll choose an outfit. Then we can see whose is better?”

“Done and done, because you got shit tastes.” She scowled at me, as I moved to a different rack. I yelled in Steve’s direction.

“Steve, is this business casual or professional; like how professional?” 

“I’ll let you get away with your outfit if I think it’s nice enough, but keep it professional.”

“Done, done.” I said, as I picked out a couple articles of clothing. 

 

_ Hopefully I can at least do this.  _

 

“Yeah, we’re going to go with Lily’s look.” Dave said. 

“I’m just looking into your best interests. You can’t be seriously thinking of her looking like… like that?” Molly argued. A crude and weak attempt of an argument.

“Sucks to suck.” She turned towards me quickly, shooting daggers at me. I grinned as I quickly went back into change. Molly had originally chosen another suit; pants, jacket and a professional looking blouse, but it was too stiff, and forced. I had chosen a soft grey sweater dress, black leggings, and flats. Less on the professional side, but I certainly did look like Steve’s assistant. 

“Listen, I said something professional and sexy and all you went with was your look, which is blah.” Steve commented.  _ Well, certainly don’t need a compliment from that dude.  _ Another voice rang out,

“Why hello again.” In came Devin Weston, a man who I could safely describe as a douche canoe. “I believe we’ve met before but not officially.” Devin walked over to me, in a pure black suit. 

“Devin Weston. Billionaire. And you are?”

“Her name is Lily Phillips No relation to Mr. Philips, your associate.” Devin snapped his head towards Molly and stated,

“Don’t think I asked you the question, but good to know you’re still on top of things. Now, where were we?”

“Weston, I got this one for a special mission, no relations allowed at the moment.” Steve walked up, almost challenging him by straightening his back and broadening his shoulders.

“Alright, alright. Wouldn’t want to interfere with your work.”

“That would be much appreciated.” Steve said with a terse tone.

“Well, gotta run. See you later Lily.” Weston waved at us as we walked out the store. I turned to Steve and Dave,

“I’m guessing we’re done here?” Steve replied quickly,

“Yep, keep the clothes on, we’ll pay for it up front. Let’s go. See ya Molly.” Molly remained silent as I went past her. She seemed rather upset for someone who held herself as professional.

As we left the store, Dave’s phone went off. He quickly answered and hung up, relaying to us,

“They’re in position. Let’s go in.” Steve nodded in agreement.

 

_ Let’s get this show on the road. _

 

I stood behind Steve in the elevator, heading up to one of the upper floors in the FIB building. Steve had told me to ‘play it cool’ as we walked in. He gave me something to hold as we walked around. The cubicles, and rooms themselves looked sophisticated, almost empty with the lack of decor. As we entered Steve’s office, he grabbed a chair, placing it next to him. As he sat down, he motioned me to sit.

“Now, we have to get you comfortable in the office, but here are the rules.”  _ Why tell me now? Why not in the car?  _ “First, you need to stay as close to my side as possible. The moment you get away from me, then that’s where things go south. People are going to suspect things, and we can’t have idiots around here turning those gears in their heads. Second, you’re brand new; so people are going to be curious with you. Act professional and friendly. You can’t act like a bitch here, so behave.” I rolled my eyes at the statement. “Yeah, that shit, gotta stop. Anyways, later this evening, we are going to be going out, as a celebration for your hiring.”

“Wait, I thought this was a one time thing?”  _ God-damn what did he get me into?  _

“Well, we need you to pretend you actually work here normally. So you’ll have to be coming in a lot more.”

“So you’re giving me a job, but not paying me?”

“I mean, yeah I have to pay you. They’re going to be suspicious if you’re not on the payroll. That’s definitely something I don’t have command of. I hired you directly, and gave your paperwork to HR so you’re already in the system. Now, you will have to be running around the office a lot, but minimize interactions.”

“You just said to stay close to you.”

“Yes and I’m seeing flaws as I speak. There’s always room for adaption.”  _ This one is an idiot, but at least he’s quick to make corrections. He reminds of Trevor a little bit with how quick he is to calculate possible errors.  _ “Now, for your first mission, we’re going to have to introduce you to the rest of the office.”  _ What?  _

“Are you for real?”

“Yes, it’s protocol.” I sighed.

“Okay, okay.” 

 

_ If a day could suck anymore. _


	9. Life Getting A Little Harder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lily and Michael talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Hope all is well with all of you! Since I'm on break I'm in between posting all of the chapters I currently have written or keeping it to once a week. Let me know what you guys would prefer!  
> Thank you for reading and let me know what you think as well!

 With a long day ending, Steve drove me away from the FIB building. I had to meet and speak with way too many people who were far more capable at their jobs and then some, than Steve was. Even though he was getting crap left and right for his work, he was also getting praise; he was organized, efficient, and seemed to have no flaws in his office work. His facial features would relax as he focused on document after document; every so often he would hand me a piece to check for perfection in grammar, punctuation and the like. He very rarely made errors; it was quite impressive to see, this different side of him. I guess when it came to field work, there were too many holes to fill and fix.

“Now the plan will be put into action. Better hope they don’t fuck this up.” Steve said in a low tone.

“ _You_ better hope they don’t fuck this up. If I’m correct, you’re ass is more on the line than theirs.” Steve continued to carry the frown on his face as we drove on.

“By the way,” I started, “Where are we going?” Steve cleared his throat and then answered,

“We’re heading to my place.” I looked at him, furrowed my brows and then questioned,

“Why?”

“Why not? We need to celebrate your employment.”

“Truth, But you’re my superior. Isn’t that inappropriate, at the most unprofessional?” Steve sat in thought, a perplexed look on his face.

“It’s not... but let me ask you this; is there a reason why you would choose to actually date Trevor? I mean there really is nothing great about him. Why go out with that psychopath? It literally makes no sense for you to date your kidnapper?” I narrowed my eyes at him.

“It almost seems like you want me to date you though and you also kidnapped me.”

“Yeah but I wasn’t the initial kidnapper so it doesn’t count.”

“How does that make any sense? If Dave slaps you in the face and then I slap you, does that mean my slap doesn’t count as a slap? I mean I didn’t initially do it.”

“Those are two different things.”

“No, they’re the same thing.” Silence fell between us until Steve spoke,

“Let me start over.”

“Okay?”

“I would like to celebrate your employment, but I would be lying if I said that I had no interest in you. You’re a beautiful, intelligent and strong woman, who got out of zipties, hotwired a government vehicle and took out three people all at the same time. You also traveled two states over and three north. You have amazing skills in getting yourself out of troubled situations; which we noticed on your first mission with the three amigos. I’m blown away, call me impressed, by your skills in this field.” I sat silently as he continued to speak, “Knowing that you’re with Philips on your own free will, knowing he’s a psychopath who on the daily kills people, does all kinds of drugs, and god knows what else… I want to pull you out of that before he brings you down with him. You have a future, you could have a future with the FIB or the medical field you wanted to go into. I can make that happen, easy, whether we are together or not. I wanna focus on bringing up someone who has potential, not waste it on that fucking psycho.” I was stunned by his actual response. He is exactly the same as Trevor, he’s just more functional, and in a higher position of power. Just his tone alone, monotone as if attempting to remain neutral in complementing me was clearly a show for manipulation. I had to think of my next words, he wasn’t easily controlled by his emotions like Trevor, rather he was cool and calculating. We had a lot of similarities, but while Trevor and I could get things done, Steve could not; probably why he was making the other three help him in the first place.

“I appreciate you saying that and doing this for me, but I can handle myself decently well. Without the need for manipulation.” I kept my response short. I knew he was going to understand my words a bit more than Trevor.

“What are you accusing me?”

“Do you think I was born yesterday? Do you think I’m some weak damsel in distress who needs constant saving? Or a woman who isn’t trained as a police officer and firefighter? So which demeaning female stereotype am I to you? I’d like to hear it.” Steve fell silent, his face beat red in embarrassment. Several times he began to speak, but stopped. He coughed, and began,

“I’m not manipulating you. I’m just- let’s just celebrate your employment, and I’ll invite Dave if that makes you feel better.”

“Sure, but I get to talk to him on the phone.”

“I hardly think that’s necessary.”

“You told Dave you were going to tell Michael and the others it was a six person job, but you didn’t. So, I’m talking to Dave.” He sighed heavily in defeat, handing me his phone in the process.

_Hopefully Dave won’t try anything stupid._

* * *

 

Four hours later and Dave and I were watching Steve embarrass himself through his attempts to impress me. He had done six shots by himself and in an effort to seem cool, shot a hole in his wall. Now he was babbling nonsense about his accomplishments. I wasn’t quite sure what they were, maybe saving some kid’s life, as the slurring of his words made him very difficult to understand.

“Annnnd anywaaays, that’s how I, did theee thing.” He downed another shot, as Dave and I looked at each other in disgust. Dave’s phone rang, prompting him to quickly get up and walk away. I sighed, nodding as Steve started another story, trying to make me more engaged as he asked questions.

“D-d-do you know, what IIIII did?”

“No?”

“Guess.”

“What?” I coughed attempting to stop a laughing from clearing my throat. Dave quickly came by,

“Lily, let’s go. We have to go meet the guys. Steve, go to bed.” I stood up quickly to leave, but a large hand grasped my wrist, weakly gripping it.

“I’m… not done… wiiiith my story… here. Lily, and I…. are in the middle of a conversation.” His whole body swayed back and forth as he attempted to keep his grip on me. Dave quickly moved in between us, forced Steve’s hand away from my own and quickly said,

“We don’t have time for you to be pulling this crap. Someone is injured and we need to get there ASAP. You can stay here until you sober up.” Dave turned around, pushed me towards the door and slammed it as soon as we got outside.

“Let’s go. We’re in a bit of a rush.” Dave rushed me to the car, quickly taking off as we entered and buckled in. He spoke quickly to fill me in on the situation,

“They were able to get into the building just fine, but there was an explosion shortly after. That explosion knocked Clinton out, and then shortly after they were all shot at. Philips got hit during the fire fight, but everyone else is unharmed. We need you to give Philips first aid and ensure Clinton doesn’t have a concussion.” I could feel my body getting ready for the oncoming scene.

“Call them.” Dave quickly complied. Michael’s voice rang through the phone,

“Where the fuck are you guys?” I put my hand up to silence Dave and began to speak.

“Michael, we’re on our way right now. I need you to put me on speaker so everyone can hear me and I need you guys to follow my instructions until I get there.”

“Okay… go for it, we can all hear you.” I took a deep breath and began to speak again,

“Michael, describe Trevor’s injuries.”

“He’s got a single gunshot wound in his arm.”

“Describe the bleeding.”

“It’s just pouring out, we’re applying pressure.”

“Where on his arm?”

“His bicep.” _Fuck._

“Okay, continue to apply pressure until I get there. If need be, covering the wound with something, place your knee on top of that and use your body weight to apply pressure over all. Now pass me to Franklin.” Franklin’s voice rang through,

“What’s up Lil’? What you want me to do?”

“I need you to answer some questions for me. I can’t fully determine whether or not you got a concussion from the explosion without the proper equipment, but there are standard questions that doctors go through. I don’t know everything about you, so make sure you have your ID out and ready but don’t look at it okay?”

“Okay. Shoot, I’m ready.”

“Alright let’s start with your name.”

“Franklin Clinton.”

“What year were you born in?”

“1988.”

“What year is it now?”

“2013.”

“What city are you in?”

“Los Santos, San Andreas.”

“Occupation?”

“Ain’t got one, unless you count what we doin’ here.”

“You’re doing good Franklin. Tell me the name of the two men who are with you right, full names if you can.”

“Michael De Santa and Trevor Philips.”

“Good, good. Tell me what you remember before you were hurt.”

“We went through the building dressed as firefighters, we were able to get to the top. But the building started to come down, so getting back down was really difficult. There was an explosion, I fell forward, there was a short ringing in my ears. Ummm… and then I got up and tried to catch up with the others.” I looked at Dave, who nodded quickly.

“We’re almost there, so be patient. You’ll still have to go to the doctor to get checked out but we’re coming right to you to help with any immediate injuries. Hand me back to Michael.” Michael’s strained voice came through,

“Hello?”

“Hey, tell me how it’s going?” I heard Trevor yell,

“How do you think it’s going? You got tubby here on my fuckin’ arm and it hurts like shit.” I stifled a laugh,

“It has too. Michael, have Franklin check for a pulse for Trevor’s arm that you’re on.” I heard Michael call out to Franklin who replied,

“It’s really weak.”

“Good, the weaker the better. We want to cut off circulation completely, but that will have to do.” I took a breath. “Trevor, I just need you to relax. Do you feel cold or light headed?” The line fell silent as Trevor said,

“Well… I… don’t… know?”

“What do you mean?” Dave came to a gentle halt. I quickly hung up, and jumped out of the car. The scene in front of me was a cluster fuck. Trevor was laying down on the ground, and Michael had both of his knees on Trevor’s arm. Blood surrounded the both of them. In silence, I watched Franklin take Trevor’s pulse again.

“It’s still weak, Lily.” Franklin said to me. He looked at me, a confused look had spread across my face as I nodded slowly. I slowly walked over to Franklin, retaking the pulse. It certainly was weak.

“Lily, what do we do? Are you okay?” I made popping noises with my mouth and nodded.

“You… You want to do something? You want to help?” Michael asked with a sarcastic tone. With a smug smile on my face, I replied,

“I’d like to. Buuuut, I’m not the one with the med kit.”

“Oh so this is my fault.” A voice behind Franklin said. I clicked my tongue a few times.

“Well, I can’t really say. You heard me saying I was going to be here, and if you’re the one with the med kit and clutching it like a bible to your chest, then I can’t really do anything huh?”

“This ain’t the time to act like fuckin’ children.” Trevor spat. Ron looked at me with a glare. He tossed the med kit to me. I caught it, opening it quickly to work on Trevor’s arm.

“Always getting me in trouble.” Ron mumbled under his breath.

“Says the one who wouldn’t give me the fuckin’ med kit.” I had Michael move, keeping pressure on Trevor’s arm. I moved the cloth, seeing the bullet hole.

“Do you know if there’s an exit wound?” I asked. Everyone went silent. I nodded and looked at Trevor,

“Sorry, Trev. This is gonna hurt, a ton.”

“What are you-” A loud screech escaped from Trevor’s lips as I put one of my fingers in his bullet wound. My finger stopped on the end of a bullet.

“Great news, you have the bullet in your arm.”

“Bad news?” Trevor said in a strained voice. I looked at Franklin,

“Franklin open up the med kit, grab the gauze and completely unwrap it. Then hand me one end.” Franklin snapped open the kit.

“What are you… what are you going to do?” Franklin handed me one end of the gauze, I stopped and told Trevor,

“This is going to suck. That’s the bad news.” I quickly removed one finger and placed my gauze covered finger into the wound.

“Ahhhhhh, this feels terrible.” Trevor complained.

“I did say it was going to suck.” I continued to push gauze into his wound.

“Can’t you do it a different way? He’s in a lot of pain.” Ron whined loudly.

“Do you want him to stop bleeding?” There was some frustration in my voice.

“Y-yes…” Ron stuttered.

“Then shut the fuck up.” Ron scowled at me as I continued to work. I began to wrap Trevor’s wound and said,

“You’ll have to go to an actual doctor for the rest Trev. Sorry I can’t do much for you guys.” Trevor breathed heavily, fists clenched, as I turned to Ron,

“What are you even doing here?”

“Why are you?”

“I was called in to help.”

“So was I.”

“That’s bullshit.” Michael said in a strained voice as he stood up. “He called Trevor, Trevor said he was injured, and Ron complained like a bitch and came out here to bug the shit out of us.” I raised a brow at Ron who with a beet red face looked at the ground. Trevor slowly sat up,

“Ron. Take me back to Sandy Shores. At least there, they won’t suspect us as patients.”

“Lemme head back with ya.” Franklin said as Trevor nodded his head. Ron opened the passenger door for Trevor, when Trevor stopped and called out,

“Lily, meet us at the trailer.” I answered,

“Alright.” I turned towards Michael,

“Shall we got meet our idiots?” Michael laughed,

“Might as fuckin’ well.”

 

_Oh gosh, here we go._

* * *

 

After hearing about the successful mission, Michael began to talk about his past.

“Listen, this is some complicated shit and it’ll be a bit difficult for you to understand…”

“Okay?”

“I mean, when you have a family of your own, I’m sure you’ll completely understand the situation I was in and why I did what I did.” I nodded as Michael looked forward, driving on.

“This is really hard to explain so please don’t say anything until the end.”

“Okay.” I replied. Michael, nervousness in his tone, began,

“About a decade ago, Trevor and I ran together. We did bank robberies, anything we could get our hands on. We were also running with another guy, Brad. I didn’t really like Brad, but that doesn’t matter. What matters is, is that one day, we went on this job. We held up a bank, things did go as planned. There was supposed to be no casualties and there were way too many to  count. I made a deal with the FIB, which is why they’re bothering me now, in the form of an unofficial witness protection program. The deal was, Trevor and I were supposed to get shot. Trevor was supposed to die, and I was supposed to fake my death. Brad ended up getting in the way of that shot, killing Brad who is now six feet under, feeding the worms in my place. Trevor doesn’t know that… and I’m having the hardest time, trying to bring it up or even mention it. I thought about what you said, and having to be honest with the people I care about. I messed up with my family, they all but up and left me. But Trevor… Trevor I still have a chance. I want to be honest with him, but I also know that he’s going to kill me or worst. I don’t fuckin’ know. I just… I just want this thing off my chest and I feel as if I can ask that of you.” I soaked in everything he had just told me, nodding in that I heard him.

“What would you want me to do?”

“I…” He paused. “I need you to help me keep him calm, maybe even control him. I don’t fuckin’ know.” I looked at Michael.

“You telling me this… no matter what, you can’t turn back now. If Trevor finds out that you told me this, and I didn’t immediately tell him… I can’t even imagine what would happen to me, let alone you. No matter what, you are going to have to take in his fury, his hurt, betrayal and loss. You will have a lot to answer for. But I’m going to tell you this. Don’t let Trevor be the one to ask you what happened. It will look a lot worst if he asks you, rather than if you tell him. Answer any questions that he has, I can try and keep him quiet for you to finish everything, but… I’m going to need you to know that I can’t do everything. No matter what, your relationship with Trevor is going to fucking crack, big time. You need to be ready for anything that he might say to you. Okay? Reassure him that he can ask any questions he wants, that he has a right to be angry. The decisions you made effected him greatly, and communication was greatly needed on your side; you need to understand where you made your mistakes. I know, you want to say that you were doing it for your family because you have a family, but… it makes it sound like you’re using your family as an excuse to betray people. There is no reason for you to betray people. You can frame this whole thing as being in the wrong state of mind, panicking and making all the wrong decisions at once. This whole thing is largely your fault, so I think Trevor would appreciate it more if you were straight forward and took responsibility for your actions. You have a family to protect- well had, but you need to understand that Trevor’s view on this lifestyle is that it’s an outlet, he has nothing else to turn to. No career paths waiting for him like you do. So understand this when I say it, that you need to be supportive of every decision that he makes. He’s upset with you, fine that’s okay. He hates you, yep that’s alright too. He wants to kill you, normal symptom but we don’t want him to act on it. He is going to be incredibly unstable, so you need to lay ground rules before the talk okay?” Michael sat in silence, nodded and then said,

“Ha-have you ever been betrayed?” I thought about it.

“Yes. Yes I have. And it hurt so bad that I promised who ever did that to me again, I would hurt them, just as bad as it hurt me.” I placed my hand on Michael’s shoulder. “Listen. You guys will get through this.” Michael stopped directly in front of the Trevor’s trailer.

“Come on, let’s go in and wait.” Michael nodded solemnly.

 

_Oh fuck did my life get harder._


	10. A Fight to Remember

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning! This is a rather serious chapter~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! There is a trigger warning on this chapter!!!  
> Please let me know what you guys think of this one!  
> Please look at the end notes for the specifics of the trigger warning.

Michael and I sat quietly in Trevor’s trailer. I had updated him on the whole Steve thing, to which he made a look of disgust and anger.

“Fucker, I knew he’d try.” I tried to laugh,

“Yeah, well all attempts are futile. He’s kind of an asshole.”

“No, he is an asshole.” Michael spat. I laughed at the statement. I sighed deeply. It still felt so strange being back in Trevor’s trailer.

“T! Trevor!” Ron’s voice called out as he busted through the front door. I raised my brow as Ron looked around, his face contorting into disgust as his eyes fell onto us.

“Hi Ron.” I said simply.

“Oh hey, where’s Trevor?” Ron continued to look around as if he would appear out of nowhere.

“He’s in the hospital. Had a bit of an accident.” Michael stated with an irritated tone.

“I see, so why are you two here?” Ron’s tone changed into sarcasm and frustration.

“Why are you here?” I questioned back.

“I work with Trevor unlike you.” I gestured around the room,

“I just worked with him!”

“Sure you did, but I’m far more loyal. At least _I_ didn’t get Trevor hurt.” He spat. I could feel irritation run through me as my brow twitched. _Oh you wanna play this way._

“Well at least I’m not useless unlike someone I know who can’t even seem to get work done for Trevor.” Ron’s face turned a deep shade of red and angrily spouted,

“What would you know?! You don’t even know how hard I work!”

“You don’t either!” I shouted back. Ron took a step forward as I stood up from the futon.

“I know for a fact that Trevor spoils you and allows you to sit around doing nothing as he does all of the work! As _I_ do all the work!”

“You fucker, I was doing all the work while you were demanding coffee every couple seconds.”

“ _You_ were the one who made me want the coffee.”

“I can’t help if you’re addicted to caffeine, that wasn’t my fuckin’ fault. Anyways, I think it stands for itself that you don’t know what the fuck you’re doing!”

“I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing?! You don’t know what the fuck you’re doing!” Ron and I continued to shout at each other, Michael trying to stop us from fighting until a loud booming voice came between us.

“Both of you need to shut the fuck up!” Both of us, red in the face, glared at each other and then at the voice. Trevor stood with his arm in sling, and Franklin behind him. “Fuckin’ children! What the fuck are you two arguing about now?!” Ron and I fell silent, but remained staring at Trevor. “Fuck! Can’t do anything without you two at each other’s throats. God fucking damn.” Trevor pushed past us and sat down on the futon, with Franklin following behind, shaking his head in disapproval. Trevor groaned as he relaxed against the back, Michael joining him. Michael’s leg bounced up and down frantically. _This is it._

“Hey Frank. Do you mind taking a walk with… Ron? I gotta talk to Lily and Trevor.” Michael’s confident voice cracked. Franklin raised a brow at Michael while Ron immediately said defensively,

“Why do I have to leave?”

“Enough with the fucking arguments. This better be goddamn important for you to kick people out.” Trevor stated. He motioned for both of them to leave. I quickly stopped Franklin as Ron left the trailer.

“Franklin, real quick.” I stepped backwards towards a cabinet, opening it, and reaching for a water balloon. Placing it quickly in Franklin’s hands. I could hear an exasperated sigh from both Michael and Trevor as I spoke,

“If he misbehaves, this should help.” Franklin laughed and shook his head.

“Aight, but I’ll tell him it’s from you.” I nodded with a smile.

As soon as the door closed, Michael inhaled deeply. I sat down next to Trevor quietly. His breath shook as he exhaled.

“Listen… Trevor.”

“This better be fucking important. I’m in a lot of fucking pain and I didn’t get any god damn good painkillers.” _Oh?_ “Apparently I was misbehaving, so I only got some weak ass tylenol.” _Oh that sucks…_

“Maybe, I should do this a different time.”

“You’re already wasting my fucking time and I already had Frank and Ron leave. Just fucking tell me.” Trevor’s irritated tone, rang out. I quickly stood, walked over to Michael. Hopefully just standing there would be good enough.

“Trevor…”

“Michael…” Trevor mimicked. Michael sighed.

“I… have something to tell you… about what happened in North Yankton. 10 years ago.” Trevor grew quiet, shifting in his seat, full attention on Michael. I felt Michael’s hand grasp mine as I continued to watch Trevor. “I told Lily, and I asked her to help me tell you.”

“When-what? What are you saying?” Trevor questioned, hurting rising in his voice.

“He told me just on the car ride here. I suggested and pushed very hard for him to tell you as soon as possible.” I said gently. Trevor nodded quietly. His face was unsure, almost trying to become a poker face. Michael sighed and started again.

“I… I fucked up big in North Yankton…” Trevor’s facial expression change, completely hurt and bewildered as Michael continued. “I’ve made a lot of mistakes, I’m not perfect. I thought what I was doing was the right decision, for me… for my family. It wasn’t. Ummm…” Michael’s anxiety grew in his voice and he squeezed my hand. I squeezed back. “I…” He choked and Trevor spoke.

“What… the fuck did you do?” Trevor quickly stood up. “I… I knew there was something wrong with that bank job.” He seethed. “Just tell me what the fuck you did!” Trevor roared at the top of his lungs. I squeezed Michael’s hand tightly, fear running up and down my spine.

“I got Brad killed!” Michael announced. _AH, FUCK._ Trevor’s entire face fell. In shock and disbelief he looked down on the ground, almost as if connecting dots that were there but he never thought were related. Michael attempted to speak,

“I realize I made a mistake. I’ve been paying for it, for 10 years! I… I didn’t know how to tell you!” Trevor looked at me and then Michael, before quickly grabbing both of wrists, pulling us apart. Trevor dragged me to the front door.

“Don’t touch her, you treacherous piece of shit! You’ve been paying for it?! What about me!? Do you have any idea what I’ve gone through?! I mourned you!” Trevor’s voice tore into a  frustrated cry. “You…” He pointed a long finger at Michael. “You… tried to drag down Lily with you. You fucking fuck! You fucking tried to make her take the fall! You took advantage of her you mother fucker! I…” He paused, letting go of my hand and grabbed his head. “I can’t believe you… I have to see it for myself.” Before I could speak, with Michael calling out to him, Trevor walked out quickly. A loud screech coming from a vehicle before speeding off as Michael and I both raced out.

_Oh, shit._

* * *

 

Michael quickly ran towards his vehicle, quickly yelling,

“He’s going up to North Yankton, I’m going to meet him there! I need you to wait here!”

“Michael, wait!” I attempted to call out of him, but similar to Trevor, he sped off. I stood in front of the trailer as both Ron and Franklin ran up.

“What’s going on?” Franklin asked.

“Michael confessed something huge to Trevor, and he took it terribly! They’re both on their way to North Yankton.” Franklin swore, as he pulled out his phone.

“Yeah, can I get a car at Sandy Shores? Thanks.” He hung up, looking at me and said,

“I’m going to try and see if I can cut Michael off. Low chance, but damn gotta try.” He ran down the steps, leaving Ron and I alone. We watched him get into a taxi that sped quickly up to the front, and then speed off. We glanced at each other as Ron’s phone rang. He quickly picked up,

“Trevor?” I waved at Ron, motioning to put it on speaker, which he quickly did.

“Hey, I’m taking one of the planes.”

“Is everything okay man?” Ron attempted to sound not so concerned, he was failing greatly.

“Everything is not okay! Nothing has ever been okay!” Ron and I exchanged worried look as we continued to listen. “But I gotta see it for myself. I’m going to see an old friend, alright? If you’re where I think you are buddy…I don’t know why I didn’t see it. I guess… I guess I didn’t want to. Fuck! Maybe I knew all along… I’m going to find out for sure and I’m going to do something about it. There was always something wrong with that job. What went down after, I guess I wanted to believe the fucking, fucking flea circus. Idiot, idiot, idiot!” His voice cracked terribly, I could hear him start to cry on the other side of the line.

“Trevor-” Hearing my voice, I stopped. It was weak, almost as if I was going to cry myself. “Trevor, listen to me.”

“Lily, please. I… I have something I gotta do. I need you… to just stay there, okay? P-please. Please don’t leave me. I… I need you.” He sounded the same as the day that Patricia left. A weak “okay” passed my lips. So quiet, I didn’t even know if he heard. A few moments later, the dial tone rang through, leaving Ron and I in stunned silence.

_That went to shit real quick._

* * *

 

Several days had passed, with no word from Michael, or Trevor. Franklin had called Ron for all of two seconds to ask about Trevor, but he received the same answer I did. I sat on the trailer porch on one of the lawn chairs, I hadn’t exactly moved. Initially Ron began to blame me, but when I didn’t respond to his verbal assault, he just left. I couldn’t even remember what he said. I had possibly sent Michael to his death, and Trevor would kill himself from a psychotic break. Technically, until I heard something, I had just killed two people. Everytime a vehicle passed by, I raised my head, until noticing it wasn’t either of two before placing it back down. Ron had come by a few times, but got irritated when I refused to speak, so he just left again.

This was a huge deal to both of them, and I felt like I had downplayed it considerable. This could have gone a completely different way if I had only thought completely through what to say and do. A large plate of food was shoved in front of me.

“Here, eat. Trevor will have my head if you don’t.” I looked away from it, it only made me feel nauseous. I pushed it away, scraping it against the plastic table it had been placed on. A frustrated sigh came out of Ron’s lips as I heard him leave. Little sleep came to me as the days passed. I would crash temporarily before waking up to another vehicle passing by. I felt no need to put any food in my stomach without the want of throwing up. I felt so terrible about what I had just done. Usually I was more careful than this, and here I was. Completely fucking up.

Ron had tried to talk to me a few times, but to no avail. Each time, he would leave in frustration after a few moments.

My head had been laying down on the table, watching a fly rub its tiny nubs on the food, when I heard a car pull up. I quickly stood up, and watched Trevor get out.

“Trevor.” I quickly ran to him, embracing him, only to be completely pushed away. I staggered back as I attempted to call out to him. I felt a hand on my arm, completely pull me back.

“Lily, when he’s like this, he could bash your head in and not know it. You need to give him space.” I turned to see Ron, who kept his eyes on Trevor, waiting for the door to slam before looking at me. “He will greatly regret it, if he hurts you. You can be depressed at my trailer, now let’s go.” The urgency in his voice allowed me to let him drag me over, sit me in a chair before seating himself and watching Trevor’s front door. We heard crashing, banging, and shrieking from the trailer. Trevor swore so loudly I thought all of the windows would break. His sobs tore through, and he begged and cried incoherently as we sat and listened. He cried out Ron’s name, who quickly responded,

“Coming Trevor!” I watched him race over, disappearing into the trailer. After a while, Trevor’s booming voice could be heard,

“I don’t give a FUCK! Go get her!” Ron walked backwards out the door, nodding and pale. He turned towards me, quickly motioning me to him. I ran over, and before I could ask him what was going on, he pushed me through the door. The entire trailer was a mess. Trevor had managed to pull some of the cabinets down, breaking dishes and some of the furniture. The puzzle that we had all worked on, laid scattered on the floor, some pieces were broke. The TV had been punched in and the door to his room, kicked down. In this mess sat Trevor, who rocked back and forth.

“Trevor?” I called out to him. He quickly stopped and stood up. He walked over to me with such speed, that I had to take a step back. I had no idea what was going on as he grabbed me and slightly lifted me up before carrying me a ways and throwing me onto his bed. His room looked even worse as the wardrobe had fallen completely over, and large holes were seen in the back. As I attempted to get up, he hovered over me, trapping me.

“Trevor?” His eyes were bloodshot as he looked me up and down, breathing heavily. He said nothing as he passed his hands over me. He rubbed my arms, groaning as he passed my breasts. I gently took his wrists,

“Trevor, stop.” We made eye contact before both of our hands were flailing; mine to make him let me go and his to grab both of my wrists. He managed to take hold of both of them, as I attempted to kick and flail my entire body, but to no avail. Removing his belt, he quickly wrapped both of my hands above my head and to the bedpost. Panicked surged through my body as I attempted to get through to him.

“Trevor! Stop! Let me go!” Trevor seemed to have zoned out as he continued to touch my body, a wicked smile crossing his face as his hands traveled lower. I then yelled,

“Ron! Help! R-” Trevor slapped a large hand over my mouth as my muffle screams tried to get through.

“Stay where you are Ron! If you fuckin’ do anything, I’ll make you regret it!” Trevor roared. He then looked at me, my eyes wide, tears beginning to stream down my face. “Now, I think you need a little bit a punishment, and I know just what to do.” I heard him start to pull down his pants as I continued my muffled screamed. He quickly removed his hand, moving quickly and forcing his cock into my mouth. I felt immediately suffocation as he shoved himself deeply into my throat.

“Don’t bite down baby. I don’t like it too rough.” A bitter taste came in contact with my tongue, and I gagged loudly as Trevor began to thrust his hips into me. “Oh… baby… keep doing that.” I could feel spit running down my chin as I choked. His grunts and groans were above me, as I continued to kick him.  He pulled out, leaving me coughing and continuing to gag. I had nothing into my stomach, so throwing up was going to be all stomach acid if it did come up. He quickly flipped me, my wrists crossing over one another. He pulled down my shorts, immediately groping my ass before spreading me apart. In one long stroke he licked me.

“Trevor! Stop it!” His hand covered my mouth again, his breath in my ear, and a thick, long finger entering me. I cried out in pain as he pumped in and out of me roughly, his voice in my ear,

“You… taste so fucking good. But since you misbehaving, I’m can’t do what I want.” He added a digit, pumping harder as he bit down onto my ear. I cried out again, muffled sobs and begging against his hand as he continued his assault. He breathed heavily into my ear,

“Fuck, you are so god damn tight. I-I know I’m going to cum so fucking hard in you.” I tried to shake my head as his fingernails dug into me.  

“I… don’t usually do this. But I need you… so fucking badly.” His voice and breath sent chills down my spine. I felt him remove his hand, and then a loud metal bang. Trevor’s entire presence left me. A loud thud was heard as I turned my head and saw Ron holding a frying pan. Tears streaking my face, he ran over, quickly cut the belt and said,

“I’ll pay for it later, but we need to go now.” I quickly pulled up my shorts and Ron quickly dragged me over Trevor’s  unconscious body and out the door. He pushed me into his truck and as he drove spoke,

“I’m going to take you to Franklin’s. I’ll deal with Trevor.”

“But… Trevor could really hurt you…” A confused tone in my voice.

“That… that doesn’t matter right now. He doesn’t know what he’s doing, he’s extremely high right now, and if he went any further, he wouldn’t be able to forgive himself. It’s already going to be hard, but at least this way, he can blame me too… and… and you don’t have to go through any of that. I’m sorry it took me so long, and I’m sorry for forcing you into that situation, when I should have just taken the hit. I was trying to figure out what would knock him. Stun guns do not work at all when he’s on the stuff, so that was my best idea and option.” I nodded quickly, remaining silent for a short time before letting out a small and quiet,

_“Thank you.”_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is rape in this chapter. Please do not read if this is an issue.


	11. A Time to Forget

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are pretty serious between Lily and Trevor.

Four days. Four days had passed and Franklin’s phone was continuing to ring as Trevor attempted to get through. He left angry voicemails, some in which were him crying, begging for forgiveness. I remained curled up in a ball for those days. Franklin was kind enough to let me stay in one of his spare rooms, and although I didn’t move or eat, Franklin did try to get me to do stuff. He even called a friend of his to ask for advice. Not sure what he was told, but he did give me space. It wasn’t until Ron had sent a text to his phone that he approached me, leaving the phone on the bed with the text up.

I was slow to read it, but became overwhelmed to learn that some of his fingers were broken, definitely an arm, one of his legs and he was covered in bruises. Trevor had beaten him to a complete pulp. His face had blown up like a balloon; his nose was broken and one of his eyes had sealed shut and his jaw had been completely dislocated. Part of his ear had been bit off and his hand had been stabbed. He was a mess after what Trevor had done to him. He had been in the ICU for three days from the extent of his injuries; all of the broken bones, and the external and internal bleeding left him in bad shape.

It was also on the fourth day, that I decided to go see Ron. He had saved me from a seriously traumatic event. I owed him more than a visit, but I was going to start with that. I, of course had to lie to get in, stated I was a relative of his.

When I first walked into his room, I was more than surprised to see him able to even breath. He had tubes going in and out of him, and he was practically one large cast. _How… did he send the text?_ Heavy footsteps behind me and a weak voice.

“Lily.” I quickly turned and backed up, seeing Trevor’s distraught face. He walked in with me. I looked at Ron, he was still knocked out.

“So-sorry I had to text from Ron’s phone… You weren’t coming for any of my texts… or calls. Also he is still under heavy surveillance… he hasn’t woken up yet.” Wide eyed, I looked back at Trevor.

“What do you want?” I felt anger surge through me. I needed to be firm with him.

“I want to talk… I want to apologize… I-I-I had no control over my actions and that’s no an excuse or a reason, bu-bu-but I was so broken over what happened, I can’t remember what I did to Ron. Everything came back to me… _sigh_ … I almost crushed his skull in. I was barely able to st-”

“That could have been me.” I stated clearly.

“What?”

“How Ron looks now? That could have been me! What you did to him, could have been me, if he hadn’t knocked you out and saved me! Do you have any idea what you’ve done? How this makes me feel or think? I don’t want to see you! I’m going to stay here with Ron, but I want you to leave! Now!” Angrily, I pushed past him, taking a seat next to Ron’s bedside.

“I didn’t fucking mean to! You aren’t listening!” Trevor tried to argue.

“I am listening, but I don’t give a shit! I’m going to wait for him to wake up, and you can wait for him at home. Then you can see how we felt waiting for you, how it felt when you came home, pushed me away and tried to fucking rape me! Get the fuck out of here!” I tried not to cry in front of me, immediately turning towards the corner of the room, not looking back until I heard a door gently shut without argument. I laid my hand on top of Ron’s.

_I’m going to wait right here until you wake up._

* * *

 

Ron remained in a comatose state for about a month. I visited everyday, Franklin sometimes in tow. Franklin was just as shocked as I was, seeing Ron for the first time. His face got a bit better, but he looked like an absolute disaster nonetheless. Strangely at the one month mark, Michael came back. He had a black eye, and a tired face. He hugged me as I cried, and squeezed me tighter in anger as I told him what happened. He stood in shock as he saw Ron.

“Fuck… Trevor did this?” I nodded solemnly before replying,

“And he hasn’t woken up yet.” I choked and Michael hugged me again, as I started to cry.

“This has to be a bad dream right? Trevor didn’t just try to rape me? He didn’t almost kill Ron? Please tell me this is a bad dream.”

“Sorry kid, it’s not.” He hugged me tightly. We stood, with my sobs echoing with the beeping of Ron’s machines in the room. I heard a quiet ‘tink’ against metal. I quickly looked around, to see the pulse oximeter on one of Ron’s fingers hitting the rails of his bed.

“Ron?” I let go of Michael, as he turned to face Ron. Ron slowly moved his finger to the rail, a small ‘tink’ emitting from it.

“Ron!” I quickly went to his side, as he slowly hit the rail over and over. I started to cry again, laughing as Michael called for a nurse.

 

Ron sat quietly as we filled him in over the last month. He couldn’t speak at all, but every so often he would hit the railing of the bed. We weren’t sure what it meant, but we would stop as soon as he did. His heartbeat would increase at the sound of Trevor’s name, to the point that we just didn’t talk about him.

Doctors told us that he would have to go through a lot of physical therapy, which he let out a groan of frustration and two hits to the rail.

It wasn’t until mid-way through the next month, Ron had gotten some movement into his fingers. I had brought a water balloon and stated,

“Alright, as we tried last week, you can’t squish stress balls or anything like that, so the next best thing is the water balloon. Don’t worry! It’s soft and if it’s explodes, well… it should be fine!” Ron was still unable to speak, his face still horribly swollen, but at least know he could kind of sit up. I placed the water balloon under his hand, and watched him try and squish it a few times.

“Hey, that’s better than last time!” I smiled. A single metal ‘tink’ was heard.

“You can move your fingers.” My face and heart dropped at the sound of Trevor’s voice. He looked terrible. His shirt covered in who knows what, his face looked disgusting, his remaining hair strands all over the place and his pants had holes all over. I stood up immediately,

“What do you want?” My stern voice spread shock across his face.

“I want to see my friend and girlfriend.” He attempted to sound innocent.

“Your friend? You just nearly beat him to death. And we are through. You tried to rape me. Also, you’re absolutely revolting. You need to wash up if you want to be in this room.” Trevor without a word, simply left. Ron and I looked at each other before going back to the water balloon.

“Bounce, bounce, bounce.” I attempted to encourage Ron. He groaned in mild pain. Heavy footsteps came back in. Trevor was now soaking wet.

“Great news, they have showers here at the hospital.” He had begun to dry himself with a towel.

“Trevor. You’re going to stress Ron out.” _Tink_ . “See? I know you want to see him, but right now, he’s barely stable enough to move the water balloon.” Trevor looked over Ron sadly. “I don’t know if you’re actually sorry for what you did to Ron, but the best thing to do, if you are, is to leave him alone right now. He’ll heal better if you leave him alone.” _Tink, tink, tink._ I turned towards Ron. He had a somewhat angry look on his face.

“What’s up Ron?” He attempted to close his fist to point. I quickly pointed to myself. “Me?” He wagged his finger and attempted to point again. “Him?” I pointed towards Trevor. _Tink._ Trevor moved, slowly, closer to Ron. He sat down in my seat as Trevor reached his hand out. Ron placed a finger onto his hand and started to move it. Curiously, we watched him spell something out, that I couldn’t tell but Trevor read aloud.

“ **For… Lily**? Huh?” He looked at Ron confused as Ron moved the water balloon towards Trevor, and as it hit the corner of the rail, it popped loudly and exploded water all over Trevor’s lap. Flabbergasted and confused, Trevor simply sat there with his mouth agape. I stood in amazement and began to laugh, tears streaming down my face, as Ron hit the metal as if in victory.

 

Under Michael’s strict supervision were Trevor and I allowed to talk. I originally didn’t want to give him the chance, he certainly didn’t deserve it, but I was practically begged to. Trevor had recently saved Michael’s life, and to give back to Trevor, speaking to me was suggested. I wasn’t exactly sure what Trevor did, but apparently a lot of shit went south. We sat outside of Ron’s room, Michael sitting next to me and Trevor in front of me. Trevor’s hands were clasped together tightly as we sat in silence. My arms crossed in front of me, and my knee bouncing up and down frantically. Trevor’s face was covered in a few more scars than when I last saw him, his facial features mirrored those of a person suffering from exhaustion. He had dark bags under his eyes, a frown practically engraved onto him and eyes red from what could be assumed from crying. His white shirt carried more stains and tears, his pants shared the same tattered look. Michael yawned loudly as I continued to look at Trevor with little change in my facial expression, remaining neutral and indifferent. I wasn’t sure if there was any more talking that needed to happen between us, and a piece of me no longer cared for him. I knew from the start this was relationship was doomed to fail, and as I continue to “go with the flow,’ it merely proved me right in the end.

“Lily…” Trevor’s hesitant voice reached my ears. My gaze was directly on him as I watched him struggle to find words. “I… I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry for what I did. I know there’s nothing else I can say or do to make it better. I can’t redeem myself… but I don’t want to be alone.” As he attempted to move forward, Michael stood up. Trevor fell back into his seat, weakly looking at Michael, who sat back down next to me. “I… I know I fucked up big. I just…”

“Listen Trevor, I know I said we can talk, but honestly I don’t think we have anything else to talk about. You know what you did. You know what you did was wrong. I think it’s great that you saved Michael’s life, but you did that for a different reason. Not for me. I know you have bigger things planned, concentrate on those. Right now, you and I have nothing.”

“What about-” He attempted to weakly mumble before I interrupted him.

“Nothing is confirmed. It’s because of all this stress that I don’t know and who knows about it. No matter what you would have nothing to do with it.” My voice came out stern and harsh. I could feel my heart racing, and my brow furrow.

“What are you guys talking about?” I shook my head.

“It’s nothing for now, and it doesn’t matter.” I sighed and leaned against the wall.

“Then… why are you still here?” Trevor asked quietly. I could hear the anger bubbling in him.

“I’m here for Ron.”

“I’m his boss! His friend! We don’t need you!” Trevor shouted at me.

“You’re the one who did this to him! Calling him your friend. Look at what you did to him! What if he didn’t save me? What if he didn’t try to protect me? That could be me on that bed! Then what?” I stood up, fists clenched at my sides. Trevor gritting his teeth, hissed,

“I would never do that to you!”

“How do you fuckin’ know!? You fucking tried to rape me!” My voice broke, tears surfacing. I took a deep shaky breath. “You were hurting me, and I was begging you to stop. You didn’t. Ron said you would have crushed my head in and wouldn’t even know it. You didn’t care that I waited for you, for fucking days. I tried to comfort you, you just pushed me away, destroyed your fucking house and then demanded me there. You grabbed me, and tied me up.” Trevor covered his ears and tears began to stream down both of our faces. He rocked back and forced. I moved towards him, struggling to force his hands away from my face.

“No! Don’t cover your ears. You need to listen! I dream about that moment every night, the least you can fucking do is listen to what you did to me.” His hands fell to his face, trying to hide from his shame. “Do you remember what you did to me? Trevor!” He removed his hands, his eyes were wide, tears still falling. He looked down to the floor and he shook his head. I took his face into my hands, I spoke in a shaky and choked voice.

“You shoved yourself into my mouth and down my throat. I gagged so hard, and because I hadn’t eaten in days, I thought the acid that was trying to come up was going to burn a hole in my throat. You shoved your fingers into me. Your nails scraped and cut my insides that I bled for two days. It hurt to do anything. I laid in bed for days, doing nothing, because I was in such shock that someone who said that they loved me, made me so many promises, only to hurt me. I put my trust in you and you broke every little piece you could. This all may hurt for you, but for me, it hurts so much more. Too much.” I let go of his face gently and moved back to Michael, who gave me tissues. Trevor sat silently, looking at me for a moment and then stood up and left.

Michael and I sat in the hallway.

“Do… do you think I’m doing the right thing?” I whispered. Michael looked at me, shock in his face before answering.

“Don’t doubt your decisions now. I think you did, because,” He pointed towards Ron’s room. “That could have been you, that could be you. You got out while you could. There’s nothing wrong with that.” He patted my shoulder before standing up and leaving me alone in the hallway. I looked up towards the ceiling.

_I… I want to go home._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Guys! Thanks for reading this chapter! Please let me know what you think of this chapter!


	12. Foreshadow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lily meets Chef.

I opened my eyes slowly. My stomach ached terribly, a heavy weight on my shoulders, and a sharp pain on my cheek. I closed my eyes in pain from a blinding light while sitting up slowly. _Did I fall asleep in the hospital room again?_ There was a loud creak in the chair as I sat back. My eyes shot open as I found myself in front of Trevor’s trailer. A table full of plates and food lay in front of me. I was wearing the same clothes as I did when I was waiting for Trevor. Standing up quickly in confusion, I glanced around. Trevor’s vehicle was nowhere in sight. I turned, quickly walking into the trailer to find it was not in the same disarray Trevor had left it. _Another dream? No…_ My stomach did flips as I walked back outside and ran towards Ron’s trailer. I knocked on the door and upon no response, I began to bang my fist against it. Ron opened it, angerly.

“What do you want?!” His brow furrowed. I stood in shock as he stood completely fine in front of me. No bruised or stitched up face. His arms and legs without casts and his fingers were no longer sausages. My eyes filling with tears as I mumbled in disbelief.

“You’re okay…” I looked at him up and down before looking around the place. He then replied,

“Yes I am, except for the fact you’re bothering me during my radio show. What do you want?” I quickly hugged him, to which he quickly pushed me away confused. I ran back to the trailer, Ron running back into his trailer. I looked around, quickly grabbing my things before hearing the familiar sound of a vehicle parking out front. Panic ran through me. My next few decisions were going to matter more than anything. I had to think quickly. My heart racing I quickly ran out the door, Trevor and I passing each other. Ron raced to come meet me and I caught him by the arm. _I’ll only get this one chance._

“Ron, we need to give him space. No matter what. Trevor!” Trevor now in the trailer was silent. “I’m borrowing Ron for something! We’ll back in a few hours!” I began to push Ron towards his vehicle.

“Stop pushing me!” He hissed.

“There’s no time, let’s go.” Trevor began to shriek as we both quickly drove off.

“Why did we leave him there?! He needs us!”

“He’s going to fucking hurt us if we get in his way right now. I… I just know it… where can we go so that he can’t hurt us?” Ron stuttered at first in confusion and panic.

“W-w-we could go to one of the safe houses that we have around Sandy Shores o-o-or hang out in one of the mountains for a while. Just not Los Santos. There are too many lizard people there!” I nodded my head quickly,

“Let’s go into the mountains. At least there, he would essentially cool off trying to get to us.”

I could feel both of us panicking in our seats. I only hoped that this was the real deal.

_One chance._

* * *

 

Hours passed without word from Trevor. We sat in Ron’s truck, staring outside towards a large body of water.

“Why did you drag me with you?” Ron’s voice brought me back to reality.

“What?” I asked turning towards him.

“I’m usually stuck with him when he breaks down like that. I’m used to it. You didn’t need to bring me with, so why did you?” Ron questioned with a confused face. I turned away from him, staring outwards. The waves gently moving on the water, a few people on jet skis riding through even though it was growing darker. I looked at Ron and quietly stated,

“I had a strange feeling today was going to be much different than all of those other times. As if something was going to go so terribly wrong, something that would change everyone as a whole. It’s difficult to explain. All I know is, at least this way, you and I are safe from the actions Trevor could have taken. I think that’s all that matters.” Ron continued to look at me confused when his phone rang, splitting the tension between us. He looked at the name, murmured ‘it’s Trevor’ and then answered,

“Heya Trevor! Ar-are ya back?” A angry voice could be heard, so loud that I could actual hear it.

“Hell yeah I am! Where the fuck are you and Lily?”

“We went for a quick hike in the mountains, we’ll be right there!” Trevor ended the call with a click. Ron sighed loudly, before turning to me and in a commanding tone,

“Come on, he’s waiting for us.” I stood up quickly with him.

* * *

 

Upon getting back, the trailer was worse for wear. The front door was off the hinge, some of the walls had dents, cabinets had holes, the futon was upside down and partially on the counter and the bedroom had seen some shit. Everywhere was a mess, and Trevor stood in the middle of it. He looked at the two of us, as we entered in shock and awe, grinning and exclaiming,

“Alright!” He clapped his hands together. “We are going to fix this place up!” I quickly stopped to see the entire floor covered in glass.

“Fix up or make brand new? Are these the dishes?” I questioned Trevor with a concerned look. I turned my head to look for the dishes, only to see the recliner in two pieces, one half in the size, the other was attempting to escape through the window. I turned back to Trevor.

“I have a lot of questions.” Trevor smiled, placed his hands on his hips, and proudly said,

“Go ahead and ask. Clean up the glass while you do though…please.” I nodded, reaching for, what was now, half of a broom. I gave Trevor a questionable look, to which he replied with a grin and shrug.

“Ron, please go get your broom.” I crouched down to start sweeping with the remains of the broom as Ron quickly left. “Let’s start with… what happened to the trailer.”

“I was upset.” He sounded like a child that had just gotten caught with his hand in the cookie jar. I nodded slowly.

“I see that. Is that why the recliner is trying to hi-tail it out of here?” He glanced at the recliner pieces before replying,

“I may have encouraged that behavior.”

“Maybe.” I stated in a strained voice. “Did you break all of the dishes?”

“Yes.”

“How will I feed you?”

“Uhhh….” I shook my head as I continued to sweep.

A growing pile of glass sat next to me. Ron walked in as I slowly stood up and took the broom from his hands.

“Where should we start first? The sink looks like it’s under attack.”

“I’m a little worried about the lack of a front door…” Ron stated nervously.

“Hey, I’m trapped here.” Ron and I looked at Trevor, judgement written on our faces while Trevor wore a nervous grin.

“Do you guys have anyone else that would be willing to help us out? I mean sure we have Trevor, but we’re down Wade and I don’t think I know anyone else who would be willing to help.” Ron looked between Trevor and I before suggesting,

“We could ask Chef.”

“Chef?” My eyes darted to look at Trevor and Ron.

“Here, I’ll call him up. I’m not doing anything.” Trevor quickly pulled out his phone, dialed a number, speaking quickly to someone on the other line.

_Hopefully this Chef person can help out._

* * *

 

“Wow Trevor, and I thought you destroyed the kitchen, this place is wrecked!” A man who stood at a similar height to Ron slowly walked into the trailer. He had somewhat of a shaved head, and what looked like to be an attempt of growing a mohawk. He had black framed glasses and a mustache, tattoos covering his arms, but overall looked far normal than Ron and Trevor, who each had the marks of an addict. He stopped short of all of the glass, looking at me as I attempted to make a path to free Trevor.

“Sorry, I don’t believe, we’ve met. I’m Chef! I work with Trevor.” He held his hand out. I held my own out in return, shaking his hand with a firm grip.

“I’m Lily.”

“And she’s my girlfriend.” Trevor physically pulled our hands apart by the wrists, before returning to his spot. I rolled my eyes, Chef responding with a cough as if to cover a laugh.

“Where do you need me… Lily?”

“I’ve made a path to the sink, why don’t you start with the drowning recliner piece?” He turned his head, a distressed look on his face. The sink’s faucet was forced all the way around, water slowly trickling from the base and soaking the foam from the inside of the recliner. The wet foam was starting to fall in small clumps into the sink, almost clogging it. He carefully made his way to it, gently lifting it up. As he did, the faucet snapped back into place violently, breaking in the process and spraying water. Chef dropped the recliner piece onto the ground, spraying glass everywhere. Cold water hit my face and shirt as I squeaked in shock at the temperature of the water. Trevor quickly pushed Chef out of the way, and attempted to stop the water. He grabbed the recliner, forced it on top, and stepped back to watch his handy work. It began to soak the recliner quickly as Trevor crouched down to look under the sink.

“Ron, I need a wrench!” I watch Ron quickly run out, as I tried to move some of the glass away from the men at the sink. The water from the fountain, my hair and clothes were making it rather difficult to sweep. Ron ran back in, handing a large metal wrench with an adjustable jaw to Chef who then handed it to Trevor. He took it quickly, and began to work. I turned my back, focusing on the glass. I heard a loud pop, and a hard stream of water hit me in the back of the head. I swore under my breath as I moved out of the way and looked at the sink in confusion as Trevor had a nervous look on his face. Chef mirrored it and tried to gently cover the stream with his hand, only to take it back from the pressure. Water smacked into the metal walls, clanging against it. I heard a snicker next to me; quickly turning my head with a look of irritation, I saw Ron trying to cover his mouth, failing to hide his laughter at my misfortune. I placed the broom against the wall gently, heading to the cupboards that were leaning over. I stepped over pieces of  glass until I reached the farthest one. Opening it, I grabbed the hose from inside, hoisting it up on my shoulder and then walking back to the sink. With the stream still coming up and a worried look now on Ron’s face, I motioned for Chef to move the, now, injured recliner. He moved it, spraying water in the process as I quickly placed one end of the hose onto the spraying water. I grabbed Chef’s hand tightly, placing it on the sink end, holding that piece in place, while I frantically grabbed the other end, aiming it at Ron. Due to the length of the hose, it was timed perfectly to start spraying Ron with water as soon as I aimed it.

“Get out if you’re just going to laugh at me.” Ron attempted to cower and stop the flow of water that was being sprayed, only for him to walk out backwards, as I continued to spray him. The water flow died down as I forced Ron down the steps and a loud booming voice that yelled,

“God damn it! What the fuck are you two doing?!” Trevor walked out, hose still pointed at a soaked Ron as I looked at him and said,

“He was taking up space.” Trevor shook his head and replied,

“Let’s just get back to work.” I went back inside, Ron trailing behind me with an unhappy look on his face.

_Well, we have a lot of work to do._

* * *

 

After four hours, working deep into the evening, we were able to clean most of the trailer. The escaping recliner was drop kicked out the window. Trevor’s excuse for breaking the window further was that ‘it wanted out, so he helped.’ Chef and Ron fixed the futon, although it’ll probably never lay back down again. I sighed as I attempted to shovel with a dustpan, all of the dish remains into a bag. We ended up making the end of the hose the new faucet. Trevor refusing to get a new one.

“It totally works. We can’t steal it off another sink because it’ll just break.” The process was a little messy but it worked. He ended up cutting off one end of the hose a little shorter, allowing me to spray down the sink easier, and the rest of the hose was placed back into the cupboard. Without the proper tools, the cupboards were taken off the walls. By taken off, I mean ripped off. Some of them were left dangling; Trevor grabbed the remaining cabinet and ripped it off the wall, falling backwards in the process. The bedroom was just as much as a disaster, as was the bathroom. I didn’t even want to describe the bathroom, but I will admit, that Ron threw up.

“Alright, well one of your two have to clean the bathroom.” Trevor stated firmly. We simultaneously glared at Trevor. “You two left me here alone… and also Chef and I have done the most work. So one of you gets the bathroom and the other gets the bedroom.”

“It’s your mess!” I yelled at Trevor.

“I agree and it’s revolting!” Ron added. Trevor shook his head.

“You’re going to clean and that’s that. Also you two are constantly acting like children, so here’s a little responsibility.” Ron and I looked at each other nervously.

“How do we want to decide this?” I questioned. Ron thought for a moment.

“Rock, paper, scissors?” I raised my brow at Ron, before saying,

“Fine.” For the first three, we got the same move. I groaned in frustration.

“Fuck, I really don’t want to do this.”

“You’re not the only one.” Ron said under his breath. As we went for the fourth, Trevor quickly stood up, and pushed me towards the bedroom. He then faced Ron, before saying,

“I choose you pikachu. You get the bathroom.” A loud what came from Ron, as Trevor pushed me in and Trevor close the door. The door was slightly off its hinge, something that could be easily fixed. I could hear Ron throw a small fit before throwing up again. I sighed loudly as Trevor stood anxiously in front of the door.

“What’s up Trevor?” I began to pick up the clothes that had been violently thrown around the room. The wardrobe was leaning on the end table. He walked over to me, pulling me into a tight hug. It was difficult to breath as he continued to cling to me.

“Trevor?” I said strained. Trevor began to tremble, something wet hit my shoulder, as he spoke in a quiet shaky breath.

“Please…”

“Please?”

“Please don’t leave me. P-p-please don’t betray me like that fat fuck.” He breathed deeply as if attempting to calm himself. I dropped the clothes, returned the embrace, rubbing his back gently.

“I won’t. Unless of course you do something that makes me leave, but I won’t betray you. No matter what.” He pulled away from me, eyes red with a deep frown.

“P-promise me.” He choked out.

“I promise.” His hands moved from my back to my face, pressing his lips against mine. Quick kisses were passed between us. He breathed heavily as he pulled away from me. He glanced at the door, before gently pushing me up against the wall.

“I’ll be quick.” His voice and face were pleading to me. I looked at the door. It was closed, a small bit of the ceiling from the next room could be seen. I moved my hands to his shoulders. The dream flashed through my mind. I felt a small amount of fear surge through me, but it evaporated as I thought more of the situation. He was giving me an opportunity to say no, he wasn’t forcing himself onto me. I stepped forward, placing a gentle kiss on his lips. He took it as a green light, as he kissed back hardly, pushing my back against the wall. As our faces moved away from one another, Trevor whispered,

“Pull down your shorts.” Embarrassed, I slowly did so. He unzipped his jeans, pulling his excitement out. He reached into his back pocket, pulling out a condom. “Didn’t forget this time.” He grinned at me as he covered himself. My stomach was in knots as he picked me up, my legs wrapped around his waist. He slammed his lips into mine again as he attempted to angle himself. I felt the blood rush to my face as I reached down, grabbing him, and helping him to my entrance. He gently pushed himself in. We both breathed heavily and in between kisses, I could hear his groans. He started to thrust slowly, covering his lips with my own as he began to moan too loudly. I gripped his shoulders tightly in fear of him dropping me as he continued to thrust slowly into me. There was a small amount of mounting pressure, and I shivered as he moved my lips to my ear, whispering,

“F-fuck. You’re s-so goddamn tight.” His pace quickened and his husky tone sent shivers down my spine as he continued, “Fu-fuck. I’m going to cum. I-I-I’m going to…” He trailed off, focusing, as he pounded harder into me. I could feel his whole body start to shake. He halted his movements, gently bringing the both of us closer to the ground. He grabbed both of my thighs, moving them closer in line with my shoulders. My breath got caught in my throat as he thrusted into me. It was a much deeper angle, hitting at the right spots. My body tingled while a cool heat rushed over my body. My mind went blank as he kissed me again. His body jerked violently against me as his movements slowed, until he came to a complete stop. He pulled out, letting go of my legs, and pulled me into an embrace. He breathed heavily as he spoke.

“If we didn't have guests right now, I would have fucked you so much hard, you wouldn’t be able to walk.” I laughed before replying,

“Sure, and who would have cleaned the bedroom?”

“I’m capable of cleaning.”

“You’re capable of destroying the bedroom, not cleaning it.” I pulled away, kissing him quickly and grabbing my clothes. “Gotta get back to work. I feel like I’m going to pay for Ron having to clean up the bathroom.” Trevor stood up, fixing himself and then turning towards the door. I stood up to finish dressing.

“Lily! Trevor!” Ron’s voice could be heard from behind the door.

_Aw, fuck. What now?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I know this is super weird but let me explain. I've been introducing the concept of dreams since the end of the last part because of sections like this.  
> The inspiration came from a strange set of dreams that I had where I traveled in time, specifically the future. I wanted to integrate into this series because it's weirdly happened to me too!  
> Anyways, let me know what you think!


	13. Causing Trouble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lily and Trevor have another chat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all! Thank you so much for all the comments I've been receiving on the last few chapters, they have been super motivating and just great over all!  
> Just a heads up, next week I will not be able to post anything so this week, you'll be getting a ton of content to fill in that week. I'm ahead a couple of chapters in terms of content.  
> Please let me know what you think of this chapter and thank you for reading!

“What the fuck do you want Ron?” Trevor barked as he walked out of the bedroom. I trailed behind him quickly as he stepped out. He came to a complete halt, code switching as he looked towards the front door.

“My homie! What’s up?” Trevor yelled enthusiastically. Franklin’s voice answered.

“Nothing much my homie. Just came to ask a question.”

“Anything for my man in the hood.” I cringed.  _ Trevor… please stop… _

“You seen Michael?” Silence fell between the two. I looked at Trevor who had a frozen smile on his face before his features fell completely and he spoke in a deeper voice.

“No… I haven’t. And before you ask, I don’t give a fuck either. That lying snake can go fuck himself.”

“Trevor, please.”

“Listen here, homie. Don’t push your luck just cause I’ve been actin’ friendly. I’ve got a lot of issues right now, fixing my house and all… keeping these two in line.” Trevor stated while motioning to Ron and I. We quickly glared at each other and then Trevor. “I’ve got other things to worry about than fucking Michael. Now get out of my face.” Franklin looked towards me for help in which I solemnly shook my head.

“I’d like to, but I’ve got to help out Trevor.” Franklin nodded and then walked out. 

I looked at Trevor, his fists were clenched. I reached out, gently grabbing his wrists; he twitched at the contact.

“Trevor. Let’s go fix the bedroom.” He nodded quietly before walking back in.

I turned towards Ron, who slowly and unhappily moved back into the bathroom. As I walked into the bedroom, Trevor sat on the bed, quietly looking at the wall. I gently closed the door, moving to his side. I sat down, leaning my head up against his shoulder. He gently shrugged me off.  _ I guess he doesn’t want to be touched. That’s okay.  _ I stood up, walked over to the pile of clothes and began to fold and separate.

“Hey.”

“Hmm?” I remained focus on my work.

“Are… Are you mad at me?” I looked back at Trevor. He was still looking at the wall.

“No. 10 years ago, 5 years ago or 5 days ago. It doesn’t make a difference. What Michael did to you… has followed you, your whole life. You grieved, but not for the right person. It’s okay for everything to feel like a lie, it’s okay to be upset and to say no when things like this end up the way that they did. I’m not mad at you for saying no. You’re an adult, capable of making most decisions. You feel betrayed and it’s okay to be angry with the person that betrayed you. He should have told you outright. The communication between everyone was completely fucked. But don’t let this rule or run your life. You still care for him. So maybe down the line, he can make it up to you, but until he apologizes or makes the first move, I wouldn’t go out of your way too much to help him.” Trevor fell silent. I turned back towards the clothes, folding quickly as the silence set in again.

“I want to kiss you.” I quickly picked up my head, and looked towards Trevor, his gaze on me now. I laughed, trying to play it cool and said,

“Ah, I don’t think that’s worthy of a kiss.” I could feel that my face was beet red. “Just speaking my mind.” I turned away quickly, folding the clothes faster. I stood up with a small pile, gently placing them on the bed. 

“I think the wardrobe is done for. Where do you want your clothes?” Trevor’s eyes remained focus on me. When he said nothing, I went and grabbed the next pile, until four sets were sitting up against one another and him. Moving towards the wardrobe, his large hand grabbed my wrist and pulled me towards him. He wrapped his arms around my waist, placed his head against my stomach and breathed in deeply. 

“Is… is it wrong for me to ask for more personal comfort?”  _ Personal comfort?  _

“What do you mean?”

“I… I know we just did it, but… I was just wondering…if we could cuddle?” I wasn’t really expecting for him to ask. I cupped his face with my hands, forcing him to look up at me. His face was full of hurt.

“Let’s finish cleaning, send Ron and Chef home. Then we can cuddle all you want.” I leaned down, placing a gentle kiss on his lips. A weak smile formed on his face as he let me go, rubbing my waist and thighs one last time as if to memorize the feeling. Ron knocked on the door.

“T… I’m done.” Ron sounded beyond ill. Trevor stood up, passing me and opening the door.

“What the fuck took so long?”

“Trevor, it was nasty as hell. Honestly it would have taken me longer.” I defended Ron. I looked at him; he had the face of someone who wanted to barf again. I didn’t want to say it but I moved closer to him and whispered, 

“I owe you. You took that like a fucking champ.” Ron looked at me. He shook his head and weakly replied,

“You owe me fucking big then.” I nodded as Ron left the trailer, heading home. Chef had just placed a non-broken TV onto the stand, looking back at Trevor and stating,

“Alright Trev, Ron and I will be back tomorrow to do more work. Although Ron looks like he needs a day off.” Trevor nodded.

“Much appreciated friend. I will see you tomorrow.” Chef nodded in reply, walking towards the door before stopping and waving to me.

“See you tomorrow Lily!” I smiled and waved back. Chef closed the front door. Ron had done a pretty good job fixing it. It didn’t hang awkwardly like the bedroom door did. I felt long arms wrap themselves around me. I relaxed into Trevor’s chest. It was decently late, almost into the next day. I sighed, looking up at Trevor, whose gaze remained fixated on the front door.

“Come on let’s go cuddle.” He nodded slowly in response.

_ I really want to sleep. _

* * *

 

I awoke to Trevor gently kissing me. I kissed back, and as he pulled away, I realized he wasn’t lying down. Rather, he was kind of crouching next to me. I smiled, murmuring,

“What’s up?” He shined me a tooth grinned before saying,

“You slept for two days.” My eyes widened.

“What…?”  _ WHAAAT???  _

“Shouldn’t be too surprised. I heard you stayed up waiting for me everyday since I left. You didn’t eat either. You must be head over heels for me if you do stuff like that.” My brow twitched in irritation. “Aww, you’re blushing; which means I’m right.” He kept the grin on his face as I sat in shock.

“Who… who told you?” 

“Ron did.” I shot out of bed, running out of the bedroom to the middle of the trailer. Ron was sitting at the table, attempting to fix it.

“You fucker! Why the hell did you tell him?!” I grabbed him by the shoulders and started to shake him violently. “You keep that type of shit to yourself.” His answer was scattered as I shook him like a rag doll. 

“He-asked-about-plates-on-table. I-told him.” I stopped shaking him.

“You should have made something up!”

“He knows when people are lying to him!”

“He didn’t need to know that!” Trevor picked me up as if I was a small kitten attempting to attack Ron. 

“Awww, don’t blame him.” He placed me over his shoulder.

“Put me down Trevor.” I attempted to kick him as he pushed both of my legs down.

“Let’s go talk about how you feel about me.” He happily walked both of us outside into the blazing sun. I was quickly blinded as he set me down onto one of the chairs. I groaned in frustration. 

“I honestly wasn’t going to wake you up, but when Ron told me, I just couldn’t myself.” Trevor said, almost as if he was trying to contain his excitement. He grasped both of my hands, rubbing my knuckles as a small smile on his lips was attempting to not turn into a huge grin. He looked back at me after quickly glancing at my hands.

“So…” He started.

“So?” 

“So, tell me when you started being crazy over me.” He put my hands up to his lips, gently kissing my knuckles while keeping his eyes on me. 

“I…”  _ How do I feel about Trevor?   _ “Trev…” I stopped again, unable to find the words.

“That’s a cute nickname for me. I like that.” I internally cringed.  _ When did I start caring for him as much as I do now? I do care for Trevor. I wouldn’t have stayed up for days for just anyone. I wouldn’t have stopped eating or really blamed myself. But I had no idea how much I actually cared for him, what was the extent, nor when.  _

“I… I don’t really know. I know that I wouldn’t have stayed up for days on end for just anyone… although I blamed myself greatly for tearing this rift in your friendship because I pushed Michael-”

“You did the right thing.” Trevor interrupted. “You found out, and you told me. You didn’t hold onto the shit for 10 years or even a day. You immediately told me.” 

“Even so, you’re right. I wouldn’t have done any of that if I didn’t care for you.” Trevor’s eyes were now closed. I wasn’t sure if he was just soaking in the moment, or thinking. Trevor moved my hands from his face, slowly standing up and leading me away from the trailer. We continued to walk until we came across some rocks. 

“This is where we made that deal. Do you remember?” Trevor asked me, gently pushing my back onto a rock. I looked around and nodded. This was where we made the original deal, he would let me talk to someone, which I ultimately didn’t do, and he got me to pretend that he was someone I loved and wanted to be with. “Did you at any point… then... I don’t know what I want to ask.” Trevor looked away. I wasn't sure what he wanted or why the sudden shift. He was so happy one second ago, and now he had a solemn look on his face as if he was second guessing himself or me. 

“Trev?” I had to be careful. He stepped away from me, rubbing his temples.

“Let me ask you something.” There was something threatening about him now. It felt strange how the mood turned a complete 180.

“What?”

“When you escaped, how were you a step ahead of us? I know Michael helped you, but how? How did you know when would be the perfect time to escape?” I was taken aback.

“Why bring this up now? Why are you making yourself upset?”

“I am making sure, I’m not going to fall into the pit of betrayal again.” He hissed. “Now, fucking tell me every detail.” When I didn’t answer him immediately, he yelled,

“Fucking tell me. NOW!” I stood my ground, angrily replying,

“I don’t know what you’re trying to justify or what you’re going to do to and then try and justify, but I don’t think it means anything. You fucking kidnapped me. I may not be your prisoner now, but I’m the FIB’s prisoner so that you’ll fucking work, so you’ll behave. I’m never not someone’s prisoner. Stop fucking treating me like I’m some goddamn vindictive snake constantly out to get you.” His face dropped quickly as I continued. “Want to know how I fucking knew? I kept track of shit. When you left, when the train left, how long it took to cross the tracks, how long it took to get from point A to point B; you openly gave me information as to that you were leaving. It didn’t matter when, it just mattered that you fucking left. Ron was easy as fuck to keep track of, the only one that I couldn't, was you. You were so fucking unpredictable that the only way to actually keep track of you was to go with the flow of things. I kept my distance from you as to not emotionally manipulate you, and I may have taken advantage of the information you gave me, but what the fuck did you want me to do? To say? Oh hey, don’t tell me this shit because I’m going to use it to escape? How the fuck does that make any logical sense. I have never once manipulated you or taken advantage of you, only the information you willingly gave me. I told you from the start I wasn’t going to do anything, because I’m not that type of person. I wanted to keep my morals and values as I was trying to escape. I didn’t want to turn into this completely different person who was making choices that were so irrationally wrong that I would end up dead than far away from you. Sure irritating Ron was something of a thorn in your side, but honestly he was the biggest fucking distraction. The only scary thing about him was that he had a gun. Yes, Michael fucking helped me, because he isn’t a complete psycho like you! He gave me a fucking earpiece, he kept me up to date in what and where you guys were going and doing. Sure, he fucked up with you, but he did everything within his power to help me get out of that fucking mess only for you to fuck up and panic, call some third fucking party and got me caught. The only one who I should blame for being a fucking prisoner still, is you! You’re the one who called in Steve and Dave, who then called Weston. What the fuck did you expect to happen? You knew it was bad news, you knew they would use me against you. Oh but that didn’t matter. What mattered was getting into my fucking head, trying to instill fear in me by suddenly picking up old, dead shit so that you can continue to manipulate and control me like what you do to Ron, and Wade and what you tried to do to Floyd. Floyd, it didn’t work, so you killed him. Are you going to do that to me now? Now that you can’t have me under your fucking thumb? Is that what you want this relationship to be? I don’t want to live on the goddamn edge of your mood swings and changes. I remember you saying to Patricia that no one stays because of your problems, then fucking fix them. Stop relying on relationships and other people to fix you! That’s what I said at the fucking start! Fuck this. I’m done.” I began to walk from the rocks, when Trevor grabbed me.

“Please wait.” I grabbed his wrist, trying to pry it from him.

“Listen to me Trevor. I can’t fix you. You can fix you, but I can’t. Either be happy with who you are, or control yourself enough to not fuck up every moment we have. I can only help so much, I can only comfort you so much, until I’m emotionally and physically drained. I was genuinely happy back there. I actually felt like you adored me. But seeing you act like this, makes me just think it’s all a facade, you’re the one betraying me and are just trying to control me like some puppet. You don’t give me, what I give you.” I was able to shrug him off, quickly walking away before he could say anything else. It hadn’t clicked until I started talking, that this was still all of Trevor’s fault. I hadn’t dealt with Haines for a couple days, but that didn’t mean that shit wasn’t going to start up soon. As I entered the trailer, Ron stood up. He glanced around me, and then asked,

“Where’s Trevor? I need to lift the table.”

“Trevor’s pouting. I’ll help you.” Ron answered with a silent ‘oh’ as we lifted the table back onto its legs. 

“Why… is Trevor pouting?” Ron’s tone was that of someone who was walking on glass.

“Because he wants to bring up old, dead shit so that he can control me through fear.”

“The government does that.”

“As does Trevor.” I raised a brow in Ron’s direction. He stood quiet, almost alert for shit to hit the fan.

“Trevor isn’t that bad. He’s sensitive.”

“When he wants to be, that’s how he’s controlling you Ron. You’re so worried about the ‘man’ controlling you, when you’re already under Trevor’s thumb. Isn’t he the corporate control you talk about hating? Isn’t he the one who brings these false sets of rules, the same as the government who thinks the constitution is the ultimate judgement of our fates?” Ron stood quietly before saying,

“You listen to my radio show.”

“That I do.” I moved to look at the kitchen.  _ How many dishes do we really need? _ Right now, we had none.

“Why?” Ron bringing my focus back to him, I asked,

“Why, what?”

“Why do you listen to it?”

“Isn’t it important to listen to things that your friends create?”

“You think of me as a friend?” I looked at Ron.  _ Do I? Do I really?   _ “I’ve got the one, I only need the one. Trevor, is my best friend. The only one I can trust.”

“Because he puts you in this imaginary world where you can be yourself while he’s fully aware that the government is watching you? He’s working with the FIB, I’m not exactly sure what you expect.”

“Trev-Trevor would never-”

“Would never what? Openly prosecute you like the state, by, I don’t know, not punching you in the face? Keeping you in line like the government with laws and regulations and not by, I’m not sure, the installment of constant fear into his agenda? I’m not sure you’re this independent thinker that you claim to be, if you can’t even think about attack on the home front.”

“You-you’re just trying to turn me against him!” I moved towards Ron; his face expressing that I was terribly close to him.

“Ron, I want you to listen to me. I do care about you. I know we’re in the middle of this fucking war of messing with each other, but let me the first to tell you, that no matter the results... to me; this is just for fun. This is just a way for both of us to have a stress relief. Out of you and Trevor, I care about you far more, because you aren’t the one constantly trying to threaten me into place. You aren’t trying to manipulate me into this little world you’ve created. Rather you are a part of a world, Trevor has created. One, where you’re a little minion who has to deal with his daily banter and pain. You’re stuck in it, like I am. I had a strange dream where Trevor did terrible things to us and it felt so real. I remember every single day; it was over a month and a half. I realized out of all of the things that happened in that dream, you were the only person who I wondered if they were okay. If you were going to be okay; keeping by your side to ensure your safety. I was terrified out of my fucking mind, because how shit went down. At the end of it and even know, I realize that I do care about you.” I quickly hugged him. He was tall like Trevor so my arms were under his, with my head turned to the side. His heartbeat was racing.  _ He’s going to push me away anyways.  _ To my surprise he didn’t. He was frozen in place. I let him go, patted his shoulder, and walked away. I walked back outside, only to see Trevor about to enter his vehicle. His eyes were red as they made contact with mine. He breathed deeply, closed his eyes before opening them again, entering fully and leaving. I watched his car disappear with a trail of dust following behind him.

I hope he heard what I said. Then he’d realize where else he had gone wrong.

_ He gets what he deserves. _


	14. Surprise, Surprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lily and Trevor chat. TRIGGER WARNING.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a rather serious chapter, over a SERIOUS subject. I didn't think I'd be able to post this week, yet HERE I AM. I am working on a fun bonus chapter [next chapter] for the time that Trevor was away. I had written it is a little out of order, but the technical plot chapter after this one is kicking my butt, so I'm definitely going to need more time. So there might be some side tangents of some stuff that I wanted to explore with this series but I haven't. Thanks for continuing to read <3 Let me know what you guys think! :)

A loud knock came from the front door. I had been sleeping on the futon for the last few nights since Trevor had left. I assumed he was going to do more self-destructive behavior, but it wasn’t my problem. I still cared about him immensely, that didn’t just disappear, and it hurt like a bitch that he wanted to bring shit up. I stood up slowly from the futon, and opened the door slowly. I opened it fully upon seeing Trevor, beaten and bruised. 

“Trevor?”

“Why is the door locked?”

“Why isn’t the door locked? It’s 2 in the morning, what the fuck happened?” 

“Can I come in?” He sounded like a puppy that had just been beaten.

“I mean, it’s your home. I’m not going to stop you.” I opened the door wider, and moving out of the way. He slowly walks in, a solemn look remained on his face. He sat down on the futon as I closed and locked the door. 

“Can… can we talk?” I looked at him curiously. Usually he just starts talking.

“Sure, what’s up?” 

“About… a couple days ago, what I said… I just. I’m so doubtful of everything and everyone. I don’t know if this illusion of friends and a relationship will just evaporate before my eyes. I don’t know when people will leave me, I know they will. I just…” Trevor crumpled, beginning to sob while trying to speak. “I-I do-don’t want to be a-alone anymore. I can’t do an-anything without you.” He looked at me, tears streaming his face, hands in a begging position. He fell to his knees, grabbing my tank-top.

“Please! I-I-I can’t do this. I need you.” 

“Trevor. You’ve lived by yourself before, you’ve done this before. I can’t fix you. Sure I can be your friend, give you company, but I can’t fix the problems that you have. We’ve talked about this. Do you just ignore me when I talk?”

“No! I listen to everything that you say! I-I-I just don’t want people to get to me! They’ll abuse my sensitive side, manipulate me, hurt me! People are rotten, I have to protect myself. Please understand that.”

“Your insecurities and behavior is hurting us. You doing that, or this, is what’s pushing me away. Your actions are pushing away, nothing else.” I pushed him away, sat down on the futon so that I was on the same level as him and said,

“I care about you like fucking crazy. I hate it when you do self-destructive shit, but that’s you. I can’t change who you are and I won’t.  _ That’s  _ manipulation.” He was still on his knees in front of me; reaching over, I put one hand on his cheek, making him face me. “Listen to me, I know you want me to be the one to make you a better man, but in no shape or form can anyone do that. You need to be willing to change on your own, seek the treatment on your own. Your biggest supporter should always be yourself.” 

“What if I can’t do it? What if I need help?”

“Then never be afraid to ask. Do it. Know you aren’t alone in these walls you’ve built. It will always be okay for you to ask for help. It’s okay to fall down after an attempt. But pick yourself back up and dust yourself off, because you’ve only failed when you just lie in the dirt doing nothing. You’ve only quit when you’ve stopped trying.” Trevor fell silent, looking at me as if I’d react in a different way. 

“What… What if I want to die?” I looked at Trevor with widened eyes. It would explain the dangerous behavior, secretly hoping one of his actions from someone or himself would be the end to his life.

“Do you?” I asked quietly. He mumbled something. “Trev?” 

“Yes. I do.” My hands didn’t leave his face. Neither of us moved from the sudden confession. My heart dropped, my mind suddenly turned to panic and I didn’t know what to say. I had had a few friends tell me that they were depressed, that they had wanted to kill themselves, and even had a few who had lost that battle. But none, had been more actively and openly trying to do it like Trevor. My thoughts immediately went to those who I felt that I failed. My friends who had left because depression had won. My friends who were still trying to fight it, and those who I feared were developing it. I would never get a chance to say everything I wanted to, to my friends who were lost, but at least with Trevor, this would be my chance. 

“I love you.” Trevor remained still. I stood up and sat down in front of him. “It might not be the love that you want or maybe it is. I’m still trying to figure out how I feel. What I do know is that every time you’re in the room, my brain turns to mush. My heart races too fast and beats too loudly that I think you’ll hear it or sometimes I can’t hear what you say. There are days where you’re the only reason that I smile, and that keeps me going. The day I was stuck with Steve, I kept think about how you guys were similar and yet different. I couldn’t fucking stand him. You’ve kidnapped me, scared the shit out of me and yelled at me for stupid shit. But at the end of the day, you’re the person that I think of when I go to sleep and when I wake up. I am always on the edge of my seat in anxiety, wondering when I’ll see you again. I stayed up for days, because I didn’t want to miss you coming into the trailer. I wanted to be the one to help pick you back up. Even when we were cleaning up the trailer and you were still broken inside, all I wanted to do was ask about you, but I also didn’t want to cross over any boundaries. I wanted to give you space. I know this isn’t helping, but know, that I will miss you if you leave. I will care if you’re gone.” I hugged him, tears falling down my cheeks as I clung to him.

“I have never met someone that has made my heart beat faster, or whose smile alone makes me smile.” I pulled away. He sat with a neutral face with tears running down his face. I cupped his face, trying to wipe his tears away. 

“Every time we have a moment alone, or something intimate happens between us, I keep thinking this is the connection I’ve dreamed about with you. I’ve had so many dreams of us together, and I can’t stop thinking about how much I want that. It hurts so much when you lash out at me for no reason and I just… can’t… don’t understand you and I want to. I heard what you said to Michael after we tried to negotiate with Haines and Norton.” Trevor’s eyes quickly focused on me, his face hadn’t even registered the panic he was feeling. “My heart practically stopped when you said all of that stuff. Wanting to hold my hand.” I gently grabbed his hand, caressing his knuckles and scars that were scattered throughout. Trevor’s eyes were glazed over, now looking away from me, tears still flowing. I didn’t know if my words were reaching him as he remained silent, giving me a dull stare. A small laugh escaped my lips. Trevor moved his eyes up and down my face.

“This reminds me of when I was trying to get on that train, and you stopped me.” I pressed my lips against his. It was gentle, and as I pulled away, I noticed how beat up and dirty he was. 

“Come on. Let’s take a shower.” I stood up, attempt to pull him with me. He didn’t move initially, but he stood up slowly, allowing me to lead him to the shower. He sat down in it, not wanting to stand. I crouched down, and started to take off his clothes. His body was covered in bruises. It was only with Trevor did I get embarrassed with taking off his pants. My face grew hot, and I scolded myself to not being more mature at a time like this. I turned on the water, that immediately shot out a hot temperature. Trevor sat there paying no mind, as I attempted in a panic to fix it. 

“Soap time.” Trevor remained still and silent as I cleaned him, only making a pained noise when I accidentally pressed down on a bruise. I heard a knock at the door. As I stood to answer it, a wet hand grabbed my wrist. I turned to see Trevor with pleading eyes.

“Please don’t leave me.” He murmured so quietly, I almost didn’t hear it. I went back to him, ignoring the door, as I began to clean him again. As I was cleaning his back, I heard his voice, but no words. 

“Trev?” I moved my head to look at his face. Water soaking my hair and back as I attempted to listen to what he said. 

“I want to be closer.”

“I don’t know what that means.” He looked at me, facial features still neutral. His eyes were red from crying. He moved one of his hands to the hem of my tank-top. My face grew hot again as I moved away.

“Is this what you want? Is this okay?” I was so unsure about this being interpreted later as me taking advantage of his emotional distress. He slowly turned towards me answering quietly,

“Yes. I want to be closer.” I moved to him, cupping his face.

“Are you sure?” He murmured a quiet yes as I began to undress. I stepped into the shower fully, crouching down again to wash him. I started to wipe his chest when he gently grabbed my hand with the cloth, trailed it down his chest and lower to his growing excitement. I felt his other hand tangle into my hair, as he pulled me into a warm kiss. We pulled apart, lips inches from each other.

“Is this okay?” He nodded as he pressed his lips to mine, continuing to move my hand up and down his shaft. He pulled my head away gently, kissing my face, up to my ear. His voice sent shivers down my spine as he spoke,

“I want you to suck my cock.” My face grew red at his asking, and squeaked as he bit my ear. 

“I-if you’re okay with it.” He kissed my ear, trailing back to my lips, before giving my head a gentle push downward. My stomach was full of butterflies as I dropped the cloth on the shower floor, and wrapping my hand around his cock. It felt hot in my hand as I nervously brought myself closer to it. It was an average size, yet still intimidating since I was a bit out of practice. I nervously licked the head, feeling his leg twitch in response. I opened my mouth slightly, allowing just the head to enter as I began to suck and move it around with my tongue. I heard him quietly groan. His hands roamed my back, the shower water slowly trailing down, dripping down my chin and arms. I attempted to put more into my mouth, only to realize it was too much and retreated back up to breathe. I took a deep breath, before going back down on him. He began to stroke my head, under his breath swearing as his hips began to move more of himself into my mouth. I pulled away to breathe. Trevor tangled his hand into my hair again, pulling me into another kiss. His other arm pulled me closer. My breath hitched up into my throat as I felt the tip of his cock teasing my entrance. My hands cupped his face as I moved to deepen the kiss, his tongue dancing with my own. He pulled away from the kiss briefly, speaking in-between,

“I want to be closer.” He pulled me into another kiss, moving his hands from where they were to grasp my hips. He gently pushed me down, his cock slowly entering me. I moaned into his mouth as he went deeper. He moved my hips at a constant and smooth pace onto him, my moans getting louder and while our faces were a short distance apart, our tongues continued to entangle in one another. He pushed me all the way, stopping to grind into me. He quickly grabbed my head, shoving his tongue into my mouth as I made noises I couldn’t describe. The grinding almost felt painful as he refused to let me ride him, holding my hips in place. A whimper left my throat, he stopped moving all together. He pulled away from the kiss, moving to my neck and breathlessly asking,

“I want you to beg for me.” He began to bite and suck on my neck. I shivered and squirmed, attempting to speak, but all words were lost on my lips. I could feel him pulse inside me.

“Tr-Trevor, please.” 

“More. Beg for me more…” He bit down harder, his tongue lapping at the flesh. 

“Trev… p-please. I want you.”

“Tell me what you want.” My face was red.  _ He really wants me to say it?  _ He ground into me, almost as a warning.

“P-please f-fuck me. I-I need you t-to fuck me.” He pulled away from my neck, kissing his way up to my ear, breathing into it, causing me to shiver. His hips moved gently upward, thrusting sharply into me. His voice was smooth as he spoke onto my ear.

“Is this what you wanted?”

“Y-yes.” 

“Fuck. You’re so tight.” His groans rang through my ear. The slapping noises between our two bodies echoed with the water in the bathroom. 

“I need more of you.” Trevor pushed me down, water hitting me in the face. I moved my hand up quickly to shield myself as Trevor reached up and turned off the water. 

“There we go. Now back to business.” He hovered over me, leaning down to place a quick kiss on lips before thrusting into me. His pace was frantic, going deeper and harder into me with each thrust. My body was being pushed forward, my hands quickly pushing against the wall of the shower so my head wouldn’t bang against it. He gripped my hips tightly. My body tightened as a cool heat washed over me, and my stomach fell into knots as I was slowly reaching my climax.

“P-Please don’t stop. I’m s-so close.” Trevor kept his pace, releasing my hips and grabbing my breasts. He gripped them tightly, kneading them and pinching them. I gasped as he grew rougher and rougher. 

“T-Trevor.” My toes curled as my climax washed over me.

“F-Fuck. I’m going to c-cum already.” He grunted. He leaned down, kissing me hard as the pace we had worked up became sporadic as he jerked violently, cumming deep inside me. We both breathed heavily as he practically rolled to the side. He kissed me deeply, before kissing me on the forehead, and pulling me into a warm embrace. His body was so warm compared to the chilling air that started to settle around us. 

“We should move. I don’t want you to get cold.” He kissed me again as we both got up from the shower.

* * *

We sat on the futon together. He had one leg up against the back of the futon and the other bent, foot flat on the ground. I lay between his legs, up against his chest. I wore a somewhat baggy shirt, my left shoulder exposed, and soft shorts. My knees were curled up to my chest as I rested on Trevor. His chest rose and fell steadily as my eyes attempted to close.

“Lily.” Trevor’s voice woke me up as I looked up at him.

“Ye-yeah?” He didn’t look at me as he leaned down, placing a gentle kiss on my forehead before asking,

“Di-did you mean what you said earlier?” I continued to look up at him.

“Yes… Yes I did.” He looked down at me, his eyes were soft. He leaned down further, placing a kiss on my lips. I sat up, facing him and wrapping my arms around his neck. His hands wrapped themselves around my back.

“I meant every word.” We moved in for another kiss until a loud bang came from the front door.

“Trevor! Open this fucking door!”  _ That voice.  _ I quickly stood up, running to the door. Upon opening it, I saw the face I wanted to see. The facial features quickly softened upon seeing my face.

 

_ Michael.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a really serious chapter. I have a lot of friends that suffer from depression and suicidal thoughts; I've lost a lot of friends to it. I had depression for a really long time [10 years about], and I'm now feeling the best that I have ever felt in the past few years. It took a lot of time and a lot of patience from those who stayed with me to the end.  
> To those who are suffering from depression, know that you aren't alone. There are resources and people around you who can and will be willing to help you in your time of need. 
> 
> National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255
> 
> Don't ever be ashamed or scared to get help. It's the first and hardest step to reach out. Know that you need to be your number one supporter! 
> 
> One reason behind this chapter and this story is for readers to understand that you don't need another person to complete you. It's okay to ask for help, but being completely reliant on thinking that a relationship will help you is just wishful thinking. I know a lot of people who go into relationships thinking that will solve all of your problems; it won't. 
> 
> The second reason behind this chapter is in honor of a friend whose parent just lost their own battle to depression.
> 
> Stay strong <3


	15. A Special Week of Ron and Lily

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Trevor's leaving, Ron and Lily are together for a week. With Steve and Dave harassing her with their own problems and Ron starting crap, Lily has a long week ahead of her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey my dudes! It's been so long!!! But, I've been busy with work and trying to get inspiration. So this story isn't dead, and neither am I! This chapter is hella long as I was asked to keep it as a single HUGE chapter (21 pages yo). So take your time and enjoy this long ass chapter I've created. Let me know what you guys think!

A Special Week of Ron and Lily

 

Trevor leaving suddenly, left Ron and I by ourselves. I walked back into the trailer, Ron still frozen in place. 

“Ron, Trevor left. I’m going to safely say it’s going to be awhile before he comes back.” Irritation in my tone, as I watched Ron looked between me and the door. He took a few steps back, before quietly walking forward, moving past me and leaving the trailer. I remained where I was, still as thunderous clouds began to come overhead. Rain beginning to pitter-patter against the top of the trailer, growing into a downpour quickly. My fists were clenched over the events of today. He dared to question me over something that I thought we could push behind us; that’s just stupid. Who cares how I escaped? Sure he viewed it as Michael stabbing him in the back, but he was doing something wrong. Who wouldn’t!? No one here, in this god-damn state, seemed to have enough logical sense or fucking anything to understand that maybe there’s a reason behind my actions and words. The hostility that I had been showing people was due to my position, even now. I was still a prisoner, just put into a larger playpen so as to give the illusion of freedom. I wasn’t sure what anyone was thinking.

A loud knock brought me back to reality. I turned towards the front door, opening it, only to come face to face with Steve Haines.

“Hey gorgeous.” My eye twitched violently as he pushed past me into the trailer. I groaned internally, gently pushing the door shut.

“How can I help you?” Irritation thick in my voice, almost sarcastic. He looked around, glancing at everything before finally turning around to me.

“Where’s Trevor?”

“Busy, what do you want?”

“That’s no way to speak to your boss.” Steve moved closer while I took a step back.

“I thought that was a one time thing?”

“It wasn’t. I actually need you to play it cool and come into work. I need you to act like a good little assistant. My superiors are putting me under a microscope in a couple days, and you and I need to look clean. We can’t have them know what we’ve been up to.” He was so close to me now, practically towering over me. I walked around him, practically hitting his shoulder as I did, moving to the middle of the room.

“That’s not my problem.”

‘Oh but it is.” He stated, turning around. He glared at me as he continued,

“Understand this; I gave them all of your information. They know everything about you. I mean I cleaned up some of the data, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t just completely change who you were. I needed it took look good, so I just pushed aside the fact that you were a missing person for a while. Completely wiped it from the system, and only put specific people on a need to know basis.”

“What about my parents?” I practically growled.

“They know… and there’s nothing they can do. I’ve made sure that they keep their mouths shut tightly, no peeps. It’s easy to get to people when you have someone or something they love. Listen, I just need you to continue being my assistant; you need to know everything that I do and what I’m doing. They’re going to put you under a microscope too if they haven’t already. Don’t worry; the only one coming out with clean hands is you. No problems, no issues.” My fists were clenched, digging into my hands, turning my knuckles white. My eyebrows were furrowed as I glared him down.

“I’m not some fucking doll that you can throw around trying to cover your ass. I-” Before I could say anything else, Steve’s large hand slapped over my mouth, pushing me down onto the futon. 

“I don’t need or want to hear that from you. I need you to do what I say so that I can make it out clean. You’re lucky you’re beautiful, because if you weren’t, I would have given you a special severance package.” He snarled with every word.

“I think… I need to teach you how to be a good assistant.” Before he or I could act, the sound of a gun being cocked rang through the room.

“Get up, and get out. Now.” Ron’s voice was a bit shaky but he sounded confident and serious. His gun was pointed at Steve’s head as Steve carefully turned around. Steve’s eyes widened as Ron stood trembling slightly. Steve chuckled as he slowly let me go, and put his hands up. Ron moved a step back, keeping his distance and watching Steve’s every move. 

“Ron Jakowski right? According to my sources, you aren’t a fan of the government.” Ron remained silent as Steve continued to talk. “I wouldn’t worry too much, we’re just watching your every move. You shoot me here and the government are going to put you on a fun little hitlist where we not only keep tabs on you, but we will follow your steps and echoes for the rest of your pathetic life. Wouldn’t want that would you?” Ron began to shake even more, his anxiety was beginning to get to him. I quickly got up.

“Steve, leave now.” I tried to sound stern, but Steve quietly looked at me before saying,

“You’re not in a position to make decisions. In fact, I’ll have you know, that those three cunts are fucking everything up. I’m going to make sure that they suffer for it. But…” He looked at Ron again, then slowly moved his focus to me. “I’ll cut you a deal. You give me what I want and I’ll let one of your friends go without consequence. I’ll completely wipe the record of whoever.” 

“You’re full of shit.” I angrily stated. “You want to me to play assistant, and you let one person go? Bullshit. You’ll probably betray me like you’re doing to them.” I stood my ground, with Steve lazily looked at me unimpressed. It almost seemed like he was expecting this answer. 

“Let me make this clear.” The front door opened to reveal Dave, aiming a gun at Ron. “You don’t exactly get a choice in this situation. You’re going to do as we say, comply and those three idiots can go on their way. And this idiot can live paranoid in his trailer that’s right next door.” Ron didn’t know who to place his focus on as I reached over and grabbed Steve’s gun, pointing it at his head.

“I’d take that back if I were you.” I took a step back, I didn’t want to give him any opportunity to take it back. Steve put his hands down, I responded by taking another step back. There was only far I could go, but I would react before I got cornered. 

“Listen-”

“Take one more step forward and I’m going to shoot your leg.” He flinched in response. He looked at my gun then my eyes, realizing almost too slowly that I was serious. He put his hands back up, and took a short step towards me. I fired the gun right next to his leg, entering the flooring of the trailer and exiting into dirt and sand underneath the trailer. 

“Next time, it’s your leg. Last warning.” Steve’s eyes were wide as Ron turned his gun towards Dave.

“Alright, alright! Chill out.” I glared at him as he continued to speak, “Listen, in order to keep those three and their associates safe; I need you to cover for them which means being my assistant.” He grit his teeth as I replied,

“I’ll do it,  _ only  _ for them and for you to get off Ron’s back. Do you understand me?” Steve fell silent. I shot the gun off again.

“What the f-”

“Do I make myself clear?” Steve looking painfully uncomfortable, spat,

“Fine! 8 o’clock tomorrow. SHARP.” Steve turned his back, knowing fully well he wasn’t getting his gun back. As he walked the front door, Dave lowered his gun and followed Steve out the door. Ron and I didn’t move until we heard a car drive off into the distance. We both sighed loudly.

“Can’t leave for two minutes without you getting into trouble.” I glared at Ron.

“Says the one who wouldn’t stop shaking in fear.”

“I was not! You are such a liar.”

“Oh? Steve proved my point that he’s watching you and Trevor. He probably knew about this place before they were even brought here. You can probably blame Trevor for that.” I scoffed at him.

“Trevor would neve-”

“Michael had told me that Trevor had fucked up by attempting to contact a dead man who he thought was in prison. FIB got a hold of it and knew his physical address for the entire duration of the correspondence between Trevor and Brad. That probably led to his associates, which includes you.” I interrupted, a wave of irritation rushed over me as Ron shook his head.

“Y-y-y-you’re wrong! It’s a lie.” I raised a brow, as Ron clutched his head with both his hands. He began to mumble to himself, pacing back and forth in the room. Whatever Trevor had done to him, it broke him. Ron was so dependent on Trevor, that he couldn’t live without him. That reliance was something Trevor needed. Consistent and stable in his life that he could control compared to the rest of it. Ron had a single creative outlet, that being his radio show but even then, Trevor probably had some minor control over that anyways. Ron’s phone began to ring, to which he quickly pulled it out and answered,

“Trevor? Yeah… I mean… sure… Of course, of course! I’ll get right to it.” A smile crossed Ron’s face as he hung up the phone and turned with a skip in his step towards the front door. As he was about to exit, he stopped and said,

“Trevor is my best friend. I’d like to believe that he wouldn’t betray me.” The front door shut gently behind him, leaving me alone in the trailer. I sighed loudly. 

 

_ What a pain in my ass.  _

* * *

 

I was guessing the 8 o’clock sharp was only meant for me as Steve was nowhere in sight. Dave stood next to me in silence outside of the FIB building. The tall building cast a long dark shadow that seemed endless with the pavement. 

“Hey.” Turning my head, I saw Steve walking in our direction. He wore a black suit and tie, something I didn’t think he’d actually wear. I had usually seen him in the field wearing jeans, a t-shirt and a large FIB jacket; him wearing this suit was throwing me off. He actually looked nice, but compared to Trevor, he just looked like some asshole in a suit. 

“Glad to see you’re wearing the appropriate clothing today. We have a 12 hour shift and you’ll probably have to work overtime.” Steve spoke quickly, walking through the front doors as Dave and I quickly trailed behind him. 

“We have a mix of new and old field associates who are supposed to go out today. We need to ensure all of the paperwork is correct before and after they leave.” As we entered an elevator, Steve turned towards me,

“Your first job is to sort through my emails to find all of the necessary papers, check for errors, reply whether or not they have to be corrected, if they don’t need to be corrected then give them an approval and then create a PDF copy of the paperwork to be filed away under our data system. You’ll probably have to start at the bottom of the list to make sure the ones who turned in their paperwork first will get approved, but you need to also check the scheduled time they are supposed to leave and ensure they leave at the correct time. You’ll have access to my computer, logins and about three computer screens. Try not to muck it up.” Steve turned back to the elevator door as it opened. He quickly walked out, Dave and I quickly trailing behind. It was a lot of information to take down, but I was sure I could do it.

“Any questions?” Steve motioned for me to sit in a chair, I quickly asked,

“What should I respond to those who have incorrect paperwork and have the possible consequence of being late for their scheduled leave time? What type of paperwork, responses or emails should I look out for that would require your time only? For those who have already missed their scheduled time, what should I write as a response and what paperwork would be for corrections? Is there a list of all of the paperwork required for each assignment? Does each assignment require different paperwork?” I sat down, looking up at Steve who had a confused look on his face.  _ I don’t think he expected me to ask questions… or pay attention _ . 

“Dave… you help her.” 

“What?” Steve quickly walked out, closing the door behind him. Dave sighed loudly, pulling up a chair beside me.

“Let’s just get this work done as quickly as possible.” I nodded.  _ Maybe I’m too into this.  _

Six hours later, and Dave and I had just finished the first large wave of assignment requests. Most of the paperwork was incorrect, or missing and some of the associates missed their scheduled times due to late responses on Steve’s part. Steve didn’t seem to be proactive in his office work, but I guess that’s the real reason why he wanted me here. I sighed, leaning back in the chair.

“If you’re done with that, I need you somewhere else.” Steve’s voice rang through my ears as I quickly stood up and faced him. Walking over to him, his face said something was wrong.

“Yes?”

“My supervisors want to speak with you. Remember the story.” Steve walked past me. 

“You know…” I started. Steve stopped and looked my way. “I have no idea where their office is. You may have given me a tour, but I’ve been here once since then and it’s been weeks.” Steve groaned.

“I thought you had a good memory.”

“Ah, but my new boss wouldn’t just leave me high and dry to get lost in a really big building that has no signs.” I smiled as Steve dragged himself out the door.

“Fine. Whatever.” He groaned. I smirked as he approached me. 

 

Steve walked at a quickened pace as we traveled through the halls and stairways of the FIB building. The doors to his supervisors were made of a dark wood, engraved with the name of the room at the top. Emerald. Steve motioned towards a young woman at a desk that was far to the right.

“There. Talk to Jennifer. She’ll let them know.” He suddenly moved close to my ear. “And be careful. Your friends and myself will be in bigger trouble if you drop the ball. And Jennifer is kind of feisty.” I gave him an unimpressed look before he shrugged his shoulders and walked away. Jennifer sat typing at her computer. Her black hair was up in a tight bun, and her brown eyes stared intently at the screen in front of her. As I gently approached her, it became more noticable how focused she was as she paid no mind to me. After a few moments, I called out.

“Excuse me? I was called here.” I tried to make my tone sound gentle and friendly, but she gave me a harsh glare before she replied,

“Ugh, hold on.” She sighed as she continued to type. I turned my head to a set of chairs that were up against a wall. I attempted to keep my focus on my hands or somewhere in the room as I sat down, but anxiety ran through me as the clock ticked loudly. The silence between Jennifer and I only grew louder as her typing echoed throughout the room. She sighed loudly, before speaking,

“Mr. Henderson, you have Steve’s assistant waiting for you in the lobby. Of course sir.” I heard her hang up the phone as she sighed loudly,

“He’ll see you in a minute.”

“Thank you.” I replied before looking at the clock again. She groaned as she spoke,

“You are definitely not how I imagined you.” I looked at her curiously as she raised a brow and stated,

“Steve described you as a sexy and sassy woman ready to throw shade at anyone who got in your way. You don’t seem to be any of that. I mean that skirt you’re wearing is kind of cute and the sweater is adorable on you, but you seem more like… a harmless little kitten.” It was my turn to curl a brow.

“Sorry for the disappointment but I don’t remember it being in my memo to dress to impress you. And it wasn’t until a couple of minutes ago that I even knew of your existence.” The woman’s face contorted with irritation.

“Well, you should dress to impress anyone that you meet whether or not it was planned.”

“Is that so?” I asked in a bored tone. She huffed.

“Yes! Ugh what does that man even see in you? He could have someone as great as me, but he has interests in someone, ugh, like you.” 

“If you want to get him interested in you, maybe you shouldn’t try so hard.” She suddenly perked up.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, he knows and I know, you’re clearly into him. Fuckin’ ignore the bastard.”

“Bast-bastard?! He’s amazing! I can’t believe you would say something like that!” 

“You don’t know him like I do. Listen,” I stood up, approaching her quickly. “Take your hair out of that bun and change it up a bit. That man clearly doesn’t like singularity. You have beautiful hair, do something else with it. You can still look professional and stylish. But don’t braid it or put in pigtails. You’re too old for that crap.” She slowly took her hair out of the bun, it was a lot longer than I thought it would be, but it was still nice. 

“Now keep it out like that, just fix it a bit. Don’t slick it back too much. And as for him, he may be my boss, but listen; that guy apparently has a thing for intimidating women. Don’t over do it, but next time be confident and forward. I don’t think he likes people dancing around certain subjects.” She nodded her head thoughtfully. If I could get Steve to like and date this chick, hopefully that man whore will stay away from me. 

“Ms. Phillips?” I turned my head to see another woman, dressed professional with her hair tied back in a pony-tail. “The board is ready to see you.” I nodded.

 

_ Hopefully this goes as planned.  _

* * *

 

 

“Ms. Phillips, you have been working with Haines for how long?”

“Just a little under two months sir.” The one speaking to me sighed. He was one of six that sat at a large round table. They all seemed to be around the age of 50 or 60. One of the men spoke up.

“I think we can cut the crap.” I began to feel nervous and confused as he continued. “We know that you’re a missing person from two states away. We also know that Haines has been conducting missions that have already been concluded to be beyond unethical in the use of company time and resources. We’re pretty sure he hasn’t figured out, we know the full picture. We know who he knows, what he’s doing, where he’s been going. We also know about Norton’s dealings but his actions are not as unethical as Haines. We’ve known about Norton’s dealings for quite a while, but haven’t dropped the ball as there’s no harm being done. That was until recently. An ex-con man with a thug rob a jewelry store. A crazed and wanted man kidnapping a college student who is qualified and at the same time not qualified to work here. That same college student miraculously escapes only to be recaptured by people from our group. We were lucky that you weren’t intercepted by Weston or Merryweather, but… I’m certain you could have gotten away had Haines’ influence not hit so many states at once.” Sensing the tension in the room, the man put his hand up,

“Don’t misunderstand this as a threat, rather we feel that the difficulties you have faced so far and how you’ve overcome those difficulties have been extraordinary. The only issue is, the people you are stuck with think we know nothing. We’ve watched every move they’ve made. Franklin Clinton and Michael  _ De Santa’s  _ interactions, crimes and families have raised an alarm. Philips’ company, associates and enemies are also close to raising an alarm. They are all well known strong powers in the community and had De Santa not made his move, we wouldn’t have him in the picture. But all in all, they are growing in terms of power and wealth that we can do little to control. There is someone who is going back and cutting off the lines that connect all of the together. We only know of their connections due to some of the knowledge Norton has permitted us to know, as well as previous events that dealt with De Santa and Philips. Although knowing the three of them, it’s only a matter of time, before they make a rather large move that we won’t be able to do about. That’s fine, those Merryweather people have it coming as well as Weston. Haines, though will be a major loss on our department but at the same time, we can not show a blind eye to the unethical practices he has been conducting. If we were to lose him, our ethical standards would only go up, stricter regulations and…” He paused, almost thinking for the right words. “What happens here on out with Haines, he shall be an example. An example to show not to mess with people who are quite bigger than him, and that the dealings he has been conducting will not go unnoticed or unpunished. Your history in itself shows that you have a bright future ahead of you. Let’s continue to harbor that and ensure that Haines nor Philips will ruin the opportunity for you to grow and follow your own life.” I sat in stunned silence as each man nodded. I hadn’t expected for it to go like this, but this was happening. The anxiety had vanished completely as he finished speaking. It seemed like they knew everything from the beginning and that they were doing the same thing I had been doing; playing dumb, pretending to turn a blind eye to it all, when in actuality they were paying close attention to each one of our moves. They truly are smarter than what they bring on. Who knew what else they knew about everyone, but at this point, I don’t think that matters.  _ I’ll have to tread lightly from here on out.  _ Silence fell into the room before another man cleared his throat and spoke,

“We ask that you keep an eye on Haines. I don’t know what kind of influence you have over him, but try to make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid. Sabotage what unethical plans and ideas he has left. I know the other three will be difficult but I… we know for a fact that in this situation, they not only have the upper hand but full control of everything. All we ask is for your help to ensure that no innocent lives are taken; that if there is a way for things to end peacefully, then do it. We’re not sure what that’ll take, but we are sure that you will make the right decisions in order to fulfill our wishes to the best of your ability. I, personally, would send a SWAT team after them… but right now we have bigger issues on our hands that deal with other departments of the government. So please, continue to play along with Haines and ensure that the citizens safety comes first.”  _ He’s using my history with people to the fullest. Of course I will try and protect innocent people; although he does know how difficult that will be. Grand manipulators these men are.  _

“I will. I’ll ensure to use the best of my abilities to ensure innocent lives aren’t lost and that Haines is kept under a tight leash until that example can be made of him.” The group nodded as I slowly stood. Another man spoke out.

“Please make Haines aware that you know you’re being carefully watched, but no worries. We know you’re being dragged into a lot more than you would like.” 

“Thank you.” I opened the door back into the lobby, where Steve stood in the middle of it. He seemed a bit antsy.

“You came to escort me back?”

“Wouldn’t want my assistant to get lost now, would I?” He nervously grabbed my hand with a death grip. I looked towards Jennifer, whose face had contorted into something of disgust and discomfort. Steve dragged me out towards the hall. I attempted to keep up, but I tripped over my feet several times before finally calling out to him.

“Steve! You’re hurting me.” He stopped, holding my hand even tighter as he looked around. We were in the small stairway between floors. Only the echoes of footsteps further downward could be heard, and then a heavy door slam shut as the footsteps disappeared. Steve looked at me, his face was flushed.  _ What the fuck happened?  _

“Steve, what’s wrong? What happened?” He let go of my hand; it throbbed as blood rushed back to it. He turned away almost in thought as I stood waiting for an answer. In the blink of an eye, my back was pushed up against the wall, and his lips were on mine. He was practically suffocating me as he pushed his body up against mine, trapping me. I reacted quickly trying to push him off of me, struggling to budge him as he shoved his tongue into my mouth. His hand reached up, grabbing my breast roughly as I tried to pull his hand away. I forced my knee between us, harshly kicking him away. I wiped my mouth as I spoke,

“What the fuck is wrong with you? What the hell happened?” Steve continued to stare down at the ground in silence. His chest was raising and depressing quickly.  _ Is he hyperventilating?  _ I walked over to him but still kept a nice distance between us. 

“Steve, I need you to take a deep breath. I don’t know what’s wrong, but I need to you to relax and tell me what’s going on.” He took a long deep breath, his chest shaking almost violently as he did so. He coughed as he tried to take another deep breath. He closed his eyes, slowly stood up and turned around.

“Apologies. I panicked. Nothing to be concerned about.”  _ What the fuck?!  _

“Okay?”  _ What was this guy playing at? He was clearly distressed!  _ He began to walk down the stairs swiftly as I trailed behind him. His silence grew more irritating as we entered Steve’s office, a clear tension between us as Dave attempted to speak.

“You didn’t need to leave, the situation is under control. No fuckin’ need for you to panic.” Steve glared at Dave as I asked,

“What is going on?” Irritation rang through my voice. Dave cleared his throat, replying,

“It’s none of your concern.”

“He sexually assaulted me, so it is.” Dave glared at Steve who had now moved to look outside his window out-looking the city.

“Steve has just been informed by a personal source that  _ someone _ has destroyed his home and planted evidence of unsavory acts to be found by the police. We believe it was Philips. We then received word that someone might storm the building looking to kill Steve.”  _ I’m surprised they’re even shocked at this point. Trevor is a complete hassle, what did they expect? _

“So what does that mean for Steve?” I questioned.

“Steve will be taken in and put under investigation. We don’t know how long he’ll be out, but until the investigation is complete, you and I will try to complete as much work as we can.” I looked at Steve.  _ What he did in the stairway was probably an act against Trevor; he was probably trying to do more in order to get under Trevor’s skin. But it’s very apparent that he realized fairly quickly it wasn’t going to work.  _ Steve’s eyes remained fixated to the outside.

“I’m guessing the higher-ups don’t know yet?”

“No one does.” Dave responded plainly. “Speaking of which, what did they want to speak to you about?” I looked at Dave and then returned my focus to Steve.

“It’s pretty obvious they have an inkling of what’s going on, but they’re going to keep a very close eye on me. Now that I’m under the microscope, this particular event will make matters worse. How should we proceed other than doing Steve’s work?” Dave turned towards Steve, waiting for an answer only to receive none. Dave sighed and replied,

“We’ll just have to be on our best behavior here on out. We’ll have to see about moving you into the city. I’ll have you do work remotely rather than you coming here. They’ll probably catch on where you’re living if you keep coming back and forth. Don’t do anything stupid.” The last bit seemed to be directly aimed at Steve. I sighed.

“Take me home please. I’ve had enough of this headache.”

 

_ I just want this day to end. _

* * *

 

 

Upon returning to Trevor’s trailer, the immediate smell of something burnt reached my nostrils. I covered my nose and mouth as I walked in. Ron stood panicking with a pan in his hand and black smoke emitting from too many places to count. I ran to the oven, quickly turning off the stove and oven. I took the pan from his hand, setting it down onto a cloth on the counter. I forced the door to stay open with a chair and opened all of the windows. The entire time, Ron sat on the futon, defeated. I carefully opened the oven door, black smoke immediately came out. When the smoke disappeared it revealed a broken glass dish with pieces of meat and potatoes that had been charred. I gave Ron a curious look as he shamefully looked at the floor. I took a deep breath. 

“Alright, we’ll wait until it completely cools and just start over.” I gently smiled at him. His features didn’t change. I sat down next to him quietly.  _ Oh, I might know something that will perk him up.  _

“Oh yeah, that asshole who was threatening us earlier?” Ron’s eyes shifted to look at me. “His house burned down. Sucks to suck.” Ron sighed loudly before stating,

“Yeah I know.”  _ Oh?  _

“Oh? Is that what you and Trevor were doing?”

“No. Trevor had nothing to do with it.”

“Oh.” I looked at Ron again. “Hey, what’s up?” He glared at me.

“What do you mean what’s up?”

“I mean, what’s up? Everybody seems pretty glum today.” Ron groaned.

“Nothing is wrong.”

“Sure, sure. You did just try to make food and fail. Nothing wrong there.” We sat in silence as cicadas sang loudly outside. Ron sighed before speaking,

“I hate it when Trevor gets like this. He’s gone off doing who knows what and doesn’t want to talk to me. I’m his best friend and yet he can’t even let me know what’s bothering him. I know I’m useless and a piece of shit, but if I can’t even do this one thing, which is to be there for him, then what kind of friend am I?” He clenched his fists, gritting his teeth as he groaned in frustration.  _ Does this always happen when Trevor’s gone? Or just now?  _

“Does he do this a lot?” Ron glared at me.

“He’s only started to do this since you got here. He used to disappear for days on end but I always knew what was wrong. It didn’t matter where he was going, what mattered was that he told me. He used to talk to me. I hated you from the beginning because of what you did to him. I’ll never forgive you for that.”  _ What I did to him?  _

“What do you mean what I did to him? What about what he did to me?!” I stood up, facing him with my hands on my hips. “Did you forget you psychopaths killed a man and then kidnapped me?! What is up with everyone bringing up the past?! I just got fucking sexually assaulted by that fucker in the suit and now I gotta deal with your shit?! You want me to bring up the past then fine, I will! I hated you from the beginning too because you blame me for all kinds of things! Maybe that’s why he doesn’t want to talk to you! Because he knows that you’re going to either blame yourself or push the blame on others when he knows perfectly well he’s the problem. You’re trying to enable him and he doesn’t want that. He wants to be told he’s wrong because he knows that he is! If you don’t have the backbone to even tell him when he’s messed up, I wouldn’t want to talk to you either! You’re just giving him false hope which is something that he doesn’t want! You are a terrible friend because you pout and whine until someone gives into you! Even when someone wants to be your friend, you are a completely fucking child! There! Now tell me what the fuck I did to him?! I told him the truth, so I don’t see a fucking problem!” I was breathing very heavily as Ron sat shocked and speechless. He stuttered over his words for a bit until he stopped trying to speak. I stood waiting for an answer as to what I did wrong. 

“You…” He paused almost as if proving I was right. “He fell in love with you as soon as he saw you. I saw it in his eyes. He gets a certain way when he’s enamored by someone. He fell so hard for you that the few times he actually talked to me… all he could talk and think about was and still is you. But now that I think about it… hearing you say all of that… I realize that I had told him to forget about you, and that you were a prisoner who would never fall in love with a guy like him. I… said the wrong thing. I was so jealous that he would only think of you, that he would leave me behind. I was terrified of being left alone after I had already lost everything before. I’m still so jealous that most of his actions are because of you. You have so much influence in his life that it hurts.” Ron’s head fell. “When I went off to help him with… a thing, all he could ask about was you. It hadn’t even been that long yet all he wanted to talk about was you. All he could think about was how to make it up to you. And you’re right. I was a terrible friend. I told him that there was no point in trying and said how terrible you were and didn’t deserve to be with him. He looked at me, and it’s hard to describe the look in his eyes but he told me it was the other way around. He didn’t deserve to be with you. I never thought I would hear him say anything like that… but he did and now I feel more lost than ever. You’ve told me all of this and maybe you’re right. Maybe I’ve gotten this whole thing wrong.” His hands were intertwined with each other and the expression on his face was not one I expected to see. It was in a deep frown, he looked close to tears, struggling to just keep everything together. I felt a sharp pain, something akin to regret but I meant every word I said. I did feel bad that he had gotten to his conclusion this way and must have realized that his words do have an effect on Trevor. But then again… maybe not. I wasn’t sure what was going through Ron’s mind right now. I did consider him a friend, a not so great one, but a friend nonetheless. I approached him carefully. 

“Ron.” I wrapped my arms around him, gently pulling him into a hug. He didn’t respond. “I think you got some things wrong, but not all of them are. You were right; I was a prisoner, why would I want to date someone like him? But now, it’s different. Our relationship is different. Trevor, I think in a way, does want your support even if he has a terrible way of showing it. I think you need to work on becoming a better friend for him and maybe think about the situation as a whole rather than your hatred for me at the moment. I know you hate my guts, and you’re probably beyond uncomfortable right now, but I want you to understand that I do consider you a friend. A friend who needs a little work, but a friend nonetheless.” I moved away from him. He had a blank look on his face, eyes were wide open and seemed distant. I didn’t expect him to reply,

“I don’t hate you.” I looked at him curiously.

“For someone who doesn’t hate me, you sure have a funny way of showing you don’t.” Ron shrugged,

“I don’t set houses on fire for someone I hate.” My heart dropped. I had honestly thought it was done for Trevor or for at least himself, but to think it was actually done for me, turned my brain into a mess.  _ I DON’T KNOW HOW TO FEEL ABOUT ANY OF THIS _ . 

“Th-that wasn’t done for Trevor?” I stuttered shyly. Ron looked away.

“No.” He stated plainly.  _ Oh yeah, it’s totally not a big deal fOR ONE OF US.  _ As Ron looked back at me, he spoke again,

“I was trying to make it up to you… I know I haven’t been that great, and that whole thing with that asshole in the suit just made all of my stress boil over. I also know that you were also upset about Trevor, and that just proves my point and yours that I clearly wasn’t there for you when you needed it. I’m… I’m sorry.” I was shocked. I honestly didn’t think he would apologize, not in a million years but he found a way. His facial features turned into concern.

“Is it true… what you said about that guy sexually assaulting you?” I folded my arms across my chest and nodded. Ron said nothing after that as the room began to smell less like burnt food and I began to start cooking. Even during the meal, no words were spoken between us; almost as if there didn’t need to be. Near the end of the night, as I settled in, Ron got up to leave. As he approached the open door, I called out,

“Thank you.” Ron said nothing as he gently shut the door. I closed my eyes, heavy from emotional and physical exhaustion.

 

_ What a fuckin’ day. _

* * *

 

 

“That’s not how that works.”

“Well I wasn’t asking for your opinion.”

“It’s not an opinion, it’s a fact.” Ron glared at me as I stared down at him attempting to cook. I sighed as he continued to scrape the bottom of the pan. I cringed at the sound.

“You are over exaggerating! It’s not that bad!” Ron barked. “Maybe I shouldn’t have offered to cook.”

“I don’t mind you cooking! I just mind that you’re fuckin’ up the pans and burning the food at the same time!” Ron glared at me.

“You always act like you know  _ everything _ when it comes to cooking!”

“I do, because I know how to cook something edible! I’ve tasted your cooking and it almost killed me.”

“That was an accident.”

“Shuore.” Ron continued to give me a look of irritation as I stared in disgust at the pan of food. It was supposed to be ham and eggs, but the ham had been burnt to a crisp and the eggs look so horridly revolting that I couldn’t bring myself to look at them for long.

“It’s because you left them in the pan for too long.” I stated plainly.

“I like them this way.”

“Alright enjoy, I’ll just make my own food.”

“You don’t have to! I made you food and it’s ready right now!” My face contorted further into disgust.

“Yeah… I don’t think so. I appreciate the thought but that food will literally make me sick and I still have work to do.”

“That’s why I made you food in the first place, so you could work and eat! You wouldn’t have to worry about cooking and I wouldn’t have to hear you complain about working and cooking!”

“When did I complain about that?!”

“You haven’t… yet!” Ron seemed to be anticipating the impossible because there was no way in hell I would complain about only doing two things in a single day. Sure I did other things, but they weren’t that hard and Ron could barely multitask at the same rate I did. Ron had specifically received a call, most definitely from Trevor, and suddenly started doing stuff for me. His attempt to clean and cook have been fruitless as things were still somewhat dirty, or made food completely inedible. I shook my head.  _ This guy. Whatever Trevor told him, he’s clearly trying to take care of me when I’ve been doing it pretty darn well by myself.  _

“Fine, I’ll try a bite.” I sighed defeated. Ron nodded confidently as he handed me a plate of burnt food. Taking a small bite, I felt the urge to gag as the bitter taste of extremely burnt egg touched my taste buds. I covered my mouth in an attempt to suppress the feeling. As I tried to chew, I could feel my body convulse in disgust as I continued to eat. After the first attempt to swallow, I turned my head to the trash can, spitting it out and loudly gagging. Ron rolled his eyes and groaned.

“You’re being over dramatic.”

“Says you. You eat that shit.” I spat back. I wiped my mouth and focused back on Ron who was now glaring at me. He grabbed my plate, and shoveled a large bite into his mouth. His face immediately gave away to how he felt about his own food. He began to look sickly as he forced himself to continue chewing. 

“You can just admit at any time that you suck at cooking.” He swallowed before speaking,

“It was-” He immediately flew to the trash can, grabbing a hold of it before hurling. I turned away with a smug look on my face.

“Sucks to suck. Should have just listened to me.”

“Shut u-” Ron was interrupted by him loudly gagging. I laughed as he quickly spat it out in the trash can. 

“I think I’m gonna be sick.” Ron groaned from the other side of the counter.

“Almost as if I predicted it.” I smirked. Ron looked up in irritation and disgust as I continued to grin victoriously down at him. Ron wiped his mouth, angrily speaking,

“I don’t think your cooking is that great either.”

“Oh, whatever. You’re just salty that you suck. Also, you’ve never complained before.”

“It was my only option.” Ron crossed his arms across his chest, glaring at me. 

“Oh, please. You couldn’t cook even if your life depended on it. I’ve seen your trailer, you have fast food trash fuckin’ everywhere.”

“Yes I can!”

“No you can’t!” Ron and I argued back and forth before we both yelled,

“Then prove it.” We glared at each other as Ron turned around to leave,

“I’ll be back tomorrow, so you better be ready!” I quickly reached into a pot below the counter, a water balloon came into my grasp. I chucked it, hitting him directly in the back of the head. Water sprayed everywhere as it exploded, most of it pouring down his back. He stopped in his tracks, clenching his fists tightly. After a few moments of standing in complete silence, he moved again, slamming the door behind him. I sighed. 

 

_ Welp, I’m probably going to pay for that. _

* * *

 

“Are you sure you guys want to have me be the judge?” Chef gave Ron and I a very cynical look.

“Absolutely.” We stated at the same time. Chef sighed and shook his head as he stared down at two plates. Ron had come in early, dragging Chef behind him. I didn’t expect him to actually have rules and a judge.

 

“I’m laying some ground rules. We do three courses; breakfast, lunch and dinner. I’ve also made a list of food that we will be making, nothing too fancy or big.” Ron handed me a sheet of paper. It was a simple enough list, bacon and eggs with pancakes for breakfast; a burger and fries for lunch; and a steak with mashed potatoes and corn for dinner.  _ These are his favorites from what I make.  _ I looked back at Ron who quickly grabbed it back. He leaned on the counter replying,

“Now, no cheating. I’ll make sure you don’t do something weird like using boxed potatoes or something.” My eye twitched.

“Shouldn’t I be saying that to you? Do you even know how to make mashed potatoes? Can you even make pancakes?”

“Of course I do. Who doesn’t?” He spat.  _ Oh, if this fucker cheats…  _ I glared at him as he began to look around the kitchen. 

“We don’t have enough pans…” I rolled my eyes.

“Maybe it’s because  _ someone’s  _ boss broke half of the shit in the trailer and we no longer have the same things that we used it. Just an idea.” Ron glared at me as I shrugged my shoulders. 

“Also, with everything you’ve listed, who are we going to have to eat our food? We certainly can’t do it, you’ll cheat.” I stated firmly. Ron sighed loudly,

“Fine, I’ll make a call.” Ron pulled out his phone, which I quickly snatched out of his hands,

“Me too. You might call someone who will only like your crummy cooking.” Ron walking around the counter to retrieve the phone, yelled,

“Give that back!”

“Nope.” I began to flip through his phone contacts as we walked around the table. He attempted to chase me, but with what little room we had, he couldn’t exactly run. Franklin’s name appeared on the contact list. Clicking the call button quickly, I placed the phone up to my ear as I pushed a chair directly in front of Ron who tripped over it.

“Yo, whatchu want?”

“My dude! It’s Lily!”

“Hey girl! Why you got Ron’s phone?”

“Cause I needed to make a call, and you’re the only person I wanted to call.”

“Makes sense, but I am a little busy.”

“I’ll make it quick.” I pushed another chair in front of Ron, which he tripped over again. He groaned in pain.

“Listen, Ron is being an asshole, and I need someone to judge our food for a cooking contest he wants to do because he can’t just admit he sucks.” 

“Ah man, I’d like to, but I gotta look for Michael.”

“It’s all good. Good luck man. Hey have you heard from Trevor?”

“After him tellin’ me to fuck off? No.”

“Aight. Thanks.” I quickly hung up as Ron continued to give chase.

“Who are we calling next Ron?”

“I’ll make the call!” Ron yelled quickly.

“But I already have the phone in my hand.” 

“Just give it back!” The phone rang, and I quickly answered. I had to focus on Ron.

“Yello.” Silence.

“Yello?” I could hear a sniffle in the background and then a click. I took no chance to look at the phone as I continued to watch Ron chase me.

“Oh great! That may have been an important call!”

“Wasn’t important enough for them to talk to me.” Ron, baring his teeth, shouted,

“Just give it back!” 

“I can make the call! I’m totally able.” I snickered as the phone rang again. I answered quickly with Ron throwing a fit in the background.

“Yello, part 2?” Silence. I started making popping noises with my mouth in anticipation for some answer but when none came, I began to grow concerned.

“Don’t know who I’m talking to right now, but hear me out. Ron is being boring. I’m going to assume you know him since you know his phone number and all that jazz.” Silence.

“I’ll just start ranting, one of us has to make conversation.” Silence again. I took a deep breath.

“So one of the last things, I talked about with someone was that everything was a soup, salad or sandwich. I know sounds really weird right? But it also makes sense when you think about it. Let me give you an example; you have a hamburger right? In a bun, it’s a sandwich. Now it would become a salad if you added way too many vegetables and it couldn’t keep its original shape, then the buns becomes croutons.. Now it becomes a soup, when you add waaaay too ranch or dressing and it begins to float. Now a sandwich can become a salad, and a salad can become a soup, but a soup can’t become a sandwich or a salad. Ya feel?” I heard a snicker on the other side, almost as if they were trying to hold back a laugh.

“Stop being stupid and hand over the phone.” Ron yelled, tripping over another chair.

“No. I’m not done yet. Anyways, so take a burrito, technically it’s a sandwich because the innards are being contained very nicely. Did you know tacos are just half-assed burritos? I’m getting side-tracked. Anyways, as soon as you add like a too many vegetables, and the tortilla busts open, then it’s a salad. And the tortilla is now a crouton. Add too much salsa- now it’s a soup. See everything grows into another, but it can’t go backwards. You reach sandwich, and it’s either a salad or soup. I mean technically if you had a spring roll, that’s a salad rolled into a sandwich, but I don’t think there are many examples of going back. I mean soup is the end of that line, you can’t become a sandwich at the soup stage, that would be nasty. Anyway-”

“Give me the fucking phone Lily! If I trip over one more goddamn chair, I am going to start throwing them at you.” I sighed loudly.

“Ugh, listen my idiot here is getting on my nerves, I’ll let ya go.” Only silence. I shook my head, quickly kicking a chair back at Ron.

“Bye?” I questioned. A small click was heard. I looked back at Ron who seemed mildly irritated.

“I’m… going… to kill you.”

“Shuore. But after I whoop your ass in this cooking competition.” I tossed the phone in Ron’s direction, who scrambled to catch it. 

 

_ I wonder who was on the other side… _

* * *

 

“Anyways Chef, since our other judges can’t make it, you’re going to take a couple bites of each and determine whose is better.” Chef groaned.

“What am I eating?” Ron gently placed a piece of paper in front of him.

“Here’s a full list of everything we’re making for you today. Sorry you’re the only one but it’s better than none.” Ron stated.

“Could just admit defeat.” I said plainly. Ron turned his head quickly to glare at me as Chef lazily looked over the list. 

“Fine, let’s just get this over with.” Chef sighed.

“Please time us.” I waved at Chef. He nodded weakly before pulling out his phone. 

Standing in the kitchen, both of us had two burners. On my side were Trevor’s old pans, fucked up by Ron and Trevor. Ron, that lucky bastard, went and bought his own pans. Non-stick and rather nice looking, he grabbed one of the handles, picking up the larger pan and placing it on a burner.  _ My poor pans look so crummy and onE OF THEM DOESN’T EVEN HAVE A HANDLE.  _ I looked at Ron was an irritated gaze as Chef set up the timer.

“30 minutes and… go.” Ron and I began to work at lightning speed.  _ Going with a fluffier pancake might do me well, but I’m going to have to think what the pans are going to do to the texture and presentation of the pancake. They might not do too well if I put too much butter or oil in the pan. But the buttery taste will do better than the oily.  _ I quickly began to stir all of my ingredients together, every now and then folding the batter. I looked over at Ron who looked like he was doing pretty well with the pancake mix, until he attempted to pour a little salt into a teaspoon. His hand slipped, dumping a little over a cup into his mix. I stifled my laugh as I went to pour in my first pancake. Small, but it would have to do. Taking the smaller pan, I quickly grabbed several strips of bacon and placed them in. I was going to use most of the bacon fat to fry the egg, while Mr. Non-stick over there could just add nothing. When I turned my head towards Ron again, he was placing a small amount of oil into his pan and then proceeded to pour a rather large amount of pancake into the pan. I looked in exasperation as he stood waiting for his pancake to cook. I flipped over mine gently, praying that it wouldn’t stick to the pan. It didn’t cling too badly but it was definitely going to need more butter after each pancake.  _ At this rate, I’ll go through an entire stick of butter.  _ I looked back at Ron. He must have realized that his spatula was too small of the pancake and nervously looked at the pan. With the bubbles quickly popping on the back, it became apparent that he had little to no choice, to either flip now or let the pancake burn. I gently flipped the bacon as he nervous grasped the pan handle and in a strange and indescribable motion throw the pancake straight into the air and onto the ceiling. It quickly came back down, splitting in half on the pan and then splattering all over the stove. I quickly looked at his face, as he silently looked up at me slowly. We both looked at each other as I placed a pancake onto a plate. I burst out laughing as his pancake caught on fire. He began to panic and look around frantically. I placed another pancake into the pan, flipped the bacon and then took his pan and tossed it into the sink. I stepped backwards, grabbing some baking soda and gently pouring it over the fire. The flames quickly died out, and I moved back to my spot, focusing on my food again.  _ Oh, this is going to be a long day.  _

The plates that were in front of Chef contrasted greatly. Mine looked like the idea of perfect. The pancakes had no stick, were fluffy and light. The bacon was a mix of slightly crunchy and chewy and the egg had broken when I got it out of the pan but at least not into the pan. The bacon fat turned out not to be enough but it came out all the same. Ron’s plate though. His plate was a plate. The pancakes looked okay, but I knew what went into those fuckers and I highly doubted they would taste as good as they looked. The bacon came out incredibly dark. One touch and they would disintegrate in your hands. The egg was scrambled as there was a major fuck up in him trying to just crack the egg into the pan. I was positive that there was an egg shell in it.

 

Of course this round went to me. Chef seemed pretty pleased with mine, and nearly threw up with Ron’s. 

“It’s really salty.” Chef stated with a hoarse voice, tears in his eyes. I grinned at Ron as Chef named me the winner.

“We still have two more rounds.” Ron gritted his teeth and walked back to the stove. I shrugged my shoulders, merely following behind him. 

 

Burgers and fries are decently easy in my opinion. A well made hamburger patty with some light seasoning fried in some oil. After a short while, some thinly sliced cheese is gently placed over, melting into its crevices and expanding the flavor. An onion is then placed on top to give a contrasting crunch. Two buns were gently fried in a non-oiled pan and then everything is placed together. For the fries, some freshly cut potatoes that weren’t too wet from a quickly and gently warm wash. Then fried into some medium-low to medium heat. Upon being golden brown, they are taken out and placed on a plate covered with a paper towel. Then salt and pepper are gently sprinkled over in order to give flavor, waiting for a quick cool for everything to come together onto a single plate. 

My burger and fries were treated with care and they came out nicely enough that I wanted them for myself. Ron on the other hand… I felt pretty bad for the burger. He dumped in as many seasonings as he could and then smashed the burgers in the pan. The juices bubbled and popped unto Ron’s arms which caused him to cry out and rub his arms in pain. His fries were a whole different disaster. I didn’t watch too much as I was focused on my own work but at the end I saw maybe 9 crinkled and black wedges that Ron decided that the best course of action was to pour vinegar on for flavor. Whatever recipe taught him that, should have also taught him that too much vinegar will kill the taste, but in this case might actually improve it. 

“Yeah, I ain’t tryin’ that.” Chef motioned towards Ron’s plate. “I’ll try the burger, but I won’t try those fries. They don’t look like fries…” Chef taking a bite out of Ron’s burger seemed to think very hard on it before swallowing and continuing, “Your burger is a bit dry. All of the juices are pretty much gone and it’s decently flat so I know that you squished the hell out of it. You’ve also put way too much seasoning to the point where I don’t really taste anything but a confusing mess. It’s edible but you’ve done too much to actually make it tasty. This round goes to Lily as well.” I clapped my hands together.

“You sure you want to go for the last round?” I looked at Ron from the corner of my eye, hands still together.

“Yeah! Let’s just fuckin’ do this!” 

 

Steak, mashed potatoes and corn- the ideal dinner. One of my personal favorites and something I looked forward to making. Starting with the potatoes, I quickly peeled and cut into a large pot with water. The problem would be the lack of a third burner but I had a trick up my sleeve to remedy that problem. I salted the potatoes and moved onto the steak. For some reason, don’t ask me why, but Ron gave me a piece with a huge amount of fat. My eye twitched in irritation as Ron’s cut of steak had minimum fat.   _ Oh, you fucker.  _ Continuing the cooking process, we both went without any problems for a while. This seemed to be something Ron was actually okay at, until he touched my pan. I had been busy with the microwave, cooking my corn. He took the steak that I was cooking and placed it in his, removed his and placed it into my pan. I felt a tinge of anger run through me. I knew what he did to his steak. It seemed normal enough but if he wanted to play that game, then I would do that too. I quickly took a small piece of his steak and tasted it. It didn’t taste terrible, but it didn’t taste great either. Quickly adding more things to it, and turning down the heat, I moved to the other side of the counter to grab a pot. He didn’t know what I was doing with the pot and that didn’t matter. 

“Ah, the heat’s getting kind of bad, isn’t it?” I moved to a window and quickly opened it. My hand reached outside, pulling loose a small string. A gentle knock was heard at the door as I swiftly walked back to the pots. Ron turned his head towards the door, walking over to open it. As he did, I pulled out a small bag of flour. I quickly opened it and poured the whole thing into the boiling potatoes. I hid the bag in my apron pocket and grabbed a pot. Ron shook his head, as no one was at the front door and walked back to the stove and began to cook again. As Ron and I was finishing up, he went to pour out the water of his pot. The flour did better than I expected as I already knew that he over-boiled the potatoes into mush. They had mixed into one jelly monstrosity. I quickly turned away as he attempted to figure out what to do with what little time he had. At the end of it, I was pretty sure that Ron was going to cry. I felt kind of bad over the whole thing to be honest. I mean he did cheat first, but for once I felt like I had gone over the line. Well I did feel like that until I noticed that he stole my corn and he hadn’t cooked any. I quickly popped some in the microwave, wondering why I even felt bad for that cheating bastard.

 

“Hmmm… Let’s see Ron’s first.” Of course my steak tasted fucking great, I’m the one who did it, but that lame ass was getting the credit. Corn was great too but the mashed potatoes suffered hard. They couldn’t even be considered anything.

“Everything is good except that monstrosity. Now let’s try Lily’s.” I had tried hard to actually fix the steak by adding butter and garlic to it, an attempt to give taste, but I wasn’t sure I could do anything to help it. 

“The steak is okay. I was hoping for a bit more flavor and the corn is a bit overcooked. The mashed potatoes are great, but I’m a little disappointed. Ron gets this one.” After he finished his sentence, his phone went off.

“Hey- yeah. Okay I’ll be right there!” He stood up and as he ran out the door yelled,

“I still say Lily wins!” 

“What?!” Ron yelled, looking at me with anger.

“What do you mean what?! I won the first two rounds and you fucking cheating in the third you rotten bastard!”

“You cheated too!”

“You cheated first!” As we bickered back and forth Ron finally yelled,

“You know what?! You may have won the food but I’m going to win the day!” Flabbergasted, I yelled,

“What the fuck does that eve-” Before I could finish my words, Ron quickly grabbed my face and smashed his lips again mine. He quickly shoved me back as I stood red faced and stuttering.

“Wha- wh-why- WHAT?!” Ron quickly walked out the door.

“Enjoy the mess.”

“What?!

_ Motherfucker. _

* * *

 

The next day, I was still thinking back to Ron.  _ That @*!&.  _ But for the entire day he didn’t show up or even make a peep. I was going to pay him back for what he did, but he never appeared or came home for me to do what I had wanted. It was one of the few days I was without him and for once I had the best plan to get back at him. But the day went on without him.

 

_ I’ll pay him back later. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah ha! Hello! You make it to the end! Took me two months to write this bad boy, but it happened. Also here's Lily's pancake recipe:
> 
> 2 cups of Flour  
> 2 tbsp of baking powder  
> 2 cups of milk  
> 2 eggs  
> 6 tbsp of butter
> 
> It's originally a Tasty recipe but I had to alter it to make it smaller and not take four hours to cook a butt ton of pancakes. Also instead of separating the yolks and whites, just put the eggs in completely and it actually tastes better!


	16. Breaking Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lily and Michael are reunited; Lily lends an ear to Trevor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all! This has taken me so many months to write because I didn't know what I wanted this chapter to be and yet HERE I AM WITH A FREAKING CLEAR VIEW OF WHAT I WANT. After several months of struggling, I finally have something cohesive!  
> Please let me know what you think! Thanks for reading and thank you for all of the comments <3

I immediately opened the door wider, embracing Michael. He responded by hugging me tightly.

“Hey kid. Glad to see you’re okay.” His voice sounded like it was going to break as I let go, allowing him to walk in. I closed the door behind him. Trevor now stood from the futon, his facial features still soft.

“What the fuck took so long for you to open the door? Your maid has been waiting outside for a while sulking about something.” 

“Well, I was a little busy.” Trevor quietly stated. “What do you want?” Michael looked at me first and then him before speaking again.

“I came to talk to you about the big one.” Trevor’s eyes lit up.

“The big one?”

“The big one.” Trevor looked around.

“Well we need the kid and we need the nerd.” Trevor had a huge grin on his face. 

“Well…”

The door opened again; Franklin and Ron walked in followed by the man with the cane, Lester. I watched Ron walk across the room a little awkwardly. He stood on the other side of the counter. As our eyes locked, I could feel my face grow hot, quickly turning away. Michael motioned Lester to the futon, who sat down with a quiet groan. Trevor came to stand next to me.

“Stay away from that one.” Trevor whispered to me. “We call him Lester the Molester for a reason.” I cringed at the nickname, it didn’t sound pleasant to say the least. 

Trevor’s hand grasped mine, as we waiting for Lester to speak. Franklin took a seat on the counter, as Michael joined Lester. Lester’s eyes roamed around the room, lazily looking over each of us before his voice reached our ears.

“Will Lily be joining us?” Lester sounded sarcastic, a hint of rudeness underlining his voice. 

“Depends, you gonna be sassy the whole time?” Lester gave me a defeated look before stating,

“It would be best if you did. We need someone with your expertees.” I shook my head. Everyone had a strange look on their face as Michael stated,

“Why not?” Trevor had even taken a step away in order to look at me clearly. Franklin’s face remained unchanged. 

“This might not come as a shock to some of you, but… I’ve got a lot of eyes on me. A lot more than I thought. If I get involved, I’ll lose the opportunities that are legal and ahead of me. It also would greatly affect your work. You wouldn’t be able to do anything.” When their facial expressions remained unchanged, I looked towards Lester. I began to question him,

“You don’t…?” His face had a strange mixture of shock and confusion, I stated,

“You don’t know.” My mind began to race. It seemed like this was only verbal information and those men were smarter than everyone thought, also full of many surprises. I waved my hand,

“It doesn’t matter; keep it to yourself. If I get involved, you wouldn’t be able to move an inch with the FIB knowing. Those higher-ups know what’s up, and what Steve knows is nowhere near what they know. So it’ll be best if you don’t associate with me for a while in relation to the crime you guys are about to commit. They already know something is up, so it’s best if you don’t give them the opportunity to intercept you by speaking with me. But I do ask that you guys go in as carefully as possible as I’ve been asked to ensure that no innocent lives are lost. So you guys need to promise me you guys aren’t going to be shooting up any corner stores or banks or fuckin’ anything like that.” In my failed attempt to remain calm, my leg had begun to shake violent from anxiety.  _ Would they be listening in on this conversation? How would they be monitoring it? Hopefully they don’t tell me enough for them to get in trouble. Conspiracy might be worse than the actual answer.  _

“The… the big one is a bank.” Michael stated slowly, but immediately raised his hands up in defense, “But it’ll be too dangerous for us to shoot that one up. I can promise that I won’t do anything stupid, but I can’t speak for the other two.” I looked towards Franklin and Trevor.

“Yo, I promise. It be best if we didn’t fuckin’ make a big show. Less chance of getting away with this shit.” Franklin said confidently. Trevor remained silent, staring at me.

“Trev?” I questioned. His facial features will indescribable. I wasn’t sure what he was thinking or what he wanted. He probably wanted to let loose or wreck some type of havoc, but I needed to ensure that innocent people weren’t going to die just because he wanted to let out some steam. He remained silent, finally turning away from me. I continued.

“We’ll talk about it later, but anyways, this particular conversation should end now. I don’t want you guys having to stop your plans just because I’m in the same room.”

“For somebody who’s on the good side of the law, you sure are letting them do something super illegal.” Ron’s sarcastic voice met my ears, as I turned my head slowly towards him, replying,

“I know which bank their going to hit, it’s not that hard to narrow it down. Also that particular bank is supplying to illegal activities of their own. They are backing certain companies so that those companies can’t fail if they outsource their workers, which is why Weston is such a huge fan of keeping his money there. He is somebody who is constantly investing in something new but also things that he knows won’t fail because with just his investment alone he can tip the odds in his favor. He doesn’t have to know whether or not the stocks are going to go up, he just has to know that the investment he is going to make, is going to expansion of a particular company or product that he knows will succeed. He’s not stupid in terms of his investments. But he is stupid in that he is one of the many people who are using that bank for conducting such illegal activity. He’s backing merryweather, who are conducting their own projects on US soil, and they are also storing some of their money in that bank because of the certain rates and the safety of the transfers. You also have to remember that the bank are probably backing important mob members within the community so that they can get more business. I don’t care whether or not Trev and the others take money for them because most of that money is dirty and who knows how many people have already been hurt because they want to have their business to have stature within Los Santos.” Ron sat quietly in the corner, deep in thought, as I turned back around. The other four men, remained in place, looking around the room. 

“Well then… we’ll have to make another place our site of operation.” Lester sighed, standing up carefully, Michael hurriedly in tow to help. Franklin and Trevor remained quiet as the two left the trailer, hastily turning to me, Franklin speaking first,

“Okay so what the fuck happened?” Raising a brow, I asked,

“What are you talking about?”

“Usually you two dumb fucks are arguing with each other to no fuckin’ end. Acting like god damn children and just over all being fuckin’ annoying. But here you both are, completely civil.” Ron cleared his throat and spoke,

“I thought about what you said. We sat down, had a chat and cleared up our differences.”

“Sitting down and having a chat is a metaphor for what actually happened, but sure, let’s go with the short version.” I stated sternly. 

“You both are fucking lying.” Trevor said quietly. He stared down the both of us as we shared an uncomfortable glance.

“Something, fucking happened and the two of you are going to tell us.” Trevor began to raise his voice.

“We told you what happened. We talked. We cleared things up.” Ron put his hands up in defense.

“That’s pretty much it, I mean sure there was other stuff but that was the gist of it.” I said in a defensive and unsure tone.

“Bullshit. Something fucking happened. Spit it out or Imm-”

“Listen just fuckin’ tell us. You guys acting calm around each other is… weird. Good, but weird.” Franklin pointed out. Trevor nodded.

“Yeah, it’s fucking weird. Give us the goddamn details.” Ron and I shared another glance, until I cleared my throat,

“Well… a lot of stuff has happened… ummm. We aren’t sure if we should tell you everything but we aren’t sure how you would react and… we were worried about whether or not that telling you would put you in danger, so we wanted to keep you safe. We did talk, we also had a small competition, and I won… I mean it doesn’t matter who won or what the fuck happened after that… that’s not what I mean to say… I’m fuckin’ this up.” My face was beat red in my endevour to even construct a full sentence. My embarrassment grew as I heard Michael, who had at some point reentered the trailer, chuckle. I took a shaky breath,

“I EXPLAINED THE THING.” I shouted. Franklin busted out laughing as Trevor, who seemed to be containing his laughter yelled,

“You didn’t explain shit!” I briskly turned to Ron,

“WHY YOU NO HELP?” Ron taken aback, thought for a few moments because shouting a reply,

“I explained! You’re the one who is supposed to be more detail oriented!” I felt as if I would melt into a puddle of embarrassment as Michael doubled over. 

“FINE WILL EXPLAIN… ATTEMPT NUMBER TWO.” Trevor at this point was covering his mouth as if he wasn’t finding this interaction hilarious. I took another breath, 

“STEVE COME THREATEN. GOT GUN, SHOT AT HIM TO MAKE HIM LEAVE. HE LEAVE, I GO TO WORK, I TALK TO HEAD HONCHOS. STEVE GET IN TROUBLE, STEVE NOW PROBS IN JAIL. CAME HOME. ARGUED WITH RON. HAD COOKING COMPETITION. RON CHEAT, I SABOTAGE AS REVENGE. I WIN. WE TALK ABOUT PROBLEMS. THE END.” At this point, my fists were clenched, face bright red. I couldn’t bring up what happened with Ron, and I certainly didn’t want to. I hadn’t even had enough time to think about what happened. The day that Ron didn’t show up, I was thinking about Trevor and sorting my feelings out for him. I was so deep in thought, that I hadn’t realized that the laughing stopped. 

“Haines threatened you?” Michael’s voice sounded threatening. I stood up straightened and looked at Ron who had an alarmed look on his face.

“Did… Haines fucking threaten you?” Trevor’s voice shook in anger as he glared at me.

“And Ron, bu-”

“I dealt with it, so it’s fine!” Ron interrupted. Trevor promptly looked at Ron, taking large steps towards him. He stood directly in front of him, towering over.

“Why didn’t you fucking tell me?” He turned over to me, pointing a finger in my face,

“What the fuck did he do? What the fuck did he say?” He looked between the two of us. “Did he touch you, Lily?” Franklin instantly got up, hands up in defense

“Listen man, calm down. Yelling ain’t gonna get us anywhere. If he’s in jail, then there really isn’t anything else we can do to that mother fucker. .”

“Yeah there is, we can fucking break in and skin the fucker.” Michael spat. Franklin put his hands down, and sighed loudly,

“You are not helping dog. We gotta be layin’ low. Not being over fucking dramatic.”

“Over dramatic? I’ll show you OVER FUCKING DRAMATIC! Tell me what the fuck happened! NOW!” Trevor’s booming voice shook me. I could feel my anxiety soar, panic rush through me as my breathing became heavy. 

“U-u-u-ummmmm…” I held my hands in front of me as Michael approached my side.

“One of you needs to tell us what the hell happened. If that fucker thinks that he can go and do whatever the hell he wants, he’s got another thing coming.” Ron was standing at this point,

“I already said that I dealt with him. He probably can’t do anything now!” Trevor turned back to Ron.

“What the fuck did you do? And who said it would be fucking good enough? Knowing you, you probably fucked that up anyways.” Suddenly everyone was talking or yelling. Franklin was struggling to mediate the group, but Michael and Trevor were both too angry to focus. Ron seemed to be explaining what he did, but with everyone else’s yelling, it was impossible to tell what he was saying. My mind was racing for a solution as the voices grew louder, molding into verbal nonsense. Looking at Trevor’s hip, a pistol was tucked into his sweatpants. I reached out, grasped it, and aimed it towards the ceiling. Firing off a single shot, silenced the entire room. A small amount of light began to shine through the hole as dust and dirt fell into the trailer. All attention was on me as I gently lowered and aimed the gun towards the floor. The echo from the shot against the trailer walls and the ringing in my ears made it difficult to know as to whether or not they were still speaking. I gently handed the gun back to Trevor and fell back into the futon. Compared to when I fired that shot at Steven in the trailer, it seemed like there was more metal on and in the ceiling/roof than the actually floor. It was probably somewhat from the tile. It also didn’t help that we were standing fairly close to one another and now we were all suffering. Looking back up at the others, Franklin and Ron had covered their ears, Michael was rubbing his temples and Trevor was carefully tucking the pistol back in place. 

After a few moments, Michael knocked on the counter.

“Oh, I can hear again. Thought I was going to be deaf for the rest of my goddamn life.” He stated sarcastic.

“It would be an improvement to the rest of ya.” Trevor shot back.

“Why the hell you fire the gun?” Franklin questioned.

“We weren’t getting anywhere with the current situation, so I thought a hard reset would be best.” I said plainly, staring at the trashcan. I stood up slowly and continued,

“Ron has dealt with the threats by setting Haine’s house on fire and planting some not so great things in his house to be found. With that being said, he did sexually assault me while I was at wor-”

“But that has also been dealt with!” Ron interjected. Trevor’s fists were clenched tightly, popping one of his fingers. Michael and Franklin were standing at full attention as I looked at Ron with curiosity. Michael put a hand up to Trevor, as if to stop him from speaking as he asked,

“How did you deal with it?” Ron’s eyes shifted, seemingly looking at everyone. I didn’t even know that Ron had dealt with that too.

“I-I-I knew that the police would just let him go d-d-du-due to his position with the FIB. S-s-so I had to think of something pronto in order to fuck him over a little bit.” He paused. I put my hand up to stop Trevor from yelling at him as I spoke next,

“What did you do Ron?” I tried to remain calm so that Trevor could follow suit. His focus was on me, his eyes and face almost seemed like they were ashamed. 

“You brought home a work laptop. It had all of Haine’s private information. It also tracks all of his movements…” My eyes grew wider as he continued. “So I simply borrowed the laptop and did some… stuff.” As he was finishing the sentence, I reached under the futon, pulling out a black metallic case. Opening it, I swiftly found that it had a contrasting placement, as if hastily placed back before one could notice. I opened it, and as the screen lit up, it became very clear what he had done. He wrecked a different type of havoc. I started to run through files, emails, any type of archive I could find to determine the damage that had been done. From bank accounts to all personal information, everything had been touched. My heart dropped as I saw emails upon emails of ranging levels of panic. I calmly closed the computer, Standing up, I questioned,

“Did it ever occur to you that they could trace back to the computer that you used?” Ron’s face turned bright red as I glared at him.

“Do you even realize what you’ve done?! I mean other transfer all of his funds into his associates accounts and then into random people’s accounts who have nothing to do with the company? Or that you’ve sent different field agents to very odd places that don’t make sense to go on missions that are questionable, such as; getting a taco with every single topping, getting a burger that contains fries and onions because why not both, a milkshake that ethically has too many sprinkles, a viking funeral for all and any pigeons that are killed in the line of duty, an inexpensive steak that has been stuffed with pork and chicken and then baked like some kind of fucking monstrosity, an ice cream with sixteen different flavors and they can’t be generic flavors like strawberry or chocolate but vanilla is fine because it’s white and he’s white, every single type of pig plushie that they can find so that when someone fucks up they can carry around Sergeant Fuck-up, take in every stray animal, you can only buy one type of ketchup because that’s your favorite brand and all other brands suck, all guns are now called pew-pews, all desks are called IKEA shit, any gangsters are to be given a proper meal while mob members are to be taken to fast food because we’ve been putting members of the mob on a pedestal and not the real OGs, placing filled water balloons in every hallway so that they can train because every day is a challenge as well as prank other members of staff in order to hone their stealth skills, downloading video games onto their computers so that can learn how to be real team players through MMOs, to put themselves in timeout when they fuck up by sitting in a corner with a piece of paper and must write ‘I will not be stupid in the field’ 100 times, all new passwords must be changed to 1234Icantspellworthshit1234, for every time you go through a metal detector so that you may draw attention to yourself but not your fellow agents, you must yell at the top of your lungs ‘praise the cheeseburger, as he is king of all’? Or spent an insane amount of money on a bouncy castle that everyone must ‘now enter so that they can have a fun day at work?’ Or the fucking fact that you’ve spread all of his personal information on the internet, including selling some of it on the dark web to make a quick buck? So please, let me know, what the fuck did you think you were doing?! Cause like holy shit, did you throw these people in a loop! Do you know what their replies fucking consist of? Shit like, is the taco for me to try or for you to obtain? Does the type of burger place matter because some places have shitty fries and some places have shitty onion rings? Define ethically too many sprinkles. Should we order the wood for the funerals from local places? How long should the steak-pork-chicken bake and at what temperature? Do you want a bowl for the ice cream or a legit cone, because of the amount of expressed concern for the cone was fucking staggering. Does the size of the plushie matter or can it be small? How long do they have to carry Sergeant Fuck-up and what should they do if they get too attached? What if Sergeant Fuck-up is taken hostage? Where shall we put the stray animals? People are allergic to that brand and if they bring a doctor’s note, can they use a different type of ketchup? If all guns are now pew-pews, what are bullets? My IKEA shit broke, where do I buy a new one, and does it have to be from IKEA? We put the IKEA shit together wrong, can we buy another one? Define a proper meal. Can the water balloons vary in sizes and colors? Do we have to put duct tape on all of the outlets for this water balloon exercise? Are the pranks allowed to be deadly? I just downloaded an MMO but no one else likes that one and plays a different one; do I have to play theirs or can I play this one? How long is timeout? When in timeout, do we have to write in cursive or in print? Do we have to vote for who is the sacrifice to praise the cheeseburger god? How long do we have to stay in the bouncy castle? Like holy shit, do you realize how much you broke these people? They’re already really fucking dumb, so you didn’t just fuck up one dude, you fucked up an entire village. Like fuck.” I took a deep breath. 

“Lemme see the emails.” Michael suddenly demanded. I turned towards him, and reopened the laptop. As he scanned through them, he couldn’t hold back his laughter as he read one of them aloud,

“In response to, make a book club with only people that you like, what if I don’t like anyone? In response to, please ensure that there is a break room full of cats on every floor, which rooms should we use for that and can we also have TVs and couches? Where do we get the cats from? In response to, please cook all of your meals in a microwave, what if we don’t own one? What if our roommate has used fish for the microwave and it’s now stained and cursed with the smell of fish?” Michael began to laugh too hard to speak, clutching his sides in pain. 

“My favorite so far is; in response to everything being a soup, salad or sandwich, what category are sunflower seeds in? What about tator tots?” I laughed. I took hold of the computer again,

“Welp, it was fun while it lasted.” I turned to Trevor, handing it to him gently, “Break this in half or something.” Trevor looked at me curiously.

“We can make it look like you threw a tantrum and broke this, just so they don’t think you’re the one who sent the emails. There are only three of us who know the accounts and if this computer is broken, then it couldn’t have been me. Sure they could go through the IP and trace it that way, but then they’ll just blame one of the many people who greatly dislike you to frame you. Don’t worry, I’ll cover for you.” Trevor shrugged as he grasped the laptop and smashed it on the corner of the counter. 

“Imma need you to demolish this fucking thing, because we need it to be unsalvageable.” Trevor nodded as he started to break every little piece. I looked towards Ron.

“I’m not sure if you’ll be blamed for anything of this in the end.” Ron stammered out. His hands were nervously at his chest.

“Yeah, you should probably apologize for that.” I stated sourly.

“I did.”

“How?” I curled a brow. Ron’s eyes darted to the side, and another connection was made.

“That was the apology?!” I shouted. “What?!” 

“What apology? How did he apologize?” Franklin questioned. Trevor was now making a pyramid out of debris but he was quietly focused on us. 

“I apologized and that’s all that matters.” Ron answered.

“Yeah, you apologized in advance but also fucking said ‘enjoy the mess.’ You fuckin’ bastard.” I pouted. 

“How’d he apologize?” Trevor reiterated the question.

“I apologized.”

“He apologized.”

“Yeah, but how?” Michael repeated.

“Normal apology.” Ron attempted to persuade them.

“Totally normal. 100%, no lie there.” I said confidently.

“You’re both fuckin’ lying and we know it. What happened?” Trevor began to raise his voice. 

“T, c-c-can I t-ta-talk to y-y-you o-o-outside?” Ron stuttered. Trevor pushed himself away from the counter and started to head outside, Ron rushing behind like a puppy. As they exited, Franklin and Michael both shot me a glance.

“So… how did he apologize?” Michael asked again.

“In the worst way possible.” I stated, a chill ran down my side thinking about how Trevor was going to react if Ron did tell him the truth. 

“Oh?” Franklin’s tone demanded more information.

“You don’t want to know.” I persuaded.

“Oh, I think we want to.” Michael mimicked my tone.

“Well, let’s see how Trevor reacts, and then we’ll go from there.” I gestured towards the front door. “What happens next, man I don’t really want to think about,”

“Get the FUCK AWAY FROM ME! YOU PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT, I FUCKING HATE YOU AND YOUR FUCKING FACE! DON’T FUCKING COME HERE AGAIN!” The three of us looked around at each other as Trevor slammed the front door open.

“You two, get the fuck out.” Michael placed himself in front of me.

“What are you going to do to Lily?” Michael’s defensive tone only seemingly made Trevor angrier. 

“It has nothing to fucking do with you so get the fuck out.” He pointed to the door as Franklin spoke up,

“Man, I know you angry at somethin’. We don’t know what dog, but you need to chill. Just tell us what happened.”

“I want to ask Lily first. I know Ron wouldn’t lie to me, but I need to fucking know what the fuck is going on.” He hissed in reply. “Nothing is going to happen, so just wait outside.” Michael reached back and squeezed my hand before complying. I nervously stood up, as the front door closed, leaving Trevor and I alone. 

“Tell me how he apologized.” His voice low, sending chills down my spine.

“I didn’t know it was an apology…”

“Just tell me what happened.” Trevor sounded as if he might break. I cleared my throat in an attempt to prepare myself.

“We had the cooking competition and afterwards we argued with each other because he cheated first and then I got back at him. He then said that he may have lost the cooking competition but he would win the day. I had no fucking clue what he was talking about and that’s when h-”

“You can stop talking now. I know what happened.” Trevor sat down on the futon, holding his head in his hands. I remained standing, unsure what to say or do. I crossed my arms across my chest anxiously awaiting something. 

“Did you like it?” 

“No.” I responded with no hesitation. “I didn’t appreciate it in the slightest considering what was happening with you and me. He knows what’s going on and yet he still acted in a really weird way. I sometimes have no idea what’s going on in his head. But, no, I didn’t like it.” A hint of irritation was in my voice. Something clicked in my mind, and as I turned to Trevor, I saw that he was looking at me. I threw my arms over the counter, relaxing only the top half of my body. 

“I prefer you over anyone else when it comes to stuff like that. It feels like everything is melting whenever you do anything, so it can be really hard to think when I’m around you.” I turned away. I guess I was pretty upset with Ron over the whole thing, but I didn’t hate him for it. I just wish he would have considered my feelings before acting. 

“Ugh, there is too much fucking drama throughout the day.” I sighed loudly. I   a large hand on my back. Turning my head towards Trevor, he applied pressure to my lower back to make me stand up straight. His other hand brought me closer to him, hugging me tightly. I responded in kind. He’s reacting better than I thought he would towards me. I had imagined him screaming at me or something, but this, this is something I didn’t even think he would do.  _ This is nice. _

He pulled away first,

“Can’t hug for too long, might want to do stuff to ya. And we still technically have guests.” I laughed.

“Ye-yeah.” He truly was unpredictable. He leaned down, a large hand cupped my face as he brought me into a gentle kiss. My heart fluttered as he pulled away. Trevor pulled me into another hug before letting go and heading towards the door. 

“You assholes can come back in.” Michael and Franklin entered with distaste written on their faces.

“Anybody going to tell us what the fuck happened?” Michael asked.

“Maybe later.” Trevor stated plainly.

“Well, we best be headin’ out then. We got shit to do.” Franklin said in a bored and irritated tone. I nodded while Michael walked out and pulled me into a hug. 

“Be good kid.” I wrapped my arms around him.

“I will be. You gotta blame the other two when I’m not.” Michael chuckled as he let go and began to walk away.

“See ya Lil’.”

“Bye Franklin.” Trevor started to pout.

“Bye you fuckers.”

“See ya asshole.” Michael yelled out the door.

“Yeah, see ya homie.” Franklin waved, gently closing the door behind him. I walked over to the futon, plopping down and leaning back. Everything seemed to ache from all of the tension. I closed my eyes.  _ Well, at least today is over.  _

“Hey.” My eyes shot open, Trevor was hovering over me. “We need to talk.”

“Sure.” I sat up as he moved to my side. Turning his body towards me and taking my hands in his, I could feel blood rush to my face.

“I wanted to talk about us.” He started.

“Okay.”

“I-I… I thought we were over. I may have done a lot of destructive stuff and other things that I very seriously regret, but… I overreacted and just wanted to hurt myself. I-” I grabbed hold of one of his hands.

“You don’t need to tell me. I can already guess all the shit that you did, but it’s true. We were technically over and I was furious. I didn’t feel guilty about Ron kissing me, just upset that it happened. Kind of like if you tell me what you did. We weren’t together technically, so in my mind, whatever you did, you should keep to yourself. I don’t want to know and I think it’ll only hurt more to hear it.” I interjected.  _ Honestly do not want to hear what he did. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be able to remain calm.  _ Trevor nodded slowly in understanding. Our fingers were intertwined as I spoke again,

“It might be awhile before you talk to Ron again, but I want you to think long and hard about what you want to say. He’s very dependent on you so you should be careful in what you say. Please don’t hurt him. I know you want to, but if you’re allowed to go off, do whatever you want and it not count; then so was I, and so was Ron.” Trevor nodded again, hopefully soaking in my words. I didn’t want Ron to get hurt; yeah, in the end, it wasn’t cool. But at the same time, if the same standards work with Trevor, then they should work with me. I could hear the pitter-patter of rain begin to hit the roof. I watched as a trickle of water began to flow into the trailer as the rain fell harder. As I let go of his hand and moved to grab a bucket, Trevor swiftly took my hand back. 

“You can leave it.”

“It’s going to ruin the floor. When it rains it, it rains hard; so we might as well put a small bucket at least.” He begrudgingly let me go as I headed to the bathroom. Upon returning and placing the bucket down, he still sat quietly on the futon. I joined his side, grabbing hold of his hand again. He squeezed my hand tightly. 

We sat in a comfortable silence as thunder began to pass over us. The claps grew louder as I leaned into him, closing my eyes as I became more relaxed. A small question popped into my mind, bothering me to the point where I broke the silence.

“How are you?” He twitched. 

“What do you mean?” A hint of exhaustion could be heard.

“I mean over all. I just want to check on you.” I squeezed his hand, unsure about how he would react to the question.

“Oh… I’m okay. I’ve got a lot on my mind. Just anticipating this big… thing we’re doin’.” Keeping my eyes closed,

“Well… let me know if you want me to lend you an ear or anything. Not literally but… I’m here for you.” There was a slight pause before he spoke again,

“Would you listen?”

“Yes.”

“Right now?” I opened my eyes and sat up. Shifting my body towards him to give my full attention, I replied,

“Yes.” Trevor took a deep breath, shifting his body, and taking my hands into his.

“I don’t know where to start but I guess…” Another pause. He suddenly looked ashamed.

“I’ve been lost for so long that it’s difficult to keep my head on straight most days. I feel like the chaos in my life is no longer from my own doing, rather it should be me wreaking havoc and shit cause at least then I’m in control of that. I was abandoned at a very young age and I haven’t been able to remain calm for long periods of time. I just feel a continuous bubbling anger inside of me that just wants to take it out on the world because I can. Never really got along with my family so I never had people to turn to. My mother was a troubled woman who was everything under the sun and my father was a piece of garbage who ditched me at a shopping mall as a kid. I never got along with my brother but that doesn’t matter anymore. Six feet under and that’s all that matters. Friends were also a passing glance. Everyone would run away from me because I couldn’t and can’t control my anger or any fucking emotion. Michael was the only one who I thought actually fucking understood me and would stand by me. He went soft down the line and I was going to cut him out, but he got there first. I’ve always been betrayed, left behind or ditched because of my emotions, m-my actions… I-I-I th-think it’s just m-me. I continuously push people away,” tears began to trickle down his face, falling down to the futon and his pants. “All of my actions have just been wrong. I can’t seem to do anything right. I can’t control myself for five fucking minutes to not fuck anything up. Ruining the trailer that you and Ron have to keep cleaning, I crashed the bodhi the other day and Ron had to go fix it, I broke all of the dishes and you had nothing to use to cook, I’ve hurt you and Ron more than I’d like to count, I fucking forced Michael into a wall and that’s why he betrayed me. It’s all my fucking fault! I’m just a huge fucking mess that doesn’t know where I’m going or what I’m doing. I wing it and I drag everyone down with me.” Trevor removed his hands and covered his face. “I can’t seem to get anything together to be one fucking coherent individual. I don’t fucking care about being someone who is right in with society and becoming one of those fucking plastic people. I just want to be normal, I just want to think normally and just have a day where I don’t fuck everything up by going off the fucking rails. There are so many voices in my head that are telling me to do crazy fucking things and impulses that I can’t control when even the slightest irritation comes my way. I’ve tried to remain calm and cool around certain things but when people continuously get in my face, I just don’t know what to do. I-I-I-I-I black out and I can’t remember beating or killing the person whose on the ground or the car that I stole or whatever the fuck that I did.” Trevor stood up, keeping his focus on me. “I’m tired of waking up everyday and wanting to change, but I just can’t fucking change. No matter how much I fucking try, I feel like I’m going in fucking circles. Even with you. I fell for you the moment I fucking saw you; I felt my heart drop into my fucking stomach and I couldn’t even stop myself from taking you and ruining your whole fucking life. I’m so fucking unstable that I thought that you could actually fall in love with me before you left. I kept thinking that we had a connection and then it all fucking clicked when you kissed me when you were trying to get on the train. It all fucking clicked that nothing I had done up until that point was fucking right and that I just fucked up everything you had. If I had just fucking let you go in the first place, then maybe you could fucking live a normal life or at least be away from me. But all I’ve done is drag you back to this fucking hell hole and forced you into a corner. You haven’t betrayed me but there’s a small fucking voice screaming in the back of my head wondering when the fuck you will. And then this whole fucking thing with Ron. Ron, I’ve fucked up terribly and I didn’t mean to. I-I-I just wanted someone loyal, I just wanted a fucking friend. Someone who actually fucking listened and was nice to me. He’s been fucking awesome and he never really complains or argues or fucking anything. A-a-a-and then he fucking tells me that he kissed you and that he’s in fucking love with you and I can’t help but think that you two are just going to run off and leave me the fuck behind. I don’t want to be alone!” Trevor fell to his knees as my eyes widened with shock.  _ That fucker sAID WHAT? Ex-fucking-cuse me?! _ “He said that he felt bad about feeling that way, especially since he knows how I fucking feel about you. I’m fucking crazy about you to the point where whenever I go off the fucking rails and ruin everything, I just want to fucking kill myself. I want to kill myself for what I did to the treaty between the other dealers and I, for fucking ruining a good thing with the Chinese, walking back into Michael’s god-damn, for possibly putting Franklin into line to death and killing Floyd. I’ve fucked up and I just want the pain to end. I just want everything to fucking stop. I was to stop destroying everything when it’s good. I want to be content with what I have and what the fuck I’m doing. But I fucking can’t! I’m just so fucking greedy, and I want more. I want more of you and your love. I want you to only be loyal to me and stick to me like glue. But I can’t fucking have that because you’re an independent person, you’re an original person who doesn’t let other’s thoughts rule their actions and mind. I can’t fucking stop myself from thinking that I want to tie you to the fucking bed and keep you there. I’m so fucking broken that the only way that I think a relationship will work is if I entrap someone. I fucking hate myself and I just want everything to stop. I want to think clearly and just be fucking normal.” Trevor broke down, tears now streaming down his face, hanging his head low. I remained speechless on the futon.  _ That was a ton of information, and an eye-opener.  _

“I can’t ask anything of you, but I want to. I want you to promise me so many things and just stay with me, but I don’t want to hurt you. I fucking hate it. Hate it. Hate it. Hate it.” He began to bash the side of his head with his fists. He took several deep breaths before speaking again.

“I love you and I hate myself for it.” I carefully moved from the futon, placing myself right in front of him. He looked at me, his eyes were red, face streaked with tears, and red blotches covering his face from self-harm and pressure. I wrapped my arms around his neck, bringing him into a hug. He, without hesitation, responded in kind; tightly bringing me into him as he continued to sob. Everything felt so heavy, hard to breath and yet I hoped that Trevor felt lighter. All of these emotions and thoughts were clearly piling up and being left unresolved; now he’s poured his heart and mind out. I closed my eyes.

 

_ I need time to sort out my feelings myself. _


	17. Lily

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Going into Lily's thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! This one is hecka long my dudes! I hope you guys enjoy this chapter and let me know what ya'll think!

Trevor sat in front of me, head in my lap as I ran my fingers gently through the little hair that he did have. He had his arms wrapped around my waist as we remained in silence on the futon. After his crying fit, he hugged me so tight that I couldn’t breathe, so we relocated to somewhere and something more comfortable. Everything felt, in a way, right; it was calm and quiet. 

Trevor’s phone rang throughout the trailer; both of us jumping at the sound. Trevor lazily reached into his pocket, and answered,

“Hello?” He sounded exhausted.

“Yeah… sure… I’ll be there. By-... huh? Okay, okay… I’ll see what I can do.” He groaned as he hung up the phone. 

“Listen Lily, I need you to hold down the fort while I help with Franklin with something. He says that one of our mutual friends fucked up and is now being held hostage. We’re gonna head out and save ‘em.” He stood up, pressing a gentle kiss onto my forehead before walking away. 

“Wait Trevor!” Half-way through the door, I scrambled to get up and embrace him again.

“Please come back in one piece.” Hugging me back he replied,

“I’ll try.” I let go, watching him walk down the porch and into the bodhi. I slid back inside as he drove off to wherever. Locking the door, I sighed; so much on my mind and yet no where to put it or someone to vent to. I lazily scanned the room and as my eyes fell on the futon, I realized that Trevor had left his phone. I carefully walked to it. The screen had been severely cracked, but it still worked decently well. I ran through his contacts, finding Tracy’s name. Nervously holding my thumb over the call button, a thought popped into my mind.  _ Would she want to listen to me or would she only talk about her own problems?  _ I shook my head.  _ Oh fucking well.  _ I pressed call.

“Hello Uncle T! Whatcha doin?” Tracey’s voice rang through my ears.

“Hey, it’s Lily.” I could feel my stomach turn into knots. 

“Oh Lily! How’s it going? How are you and Trevor?” 

“We… uh… we’re working on it.” Nothing could really describe where we were at. 

“How are you?” I asked.

“Oh, you know. Left the house because my dad was acting like a psychopath. Have you seen him recently?”

“Yeah I have, he’s doin’ alright, but don’t leave him hangin’ for too long.”

“I knooow.” Sarcasm thick in her voice.

“Listen, I was wondering if you could lend me your ear. I have a lot on my mind, and I just… I just really want to talk to someone.” I could hear her perk up.

“Of course you can talk to me! Girl! We are like super close!” I smiled.

“You can talk to me too!” A second voice could be heard through the phone.

“Mrs. De Santa?” 

“You can call me Amanda.” Her tone turned stern. I laughed.

“Amanda.” 

“So what’s going on? Is my husband causing trouble for you again? Trevor?”

“Ah, it’s a mix of a whole lot of things, but actually not your husband.” 

“Well, we’re both here to hear you out.” Tracy stated. I took a deep breath. 

 

_ I guess I’ll just verbally barf. _

 

“I’m not sure where to start, but I’ve just been having a difficult time lately trying to sort out my feelings for the whole thing. When things started out with Trevor, I kind of thought it was just going to self-destruct early and then I wouldn’t have to deal with it. But it proved to me more resilient than that. He’s done a lot of terrible things in his life, and one of those was kidnapping me. I sometimes feel like I’ve been manipulated to stay with him or at least I feel inclined to because he’s very troubled. I mean, I’m here willingly now- kind of. The FIB brought me back in order to use me as a bargaining chip and as a way to get Trevor to behave, but I’m not being forced here because of Trevor, if that makes sense? I mean there are times where he’s calm and professional; you wouldn’t know that he was completely off the rails during those times because he does a complete 180 and it’s weird. We’ve both made mistakes, some of them together but there are moments where I think things will work out and that maybe it’s okay to be in a relationship. About a week ago, he completely fucked everything up by bringing up the past when there was really no point to. And then I got into a fight with Ron.”

“Wait, Ron? Who’s Ron?” Amanda quickly asked.

“Oh, that’s one of Trevor’s associates, friends… I’m not actually sure. But shit went down with him and now I’ve gotta deal with that. I’m not sure how I feel about that situation either.”

“What’s the situation? Listen, if I’m going to listen to all of this, I gotta hear all the good stuff.” I laughed at Tracey’s statement and Amanda’s agreement.

“Ron and I have been at odds from the beginning. First he blamed me for a door, that  _ he  _ broke if I might add. Then goes off and starts causing all kinds of trouble for me, so I started doing the same to him. Fucker deserved it. Anyways, recent situation, we had a cooking competition because he was dissing hard on my skills and just kept bitching about how much I hated his cooking. In the end, I won and out of fucking nowhere, he just randomly kisses me. And then he and Trevor got into an argument and from what I heard from Trevor was that he was in love with me. But where the fuck is that coming from? Since when? I have too many questions, I can’t ask because that might imply that I’m interested although I am curious as hell. But that’s not okay because Trevor and I just made things better. Although I’m scared for both of them. Ron got yelled at by Trevor over the whole ordeal and I’m worried about what Trevor will say to him. Trevor went ahead, poured his whole heart out to me and I’m concerned about his mental health. I know you guys don’t really care for him, but I do. That might sound backwards, considering you guys have known him for longer and everyone is trying to guess when everything will fall apart… but maybe I’ve been thinking like that too much and should try harder for this relationship.”

“No it’s okay not to try.” Amanda sounded like she was trying to convince me.

“I did agree to this relationship and this last time that we made up, I’ve essentially stated that we are together but maybe I should ask him more formally. Maybe that would be better. I’ll also need to talk to Ron, but only after Trevor does. I don’t want to add anymore problems to that.”

“How do you feel about Ron? I mean, you can feel how you want, and I’ve never met him… so?” Tracey questioned.

“How I feel about Ron? I mean he irritated the shit out of me for long and there were a couple times he was really nice, but those were far and few. We were starting to get along before this whole mess, but at the same time, I’m not actually sure. When I think about Ron, I think about how he technically can be a good friend, in a very violent way, but a good friend nonetheless and I do appreciate the amount of effort he is putting into everything so that we can become better friends. I do not want our friendship to change because I feel like we’re good where we are and don’t have any need to move forward from that point or anywhere from that point no matter how he feels. I’m sure he isn’t going to push for a relationship or do anything like that, because he isn’t like that, also Trevor will have something to say about it too. Ugh, I just want everything to be simple, I guess we can’t get everything that we want.”

“It can be simple if you just leave Trevor.” Amanda stated coldly.

“Maybe, but that doesn’t mean my problems go away. I have to still deal with the same problems that Michael does and then some. Those aren’t practically Michael’s fault and sure we can say that it was really all of Trevor’s fault, but it’s a little too late to be pointing fingers. We’ve already talked about this subject extensively with each other but there seems to be little that I can do. I’m damned if I stay with Trevor and I’m damned if I don’t. I’ve tried to think of ways of how to end this peacefully or walk away from all of this in one piece but it’s just problem after problem. If I am pregnant, then I gotta deal with that and Trevor. If I’m not and everything kind of just goes away either naturally or we have to solve it, then we have a slew of problems right there too. I’ve been thinking of ways of going home, but it almost seems futile. It seems like only my parents are thinking about me, and how can they not, am I right?”

“Excuse me? You’re what?” Amanda and Tracey spoke in unison.

“I’m what, what?”

“If you’re pregnant? What does that mean?” Tracey questioned. I stopped moving; it seems like I had been pacing in little circles the entire time. I moved to the futon and sat down carefully.

“Well we don’t know, but it’s clearly an acc-”

“You and Trevor can not have a child. Are you freaking insane?” Amanda harshly asked.

“Whoa, whoa. One, we don’t even know yet and two, Trevor wouldn’t even be in the picture then. I would leave and take care of this child by myself. I wouldn’t want to deal with Trevor’s behavior if there’s a child involved. Then I’ll have to deal with three children.”  _ I might have fucked up.  _

“Does he know?” Tracey asked cautiously.

“Well, that’s the thing. We don’t know, and it came as an after thought that we had been doing something stupid.”

“You guys need to be more careful!” Amanda scolded. “You need to be thinking more of your choices here on out. You two aren’t teenagers!”

“I’m fully aware of that.”

“Yeah, but you certainly aren’t acting like it.” Tracey added. I sighed.  _ Oh wow, it’s like I’m talking to my mother.  _

“Sure  _ mom _ . I’ll get right on acting my age, when I get the two stresses in my  _ dad’s  _ life on track too.” 

“Watch your mouth missy. He started it, and when he’s ready to apologize, then we’ll talk.”

“I get that, but he’s also trying to hardest to deal with problems that aren’t his fault too. He’s helping out a friend whose helping out another friend, he’s ensuring your safety by cutting ties with terrible people and all sorts of things that are kind of a welcome home present for you guys.” 

“Wouldn’t have happened if he had done them in the first place.”

“You could say the same thing about anybody but you have to think of what type of corner that person felt like they were backed into with the people who were around them at the time. If he was being backed into a corner by the FIB and by Trevor, he might have felt like he needed an out as quickly as possible for himself and you guys. I made a decision based on the corner that I’m in that is because of two different powerful people in Los Santos. Sure it wouldn’t have happened, if Michael didn’t start robbing banks, but where would all of you guys be now? Would you two be together? Would you be living as comfortably as you do? If Trevor hadn’t kidnapped me, I wouldn’t be in such a strange and stressful position. At the same time, think of what made Trevor, Trevor. If Trevor’s father hadn’t left him in a mall when he was a kid, would he be different? What if his parents actually treated him right? What if he wasn’t kicked out of the air force due to mental health issues that were from the actions his parents committed unto him? You’d have to go all the way back and blame the original person who started this entire mess and that wouldn’t get you anywhere because who knows if they’re dead or not, but also there’s no point. It was so far into the past, that there’s nothing that any of us can do except, accept for who they are now and allow them time to figure out how, when and if they want to change.” Silence fell between the three of us as I heard a knock at the door.

“Hey, I gotta let you go, I’ve got someone at the door.”

“Okay, be careful Lily. We’ll talk about this later.” Amanda had a solemn and sad tone.

“Sure, wouldn’t mind that.” 

“Bye Lily!” Tracey and Amanda yelled harmoniously.

“Bye guys.” I smiled as I hung up. Walking over to the door, I realized that I wasn’t sure who actually was behind it.

“Who is it?” I called out.

“It’s Ron.” My heart dropped. Ah man, if he came here for Trevor, then that’s awkward.

“Trevor’s not here.”

“I’m not here to talk to Trevor.” I rubbed my temples. I quickly unlocked the door to see Ron, completely disheveled. 

“I need to talk to you about something, without Trevor. I…I have something to tell you.” I could feel my stomach turn into knots and anxiety begin to swarm. 

 

_ Let’s do this. _

 

“I don’t want you to say anything until I completely finish my train of thought because I’m not going to have the same amount of courage later as I do now.” 

“Are you drunk?”

“Maybe.” I raised a brow as he began to pace back and forth.

“You…. You drive me crazy.”  _ Fucker, you do too.  _ “And lately there’s been something on my mind that I can’t seem to get out. Everytime I go to sleep, I’m thinking about what the next argument is, what we’re going to talk about next, what we’re going to do the next day, if we’ll get along or what type of food you’ll make.”  _ Whoa, this dude needs to chill. _ “I think about how soft your hair looks, how beautiful you look when you smile, how smart and respectful you are to idiots like me, how quick you are to react in a bad situation, your patience, your confidence that always seems to come out of nowhere… all of those things, those thoughts made me realize how much of an amazing person you are. How much I admire you and-and-and respect you. I didn’t realize how jealous of Trevor I was, until he came back. He’s my best friend, and I know that you’re with him, but I can’t help feeling what I feel. It’s probably pretty bad of me to say this.”  _ Yeah, probably _ . “But I-”

“I ask that you don’t finish that sentence.” A deep voice rang behind him. Looking past him, and Ron turning around; we both saw Trevor. He was leaning against the door frame, a lazy and tired expression on his face as he stared Ron down. Ron fell silent as if the courage he had once had, was now being completely drained by Trevor’s presence alone.

“She’s a taken woman, and you are fully aware of how I feel about her and the extent of those feelings.”

“Can I not express my own feelings? I never get to express anything to you because you always seem to break down whatever I say. I know that you have good direction and know what you’re doing, which is why I’m not scared to say yes to whatever you plan on doing. I have full trust and confidence in your leadership skills and your ideas, because I know that aspect of you. But I can’t help it, if I’m in love with somebody, just like you can’t help it. Why is it, only one of us can say what we want to say and the other has to hold all of their feelings up in a tight bottle? How does that make any sense? We’re friends, aren’t we? Best friends?” I felt a wave of nausea. 

“Are we best friends? You’re standing here, trying to confess your feelings for somebody who clearly has feelings for somebody else, and that somebody else is your ‘best friend’.” I pushed myself in between them. The nausea was growing. 

“Ron, you’ve clearly been drinking, go home and sleep this off and think about the things you said and wanted to say. Trevor, this might not be the best time to pick this fight, so let’s just let this go as he is clearly drunk and I don’t want this to bite him in the ass just because he made a mistake. You make mistakes and I forgive you. So you need to do the same.” I covered my mouth. I felt so sick.

“Hey, are you okay?” Trevor asked. I could feel his hand reach my shoulder as I said in a strained voice,

“Nope.” I swiftly made my way to the restroom, emptying the contents of my stomach into the toilet. Trevor was immediately by my side, pulling my hair back as I hurled. 

 

_ Ugh, all this stress. _

 

“Well, it’s from extreme stress. You have a number of ulcers lining your intestines. We’ll get you on some medication, but you need to work on your stress levels.” She turned and walked away swiftly as I turned my head to Trevor.

“Thank goodness it’s not the other thing, but that still sucks.” I laughed.

“You’re right that it still sucks, but these stress levels… I guess that’s my fault.” Trevor looked like a puppy who had just been kicked.

“Yeah, and Ron. It’s a mix of things that have been mounting up, but at least now, it’s getting fixed. But, we need to have a group meeting. I think that’ll help a lot.” I held his hand tightly. He nodded as if he understood, but there seemed to be no confidence.

Upon getting back, Ron laid on the futon with a hangover. We had been in the ER for about 5 hours, finally having medication and some other supplies to stop me from upchucking. 

“Ron, get up. Lily needs to lay down.” Ron lazily looked in our direction, as he rolled off the futon and onto the floor. 

“Okay.” Trevor sighed and lead me to the couch.

“So what’s going on?” Ron groaned.

“Stress. Stomach ulcers from the two of you.” I stated plainly. Trevor sat down next to me, stepping on Ron and resting his feet on top of him. I opened the bag that sat on my lap and pulled out some crackers. I handed a package to Ron who took them, as I started to munch on my own. Trevor grabbed a few and started to shove them in his mouth. We sat in silence, only the crunching between us. 

“We’re gonna have a group meeting.” I said with a mouthful. Ron looked up at me curiously.

“What do you mean?” He questioned.

“I think there are a couple problems between the three of us that we need to smooth out.” I looked at Trevor, who turned away, pouting. I rolled my eyes.

“Let’s start with the obvious.”

“Ron is in love with my girlfriend.” Trevor spat.

“Well, I guess it wasn’t that obvious. The two of you are causing me a large amount of stress. Ron because he wanted to pick some fights and Trevor because he’s continuously leaving and I have no idea what the fuck is going on. I’m tired of being in the dark, and just a lot of stuff.” I turned my head towards Trevor. “I told you how I felt about everything, and you explicitly told me that you listened to me, but apparently not because you’ve just gone off and done your own thing. Last night, doesn’t count because you were helping someone, but I feel like most of the time, you’re not here and I feel like you’re ghosting me.” I put my hand up to stop interruptions. “Now, I know that you’re doing things with your business, but that doesn’t mean I don’t get lonely either. You do kind of pay Ron, who in turn is forced to pay for groceries. But it honestly feels like you don’t want to be with me because how long you are gone on your own free will. This guy made you angry, well see ya for two to three days. This woman made you angry, well can’t see my boyfriend for a week because who knows what he’s doing. I know you do things that technically would count as cheating in the relationship, which literally doesn’t make sense to me because you’re out and about doing whatever you want and I’m confined here. And yet you want me around, yet you don’t want to do anything with me in terms of a relationship. How does that make any sense?” I turned my head to Ron, my hand still up. “I appreciate you being here because it does distract me from thinking of all the possibilities as to why Trevor could possibly not be here. There are times where you disappear too and that throws me into a loop because I sometimes forget that you work for him and aren’t just someone I’m babysitting.” I put a hand up towards him. “I’m kidding. But I don’t have a vehicle and no form of communication and I’m fucking stranded here in the goddamn desert with nothing to do but wait for one of you two hombres to show up. Like, what the hell am I here for? Why was I dragged back only to get fuckin’ ignored?” I looked to the both of them as Trevor spoke first,

“I am very busy with my business… but I didn’t know you were that lonely. I do love you, and I am not cheating on you or going off with other women. I am simply making a statement and that doesn’t include intercourse with any gender. I’m sorry that it’s put some much stress on you, but it’s like what you said before, I don’t like to be tied down.”

“Dating, or being boyfriend/girlfriend, doesn’t mean you’re tied down. Also, if you feel that way, just break up with me. Those types of statements make me think that these last couple days have been a joke; that you didn’t mean anything that you said. And that really hurts. You’re wasting both of our time. I have spent more time with Ron than I have with you, and I don’t think it should be this hard to ask for you to make time for me.” 

Silence fell again, as Trevor turned away. I closed my eyes.  _ Well that escalated quickly _ . 

“We’ve been hanging out…” He murmured.

“You mean the last four days? They’ve been stress filled too. You came back after a week of silence because of something you did, and then most of it was spent with other people who were here. When I do get to actually spend time with you by ourselves without sex?” He fell quiet again as I raised a brow and then turned to Ron who was looking up at the ceiling. 

“We… we could go on a date… I’ve… got plenty of time.” Trevor nervously said.

“That sounds nice.”

“And I have a question to ask you.” Trevor snapped his head around. “What did you mean that I seemed normal when I was flying the copter?” I stopped.  _ What was he- oh. Oh. OH FUCK. _ My face began to feel hot as it was my turn to turn away.

“Uhhhh…” I squeaked.

“I promised I wouldn’t forget to ask.” He smirked.

“Well…” I looked at Ron for help who only kept changing his focus from me to Trevor. “What I meant… was that when you were flying the copter, you seemed very relaxed, comfortable and uh… happy. You seemed at peace.  And maybe… very handsome… ” Trevor seemed to perk up and shift in his spot.

“Sorry, what was that last bit? I couldn’t really hear.” A grin came across his face as I began to pout. The grin faded as he spoke again.

“Let’s move onto the next order of business.” Turning to Ron, “say what you want to say. I know that you want to tell her, and she’s right. I should be mad because technically she and I weren’t together so I want to hear what you were going to tell her.” Ron’s face turned red in embarrassment, clearing his throat as he prepared to speak.

“What I was going to say was that…” He made eye contact with me. “I’m in love with you. I know that’s terrible, but it’s true. I kissed you and since then, I can’t stop thinking about how right that was.” Trevor’s face contorted with dissatisfaction. “When that suit fucker threatened you and then assaulted you, I… I wished I was Trevor or at least like Trevor; which is why I went and burned his house down and planted all of that stuff. But I really do wish I was like him because at least then I could protect you. Trevor’s really strong, confident and at the same time sensitive and troubled. He’s somebody who also needs protecting, which is what I thought I was here for, but then I realized that, that’s you. I mean we’ve had each other’s backs in some bad times, but you and Trevor? Trevor comes home beat up, you wrap him up without question but not without scolding him. You both can protect yourselves and I’m just ashamed that I can’t do that. I’m sure that if I could do that, then I’d probably more confident in my ability to protect you. I get too anxious and scared; my brain starts to race and I feel like I’ll melt into the floor. I can’t be like Trevor, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t feel the same things that he does.” Ron turned to Trevor. “I know it’s wrong with me to be in love with her, but I’d rather tell you know, get this off my chest rather than you find out later and think that I betrayed you because I have feelings for someone that you love.” Ron went quiet, opting to stare at the ceiling and anticipate whatever the hell Trevor was going to say. The room fell silent again. Looking at Trevor’s facial expression, it seemed as if Ron’s words struck a chord with Trevor. His face resembled that of sympathy, something I didn't think he was capable of showing, and maybe a hint of guilt.  _ Maybe this whole thing will help their relationship. Who knows how long Ron has felt like this.  _

Trevor stood up. I raced to grab his hand, only for the nausea to kick in again. He turned to me, as I tried to keep the crackers down.

“I’m not leaving, I just need time to think.” His tone felt empty as he stepped over Ron and walked out the door. Ron and I shared a glance before looking towards the door.  _ Does… doesn’t that count as leaving? I mean, I understand, but I think that counts as leaving. _

“I appreciate you expressing how you feel, and I’m sorry that I can’t share those feelings. I’m also sorry that they’ve had to be expressed on someone else’s terms rather than your own.” I said it quietly. I really did appreciate Ron being honest with me and himself, but I also felt immensely bad for him because he’s constantly being verbally and physically attacked by Trevor. 

“Thank you for listening. I feel like I am betraying Trevor, I feel awful for feeling this way towards you. I wish it could be like before. I’d rather be jealous than in love.” I could feel pain in my chest. Is this guilt or stress? I closed my eyes to redirect my focus from the pain.  _ Could this have gone any other way? How can I fix this? Can I fix this?  _ As those thoughts filled my mind, I could feel my consciousness slipping.

 

When I awoke, I was in Trevor’s room. His arm was half-hazardly thrown across my back, while his head was turned away from me. I took a deep breath and wiggled my way to him. It was a bit awkward with his arm on me, but I was hoping the movement would wake him up but he just snored away. I sighed and moved his arm into a more natural position. Sitting up, I embarrassingly turned away from Trevor, now realizing that he only had his underwear on. I forgot he did that when he gets drunk. I gently covered him with the thin blanket. A thought popped in my head as I grabbed a pillow and gently placed it on his back. I started grabbing other things, pillows, clothes and blankets and stacking them on top of him. I had hoped he would wake up from the noise I was causing from moving around the room, but to no avail. At this point, only one arm and head remained uncovered. I changed before walking out of the room. The trailer was littered with beer bottles and as I started to clean up, I could hear a quiet knock on the front door. Upon opening it, I found Michael and Franklin.

“Hey guys, what’s up? Trevor’s still sleeping.” Michael and I shared a hug while Franklin spoke.

“We know, he called us and we went out drinking although I should say, we watched him drink and talk about stuff. We came to check on you guys.” As I let them, I hugged Franklin.

“I appreciate it. It was… pretty bumpy last night.”

“Yeah, we heard you had to go to the hospital, you alright kid?” Michael asked.

“Yeah, just gotta chill. It’s hard not to stress about stuff, I’ve got a lot on my mind.” I crossed my arms across my chest as Michael nodded in understanding. 

“The fuck is goin’ on there?” Franklin asked while pointing towards the bedroom. I glanced in, the pile remained unmoved.

“Ah, he didn’t wake up and I thought stacking things on him would. As you can see, it did nothing.” I said nonchalantly. 

“Yep, I see that.” Michael stated as he strolled over. “Trevor!” No response. “T! Wake the fuck up!” Trevor continued to snore loudly. “Mother fucker. Trevor! Frank and I are heading out with Lily to help her relax!” More snoring. Michael moved to Trevor’s side of the bed, while pulling out his phone and hitting the call button. Trevor’s phone rang loudly, jutting Trevor awake, who in the scramble to find the phone, fell off the bed with the giant pile on him.

“What the- where the fuck did all of this shit come from?!” I laughed as I hopped onto the bed.

“You wouldn’t wake up and I didn’t know how to wake you up without you decking me. I thought you would wake up from the heat, but that didn’t work either.” I grinned as he was apparently stuck between the bed, end table and wall. He held an arm out that Michael grabbed and assisted in helping him up.

“We’re taking Lily out to relax.” Michael repeated.

“Did Lily call you?” Franklin taken aback stated,

“No dawg, you did. You called us, we went out drinking and you asked us to.” 

“Huh?” Trevor looked befuddled. Michael shook his head as I said,

“It sounds like fun. But what are you going to do Trev?” Trevor looked at me curiously before looking down to the floor.

“I’m going to hang out with Ron, see how he’s doing.” 

“That sounds nice.” I smiled.  _ Hopefully that would go well.  _

“Well, kid. Let’s go. We’re just burning daylight at this point.” I hopped off the bed, allowing Franklin and Michael to leave first before grabbing Trevor’s hand. 

“Hey, about last night… are you okay?” I questioned. Trevor kept his focus on the floor, and when he didn’t answer, I asked,

“Listen, I need to know how you’re at least feeling. It’s okay not to be okay.” After a short pause and no reply from him again, I asked,

“Do you want me to leave? It’s okay to end this relationship, no matter how much you wanted it. It’s okay to change your mind.”  _ It’ll hurt like a bitch though, after all of the shit you’ve said. I know that I was taking all of his words with a grain of salt, but it still hurts to be told one day that someone loves you and the next he doesn’t. _ My words seem to bring Trevor back,

“Wai-”

“Think about it and get back to me okay?” I patted his hand as I walked away, heading outside of the trailer.  _ Maybe it was a bad idea to say something, but this needed to be said. I had a sneaking suspicion that he was somewhat talking out of his ass just because he doesn’t want to be alone, but I also feel like he treasures Ron far more than he thought he would. Far more than anyone knows.  _ It would honestly be a stress off my chest, for this relationship to end. Then I wouldn’t have to care about what he was doing at night and I probably wouldn’t have to worry about whether or not he came home alive. I also wouldn’t be trapped in some trailer in the middle of nowhere with no communication. I felt more like a caged bird now than I did before. He fought so hard for this relationship, yet I feel like maybe it wasn’t what he was expecting or what he wanted. But then again, he was completely unpredictable and I’ll never know what the hell he is actually thinking. As I got settled in Michael’s car, I looked outside towards Trevor. 

 

_ I wonder if he’s realized it too. _

 

Michael, Franklin and I sat at a picnic table on the beach as Franklin and I went to town on some hotdogs and fries. Michael was continuously looking around him, until I finally spoke up,

“Man, are you okay? You seem a little paranoid. I know I’m supposed to be de-stressing, but you should be too.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know but I have this sinking feeling about something.” I nodded, no point in questioning someone’s intuition.

“How’s the fam? I talked to Tracey and Amanda on the phone the other day.” I asked.

“Yeah, I heard. Don’t know what you wanted to talk to them about, but they actually took the opportunity to listen to me. We also went to family counseling, which I guess went well. But man, did they rip me a new one when we got home. Hopefully things will only get better from here on out. Been working on a movie recently. We’ll be going to the premiere soon. Which by the way, you should come with.” I laughed.

“That’s good that you’re family is talking to you again, and I’d like to go. I just gotta know what Ron and Trevor will be doing. I feel like all of that is falling apart though. I almost feel like I’m the only one who cares, or who is left caring on this whole thing.”

“Gurl, they both complicated people and I think the farther away you get from the better. They both fuckin’ psychos.” I nodded.

“That’s tru-” Something clicked. My eyes widened as more and more dots started to connect. They had played me like a fiddle and I could feel my blood boil. Those motherfuckers.

“Let’s not think about it too hard for right now, let’s focus on not being stressed. Look.” Michael pointed in a direction. “There’s a ferris wheel. Let’s go on that.” I looked at the Ferris wheel turning slowly.

“Sure, that sounds like fun.” 

 

_ How many people can fit in one of those things? _

 

“Huh, it fits more than I thought it would.” I stated bewildered.

“Same, I thought we were going to have to break off into pairs.” Michael said.

“Ya’ll say that, but it’s not particularly comfortable.” Franklin groaned.

“Don’t know what you’re talking about.” The small cart or whatever was actually decently sized, if everyone was my size. I was sharing a seat with Michael, and we fit kind of nicely, but Franklin was kind of a tall guy. He also was very fit and had muscle so that also kind of made him a big guy. So out of the three of us, he didn’t really fit too comfortably. He practically had to duck in order to get in and as he sat down so that he didn’t bang his head on the top. 

“Anyways, let’s talk about you.” I quipped, directly my full attention to Franklin. “How’s everything with that friend?”

“He’s good, still fuckin’ stupid, but good.”

“Oh?”

“Fuckin’ moron put himself in that position and then practically yelled at me for getting him out like some asshole. Like bitch, I just saved yo ass why the hell you gettin’ on my fuckin’ case.” I laughed, his friend and Ron kind of sounded the same; irrational.

“Yeah and when we met up with the guy, he did help but he was almost reluctant to.” Michael spat. I raised a brow as Franklin continued,

“Yeah, and it was my ex-girlfriend who also dissed me hard and made me go help. Like she knows the fuckin’ guy AND for some reason I have to help him even though he’s burned me so many times. She don’t fuckin’ understand anything.” I nodded sadly. 

“That’s rough my dude. Has she always been like that?” I tried to sympathize. 

“Yeah, we dated, for like, a short while and I was really into her. But after that, man I don’t know either of them. I’m always being told to do shit and never get the chance to actually be my own person. I’m either dragged or forced into someone else’s bullshit. No one backs me the fuck up.” Hearing him out, I realized that while Franklin is the most normal, he also struggles with just trying to be normal by trying to get away from all of the crazy. We had a lot more in common than I thought.

“Maybe it goes without saying, but maybe the best word to learn is ‘no.’” I put my hand up quickly to both Michael and Franklin. “I know it doesn’t seem like I say no to Trevor and Ron, but I do. A fuck ton. And it’s easy.” I shifted in my seat.

“The first thing you gotta think about is, is putting yourself in danger really worth it? How much would it weigh on your conscious if you don’t do it? Is this person worth helping? How much has this person helped you? Does this person have your back? Do you have that person’s back? If you said no to a lot of those questions, then you probably can say no, pretty confidently to the person. Let’s do an example. Name someone you hate.” Franklin nodded and then answered,

“This fucker named Stretch, he’s bad news.”

“Okay, that name sounds like a bad name to call yourself. Let’s say Stretch, asks you to spot him 50 bucks.” 

“I guess that’s okay.” 

“You guess or do you know? Will this person pay you back? Are you stable with money right now? Would you really spot somebody you hate?” Franklin was quiet as he sat in thought. 

“I… I wouldn’t spot him.”

“Okay, so then that’s a no. Name someone you like.”

“Michael and I are cool.”

“Alright, now let’s say Michael tells you that he crashed his vehicle and has to go to work so he asks to borrow yours, but you also need to work. What do you do?” 

“I… I don’t fuckin’ know. That shits complicated.”

“It’s not. You can carpool, you can help him in other ways that doesn’t cripple you. I know for some people would be an automatic yes, others you come up with a mutual agreement and for some you say no. It’s not as complicated if you’re absolutely sure you know how you feel about each person.”

“Well, what about you?” Michael chimed in.

“What about me?” I curled a brow.

“Trevor comes up to you and asks you to spot him $100, you know is going to go to drugs, what do you say?”

“I say fuck no. He’s got his business and shit for that. Go bother Ron.”

“Okay, what about Ron? Ron comes up to you and asks you for… let’s say $200.”

“Also fuck no, he can ask his employer for money. I don’t give any fucker money, I never get paid back. That’s just a rule.”

“What if I ask?”

“Ask what?”

“Ask for money.”

“How much?”

“Didn’t you say that it was a rule?”

“Answer the question.” 

“Let’s say $20.”

“That’s alright.”

“But you said it was a rule!”

“It’s $20, I’m not that stingy.” Franklin started to laugh as Michael asked,

“What about… Franklin?”

“I trust Franklin. But I gotta know where it’s goin’.”

“So you trust us, but not your boyfriend?”

“I know my boyfriend is a drug addict, alcoholic and has a need for speed, fucker can bail himself out.” Seriousness in my tone. Michael laughed,

“If only he was here to hear that. I’m sure he’d argue with you about some type of stupid shit about how he’s ‘real people.’” I laughed as the doors to the cabin doors opened. We stepped out and walked towards the end of the harbor.

“You guys have known each other for a long time, do you have any idea what he’s thinking?” I asked Michael.

“Hell no, you think he’s that predictable? I’ve never known and I’ll never know.” Sarcasm in his tone. We stopped at the railing, the waves crashing into the pier’s posts. 

“What do you think is gonna happen between you and Trevor?” Franklin asked, Michael looking at me with some degree of interest. I shrugged.

“Who knows… I will be sad if the relationship ends this way, although it wouldn’t be the worst thing.” Michael placed a hand on my shoulder,

“Well, whatever happens, happens. But we’ll still be here kid to support you in any way. Just because you two aren’t together anymore, doesn’t mean any of us don’t actually care about you. I think it helps to think of the relationship naturally meeting the end. It’s not like you guys are at each other’s throats and I don’t think he’s going to kill you.” I nodded sadly. Even if the relationship was at the end of its natural life-cycle, as well as everyone pretty much foreseeing it, it still hurt, and I think in the end; I would probably be sad to say good-bye to Trevor. I mean, I would probably be able to go home, because the FIB wouldn’t be able to use me and Devin will want nothing to do with me. But, what would happen with everyone else? They’ve been my support system this entire time; would they be okay with everything going on? I sighed, laying my head on top of my hands. I closed my eyes, just focusing on the wind cooling me down.

“Is it possible to get another chance to just start over?” A voice behind me made me immediately stand up as I turned around to see a well-dressed and somewhat embarrassed Trevor. In one of his hands was a small bouquet. 

“I know that it doesn’t solve anything, but there’s a huge part of me that knows that it’ll help.” He held out the bouquet.

“Please give me another chance so that I can get to know you better and fall in love with you harder.” I looked to both Franklin and Michael who both had smirks on their faces. Michael placed a hand on my shoulder.

“Had to distract you kid. You catch on way too quick to shit.” Blood rushed to my face as Franklin gently pushed me closer to Trevor.

“We’ll see you later kid. Have fun on your date!” Michael waved at us as Franklin followed behind. I turned back to Trevor, gently taking the flowers out of his hand.

“I feel severely under dressed now.” The black suit he was wearing was clearly over shadowing my draping tank-top, jean-shorts and knee-high cat socks.

“That’s okay, I wore this, because I know you like me in this suit.” I felt as if I was turning a deeper shade of red if not several at this point. Trying to hide my face in the flowers, he continued,

“I actually have a surprise for you, so if you will follow me.” He gently took my hand, leading me away from the pier. I tightly squeezed his hand.

 

_ I wonder where we’re going. _

 

“Whoa, everybody looks like ants. Like I can squish them with my finger. *squish*.” Trevor chuckled as I ecstatically looked out the coptor’s windows. He had obtained special permission to actually fly over the city and as evening set, the entire city seemed to light up into a thousand little lights. Tiny cars seemed to race around and people seemed to almost disappear from view. Trevor in particular had had a large grin on his face as he was finally going to give me the Los Santos tour I deserved. 

“Ah, the FIB building is huge! Hey where’s Michael’s house?” 

“Over here.” Trevor stated slowly moving the copter. We hovered over a small neighborhood, until Michael’s house came into view.

“Hello Michael’s house.” I gently waved as we began to gain some distance. 

“This is so cool Trevor!” I turned to him, grin on my face; he grinned back. As he turned his attention forward, his facial expression cooled into something more relaxed. I guess to him it was natural, and just right for him to be up here. I don’t know how he was before, maybe he was just as bad as he was now. I’ll never know any of that; but I will know that if he had been allowed to, maybe he’d feel a bit more normal than he does now. As we continued flying, I fell back into the seat, flowers laying in my lap and everything else seemed to be gone. It was kind of cute how hard he was trying but overall incredibly romantic. My heart began to thump loudly in my chest as we flew over more buildings, finally landing back at the helipad. It began to thump louder and louder in my chest as he grabbed my hand, leading me back to the bodhi. He gripped it tightly as we drove through Los Santos, stopping at the coast. The ferris wheel was lit up brightly in the distance, voices could be heard all around from parties and small friendly gatherings and then there was us. We walked hand in hand on the beach as the tide was inching its way closer and closer. Everything was so calming.

 

One moment, I closed my eyes to enjoy the breeze and the next I was waking up in Trevor’s trailer in his arms. I almost forgot; that we shared a kiss on the beach as the waves decided to threaten my shoe; how we told each other things we loved and liked about each other at a wooden picnic table until some guy came over and asked to borrow it; laughing at each other’s dumb jokes as we walked back to the vehicle; how tightly he held my hand after I told him I still loved him while we drove back home, and how we simply fell asleep in each other’s arms while talking about what we wanted to do the next day. It felt like it was a dream, and upon waking up, I was so happy that it wasn’t. I took a deep breath before relaxing back on his arm. As his eyes fluttered open, I smiled and said,

“Good morning.” 

“Morning.” He yawned. “What time is it?”

“No idea.” I grinned shyly. He groaned as his phone began to ring.

“Hello? Huh? Whatever.” He held the phone out. “It’s Michael.” I took it curiously.

“Hello?”

“Hey kid, got big news.” Michael had excitement in his voice.

“Oh?” I began to sit up as Trevor rolled himself out of bed.

“Yep, that movie I’ve been working on? Premieres tonight.”

“Whoa! That’s cool! Are you and the fam’ goin’?”

“Yeah, wanted to see if you wanted to come too.”

“Hold on real quick.” I covered the bottom of the phone and turned to Trevor who was trying to get a change of clothes. “Hey, we doing anything tonight?”

“Yeah.” Trevor said turning to me with a brow raised.

“Really?”

“Yeah, but it’s a secret.” I nodded and removed my hand from the bottom of the phone.

“Sorry Michael, Trevor apparently already has plans.”

“Oh? Oh! Shit, yeah sorry I forgot. Got a little over excited. That’s cool, you have fun kid.”

“I will and congrats on your movie!”

“Thanks.” With that, we both hung up. I crawled out of bed, looking at the phone for the time. 10:45.

“It’s 10:45. That’s a relief. I thought we slept until the afternoon again.”

“Nothing wrong with that.” Trevor muttered turning towards me. I walked over, and forced him to turn around.

“If we have plans today, wouldn’t we miss them then if we were to sleep any longer?” I started to change my clothes.

“Well, maybe, maybe not. Which is why I have a special alarm clock.”

“Oh?” As I finished changing, I felt arms around my waist.

“Yeah, Ron was supposed to wake us up by 11.” I laughed, turning around and placing my hands on his shoulders,

“See that’s the problem. You set an alarm and then you always wake up before that alarm even goes off.” He placed a gentle kiss on my forehead.

“That seems decently accurate, although I think it’s because you were next to me.”

“Ah, so I’m the alarm clock.” I patted his shoulders, pulling away and walking into the other room.

“What did you want for… I guess brunch?” He followed me.

“There’s no need for that, since we’ll be heading out soon anyways.” I turned around to look at him as a gentle knock came from the front door.

“It’s Ron!” Trevor opened the door, Ron standing on the other side, nervously waiting.

“You wanna come in?” I laughed. Ron looked away. Trevor gently shut the door on Ron, both remaining silent. I curled a brow,

“Excuse me? What the hell was that about?” I walked over to the door, moving Trevor to the side, but upon opening it, there was no Ron in sight.

“What the fuck?” I shut the door. “Soooo, you gonna tell me what’s up with you and Ron? Why even open the door if you weren’t even going to invite him in?” I crossed my arms. Trevor looked nervous away, replying,

“Well, the day I went to hang out, let’s say we had a nice little chat. He now knows his boundaries.”

“So you guys still work together?”

“Well he was fired for a short while, and then I realized then I’d have to do all the work and find the resources and Ron’s good at that. So I went back to talk to him, we had a business talk and we haven’t gotten around to figuring out the rest of it.” 

“So you’re on a professional basis?”

“Yes.” Trevor crossed his arms, stood up straight, almost taking a defiance stand against me.

“Well… what if I want to still be friends with him? I don’t think he’s the bad of a guy. Confused, and clingy but you’re like his best friend or at this point ‘was.’” Trevor looked down at me.

“Well… I guess, but I don’t think it’ll work out so maybe not talk to him for a while. He’s in love with you remember. You can’t just be friends with him because his feelings will get in the way.”  _ Wow, what an actual solid point. _

“You don’t look comfortable with it, I guess I’ll just leave him alone for now.” I walked away, making myself comfortable on a counter. Trevor came, entrapping me between his arms on the counter. He placed his head softly on one of my shoulders, sighing deeply in relief. I hugged him in response as his phone went off. He groaned, pulling away and answering,

“What?” He stopped in place.

“What do you- fuck. Fine.” He hung up, heading to the door without looking at me and stating,

“I have to leave for a business thing. I’ll be right back. Hopefully this won’t take me hours to complete as we have shit to do. I’ll call you.”

“Be safe!” I called out immediately. Being left on the counter, the trailer suddenly felt vastly empty. It reminded me of when Ron would have to watch me, I couldn’t even get peace if I wanted it and now I suddenly feel like there’s too much silence after Trevor and Ron have wormed their way into my life. It almost seemed like everyone was exiting stage right in my life suddenly; Trevor was back now, but Ron was being held out at an arm’s length. I hopped off, rummaging through cupboards to look for food.   


_ Wonder what I’ll do now. _

At this point, I was now laying on the futon wondering what the hell was taking Trevor so long. Since Ron confessed his feelings, everything has been weird. Trevor’s been weird and I’ve been trying to ask how Trevor feels about it, but there seems to be no time for questions. Our last conversation and some following up to it, seemed to be almost robotic. It was only a matter of time before one of us broke, and the robotic and fake conversations would just fall with it. What was really getting me, was what the hell did he have freaking planned? If this was his way of not following through with something he planned, that’s pretty douchey. Imma judge him hella hard if he doesn’t come home until tomorrow.

A heavy knock came at the door. I sat up slowly and looked towards it. A wave of anxiety pushed through as I carefully made my way to the front door blinds.  _ Trevor? _ No. I opened the door to Devin Weston, who wore a black suit and tie. He sauntered in, pushing past me into the middle of the room.

“Hey gorgeous, where’s Philips? He around?”

“Kind of, where’s Molly?” The woman didn’t seem to make any appearance. I was expecting to hear her shrill voice behind me but rather Devin answered me.

“Oh, Michael didn’t tell you?” I curled a brow. “He got my assistant killed so now I’m stranded. So I’m here to collect.”

“Collect what? Trevor’s got jack shit here and if your beef is with Michael, this is the farthest place from anything he cares about.”

“That’s where you’re wrong beautiful, you matter to him immensely. So much so that I know he called you to come to his premiere. So, with that being said, I’m here to collect you. You either come with me willingly or we’ll do this the hard way.” I glared at him, asking,

“Where the fuck is the logic in that? How does that make any fucking sense and what do you want with me? You’re going to use me as a bargaining chip against Michael?”

“There’s plenty of logic in it. You’re smart and far more beautiful, just less thirsty, than Molly. You have the skills I need to counter these three idiots and Imma make you help me. I won’t have to use you as a bargaining chip when I’m going to keep you permanently. You stick with me and you can get anything that you want. Cars, boats, houses, new clothes, anything you dream of, if you stick with me.”

“Wow, you sound like that one guy, what was his name? Oh yeah, Lazlow, except you seem more competent.”

“Hey, don’t compare me to that ugly fuck. He’s nowhere near my level.”

“Don’t compare me to Molly.” I took a stand against him. “I’m going to ask you to leave once, that’s it, and you’re going to.” Devin laughed.

“Yeah, I don’t think so.” He smoothly pulled out a gun. “I don’t think you’re in a position to make demands.” He took a step back, almost anticipating my movements as I had taken a step further.

“I’d be very careful if I were you; I know what happens. Now you’re going to leave out the door.” I slowly moved to the door and opened it, before immediately slamming it shut and ducking. A shot was fired, light creeping out of the hole as I turned to my left and jumped over the porch. I found myself on the side of the trailer, out of sight from Devin. 

“Where the fuck-?! You’re making it harder for yourself when you do shit like this!” He screamed. The front door sounded like it had been kicked open. I could feel the still hot rocks under my feet in the dark. I had accidentally ran into a cactus and could feel in the pines in my leg. I carefully grabbed a rock, and chucked it at a vehicle that was parked at the fence. It clinked against it, and as I watched, a small red dot seemed to make its way to me. Moving silently to the other side, it stopped where I had once stood. It started to flash before another gun went off, blowing dust and dirt into the air.  _ I’m being watched. _ I was standing too close to another cactus when I decided to jump the next fence. If I was quiet enough, I might make it, but the problem here would be the clinking of the fence. The entire place was dead silent and there was no room for random noises in the vicinity. Grabbing another rock, I threw it at Ron’s trailer, before glancing around and running to the opposite side. I stopped at the garage as I heard another gun-shot. 

“Ms. Phillips, I don’t want you to get hurt; so I’m going to need you to comply.” Devin’s voice rang out as I carefully opened the garage door, sliding under the bottom and closing it again. It was dark as hell inside and feeling around led to me stubbing my toe several times. I had rocks clinging to my socks as I found a gross piece of furniture. I shoved myself behind it and what seemed to be boxes, waiting for something to happen. 

“I know you’re in the garage. I don’t even want to think of what Philips keeps here.” I could hear him painfully gasp as the garage door scraped open. Flashlight beams peppered the wall as several footsteps grew closer. 

“Grenade!” An unfamiliar voice yelled, I shoved my fingers in my ears in response. The vibrations and sound from the explosion were somewhat dulled out, but I could feel my heart thumping at a different rate than what it was originally. I warily peeked out. Devin was now on the ground, seemingly and strangely uninjured but he was covered in a whole lot of blood. It seemed to decorate the entire area. Glancing around once more for anyone else, I hopped out of my spot, stopping by Devin to grab his gun and head out. I stopped on the side, looking out again before running out. 

“Lily!” A loud whisper came from my right. Ron stood on the other side of the porch, waving at me. I sprinted to his side.

“We have to get you out of here.” I nodded as we raced towards the fence. I heard a click to my right. My arms, moving on their own, grabbed Ron and pulled him back, propelling myself forward as a gun fired. I wasn’t sure at first whether or not it had hit at first. The first wave of pain, I had assumed from my fucked up leg. The pines were decently long, so the amount of pain wouldn’t be too bad, but this was immense; too much for me to keep moving. I dropped to the dirt as another shot went off. I heard my name and another wave of stabbing pain ran through me as I attempted to find it. 

 

And after a while, my vision and hearing went out too. Darkness overwhelmed me, and the only thought on my mind was:

 

_ Was Ron okay? _


	18. A Day In The Life of Ron

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Special little chapter inside Ron's thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all! Hope all is well with you guys. I'm trying to make chapters ahead of time so that we can keep to a schedule and you guys can get contact every week. I've been getting busy and life is coming at me hard so if it comes up a day late or something; I am super sorry! I am still working on this bad boy! Just takes me a bit. It's a short chapter this time around, sorry about that! Thanks again for all of the comments; those really do motivate me to write and work more!   
> Please let me know what you think of this chapter! Thank you for reading!

I sat in the hospital room waiting for the doctor to come out. Lily had been comatose for about 3 weeks now and Trevor had all but disappeared. A phone call would have been nice but I guess that was asking for too much. He had only visited her in the first week, crying his eyes out and I could do nothing to console him. The worthlessness and helplessness that I felt was crushing me. Michael came by a couple of times, but he would always kick me out to talk to her with that thug, Franklin. 

I was growing increasingly frustrated in that I could visit her, but the doctors wouldn’t speak a word to me about what was going on. I knew that her stress had been mounting and now this Merryweather bullshit was really the last straw. If I had been more careful, if I could have protected myself, then Lily wouldn’t have thrown herself in front of me to protect me. She got shot and now she’s in the hospital. I was hoping she would have been awake by now, but it was impossible to say as no doctor would talk to me. As I watched the doctor leave, I swiftly moved inside. 

After she got shot, my heart seemed to drop into my feet. I couldn’t even raise my gun to the person who shot her, that Merryweather soldier. Trevor had come out of nowhere and shot him right in the neck. I tried to make my body move, but as the failure I am, I just watched Trevor breakdown and apply pressure to Lily’s wound as he yelled at me. It took awhile to wake up. I called an ambulance and we waited until they could take her. She had been shot right into her abdomen, aligned with her diaphragm. After they took her, what Trevor did after was horrifying. Even though all of those soldiers were dead, he still took the opportunity to bash each one's heads in. Devin, who was, still unconscious was also taken by an ambulance but he was in police custody. It was being seen as self-defense over what had happened. I remember seeing the police kick some of the soldier’s bodies themselves. Franklin and Michael raced their way over here, and upon finding her in that condition, started a screaming match between the four of us. 

Although Trevor didn’t say much but cry, he shook me violently while Franklin and Michael continued to talk about things. 

“Why didn’t you protect her? Why didn’t you fucking do anything?” 

“I threw the grenade…”

“You could have gotten her killed too, you fucking idiot!” Michael had screamed at me, almost more so than Trevor. Franklin just shook his head as they began to plan things against Weston. 

Now, after that shit show, I was seeing her for the fourth time this week. Her whole body was covered by wires and tubes. It just broke my heart even more that I couldn’t even do anything for her at this point. What could I possibly do right now to change any of this? I kept imagining what could happen when she woke up. I wanted to be right by her side, holding her hand, and then she would know that she’s important to me. But deep down, I knew, as I sat down in the chair and took her hand in mine, that it would never happen like that. Trevor could be here and he would probably make me go away. Michael and Franklin could be here and then I wouldn’t even be in the room to know that she was awake. I always seemed to have the odds stacked against me, no matter how hard I tried. I didn’t resent Trevor over anything that had happened, but I did feel upset that he’s always been put in front of me as if I don’t matter, or that I’m chopped liver.

I gently rubbed her knuckles with my hand. I was secretly hoping that she was thinking of me and that upon waking up, she would ask for me first. I know it would hurt Trevor immensely but for once I wanted to be put first. I was, at one time or another, happily married and Trevor opened my eyes to an entire new world of possibilities and people. I vowed I wouldn’t allow the constraints of my marriage to slow me down or force me to become like the other sheep of this country. I left my marriage behind with confidence at Trevor’s side, and we’ve been stuck like glue since. There were a couple times within the ten years of our friendship when there would be a little frustration between us. When he first started making deals and problems with people, it was beyond stressful and I couldn’t find the time to breath. Then when they made the truce, something felt right and powerful being by his side as he lead a large part of this county into good money. He would take a bit here and there from my side, but I knew that it was for the good of the company.

Although, my bills are my own problems, I never felt too cheated when Trevor wanted to use the business’ funds for things. It wasn’t until he kidnapped this girl. We had gone two states over for something, a deal that was supposed to take us across state lines and expand our business; the guy decided that he wanted to back out after seeing Trevor’s erratic behavior and one of the other guy’s people was a college student who had tried to make a run for it at the last minute. We found him in the library and that’s when we met her. 

I had a very negative view of her when I first saw her and I couldn’t help but hate her. T fell for her almost instantly and it hurt every second when he would talk to her so gently or be so close to her. Everything was built on being nice to her and it was only a matter of time before those dominoes fell into the wrong place. When he first started talking about her, I could just feel everything bubble into anger. He would talk about her hair, eyes and lips as if they weren’t something that he could just take, but he wanted to keep this woman, wanted her to like him. He continuously talked about how soft her hands were and how gentle her demeanor was. She was polite and seemed very smart. He caught on very quickly that she was definitely more than what she seemed but he liked that about her, that mystery. Trevor also couldn’t get over her name, he kept repeating it, beyond tempted to buy her a thousand of those flowers but argued with me that she was far more beautiful than  _ some _ flower. I remembered that day, the dopey smile on his face, the excited tone of voice that he held while talking about her and that he couldn’t stop sighing. I knew he had fallen hard and yet my heart wasn’t ready to let him.

When his trailer was getting destroyed by the Lost, my immediate thought was to the mess that they were causing; I’d have to fix it up. It wasn’t until the TV flew out the window of Trevor’s room, did I actually remember that Lily existed. After that, I knew I would be screwed if I didn’t try to bring her to safety. It was the only reason I helped her with anything. After we had all of those mini-fights, she essentially fucked up my knee and sent me to the hospital. I don’t know what possessed me to actually defend her… maybe it was because I knew I was going to get screwed in the end anyways. After they left for Los Santos, the overbearing loneliness kicked in. I tried hard to find Trevor work, only for it to be fruitless work. No one wanted to make connections with him at this time so I had to find other work. The entire time they were gone, I only kept thinking when he would be back and if she could just be gone. I was hoping that he would lose her temper and kill her, that way it could just be the two of us again. But no, she came back and with Michael and that old lady. They took up most of his time and it almost felt like he was ignoring me. We spent a little bit of time together, but it wasn’t enough for me to feel like I mattered in this view of his new life. The look in his eyes when they were doing the puzzle, already told me what he really wanted and it didn’t seem to include me.

His eyes looked at that table of people with such longing, it wasn’t an expression that I was familiar with. I had seen him want things all of the time, and I’ve watched him take them,  but for some reason this was something that he wanted to nurture and savor. I knew it was hard for him during that time to control his feelings but it was difficult for me too. I felt so lost. When we finally got some alone time, all he could do was talk about the old lady and Lily. How happy everything was when the two were doing things together, the food that was cooked, how funny Lily was with Michael and how Michael actually seemed happy too. He had told me what he had done to Lily in the bedroom in extreme and uncomfortable detail, but slightly regretted not being able to control himself. I was just furious that she was distracting him while we were doing other things with far more meaning and purpose. I had said some things that seemed to make the light in his eyes die and I regretted it so much that I asked everyone to stay, but I knew it was futile. 

Then Lily left. She escaped as she trapped me in the restroom and when I was saved, the crazed look in Trevor’s eyes was what put me in my place. He looked like a wreck, and as he forced me to come across state lines, I was trying extra hard to find her. I had caught a small glimpse of her at the bus stop and pointed it out. We had little time to catch her as she ran up the hill. Trevor sprinted so quickly up to her. I watched the whole ordeal of him begging her to stay, that he couldn’t live without her, and then him putting her on the train. It wasn’t until then that I realized that he really couldn’t let her go as I had advised him so many times to do. I was going to let her escape, have her freedom, victory and get away from the mess that is our lives. It wasn’t until the train that I realized that we simply couldn’t do that.

Even as I fought with her after she got back, with the anger of being trapped in the bathroom and now the hatred of her breaking Trevor’s heart, I couldn’t stop myself from acting out and being aggressive around her. He told me a little bit after that they actually consummated their love and was so happy that he just happened to give me every little detail. He talked about the perfection of her body, how kissing her made his head swim and that she was the best that he’d ever had. I cringed at that; I didn’t think she was anything special. 

It wasn’t until she hugged me and called me her friend that I realized how terrible I had been. Trevor forced me to pay back in full for allowing her to escape, and I’m still technically paying for it; he was almost acting as if I had a hand in it. When Lily and I argued, it took a while, but it clicked that every time Trevor talked about her, he was giving me a chance to connect, not with her, but him. It was something important to him and I just kept kicking it to the side because I was jealous. That hug was something that just woke me up. Everything after that, I realized how much I had messed up in everything up until that point. I should have been more considerate to his feelings and even now I’m not. He keeps leaving her behind, clearly stressing her out that any attempts to distract her, have apparently led to more stress. 

When we had the cook-off that’s when I knew that I fell for her. It was like watching a beautiful masterpiece come together and she was the gorgeous artist making it all possible. I couldn’t focus on anything because every time I looked at her, my heart would stop. 

I kissed her on impulse; I said it was as an apology for taking the laptop and sending all of those emails, but what else could I have said? It was then that I knew what Trevor was talking about. Everything about her was soft and gentle. Upon seeing Trevor again, I realized that I couldn’t just keep it to myself, and I was already decently sure that she would tell Trevor because that’s the type of person she is. When I told him, I felt like I was Michael, a fat snake. I was tempted to just drink the pain away until I saw Trevor suddenly leave the trailer. It felt like I had one chance to actually tell her everything that was on my mind. 

I was just happy that she didn’t even interrupt me, but was devastated when Trevor had. When she was first diagnosed with stress problems, I could only think of how to make things better for her. And then she went on that date. I was so jealous of Trevor. He had planned something beautiful for her; flowers, a flight, a walk on the beach. I wanted it so badly; the feeling of being in love again. Especially with someone who knew how to respect others, had the patience and just kind all around. It was almost as if I was always being cheated out of everything. Trevor got the girl, the money, intellect and strength to essentially make him the ideal person. Here I was, flimsy, divorced, broke and dumb. Everything Trevor’s said to me was true. I’m worthless beyond belief and even when I try to change, I’m a failure in the end. 

One of the few times Trevor talked to me, he glared at me with such disgust, I immediately thought that, no one should look at me different than with disgust. I know how I look in general is unappealing, middle-aged and beyond ugly, but Lily has been the only person who has looked at me as if I wasn’t all of those other things. She made me feel like a person again. I thought that I had regained my agency when I decided to work with Trevor and live in the desert; and here I am. Realizing that I lost it to the person who means so much to me. I thought Trevor was my savior and there are days when I do doubt that, but never as hard as now, as Lily is injured and Trevor is nowhere to be found. Her heart stopped six times; I’m surprised she’s even alive. 

“What the fuck are you doing in here?” A tired, deep voice said behind me. I turned my head slowly towards the door. Trevor looked like a complete mess; puffy red eyes with bags underneath, a five-o’clock shadow and a frown so deep, it was almost permanent on his face.

“Just visiting Lily.” I replied quietly.

“Well, there’s no fucking need for you to hold her hand or even touch her. Now get the fuck out.” I stood, sadly walking out as he took my seat, taking her hand in his. I shut the door and walked to the bench on the other side. All I could do was wait, and even then, I wouldn’t even be the one who got to see her wake up. I put my head in my hands, breathing in and out slowly. I cried for the first few days and thinking about all of this again, just made me spiral back into the first week. I nearly fucking killed her and I don’t think I could ever ask for forgiveness.

 

_ I wish she’d just wake up for me. _

 


	19. Thinking On The Situation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael's thoughts on the entire situation from start to finish.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all!  
> Thank you to everyone who wrote me those very nice comments! You guy have totally made my week! For that; I am putting up this week's chapter a little early!  
> I've been working pretty hard on these next few chapters and they will be getting intense in terms of language and content. Trigger Warning for the next chapter.  
> Thanks for reading and let me know what you think! <3

I didn’t think it would go this far. Honestly, I was hoping she would get away from this whole mess and I’d just have to clean up everything after. I could deal with Trevor’s meltdowns, I’d already been through enough of those to figure out how to calm his ass down. Well, I did think that, but now I wasn’t so sure. I had received a call early morning after my own fucking mess, Trevor was practically incomprehensible. I told Manda that I’d be right back because I had no fucking clue what was going on. She had initially begged me to tell her what was going on, but I honestly had no idea either. When I got to his trailer, the whole fucking thing was messed up. There were bullets everywhere, part of his fucking garage and trailer was missing, and blood was just all over the place. It kind of looked like the movie set. Ron had been sitting on the steps of the trailer when I got there. When I asked what happened, he just kept repeating that he was a failure. I shook and threatened him to tell me where Trevor was.

“He’s at the hospital.” He was so monotone, I almost thought his soul had gotten ripped out. I dropped him and headed over to the Sandy Shores hospital where Trevor sat in the waiting room. I’d seen him fucked up; shit, I’m probably the only person to see him at his lowest point but this… was an all new low. He had practically scratched the skin off his arms, and when I approached him, he immediately jumped up and approached me.

“What are you-” Before I could get any words out, he pulled me into a tight hug. He never hugs me. While it was uncomfortable, I sighed and patted him on the back before pushing him away.

“What are you doing here?” Finally completing my sentence.

“Li-Li-Lily got fucking shot.” His hands were on my shoulders as if trying to prepare me for the news. My heart stopped for a second before I asked,

“What the fuck do you mean she got shot? Where the fuck were you?! Where the fuck was that stupid ass maid?!” My temper was boiling over fast.

“De-Devin fucking Weston had men come attack her at the same time as your family was getting attacked. But that motherfucker came personally. I-I-I was doing business stuff. I-I-I was busy! I didn’t know this was going to happen. Ron had left her alone and I told him to, but as soon as the shooting broke out, I expected him to fucking help her. He ended up throwing a grenade in the fucking area and she was within the fucking kill radius, but with all the bodies, it seemed to shield her. But that dumb fuck threw a goddamn M67! An M67! I can’t fucking believe, she’s not fucking dead or-or-or-or has any fucking fragments stuck in her. Her ears suffered some damage because of course just covering your ears isn’t going to fucking help when you’re at the edge of the kill radius of a fucking grenade.” Trevor sat back down and covered his face.

“For fuck’s sake. Why can’t I catch a break? Why can I just fucking be happy?” Trevor started to sob as I stood unsure what to do. Usually I’d be quick to make a joke, but I could feel the shock hit me. 

“Where is she? Let me see her.” My fists were clenched so tightly, I was beginning to shake.

“We can’t go in. She’s getting fucking surgery.” He replied quietly. Tears streaming down his face. I could feel the frustration build up. I wanted to hurt something, someone, kick a trash-can, fucking anything. I pulled out my phone, dialing Frank.

“What’s up Mikey?”

“You fuckin’ doin’ anything right now man?”

“Naw dawg, I’m free. What, you wanna chill?”

“I fucking wish. I’m at Sandy Shores Hospital, we need you down here.”

“Aight I’ll be there.” I hung up, sitting down next to Trevor.

“So what now? We just have to wait?” I looked over at Trevor who was whimpering like a child, sadly nodded in reply. I let out an exasperated sigh and leaned back into the chair. What an absolute shit show. The fact that he was a mess over something like this was odd; usually by now he was plotting or acting on impulse against people but I guess there’s a lot more to this than I thought.

I thought about when he first brought her up. He had just walked back into my life, scared the shit out of my family and we were on the way to the Lazlow and Tracey when he had brought it up. 

“I’ve got someone important in my life now, so I can’t babysit you as much any more.”

“Thank god, who's the poor sucker? Which poor sap did you kidnap?” Trevor had looked offended.

“I’ll have you know that when comes to kidnapping, if there’s love, then it’s not kidnapping.”

“What kind of fucking logic is that?” We had an argument all the way there because of that stupid comment. I thought who ever it was, was delusional and must be as crazy as he was; only to be pleasantly surprised that she was normal, intelligent and actually thought about her actions and the consequences. She was calculating, and wasn’t impulsive in the least. Trevor’s obsession with her seemed obvious. She gave good advice that I should have tried to use when talking to my family. Him, having me watch over her, how close he stood next to her, and the way he looked at her. I wanted to help her, or at least get out so that she could live her life. She was clearly going places and she didn’t need Trevor dragging her down.

Her love for old movies and diners only gave me a better impression. She wasn’t a picky eater, although her love for milkshakes was strong, and she didn’t seem to have an overall need for material things. It seemed to be the basics for her. When Trevor decked Lazlow, I felt like we had the same idea. Trevor was merely protecting his territory and it was evident on her face that she knew that. The glare and caution on her face, not immediately jumping to thank him when it happened; it was almost as if she knew what he was doing, that she had experienced this before all through observation and Trevor’s actions. When we did that retrieval mission for Davey, he couldn’t stop talking about her then either. He was so focused on getting back to her.

“Hey, maybe you’d be the wrong person to ask for this, but what would be the best gift to give someone as beautiful as Lily?”

“You mean other than her freedom?”

“No jokes porkchop. Serious questions need serious answers.”

“I was serious. Lily isn’t someone that you can keep on a short leash. If you actually do feel the way that you do about her, you would be trying to make her happy by giving her more freedom and taking better care of her. You seem to have a way of stepping on landmines when you’re trying to make someone happy.” Trevor went silent up until after the mission.

“Mikey, listen. I really want her to be happy, but I don’t want her to go. If I do, she’s going to run so far that I’ll never be able to catch her. Just give me some helpful advice on how to make her happy. Every time I hold her hand, it feels like my heart is just going to fucking burst. It’s so small and soft and I just can’t stop thinking about the feeling.” I was shocked that he was actually trying to keep this person; it almost seemed like it was normal if you ignored the basis of; he kidnapped her and now he was trying to make her develop stockholm syndrome. 

“Lily is way too good for that. She doesn’t need you keeping her in a small cage. She needs space; she wants to go to college, she wants to do more with her life than we ever will or whatever you could bring to her. She’s an individual, not something to be won.” His face contorted and he had yelled,

“Fuck you! What do you know? Why would I even ask you? Your whole marriage is falling the fuck apart.” He stomped off, leaving me stranded at the lot.

He then dropped her off for two fucking weeks, calling every god damn night to ask how she was, if she was talking about him and all that bullshit. I thought by now, with the space, he would have thought, maybe this was a bad idea. No, and he didn’t seem to change. He stayed insistent that I must be with her at all times or he was going to rip my throat out. Any time we were doing anything, he would talk about her. Her hair, how nice she was, how beautiful and gentle and all this other bullshit. Every night, he would call and say that something happened between them and that he felt like it was progress in their relationship.

“The other night, she told me she wouldn’t manipulate me. She wouldn’t take advantage of me, unlike someone I know.” He spat. It was then I realized that she was a lot smarter than she was letting him on. She was actually thinking of the consequences of emotional manipulation of Trevor and how that could lead to her death. She also probably said it, because he’s constantly watching her like crazy and that he would probably notice something was wrong immediately if she suddenly started acting nice. 

When she fought off that gangster that had a gun to her head, I was majorly impressed. I don’t think I considered her anything but a poor soul until that happened. She knew how to handle herself and was very good at showing Trevor her weak side so that he wouldn’t try to use her for anything else. It was fortunate that he didn’t see her do it either or else there would have been more problems. He had talked about her being fragile and needed protecting; but it was very clear that he had no idea what she was talking about. She was doing a great job in keeping everything about her a secret. 

“Dawg, if Trevor finds out-”

“Trevor ain’t going to find out because we aren’t going to tell him anything. He can’t know that she’s fully capable of probably taking his ass out and she’s waiting for a good time to act anyways. Let’s at least help her out by not saying anything. Sure it could bite us in the ass, but at least by that time, she’ll get away.” Lily had fallen asleep on my shoulder as Franklin sat in front of me. 

I don’t think I considered her to be like a daughter until we had the milkshakes. She actually thought of every aspect of getting away and she was smart enough not to drag anyone else down with her. Even though most people would do that, she was actually thinking of the lives those people had rather than just deciding that we were at her disposal. I know in this situation, I would probably kill myself or Trevor in order to get away, but that’s just me. I would use people as much as I could, but here she was; being too freaking nice. I never had anyone think about my situation or my family, and she as thoughtful enough to do that. I had kind of wished that she was a part of my family, maybe she’d be the one to help me smooth things out. 

Things got even worse with all that Madrazo bullshit. Trevor was an absolute fucking nut, stealing the guy’s car and his fucking wife. Still having another hostage at his own home. So fucking stupid.

“Listen Mikey, I’ve never been, this in love before. Ever. I have everyone I want in my life; Lily, the love my life, Mrs. Madrazo who is fucking kind and sweet and even you, porkchop. I actually have everything in one place and I’ve never felt happier. At least Lily seems to be more comfortable with the two of you around. She makes more jokes, she smiles more; and I just… I just can’t get over her smile. She just lights up the whole room. When I carried her the other day, she was so soft, warm and light. She was like a feather.” I thought he was absolutely insane, and then that other fucking mess happened. I wanted to punch his fucking lights out for what he did to her.

“Mikey, Mikey, Mikey. I can’t get her out of my head, I dream about her every fucking time. I tried to make a move and all I did was fuck it up. I couldn’t fucking help myself, I just want to put my hands all over her. I-I-I made a mistake. I-I-I-I just wanted to make her feel good. She was so fucking hot, wet a-a-and tight. Her hands are so fucking small and soft, I can’t fucking stop thinking about the feel. Fuck, I wanted to just lose control. I-I know that I can make her feel good, but I-I-I feel like even though we made this deal, I just can’t fucking do anything right.” Trevor was drunk and crying. Mrs. Madrazo and I were attempting to keep him away from Lily. At least Mrs. Madrazo scolded him for doing it, telling him that he needed to give Lily space and that love shouldn't be rushed. I wouldn’t have described it that way. 

“Mikey, I really need to fuck, but I don’t want to rush or hurt her. I just need something to relax and I like relaxing that way but I don’t think she’s ready. Even though we have this thing, I feel like she’s not 100% and-and I feel terrible.” No matter how much he talked about feeling bad, he just went back to the way that he was, with the added bonus of me keeping him away from her. He was absolutely fucking insane. 

“You are delusional.”

“I am not fucking delusional. You do not understand how the fuck I feel about her. The way she makes my head spin and how I just-I just fucking want things. Is it wrong for me to fucking want something?!”

“This is not something just you can want! She needs to want this too and what I think she really wants is not be a fucking prisoner of some obsessive pychopath.” 

“You don’t fucking understand how I feel!” The fourth argument of that week over the same fucking thing. He was driving me crazy. When we were finally able to pay back Madrazo, this fucker still had other plans.

“This would be the best time to let her go. We all leave at the same time and you can heal in peace. If you keep her there, you’ll only make harder on yourself.” I attempted to persuade Trevor.

“Fuck you Michael. You just want me to be all alone.”

“You have your maid.”

“Yeah, well about that, Ron fucking hates her. They’re always getting into fights, being fucking children. She fucked up his knee for throwing her under the bus about breaking a fuckin’ door.” I laughed.

“Yeah, I watch them glare at each other. Man what the fuck is up with him anyways? He fuckin’ like her or something?”

“He better fucking not. Cause I swear to fucking god, I will torture him like no man has been tortured before.” 

“What the fuck ever.” It just one thing after another with him, being all fucking dramatic.

When Lily finally made her move, I thought Trevor was going to ring my neck. Although everything worked out in the end, I didn’t expect her to be able to take out Weston, Davey and Haines all at the same time. That was pretty amusing. 

The next time we talked about her was after they “consummated” their love. He was going absolutely fucking nuts over it. 

“It was absolutely fucking amazing and perfect. Everything about her was what I thought it. Just fucking perfect. I keep replaying everything that happened in my head, and I just can’t stop thinking about it.” He sounded head over heels. I knew he had fallen for her hard, but damn, this was an all new type of falling. He’d mention her at least once in every call, text, or conversation. They just held hands and he thought her hands were softer than usual? That was a two-page text. She made him breakfast and kissed him on the forehead while handing it to him? That was a three hour phone call. She told him that she loved him and didn’t want him to kill himself due to his major depression and her caring about him; I got to him fucking first, knowing fully well that he had been on a one week binge of suicidal thoughts, drinking, and dangerous behavior. He had called Frank and I several times over the week and just went on and on about how he fucked up. How everything had been perfect because she had been waiting for him at the trailer without moving from a single spot, and how accepting she had been when he got home; only for him to fuck it up by getting angry over something that happened fucking months ago.

 

Here we were now, he was crying his eyes out in a hospital. He had been going crazy over her for the last year and I didn’t believe him one bit, but this. This felt real, it felt genuine. Franklin swiftly joined us,

“What the fuck happened?” He had both of his hands out in question.

“Lily got shot and we don’t know what else is wrong.” 

“Are you fucking kiddin’ me? Who fuckin’ did it?” Franklin looked between the two of us for an answer. Trevor commenced to sob and practically wail.

“Devin Weston.” I replied in his stead.

“Motherfucker.”

“That’s a word for him.” Trevor’s wails began to pierce my ears as I patted his back.

“Hey, we’re here, so just relax. I’m sure everything will work out and as an added bonus; I’m sure we can get that motherfucker.” 

“What makes you say that?” Franklin questioned, Trevor incomprehensible.

“We have Lester.” I pulled my phone, quickly dialing up his number.

“Michael.” He answered in a tired voice. 

“Lester, I need a favor.”

“What kind? I’m a little busy.” I rolled my eyes.

“I need to find Devin Weston, he attacked Lily.” Lester fell silent.

“Where is she now?” 

“Hospital.” Taking a deep breath, Lester spoke,

“Well, let me see what I can do… okay so it says here that he’s in another hospital, placed under FIB protection and custody. Well, it would be really hard for you to get him now, apparently he’s in a comatose state and getting surgery. Can’t do anything for you there.” I nodded. “Well I can’t do anything now or yet, but later when he gets better we can. I’m pretty sure I can fuck him over until then.”

“Thanks Lester, I’ll pass it on.” I hung up, turning to Trevor who was now clinging to Franklin for support. Franklin shook his head and gave me an exasperated look.

“Alright, well Lester said that we can’t do anything to him now, but when he gets better we can most definitely fuck him up.” 

“Sounds good dawg, now can you get this dude off of me?”

“I… I thought you were my friend.” Trevor sobbed, almost incomprehensible.

“We are homies, but not like this.” I patted Trevor’s shoulder,

“Come on, get up. Everything is going to be okay. She’ll be fine.” I attempted to comfort him. We ended up spending the night there. The morning came around and while she was out of surgery, she still had to get a lot of work done. 

As we waited for her condition to be more stable, Trevor stood up, fists clenched. 

“What. The fuck. Are you doing here?” He spat. I turned my head to see Ron. Franklin and I stood up as fast as we could; Franklin moved towards Trevor, pulling him away. I moved towards Ron, putting my hand out. I turned my head, watching Franklin take him to a corner and calm him down. My head snapped back to Ron.

“What in the ever living fuck were you thinking? Throwing a fucking M67 grenade when she’s so close to the fucking kill zone? You couldn’t even see her could you? What in the living fuck were you thinking? You could have fucking killed her you fucking moron!” Ron’s face turned into horror and confusion.

“I-I-I-I di-ddd-didn’t mean t-t-to-too. I-I-”

“Shut the fuck up with your stuttering excuses. How the fuck can you not think about where she is in relation to a fucking bomb? What the fuck is wrong with you? Jesus fuck, what would have happened if she died? Who knows what the fuck is wrong with her, because there’s no way she got away from that unharmed. Jesus fuck, you are fucking stupid.” Ron began to cry.

“I just got s-s-so scared and I ju-just thought-”

“Well you thought fucking wrong. Do you have any idea what you’ve done?” 

“Excuse me, is anyone here in close relation to Ms. Lily Phillips?” All of us turned our heads to the voice to see a doctor, holding a clipboard, looking between each of us.

“I-I-I’m her husband!” Trevor coughed. “I’m her husband.” Trevor made his way over to me and whispered.

“Can you ask Lester-”

“Don’t worry about it, we’ll figure something out. Just go.” I patted his shoulder as he went to the doctor. He went behind two double doors as I turned back to Ron.

“When he gets back out here, we are all going to hear what the fuck is going on and I want you to fully fucking understand what the fuck you’ve done; you fucking idiot.” 

 

_ Lily. We’re out here waiting for you. _


	20. Waking Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lily finally awakens from her coma.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!  
> Thank you to everyone who left comments on the previous chapter! Real motivation right there! Thank you so much for reading!  
> I hope that you enjoy it. Let me know what you all think!  
> ALSO THIS ONE HAS A TRIGGER WARNING. :O   
> Please go to the end notes to see the specifics.

I knew that I was dreaming, as soon as I found myself in Trevor’s trailer, and the futon wasn’t there. The dirty old couch, when I had originally gotten there, was in its place. Looking at the corner, the mark where Trevor had shot the cockroach was there. I traced my hand around it, deep in thought. I moved to the bedroom, noticing that the bed looked rather clean. The pillows weren’t dyed yellow and the sheets were actually white. I sat down on it. I remember cleaning them up, and throwing out his old ones. The fight that led up to it and the amount of trash bags we had to push out the door. I laid down, deep in thought until I felt a large hand on my leg. I sat up, seeing Trevor on the corner of the bed. _This is before the Lost attacked._

“I didn’t think you’d want to use the bed, but it’s good to know that you do. I know that couch ain’t the most comfortable. I also don’t mind sharing.” His hand started to climb up my shin towards my thigh. I didn’t know how to act; this didn’t happen the first time because I refused to use the bed. 

“We can share if you take a shower. That way the sheets and pillows last longer.” Trevor’s hand stopped at my knee, he patted it and nodded.

“Good point, wouldn’t mind getting some company though.” Now it was the real battle. Sure, we are still together and it seems like we’re taking it slow, which is really nice. But at this time, we weren’t this close.

“I’ll call Ron over, I’m sure he’ll enjoy the company too.” I stated plainly. 

“I prefer a woman’s touch.” Trevor retorted, continuing to caress my knee. I hopped off the bed, stopping by him and placing a hand on his chest. 

“Well,” he seemed to wait in anticipation as I hung on the last word. “If you bring a lady over, make sure to not destroy the entire thing.” I patted his chest and walked away. He grabbed my wrist, pulling me around towards him before pushing me against a wall with one hand blocking my way and locking me in. 

“I’m not a fan of being teased.” There was a hint of irritation in his voice, but it was almost completely hidden under everything else. His voice was like velvet, low and husky, trapping me in. It was hard not to just give in. I smiled awkwardly,

“Not teasing, simply stating a fact.” I crossed my arms in front of me. Dream or not, I should probably stand my ground.

“Don’t think I didn’t catch onto that flirting, or,” His other hand found my hip, his thumb sneaking underneath my shirt. “The fact that you said you would share the bed with me. I, personally, wouldn’t mind if you meant both. But… I don’t appreciate being wound up.” His hand now halfway up my side, pulling my shirt up. _Man, he was making this difficult._ I moved in, 

“Well, there’s nothing wrong,” He seemed to fall into a daze as I stopped just before his lips. They were barely touching, and while he had the look of wanting to close the gap, he didn’t. “With a little bit of teasing.” Our lips barely scraped by each other before I pulled painfully away as Ron busted through the front door. Trevor composed himself, walking out somewhat irritated. 

“Ron, you have the worst fucking timing.” I sat down on the couch, relaxing. I looked at Ron who glared at me as Trevor pushed past him. I shrugged, leaning back into the couch. 

 

The dream switched so fast, that I couldn’t even process it. It felt like I was shocked. Opening my eyes again, I found myself in Trevor’s arms, wearing the blue sundress. _This is after the Lazlow thing and I broke down crying._ I felt him ease up and pull away. My heart began to race as he cupped my face the same way as before. 

“That fucker ever comes near you again, I’ll give him hell okay? You’re safe with me.” I remembered the first time he had said that, I shuddered in disgust. Now it’s different and my heart couldn’t seem to act normal. 

“I’m going to protect you okay?” He slowly moved in, gently pressing his lips against mine. It was like electricity. I kissed back in reflex. My hands cupping his face, as one of his hands trailed down. He grabbed my hips, pushing them closer to him, moving his arms to wrap around my waist. _Was this going to happen if I had kissed him back then? If I had teased him earlier, would he have called me terrible names later?_ My focus came back to Trevor, who kissed me harder before pulling back, breathing heavily and stating,

“I… really want this… and I really want you. But…” His hands were now on my hands, head leaning on my head. “I don’t think this is right.” He pulled away completely. He held his head in his hands, shaking his head back and forth. _So he would have controlled himself. He would have actually thought it was wrong. That’s actually surprising._

“Fuck. I am a terrible fuck.” He ran up the stairs to Floyd’s apartment. I felt another shock.

 

The dream switched again. I was wearing the black dress, standing in front of Trevor who was on the ground in tears. _This was when Trevor and I went on our first date; I had just told him that I didn’t want to be in a relationship because he was my kidnapper._ Watching this again, from a different perspective hurt more than it should have _._ For some reason, in these dreams, logical thought completely eludes me. I don’t think straight, and I’m always quick to comfort or run to him. It might be bad, it’s almost as if I’m regretting my own decisions from before. I really shouldn’t, because there was absolutely no logic in this temper tantrum in the first place. I remember a ping of regret, the first time, but dreaming of it again, and I felt worse. I slowly dropped to my knees, and touched his face with my hand. He sniffled, confused as to what was happening. I moved in, hugging him tightly. I meant what I said before; I didn’t want to mess with his head because he’s so troubled and it would make things so much worse. But… this was a dream and the only thing on my mind right now was seeing if he was alright. He had gone off to do some work when Weston came to attack me. 

“Hey.” I broke the silence between us, his sniffles scattered in between. “It terrifies me to tell you this, especially knowing how you feel about me. I don’t know how true it is because I’m so confused. But I think I’m falling in love with you.” Trevor said nothing, in fact everything suddenly felt empty. He disappeared, as well as the alley way, trashcan, the cold air. I felt a shock and the dream changed again.

 

Trevor was hugging me from behind. _Michael and Patricia are here._ I turned around, hugging him back.

“Trevor, I have something to tell you.” _For some reason, I felt like my whole mind was clear. As if everything I wanted to say was laid out right in front of me and all I had to do was say it._ He froze again.

“I love you. You don’t have to say anything. I just wanted to let you know.” Trevor disappeared again, my arms moving towards each other in the air. The dream changed again.

 

Trevor was now holding me by the waist, turning my head I saw a large train running past us. _When I escaped._ I hugged him tightly. These dreams kept changing, and everytime I told him how I felt, it was like the dream was trying to take him away.

“I never know what to say around you. I’m not very good with describing my feelings, but I do know that everytime I see you, I just want to make you mine. I want you to be mine. I want to hold you, do so many things with and to you. I’m hoping that you’re waiting for me at home, but I can’t help but wish right now you were with me. I don’t think I’ll ever be ready to let you go. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you. You’re so smart and honest. I’ve never met anyone like you. I never realized how much I wanted to be with a person until-” 

 

The dream shattered. I could feel my heart grow heavy as I just waited for the dream to come back. Another one or anything with him. My eyes felt heavy as they opened, a bright light above me, practically blinding me. I felt something on my face and a bunch of stuff in and on my arms. I felt something in my hand. I gently closed around it, not sure what it was. My eyes were barely open when I heard a voice call for something. My eyes darted around, trying to find something or someone. I heard more muffled voices, a dark blob appeared above me, blocking the light. I couldn’t hear what any of the multiplying voices were saying. A single loud booming voice stuck out suddenly,

“Give her, her fucking glasses, you idiot.” 

 

_Trevor._

 

“Due to stress, your stomach was in critical condition and your body started to shut down. You had some vital organs that were injured, and your leg is still messed up from the cactus pines going into it. We did perform surgery on pretty much everything, but other than that, everything is looking good and you are on your way to a speedy recovery. You’ll be staying here until you’re fully healed up.” The doctor stated. She was giving me the evil eye for being there earlier and then coming in with a full blown emergency.

“You’re acting as if this is my fault.” I stated plainly.

“Sandy Shores is full of people who create all kinds of messes and each and everyone says it’s not their fault. That’s a little hard to believe.” She said with a smirk on her face. I rolled my eyes and turned to my left. Trevor sat, holding my hand tightly. He looked like garbage, probably worse than me. 

“How long was I out?” I asked.

“About a month.” The doctor stated while writing something down. I raised a brow at Trevor who nodded sadly. I squeezed his hand.

“Is… is Ron okay?” I watched Trevor’s face change into something close to disdain and disgust. 

“He’s perfectly fine.” I sighed, and relaxed back into my pillow.

“Thank goodness.” I kept my hold on Trevor’s hand. “How are you?” The doctor walked out of the room, leaving just the two of us.

“Not… the best.” I eyed him for a little bit. His hair was in all different directions, his face had a five o’clock shadow, eyes were puffy and red, and his clothes looked worse for wear. He was a complete mess.

“I have something to tell you.” I could feel the butterflies in my stomach. He looked at me suspiciously.

“When you left to figure out whether or not your suspicions were true about Michael.” Trevor raised a brow, he had a confused look on his face. “That’s when I realized how much I wanted to be with a person.” I sighed in relief, closing my eyes.  

“What do you…mean?” 

“While I was out, I had lots of dreams. All of them were about you, and each time I tried to tell you how I felt or I did, you would just disappear. I’m not sure what that means, if I tell you how I feel if you’ll completely walk out of my life or… if I need to absolutely tell you to make everything better.” Trevor’s eyes darted around, trying to figure out what I was talking about.

“What… are you talking about? How do you feel about me?” His knee started to bounce in anxiety. 

“I thought about what you said to me. When you first confessed to me and then on out. I’ve been thinking about it for a while and I was wondering how I did feel and if there was any way that I could figure out how I felt and convey to you proper how I felt.” I laughed. “I thought back to when you first said that you had a difficult time describing your feelings. We’re actually the same in that aspect, but maybe I just get these little bursts of courage to actually do it.” He squeezed my hand tightly.

“Please just tell me how you feel.” We stared at each other. His eyes looked like they hurt.

“I love you. Far more than what any other woman could love man.” I felt confident in saying it out loud. The nervousness that had been mounting seemed to completely fall apart as I told him. He remained silent. It almost felt like I would be okay if he walked out; it would hurt like a bitch, but I feel that I would be ready. After all of those dreams of him disappearing on me, it almost felt like I was numb to it. 

“And Ron?” His voice came out shakey, eyes becoming glassy as he took hiccuping breaths to calm himself down.

“He’s a friend. You’re the one that I love; that I want to be with.” I watched his face change to relief, tears streaking the sides of his face, and breathing heavily as if he had been holding his breath for the entire time I was out. I inhaled deeply, filling my lungs with much needed air before letting it all out in a relaxing exhale. Trevor kissed my hand before standing up,

“I-I’ll be right back.” I smiled.

“Okay.” He walked away swiftly. It almost felt like those dreams; that anxiety over the uncertainty as to whether or not he would come back. For some reason, neither option bothered me or made me particularly happy. 

The door slowly creaked open, my eyes slowly made their way over to focus on who was coming in. Ron stood, disheveled, a lesser level of fucked-up compared to Trevor, but not completely. 

“You’re awake.” His voice sounded surprised.

“So are you.”

“I-I’ve been awake.” Nervousness shined through his tone.

“You didn’t get hurt did you? From the grenade or anything like that?” He shook his head.

“N-n-no. Um… I came out fine.” He fiddled with his hands, unsure what to do with them or put them.

“What...um… what did the doctor tell you?” He asked.

“Said my stress levels caused my body to shut down, I got shot somewhere vital and I had fucking cactus pines shoved into my leg. Fun stuff. I’m surprised that I didn’t lose anything.” Ron turned away.

“Well technically, you did lose something.” He sounded like he was ashamed. 

“Huh?” I asked confused. 

“What the fuck are you saying?” Trevor came through the door, shoulder checking Ron, shoving him into a wall. 

“Mr. Jakowski.” The doctor’s voice rang out. “I believe you were told that you may stay outside of the door but you are forbidden from entering the room. Only close relatives and immediate family members may come in. I do believe Mr. and Mrs. Philips do not appreciate other visitors currently. I will have to ask you to leave, or I will get security.” Ron frowned as Trevor sat next to me. I frowned deeply and looked at Trevor. He patted my hand and then said,

“Ron, please leave.” I sadly waved as Ron walked out of the door, looking dejected. I turned back to Trevor.

“I’ve got questions.”

“And I have answers, but one thing at a time.” He pointed to the doctor who I slowly turned too. 

“Okay, so I had to go and obtain more paperwork. The person who was in charge of Otolaryngology is not into day.” _Otolary- what?_ “So I’ll be explaining your surgery and what’s happened.” _EXCUSE ME._ “Due to the vibrations and your proximity to a grenade, your ear drums were greatly damaged. Your husband paid for a special surgery so that you could have implants so that you can hear normally. We did transfer you to a different hospital, and after a week or so we moved you back here. We’ll be giving you special instructions in taking care of your ears, the risks and side effects.” I had almost completely zoned out in shock. 

“Mrs. Philips?” I twitched. “I understand that you’re overwhelmed. Let’s take this nice and slow so that you can understand everything that’s happened.” I nodded slowly, Trevor holding my hand. She took a deep breath and continued,

“With your leg, your muscle tissues were damaged from the cactus spines. You did have to receive stitches, but we were lucky to remove the spines before you leg could be in danger of infection. We’ve been very careful to clean and watch the progress of your leg injury, but it seems minor paralysis has set in.” I attempted to move my toes. They seemed to have a slow reaction, but my leg wouldn’t even twitched. “Now with your bullet wound.” _Oh shit._ “You were shot in the side and once again, we were lucky that there was an exit wound and your body was able to start the healing process. It did cause serious trauma to your left kidney. We were able to remove it, so I would recommend to lower your alcohol consumption.” _So I’m down a kidney._ “Let’s see…” _Shit, there’s more?_ “You had a minor concussion. You were in a medically induced coma so as to help the healing. We didn’t want you moving too much; we wanted your brain to heal. We also wanted to ensure that there were no errors from the surgery including healing scars. As of right now, do you have any questions?” I shook my head. I could barely process the fact that I now had implants. Thinking back to Ron calling out to me, made me realize that he wasn’t whispering and that scared me. 

“With all the information you’ve received right now, I’ll give you some time to speak with your husband. I’ll be back in a few.” She walked out again. I looked down into my lap.

“Lily, I know that this a lot of information…” I squeezed his hand. “If you have any questions, I can answer them, the doctor can. We’re willing to answer any questions that you have.” I nodded. 

“Ummm…” I started, clearing my throat. “How is it, that you’re my husband?” I looked at him, give me an awkward look.

“I blurted it out, because they wouldn’t let me in at first. I knew that they only let specific people in. I didn’t think boyfriend was on the list, so I had Lester throw together some random legal papers.” I nodded.

“Where’s Weston?”

“In FIB custody. Since Haines isn’t here to protect his friend, the higher-ups, who are apparently looking out for you, moved Weston to a different hospital. Lester says that he might be going to jail for a short time or might not even hit the bars because he has so much money. Merryweather actually might bail him out. Without Molly immediately at his back, everything has gotten way more difficult for him.” _That fucker. I was hoping he would rot._

“Where were you?” It was a question I was dreading to ask, but I wanted to know so terribly. His facial features changed, he looked incredibly ashamed.

“I was out helping a business partner who fucked up more than I would have liked. I may have taken a quick break after the whole thing, but Ron immediately called me and I rushed over. When I got there, you had just gotten shot. Ron just-” He put his hand through his hair, taking a clump tightly in his fist. I could tell he was trying not to work himself up, moving my other hand to his, gently pulling his hand out of his hair. He removed his hand from mine, covering his face.

“I’m just so happy and relieved that you’re alive. Your heart stopped so many times and I just couldn’t fucking take everything that was happening. I-I-I had Michael come and watch you for a bit with Franklin and-and I’m sorry I wasn’t there sooner. This wouldn’t have happened if I was just fucking there.” I glanced over Trevor’s body, coming to the immediate conclusion that he was way worse than I thought he was. He bore long scratches on both of his arms, he had some cuts all over the place, and just looked terrible. I cautiously reached my hand out, touching his arm, but the immediately contact made him jump, hiding both of his arms below what I couldn’t see, shame and guilt written all over his face. I took my hand back.

“Why are Michael and Franklin allowed in but not Ron?” 

“Oh um, we had Lester draw up more paperwork. Michael adopted the both of you at a young age, so now you’re all immediate family. Ron…” He fell silent.

“Should I just ask Ron?’

“No!” Trevor immediately stood up. “I’m not letting that fucker anywhere near you. He almost fucking killed you and it’s a miracle that the only problem from that god damn fucking grenade he threw was that you lost your hearing. You were in the fucking kill radius for that thing. He didn’t think how close you could possibly be to that. We’re lucky that fucking Weston didn’t fucking die. Although, he’s probably worse off than you are. You shouldn’t even think of that fucker! He almost got you fucking killed.” Trevor sat back down.

“I-I-I-I’m sorry. I-I can’t seem to control myself.” I shifted closer to him, caressing his face.

“Hey, relax. I’m all good now. I just want to know what’s going on.” He laid his head on my leg, taking in deep breaths. “You’re doing good, just keep breathing.” I looked towards the door. “Hey, look at me.” He slowly picked up his head. 

“Everything’s going to be okay. I’m not mad, I just want to be filled in on everything, okay? This is a lot of information to take in for me.” I pressed my forehead up to his. 

“Don’t think too hard on it for now okay? We can deal with the other crap when we get home.” I rubbed his cheek with thumb as he nodded.

“O-okay.” It came out weak and strained. I moved away.

“But you should go clean yourself up. You look like a mess.” I laughed.

“Y-yeah. I haven’t been too good to myself.”

“I can tell, but one thing at a time. We’ll piece it back together.” I smiled. He gave me a weak smile back as Michael and Franklin walked in. In one of Michael’s hands was a small bouquet of flowers.

“We heard you were awake kid, so we came racing over. Room limit is three, though.” He came over, hugging me tightly, minding the wires; handing me the flowers as he pulled away. I took them happily as Franklin switched with Michael, his turn to hug me. 

“So I heard, we’re family now?” I joked.

“Yep, it was the only way we were going to see you. Now you’re officially stuck with us.” Michael stated. I laughed.

“Yeah, I got a new brother, family and magically a husband in the month that I was comatose. Didn’t even have to be able to file paperwork. What a miracle.” Michael laughed. Trevor continued to hold my hand tightly. 

“Yeah, but what a fuckin’ mess.” Franklin said exasperated. “Part of the trailer is gone, and there are a lot of other fuckin’ problems we had to clean up before the cops could do a full blown investigation.” He sat down in a chair that was at the end of the bed. 

“Yep, and the whole place is blocked off, so you guys will have to move somewhere else.” Michael plainly stated.

“Hopefully it’s just another fucking trailer.” Trevor murmured.

“You should think about what Lily wants. You may want the trailer, but what’s really best for Lily right now? Her leg is partially paralyzed, she has implants now and has to be careful where she is. That’s a life long commitment like the doctor said, and she has to take care of it. She can’t be around an area with guns or anything like that. Sandy Shores won’t work.” Michael was harsh but at least realistic. I reached up to touch my ears, behind one of them, was a large plastic piece with a weird cord; following it with my hand, I ended up touching something on my head. I started to panic. _This is permanent._ I started to breathe heavily.

“Lily?” Trevor tried to get my attention.

“Hey, hey kid. It’s okay.” Michael attempted to calm me down as my breathing picked up and tears began to form. 

“Lil’? Hey it cool. This shit is a huge fuckin’ mess, but it’s okay. Take a deep breath.” Another voice entered the room. I could feel tears running down my cheeks. 

“What’s going on?” _The doctor._

“I think she’s having a panic attack.” Michael explained. The doctor pushed her way through, placing her hand on my chest.

“Mrs. Philips, please take a deep breath. These implants are nothing to be scared or worried about. Everyone, please clear the room.” I watched them walk out, almost scared that they did as the doctor attempted to calm me down. I heard the doctor make a code call before my vision began to blur and I fell back down into unconsciousness. 

* * *

Upon waking back up, I realized I was alone and I wasn’t in the hospital. I glanced around, I was still in the hospital and all of the machines were still there, but I was in a different room. I attempted to sit up, only to find myself unable to. A door, on the far right side, opened. I held my breath as a tall man walked in, holding a clipboard.

“Ms. Phillips? My name is Dr. Forester. I work for Devin Weston.” My heart sank as he continued to speak. “We’re going to conduct a few exams, and hopefully get you back and running up to full speed.”

“Where am I?” Forester ignored me, reading through the clipboard as he walked towards me. 

“Now, these exams can be perceived as being intrusive, but trust me, these are very important to identify any underlying issues that may have not been found. Sandy Shores Hospital is at the bottom of the barrel, so high chance, they missed something. Now, I’ll be giving you an anesthesia so that we can make you a little more comfortable.” I struggled in my spot.

“Now, the first exam…” I fell back into a stressful sleep.

“Lily? Lily?” My eyes slowly opened to the voice. Weston stood above me. He had his arm in a fling, bandages on his arm, neck and part of his face, and looks beyond tired. I couldn’t open my eyes full but they were darting around the room looking for a way to get away from him.

“Listen to me.” I looked at him, my breathing was uneven.

“What am I doing here?” I murmured.

“You’re here because I want you to be here. Because of your friends, I’m going to need a whole lot of cosmetic surgery. Not only that,” His hand reached out and touched my face. I attempted to move away, but no strength came to me. “But you and your friends still owe me. I’ll give you one more chance to become part of my staff, or I’ll torture you until you die from whatever the fuck I want. If you had just listened to me, this wouldn’t have happened.” When I didn’t reply immediately, he continued,

“I’ll give you some time to think about it, but until then…” He moved unevenly to the edge of the bed. He placed one hand on my knee.

“I think I’ll have my own fun. I can’t let this moment go to waste.” He grabbed the blanket that was on me, pulling it off in a single motion. At least in Sandy Shores, they had the decency to change me into normal clothes. My left leg had bandages from the knee down, but it wouldn’t move no matter how much I tried. 

“That doctor, what’s his face, said that your body is actually a rarity in that the tightness of a particular area,” His hand trailed up to my thigh, making its way up. “Is so tight, that there’s no way that it could be loose from any previous sexual encounters. Which is a nice way of saying that your pussy is optimal for my personal use.” I cringed, as he pulled down my shorts. I attempted to move at all, but whatever drug I was given was still in my system. I closed my eyes, and turned my head away from him. Whatever was going to happen, I didn’t want to see. 

“Ah, I almost forgot.” I heard him move away from me. He grabbed my face, forced my mouth to open and shoved something inside. It felt like a capsule of some sort. I shoved it under my tongue as he commanded in an irritated tone,

“Swallow it and show me that you did.” I couldn’t exactly swallow, my mouth was so dry it burned. 

“If you don’t swallow it, I’m going to make you.” He wrapped one hand around my neck and the other covered my mouth and nose. I pretended to swallow, but he immediately squeezed my neck.

“I know you’re trying something, don’t fuck with me. I’ll know exactly when it goes down your throat. It hasn’t yet, so why don’t you try again?” I swallowed, the pill still under my tongue. He squeezed tighter.

“Nice try.” He forced my mouth open again, searching for the pill, before grabbing a hold of it, scratching the underside of my tongue and practically dropping it into my throat. I gagged loudly as he shut my mouth again. I swallowed, the pill making its way down. The taste of his hands was still prevalent, forcing me to gag again. He moved away from my face as I started to cough. 

“That little thing should start working very soon.” He used one hand to start undoing his belt. 

“If that little fucker hadn’t pulled that stunt with the grenade, I wouldn’t be struggling so hard with something so simple.” He threw his belt to the side, before pulling down his pants completely. Not wanting to watch or see anything, I turned my head again. I tried to kick my legs as I felt his weight on top of them, but neither wanted to move. I heard shuffling again as I attempted to squirm my body in any way possible; worm my way out if I had to. All of this seemed fruitless as he grabbed one of my legs.

“Please, stop.” I begged. 

“I don’t think so. Like I said, this is an opportunity, I’m not just going to toss aside. I went through hell to actually get you here and you don’t think I’m going to reap my rewards?” He teased my entrance, I tried to do anything; yet nothing happened. My vision began to blur and as I attempted to talk again, my speech came out incomprehensible.

“Oh look, it’s starting to take effect. Good, good. Then this won’t be bad for you either.” I felt pain and pressure as he entered me. His groans began to fill the room as I bit down on my lip. Everything hurt; breathing, swallowing, closing my eyes, opening my eyes and seeing him move inside me, speaking. My body felt like it was on fire and all I could do was lay there motionless while Weston did whatever he wanted. He ripped my tank top open, grabbing and squeezing my breasts roughly. 

“Fuck, no wonder Philips is so attatched. You’re body is fucking perfect. The shape, the feeling. It’s a shame he got to you first, but no matter. I can certainly make you feel better.” He pulled out, grabbing my waist and flipping me over. I couldn’t correct my limbs from the uncomfortable positions they were in. He reentered, going in harder and faster. I tried to bite down on the sheet/mattress but to no avail. 

“Fuck, you… will not believe… how fucking hard it is… not just to cum inside your right now.” His voice made me want to throw up as he continued to force himself on me. This reminded me of that terrible nightmare with Trevor, him forcing himself on me. At least then, Ron saved me. This was real, and no one could save me. Who knows what was happening with everyone else, but I did know that I was alone in the room with the worst possible person who was just using my body for his own enjoyment. I felt him lift my hips.

“Let’s get a better angle, shall we?” His groans grew louder as he pounded into me. My stomach churned as he spoke again,

“I want you to cum on my dick. Fuck. Fuck I don’t want to stop.” Tears streamed down my face, my heart was pounding in my chest and my legs still not moving. As if someone had responded to my cries of help, the weight and pressure disappeared. I couldn’t move, but I could hear Weston,

“What the fu-“ I heard him gag, scream practically but being muffled. The screaming continued, echoes bouncing off the walls as someone covered me.

“Hey kid.” I could barely speak as Michael wrapped and picked me up. I could hear Weston begging whoever to stop, his screams now loud and clear. 

“You didn’t stop for Lily, I don’t think I’ll stop for you. You don’t think I’m going to reap my rewards?” Trevor’s voice hit my ears, sending chills down my spine. He hadn’t sounded that menacing since he choked me. I heard some crack almost like a bone, Weston began to kick the floor. I winced at the sound of another cracking sound.

“We don’t want you to try anything now do we? If I had one of those very nice pills, well I would shove it right down your fucking throat, but I don’t. So I think I’ll just make you eat something else. And don’t fucking bite, or I’ll take out your goddamn teeth.”

“Hey, close your eyes Lily. I don’t want you to see Trevor at his worst.” I complied, only hearing Weston’s screams that echoed in my ears.

“Oh, I’m going to make you wish you’d never been born you fuck.” Trevor’s voice disappeared as Michael kicked a door shut.

“Okay, you can open your eyes.” He set me down gently on some steps. Weston’s screams continued to bounce off the walls. Continuous begging and every so often it would be muffled. 

“Fuck, you found Lily. Thank fuck.” Franklin’s relieved voice rang behind. I attempted to turn my head but I was still unable to move. Weston let out a bloodcurdling scream that seemed endless. Michael winced at the sounds. His eyes clearly showing their discomfort. The screaming came to a halt. Silence fell between the three of us as the door slowly creaked open and a furious Trevor walked out. He was covered in blood and who else knew what, his eyes were bugged out and crazed and he looked like he was about to snap again. 

“Well he probably won’t be fucking any time soon. Don’t worry, I didn’t kill him, but I also didn’t help him either. When he gets into the hospital, he’s probably going to need a very special surgery for his lack of a penis and his new asshole problem. I didn’t think it could stretch that wide but hey, you learn something new every fucking day.” That sounded like the Trevor I met. I turned my head to side, coughing. I tried to stand up, only for my legs to give and I fell back down on the stairs.

“I’ll carry you up gurl.” Franklin approached me before Trevor spat,

“Don’t… don’t fucking touch her. Okay?” Franklin stopped with his arms out, Trevor was breathing deeply, a possible attempt to calm down. Trevor picked me up and walked up the stairs, the sun hitting my eyes. 

“Michael, drive me back to the hospital. Franklin, can you meet us there?” Trevor turned his head towards them as he spoke, purposely lowering his voice. Michael opened the door, allowing Trevor to lay me down in the backseat. He joined me on the other side, holding me tightly. As Michael began to drive, Trevor started to stroke my hair, straightening it up. My body relaxed into him as he held the covers on me, keeping his hands in safe places. As we entered the ER, I could feel the exhaustion from all of the emotional stress; my body still felt heavy as they placed me on to a gurney. Trevor’s hand left mine as they pushed me into another room, calling out codes and began pumping fluids into me. I fell back into a restless sleep, terrified I would wake up and not be here. 

 

_I just want this day to end._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has torture, rape and kidnapping- please do not read if these are an issue.


	21. Clingy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lily attempts to heal after her extremely traumatic experience.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> Wanted to go over a couple things: the next chapter might be out a little late. Life hit me pretty hard this week and I haven't been able to work on it. So I'm pretty much three pages in and I need to work on that. The next chapter is also difficult to write as I can't seem to grasp what I actually want for the chapter. I have an idea, but since it doesn't follow anywhere near the outline, it might be a little slow. I recently got really back into GTA V, so my motivation for this story is way up! And because of the comments, it has also been helping me get through a very rough chapter.
> 
> After a comment on Part 1 (Escape)- I will start putting Trigger Warning specifics at the bottom- in the end notes. Especially with Chapter 20 (I did go back and edit chapters), I want to make sure that people are okay. It was a HEAVY chapter so I'm going to start doing it with everything after this point. 
> 
> There is a minor trigger warning; please click on the end notes link for specifics.
> 
> This chapter was a bit difficult to write with everything going on. There is sexual content in this chapter.
> 
> Thank you for the comments; thank you for continuing to read! And let me know what you think of this chapter!

I was in the hospital for two months after the mess with Weston. They ended up getting me security after I left the hospital in the middle of the night during the first month. A lot was on my mind; I was exhausted from being in the hospital constantly and even though there were people around me, it felt unbearably lonely and scary. The people who were there during the day, would have to leave in the evening. Fear and anxiety would rush through me as they were saying their good-byes and it became difficult to hide that. My discomfort only grew as the doctor continuously stated that they had to uphold hospital policy. I took a short walk all the way back to the trailer to relax. My leg was still having some problems, but at least now I could walk. The damage was worse than I thought when I got there. At least a third of the trailer was gone, and the garage, non-existent. It began raining when I walked into the remains of the garage; my clothes were soaked, and all of my old ones were probably gone forever from the explosion.

“L-Lily?” I turned around to see Ron, nervously standing on the edge of the garage line.

“Hey Ron.”

“Did you get discharged?” He had his hands clasped together nervously; I turned away from him.

“No… no I didn’t.” I answered quietly.

“O-oh. Well, you should probably head back to the hospital then. Trevor is probably looking for you. It’s also probably not healthy for you to be out in the rain in your condition. I-I don’t think you’re-”

“Ron, I’m out here because I want to be. I wanted to to see the damage now, and I wanted to be somewhere, where I’m far more comfortable. I can’t stand being left alone at the hospital. I know Trevor has been fighting very hard to at least have someone in my hospital room at night, but the doctors won’t listen to anything but hospital policy. I just wanted to be somewhere, where it doesn’t feel as scary.” Ron didn’t answer, the rain filling in the silence. I heard him walk away, as I walked further into the garage. Blood stains were still there; it seemed like there was an attempt to clean it up, though it wasn’t successful. The gross piece of furniture that I had hid behind was the broken couch; I was right that there were boxes, but now both were far more disgusting than before. I heard footsteps approach me, I froze in fear.

“He-heyy.” Ron called out behind me. My body relaxed as I turned around. He held out a small blanket and an umbrella. “If you get pneumonia or hypothermia, then you’ll just extend your hospital stay.” I took the blanket, wrapping it around my shoulders as I replied, 

“Thanks.” 

“And you didn’t have any footwear on, so I brought you, your sandals. If you’re going to stay out here, then you should at least be careful of the glass. Trevor likes to throw things about so you’ll never know when you’ll step on a shard.” He gently placed the pair down, allowing me to slide my feet in as I kept the blanket wrapped around me. I focused on my feet; they were absolutely filthy now from walking out. I’m surprised that I didn’t hurt myself on the way over here, although who knows if I did actually step on something and just didn’t feel it. 

“Ha-have you go-gone inside the trailer?” Ron’s question brought me back to reality.

“No. I’ve just seen the garage. I mean, I can see inside the trailer, and it doesn’t look great from here.” We both walked out to view it from the outside. 

“Yeah, on the other side of that counter is a different kind of mess. Glass and all kinds of crap scattered all over the floor. Trevor at first wanted to try and clean it, but they deemed the trailer unsalvageable, so there’s no point since he can’t live in it anymore. Since you two can’t live in it anymore.” Ron corrected himself near the end as we made our way to the front. 

“It also probably doesn’t help that Trevor also destroyed stuff when you were in a coma.” We walked inside; glass shards littered the floor of the trailer, the futon was missing, and the remaining cabinets had been thrown about and crushed. It was as if a tornado came through, destroying everything in its path. 

“Wow, he certainly did a number on it.” I stated sourly.

“Yeah, he kind of lost it, coming back here.” I nodded at Ron’s reply. They had been right, no one could live here. It was an absolute disaster. 

“L-Lily.” I turned to Ron. He looked at the ground, a strange look on his face. It had a mixture of distress and anger.

“I-I-I-” He took a deep breath. “I’m sorry about the grenade. If I had been more careful, you wouldn’t have lost most of your hearing and-and you probably would have been okay in the garage be-because Trevor was just around the corner. I just panicked and I thought that the least I could do was try to save you.” His hands were clenched, his voice cracking. “But I’m a failure. Everything Trevor says is true, I can’t do anything right. I’m just a worthless pile of shit. You ended up getting shot, because you were protecting me when I should have been protecting you. And I couldn’t even do the first part right. I hate myself for getting you hurt like that.” Ron was trying hard to keep it together. I looked down at his feet, even his legs were shaking in anxiety. I took a step towards him, bringing him into a hug.

“It’s okay. I don’t blame you at all, really. I don’t. If you hadn’t done thrown the grenade, I’m pretty sure they would have shot up the entire place, either killing me or forcing me to go with them there. Sure it wasn’t the smartest thing to do, but you did your best. I’m not dead; and it was scary at first to have an implant but I don’t feel frightened about it anymore. I’m more terrified of being alone right now.” I felt him hesitate to hug me back. 

“Thank you for helping me out. And also, I don’t mind protecting you. I know that you sometimes can’t defend yourself; I’ll blame Trevor for that. If I hadn’t pulled you back or reacted the way that I did; I’d be beating myself up right now. So much so, that we might even be in switched positions right now. I’d be hating myself and might not even forgive myself. I heard the gun click, and just reacted. There wasn’t even hesitation to protect you. I wanted to, because like I said before; I do care about you Ron. I think you’re worth more than what you and Trevor say you are. It is in a different way than Trevor, but I do love and care for you; and this whole mess doesn’t make me feel any less so. You are important to me and you’ve protected me before; there’s nothing wrong with protecting each other. Even if we both suck at it.” I laughed at the last bit. Ron hugged me tighter, trembling like a leaf and sniffling every so often. This clearly had been weighing on him, especially with how everyone was treating him. As we heard a vehicle pull up, we stepped away from each other; Ron turning his back to the door to hide his face from whoever.

“Lily! Lily!” Trevor’s voice rang through my ears.

“I’m in here, Trevor!” I shouted back. Footsteps racing towards the door, a hand pushing it open to reveal a disheveled Trevor.

“What are you doing out here? Why did you leave the hospital?” He brought me into a hug, I hugged him back.

“Why the fuck didn’t you bring her back to the fucking hospital? She could get sick out here, or even worse, she could get taken again, you useless idiot.” 

“Trevor.” I pulled away, cupping Trevor’s face and having him focus on me. “Ron brought me a blanket and some sandals. He did try to make me go back, but I wanted to stay here because I feel comfortable here. Ron even gave me an umbrella to make sure I didn’t get sick. So, there’s no need to call him useless. Okay?” Trevor’s face changed to shame and nodded sadly. I caressed his face, watching his features relax. He took my hands and quietly said,

“I think we should get you back to the hospital though. Everyone is kind of freaking out.”

“I left a note.” I said in-a-matter-of-fact tone.

“Yes, you did. A note that says;  **going for a walk. BRB** . It was not very helpful.” Trevor stated plainly.

“I left a note.” My voice raised in pitch as if to defend my original statement.

“It doesn’t matter, you left without anybody really knowing where you were going. You can’t discharge yourself from a hospital.”

“I said that I’d be right back! Also, you discharge yourself.”

“I don’t count. Also, don’t say it like that.” As we were about to head out the door, I turned back to Ron.

“Thanks again Ron. I’ll see you later.” I smiled and waved at him as he nervously waved back. Trevor pulled me to a vehicle I didn’t recognize as his.

“You don’t need to thank that fucker.”

“Yes I do. He saved my life.” 

“He also hurt you.”

“You’ve saved my life and hurt me.” Trevor stopped short of opening the door. “And I still love you. I still thank you. I know you try your hardest and I know he tried his hardest. It’s okay for someone to get scared; and sometimes we make bad decisions because of it. But in the end, I didn’t die and I’m not mad at him. I’m glad he saved me and I saved him. There’s nothing wrong with that.” Trevor opened the passenger door of the vehicle, gently pushing me in. He paused for a short moment on the driver’s side before opening it up and hopping in. 

When we got back to the hospital, I was scolded by doctors, nurses, Michael, Franklin, and pretty much everyone down the list. Getting bitched out by some janitor was the pinnacle of my day. Trevor stood quietly, holding my hand tightly. They conducted more tests to ensure I was okay, but I kept Trevor close to me. They wanted him to leave, but I refused to comply. I was tired of being alone during these exams. 

After all was said and done, Trevor asked,

“A-are you mad at me for what I said?” 

“No. I just ask that you treat Ron a little nicer. I know you and everyone else is upset with him, and you’ve had to go through an emotional roller coaster so it won’t be that easy. But know that he went through all of that by himself. He didn’t have the support system you did, he probably was very scared, just like you were.” I touched his face, caressing his cheek with my thumb. Placing his hand on top of mine, he looked at me with the same shameful look as he had in the trailer. 

“And you guys aren’t the only ones who are scared. I hate being by myself in here, every time you guys leave, my mind just races and I can’t sleep. I’m terrified someone will take me. I just want someone to be here.” I finished. He removed my hand, caressing it with both of his. 

“Are you mad at me?” I questioned.

“No. I… I was just scared. I think… you’re too nice sometimes.”  _ Everyone’s been saying that every time I bring up Ron. Michael said the same thing last year.  _

 

At the end of the second month, they discharged me. The physical therapy had been helping, so at least my leg doesn’t just stop working. I kept Trevor close to me that whole month, every so often Michael or Franklin would take turns to watch me when Trevor had to do stuff, but other than that I refused to be left alone. Even the police officer in my room, was stuck with me. 

“Hey kid, I think you should pull back a little on how clingy you are to Trevor.” I turned my head to Michael.

“What do you mean?” He sighed and continued,

“I think he’s enjoying it a little too much.” I raised a brow as he put up his hand to stop me from talking,

“Hear me out. I understand you’re having problems. Makes sense, they’ve also diagnosed you with PTSD so there’s that. But I think your dependency on Trevor is… it’s going to his head to the point where I don’t think… fuck… I think you’re getting too dependent on him. This whole freaking month he’s just been going on and on about how happy he is. I’m glad that you’re doing great and he is too. He’s actually stoked that you’ll be getting out of the hospital soon, but I’m worried that you’ll cripple yourself with how clingy you are to him right now. I don’t think he’s fully thinking about the reasons as to why you’re clingy. I think he’s only seeing it in one dimension; you need him and he wants you to need him. Hopefully things will get better later, but I’m telling you now that you can understand how we’re seeing everything.” I nodded. I hadn’t actually thought about it; I’d been so focused on not being alone, I hadn’t thought about how it might look to others. I didn’t say anything, everything would have felt too forced. 

 

Trevor put me in the bodhi, holding my hand all the way through the drive. I wasn’t even sure where we were headed.

“Trevor, where are we going?” He squeezed my hand,

“Well the trailer has been condemned. Pretty much a shit show there, so we had to get a new place. I wasn’t sure what to get or really what to do because I haven’t thought of any legal and permanent housing for years.”  _ Keyword there “legal.”  _ “So I’ve gotten another trailer. I just feel more comfortable in those.” I nodded.  _ Makes sense. Why change your comfort zone if you don’t have to. _ “I thought about what Michael and the others said. So the trailer is somewhere else, not too far or too close to Sandy Shores either.” We pulled up to a trailer in some woods.

“Where… are we?”

“Paleto bay, the only other place where I could put the trailer, and not get in trouble. At least it’s quiet here.” He walked me up to it. “A friend of mine has a hunting RV nearby, but he’s the only one who comes out here shooting, which are very specific days so we can prepare for them.” He grinned at me, pulling me inside. It was comfortably small, similar to the last one except the movement of the counter. Now it was perpendicular to the front door. Everything seemed decently clean, but I’d have to assume that, that wasn’t Trevor’s doing. Everything else seemed to be in the same place, or at least tried to be. The futon wasn’t there, but at least Trevor got a new table and chairs. I walked into the bedroom; the bed seemed neat, with a plaid pattern and several pillows. I climbed on top, checking the comfort levels; grabbing a pillow and squeezing it a couple times before setting it back down. 

“What do you think?” Trevor had an anticipating smile on his face as I returned it and said,

“You have a lovely home.”

“We have a lovely home.” He sat down next to me. “I’d like for you to be here too. It’s quiet, and at least here, you can heal. Michael talked to me about what I need to do for you. With everything that’s happened and that’s going to happen, this will be perfect.” He held both of my hands in his. 

“We won’t be bothered here, so we can take a healthy pace to getting you better.” I smiled nervously,

“I’m worried about you though. I feel like you should know that every day isn’t going to be sunshine and roses. There will be days where you’ll feel frustrated with me or can’t take me at my condition. I want you to know that I love you no matter what and to please continue loving me now, when I’m trying and when you’re frustrated. Please have patience when I can’t immediately jump into the swing of things. I… want to take things at my own pace; I don’t want to be rushed or pulled back because of someone else’s wants and needs. I need to think about myself.” Trevor nodded hesitantly.

“Okay. Then I’ll apologize ahead of time if I do get frustrated and can’t seem to control myself. I really do want to help, but if I start to get in the way, just let me know.” 

“Wow.” I was taken aback. “That’s really mature, I appreciate that a lot.” He kissed me on the forehead.

“Of course. Any… I want to do this for you.” He leaned in, our lips brushing up against each other.

“I also want to do other things, but I’ll wait for when you’re ready.” His voice was enveloping me like a blanket as he closed the distance between us. His lips were dry and chapped, he hadn’t been taken good care of himself in the three months I’ve been stuck in the hospital. He pulled away as his phone went off.

“Are you fucking kidding me? We just fuckin’ got here.” He answered the phone angrily, “What? I don’t give a shit, that sounds like you’re problem. Fuckin’ fine. I’ll see you soon. What? Fuck. Fine!” He hung up and turned to me, features quickly softening. He leaned in and kissed me.

“I have to go, Michael and Frank have shit for me to do.” I immediately grabbed his hand.

“Yo-you’re leaving?” Panic rushed through me. I pulled him into a hug. “I just got out, I don’t want to be alone.” My body began to tremble, my breathing becoming faster as Trevor rubbed my back.

“It’s okay. Relax. I’ll get someone to come over. Just got to figure out who.” Trevor ran through his contact, holding my hand tightly.

“Hey. I need you to come over and watch Lily. This is the  _ only  _ fucking chance I’m giving you to redeem yourself. The  _ only _ fucking one.” Trevor hung, turning his head and stating with a grin,

“Problem solved!” 

 

“Now, make sure she doesn’t leave the trailer. I don’t want anything happening while I am so far away. And  _ don’t  _ fuck this up.” Trevor jabbed a long finger in Ron’s chest. Ron nervously nodded as Trevor walked back over to me.

“I’ll be right back, so please be patient. I know he’s supposed to be keeping you company, but in the end I’m sure it’s gonna be you practically babysitting him.” I laughed.

“I’ll make sure not to get into trouble.” He cupped my face, bringing me into a hard kiss. 

“It’s a promise then.” Grinning as he pulled away. My face was beet red as he walked out the trailer door. Ron stood silently at the counter, as I remained embarrassed at the table. We kept silent until I stood up to get something to eat. 

“I-I can make something i-if you want.” Ron stood next to the fridge, almost blocking me from it. I laughed,

“I can do it. I’m also fully aware that you can’t cook.” Ron leaned on the fridge.

“I-I’ve been practicing.” I crossed my arms across my chest. 

“Fine, but if you waste ingredients, you’re never making food for me again.” I walked back to the table, relaxing into the chair as I watched Ron struggled for the next hour and a half attempting to make something. At the end of it, he set a plate down in front of me; three pancakes sat neatly on top of each other, their ends slightly crisp but at least the middle looked perfect. 

“These actually look decent. I’m a little nervous to try them, but I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt.” Taking a small bite, Ron’s face waited in anticipation. I nodded, replying,

“This is pretty good. You did a good job.” Relief washed over Ron’s face as he smiled nervously. 

“Re-really?”

“Yep, it’s really good.” As I continued to eat, Ron nervously asked,

“H-how is everything?” I looked up at him, finishing the piece in my mouth before answering,

“Decent. I can move my leg pretty well now. My hearing has improved so that’s a plus. I’ve got some other problems to deal with, but everything is slowly improving. Just need time.” He nodded happily as I asked,

“How are you?” 

“Well, my best friend is now talking to me; giving me a chance to redeem myself. Which I’m excited to do, and you’re doing well, getting better so that’s always good. I think the only thing missing is how far we are apart now. How am I supposed to get Trevor coffee or help you out if I’m so far away? So I was thinking of telling… I was hoping you guys would be okay if I… moved my trailer too.” My face must have given something away as he continued, “I mean, at least I could still work on the business. I mean Trevor might also want me to hold down the fort in Sandy Shores, but I’m not sure what he wants to do. He hasn’t done too much work lately, been in the hospital and all that. B-but I want to be close to b-both of you if that’s okay.” He was shaking like a leaf.

“I can’t speak for Trevor, but I think that would be really nice.”  _ Then at least someone would be here _ . I felt somewhat selfish, agreeing to something so that I wouldn’t be alone.

“I-I-I also wa-wanted to ask…” He paused, “if i-it w-wa-was o-ok-okay…” He stopped talking, his knee bouncing erradictly. He shamefully looked away. “I-i-is it okay i-if I ha-hang out with you? I know Trevor is giving me a chance to redeem myself, that’s why I wanted to ask.” I laughed,

“I appreciate it, but you most definitely don’t have to ask. We can hang out any time you want.” He continued to have a nervous smile on his face as a loud clap of thunder forced me to place down the fork. I watched the room disappear, Ron dissolving as I found myself in the room Devin had me in. The room was dark as I heard my voice.

“Lily?” My breathing became shallow and quick as I looked around.

“Lily.” Devin Weston’s face appeared, I could feel hands all over my body as I heard my voice again.

“Lily!” I came back; Ron was holding my hands, down on his knees as if to level with me. He quickly grabbed a towel, pressing it to my forehead. Rain began to pelt the trailer as I immediately made my way to the bedroom, making myself comfortable under the blanket, grabbing a pillow as thunder clapped overhead. The room crumpled again, as I felt hands again. Devin’s Weston’s face appeared again.

“Lily.” His face began to melt as he spoke,

“Did you think that you could get away from me?” I tried to move away from him, only to feel heavy chains on my body. “Did you think your friends could save you?” A terrifying grin crossed his face. “You can never hide from me. I will always be a part of you.” I started to hyperventilate as the entire room commenced to melt, and the doctor appeared in the room.

“These exams might seem intrusive, but don’t worry. You won’t feel a thing.” The doctor exploded as I heard a voice pull me out of the room.

“Lily! Lily!” I was back in the trailer, back up against the wall, and frozen.

“Lily?” I looked towards the voice. Ron’s concerned face hovered close to my own. I embraced him, holding him tightly, attempting to calm my breathing. He hugged me tightly. I twitched as another clap of thunder rang through my ears. 

“I-it’s okay. I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere until you feel better. Okay? I’m right here. I… I’m not letting you go.” I clung to him, unable to even ease up my grip as I felt myself crumble and cry. My whole body shook uncontrollably as Ron tried to console me. Even as Trevor came in, yelling and asking what the fuck was going on, I couldn’t move. I heard Ron explain what was going and Trevor attempted to pull me away, but my muscles were tense, movement wasn’t an option. Ron’s uneven and nervous breathing started to fuck up my own as I coughed in an attempt to start over. Deep breaths slowly became impossible as I tried to force myself to relax. My eyelids felt heavy, my breathing slowed as darkness took me.

In my dreams, I was walking down a dark hallway. As my hands gently touched the walls, they rippled and ripped, revealing a red background. Hands sprouted out, pulling me in. 

My eyes shot open. Trevor was pressing a cold towel to my face. I could feel the bed beneath me, pillows uncomfortably under my head, and a part of the blanket that had bundled up, hurting my back. I carefully sat up as Trevor’s hand on my shoulder was pushing me down.

“Don’t get up yet. I don’t think you’re okay.” My eyes glanced around the room. Upon seeing safety I fell back, breathing deeply, tears slowly trickling down my face. Trevor looked towards the door, Ron slowly walking in as if cued.

“A-are you okay?” I shook my head, grabbing the towel Trevor was using, and covered my face. Trevor scooped me up, holding me securely in his arms. I clutched his shirt as he removed the towel, tossing it onto the bed. 

“Ron, give us some space.” Trevor’s voice was gentle. I heard the door close, Trevor gently put me down, laying down next to me. His hand caressed my face as I looked up at him. He still looked terrifying as he did the day I met him, but his features over all had softened. It was as if he was allowed his sensitivity and vulnerability to show even though he hated showing a weak side. Closing my eyes, I relaxed in the bed. Trevor began to run his fingers through my hair.

“Your hair is getting a bit long. Might have to get it cut soon.” I dragged a couple strands in front of me. It had been a little over a year and a half; my hair that had once been at my shoulders was now sitting near the middle of my back. It certainly did need a cut.

“Maybe.” I replied quietly. The both of us fell into a comfortable silence. Closing my eyes once more, I snuggled closer to Trevor. He removed his hands from my hair, holding me as I drifted off. _ Hopefully I won't have any more nightmares. _

 

In my dreams, I opened my eyes to see Trevor laying next to me. I carefully sat up, looking around the room. It was white, and as I climbed out of the bed, I saw a figure standing far into the distance. The figure itself, sent shivers down my spine. Unknown, unsure. I climbed back onto the bed, grabbing onto Trevor. 

 

I woke up, feeling something tickling my forehead. My body was rocking back and forth in place, my head had a large hand on it, keeping it close to Trevor’s chest. 

“Tr-Trevor?” 

“It’s okay. I’m here.” He was petting my head, pressing soft kisses on my forehead every so often.

“What’s going on?”

“You started having a panic attack or something. You were getting a little violent in your sleep so I thought I could comfort you.” 

“That’s very nice of you, but…”

“But what?” His tone became defensive.

“What happened to your clothes?” I could feel his bare skin, and the only thing between very personal spaces was his underwear.

“Oh, it got a little hot when we were cuddling. Also skin to skin contact is usually the best to comfort another person, but I didn’t feel it was appropriate to take off your clothes without your permission.”  _ Well at least there’s that. _ “If you’re uncomfortable, I can put something on in a jiffy. Just give me the word.” As nice as it was to have this contact, it was mildly disconcerting. 

“I-if you do-don’t mind…” I trailed off, feeling slightly embarrassed about the situation.

“I don’t, so no need to be nervous to ask me.” He kissed me on the forehead, rolling out of bed. I watched him dress, his back was covered in all kinds of scar. It was hard to distinguish when one began and when one ended. It was a mess. He returned to the bed, pulling me to him. 

“Why don’t you fall back asleep? I know you’re probably exhausted over what just happened. You should relax while I’m here…” I pulled his shirt closer to me.

“If I don’t let go, then you can’t leave.” He chuckled.

“I have ways of remedying that.” 

“It would be best if you didn’t try any of those ways.” I pouted. He laughed.

“Hey, don’t assume it’s going to be me. All Michael has to do is know that I’m going to be late and he’ll break down the door  _ and  _ get my ass out of bed. I may have said I have remedies but I didn’t say that I would be the one doing it.” I laughed.

“That’s true. Michael and I are kind of the same. We both hate people being late. Although I’ve heard that Michael likes to be late to people that he hates. I can’t bring myself to do that.”

“Shit, then he must hate me a ton, because he is always late to everything that we do. I’m sure he’ll be late to this thing and when he realizes that I’m going to be late, he’ll probably make us late together.” 

“Then I guess he’ll be SOL, because you and I are staying here.” He laughed again before pressing a kiss on my forehead. It was funny how safe I felt with him. In my worst nightmares, I couldn’t even defend myself, I couldn’t even get revenge or anything. Devin Weston in my mind was untouchable. But Trevor seemed to defy everything about that. He, Michael and Franklin saved me from that hell, and torturing Devin in ways that I couldn’t imagine. I wasn’t too sure what he did, but there was something on my mind.

“Hey.”

“Hmm?” 

“How did you know what Devin had said to me?” I asked. I looked up at him, his eyes looking at the wall.

“After…are you sure that you want to hear this? I mean… it’s really fucked up and I wouldn’t want you to feel any worse than you already do.” 

“How fucked up?”

“On a scale of 1 to 10, infinite.”  _ Whoa. _ Did I really want to hear this?

“Tell me.” My grip became tighter as he smoothed out my hair.

“When you were being taken, they put something in the vents to make everyone fall asleep. They took us with them. When we woke up, we were tied to chairs and Weston was talking to us. We… were forced to watch get that horrible exam… and it wasn’t until Weston was making a move on you that I… I just fucking lost it. I couldn’t help myself. I just went fucking off the walls; killing and breaking everying and everyone in sight. When I found Weston, I wanted to do so many things to him, but I… settled to do what he did to you. I-I-I know that sounds awful… but in my mind it was fucking justice. I wish I could have killed that fucker or-or-or spent more time doing things to him, but I was also worried about you. I-I-I’m not sure if that counts as cheating be-because I did it for you. But I’m pretty sure he’s going to come back after us, although... I’ve made sure that even if he does by some miracle take you again, he won’t be doing what he did last time.” Silence crept over us as I absorbed what he said. I could feel him getting nervous as he stopped petting me and started to grip my hair. 

“Okay… thanks for telling me.” I wasn’t sure what else to say. I already knew about the torture, but the fact that they were practically tortured in turn. I haven’t really even thanked them let alone asked them how they were doing. I’ve been pretty inconsiderate these last couple months.

“How… how are you doing?” I quietly asked. Trevor’s hand relaxed, moving to the middle of my back.

“Irritated and frustrated that I couldn’t do more. It’s been a couple months but you are still suffering because of that fucker so… I’m not doing great.” I nodded. I’d have to ask Michael and Franklin next. 

“If you want to talk, I’m here. I know that you’re worried about saying certain things on what happened but…I think it’ll help. But only if you’re comfortable.”

“What about you?”

“What do you mean?”

“How will you feel better?”

“Well, I found a good resource that allows me to do on-phone calls at any time. And they allow walk-ins so that’s good.”

“It’s not that fucker that Michael is seeing, is it?” I laughed.

“No, it’s not Dr. What’s-his-face. I advised Michael not to see that guy anymore.” 

“Good, good.” He took a deep breath before speaking again. “I talked to Ron. I… I know you aren’t angry with him and you see it in a different light but you’re right. It’s harder for me. I can’t fucking stand his face sometimes. I’m still mad that he feels something for you, I think that’s complete bullshit. He kept coming to see you even though we told him to fuck off.” Trevor fell silent. After some time, I picked up the conversation.

“Well, you have to remember that he had no one else, he has no support system. You had your friends, but Ron has no one.  _ You’re  _ his friend. I talked to him about it too. Told him, I would have greatly regretted it if he was the one who got hurt. I would be in his position; beating myself up for not protecting him better and for not trying harder. Would you think of him differently if he was the one in the hospital with the bullet wound? Would you care? I would have stayed by his side just as he stayed by mine. I don’t think I would have moved from that spot either. I would have waited until he got better, because he’s my friend and I care about him. It would be the same if you took a bullet for me. I would wait for you.” I sat up, placing my hand gently on his face. “You two are alike. You want to protect the people you care about, trust and love. You want to do what you can. You both want to be strong, confident and want to be relied on, but while you excel in some of those things, and Ron doesn’t, you both suffer from the same thing.”

“Which is?”

“You both lack communication skills, mostly with each other. He attempted to express something to you about me, and you had a difficult time processing that. You tried to tell him how you didn’t want him around, but it came out overly aggressive, something he’s very much used too. Neither of you could support each other in this situation because you were so focused on your differences and the problems that were going on between the two of you. Neither of you could put those aside even for the time I was in the hospital because you’re both wanting to stand out. I want you two to get along because how much you mean to Ron, and what I don’t think you understand yet is what Ron means to you. You should probably think more about your relationship in a different light than the one that it’s currently in.”

“What if I don’t want to? What if I feel like, if I give him a chance to come back into my life, he’ll steal you away? Or try to turn your focus from me to him? He wants to move here right? How do I not know that this is all a ploy to backstab me?”

“Do you not see Ron as loyal? Do you honestly think Ron would do that to you?”

“I mean he kissed you.”

“And you had sex with who knows how many people or who, which honestly I would argue is worst.” I moved my hand as he sat up with me. “That still happened and I haven’t brought it up because we were in a limbo of a relationship. It definitely seemed like it was over. I didn’t appreciate the kiss because it was unexpected and my feelings weren’t taken into account. You didn’t appreciate the kiss because you think that it automatically means that he has a chance with me? Maybe I should rephrase my questions. Do you not see me as loyal? Do you honestly think that I would do that to you? Do you not trust me?” Trevor fell silent, his eyes darting back and forth as if trying to find an answer written on the wall somewhere.

“It’s not as if I don’t trust you…”

“Then what is it? I know you have some major insecurities but do you honestly think that I’ve been looking at other men the whole time? I do have a lot of men in my life but there’s nothing there. Ron is my friend, someone who I care for and kind of trust. Michael is like a father to me and Franklin is kind of like my brother. They’re people who I would say is my San Andreas family while I’m so far away from my actual family. Weston can rot in hell and Steve is a fucking asshole. Dave is weird and Lester is quirky, but we haven’t talked that much. I’ve met Jimmy once. There’s no one in my life who holds more importance than you right now. Do you know how terrifying it is to watch you walk out of a room? My mind races, wondering if I’m actually safe or if it’s all a fluke. Ron does kind of make me feel better, but you’re the one who makes me feel completely safe. I don’t doubt that you can protect me. Ever.” 

“It’s not that I don’t trust, it’s just that, I don’t know who and who can not be swayed. I mean I just found out that Michael was a fucking fat snake and now he’s getting all cozy with me again as if nothing happened. How can I trust someone like that? Isn’t it a betrayal of trust for someone to immediately go after another person’s love interest even if their relationship is on the rocks? There are a lot of men in your life and the only one who really sticks out is Ron. He’s got to spend more time with you than I have. You’ve got to do all kinds of things together than no one else can even do. The pranks, the arguments, the jokes; those are all first steps that I would have loved to have as our stepping stones into our relationship. At least then, we would have something more light hearted than the actual dark reality that this relationship came from.”  _ Whoa, he’s actual aware. I thought he was just delusional.  _ “You and Ron, in my mind, could be in a relationship because of how you guys act, and people already think that you’re a couple.” 

“Wait what? Who thinks that we’re a couple?”

“When you guys were handcuffed to each other in the grocery store. All those people.”

“I don’t know how you know that, but we were, if I may point a key phrase here,  _ handcuffed to each other.  _ People thought we were holding hands, they had to think we were together so that we didn’t draw attention. And that facade held up because he wanted to argue all the fucking time about what groceries to get. He’s so god damn picky.”

“I mean, yeah, that’s going to make sense, but that’s not my point here. Facade or not, to me, that’s a clear message that you two are a good match for each other. It means that you two looked nature and good together.”

“I think you’re too focused on the impossible at this point. I’m pretty sure if you were handcuffed to me and we were walking around the store, it would be the same. That’s the whole point of faking it. Also it was mostly to irritate him at the time. Listen, I know that you don’t trust Ron, and I think the recent events most definitely don’t help; but I think this also draws on a general distrust that you have for me. Think about it Trev. It takes two to make a relationship. Even if Ron were to try and pursue me, do you think that I would immediately turn away from you? Do you think I would automatically leave you for someone else? How terrible of a person do you think I am? I would never do that to you or anyone. I told you in the hospital, that you’re the person that I love. I’ve had dozens of dreams about you, about us. I know my mind isn’t going to change anytime soon if not ever, about how I feel about you.” Trevor nodded, with a look of shame on his face.

“S-s-sorry. I’m just afraid of being alone again. It-it-it feels like everyone is trying to leave me behind. I’m not sure what I can do to keep our relationship together.” He tried to turn away, but I caught his face, turning him towards me.

“You can start by trusting me. Know that I’m not someone to just toss a relationship. I mean, yeah we’ve had our arguments, but know that I’m willing to give it a chance to work things out. Now when you quit, that’s when I’ll quit. But until then, know that it takes two to keep a relationship alive, and that I’m here to stay.” His eyes were glazed over, almost attempting to not cry. He moved in slowly, unsure as I met him halfway. He kissed me, running his fingers through my hair. I could tell Trevor was being careful. Everything was a question; his hands were cautious and slow, remaining on my abdominal region, never going higher or lower. When he moved from my lips, he had kissed me on the cheek, and jawline, but never went for my neck or ear. One hand snuck to the back, giving me goosebumps as fingers ran up my spine. There was no forcing my hand to go anywhere or teasing of any kind. He pulled away, bringing me into a tight hug. I understood he was waiting for some sort of cue to go further, but the anxiety that was growing in me was eating at me. He kissed my forehead.

“I know that you’re not ready. That’s okay. I’ll wait for you.” I could feel my face get hot. I did want to go a little further, but I didn’t want to tease him. He had already made it very clear that he didn’t like being teased. 

“I-i-it’s okay if you want to kiss more. I…  I don’t mind that.” Trevor cupped my face, bringing me into another kiss. My heart was pounding loudly in my chest.  _ It might as well as be on speaker phone because I’m pretty sure he can hear it.  _ I placed a hand on his chest, his heart was racing. When we pulled away to breathe, he whispered,

“Just tell me when to stop.” I nodded as he brought me into a fury of kisses. His hands rested on my hips, bringing me closer. I wasn’t exactly sure what happened after that. I remembered feeling dizzy as he asked me to move on top of him, carefully taking off each other’s clothes, and kissing his scars as he kissed mine. It wasn’t until penetration came into question that I asked to stop. He complied immediately, settling for rubbing my thighs. We were forced away from each other when Trevor’s phone rang. He groaned loudly, reaching towards his pants and pulling it out of a pocket.

“This ain’t the fuckin’ time… What do you mean? That’s bullshit Mikey. Listen, I’m busy and I’m not moving until I have someone here to help Lily. Not Ron. He’s busy doing business. Business, Mikey. Fuckin’ figure it out then.” He hung up, tossing the phone onto an end table.

“Now, where were we?” As we went back, I heard the phone ring again, but Trevor ignored it. His hands kept their safe and specific distance, but I could feel something building in me that was starting to make me fidget. I nervously reached down, taking his member into my hand. He groaned, squeezing my thighs.

“Don’t force yourself.” 

“I want to do something… for you.” I started to move my hand up and down his shaft, precum trickling out from the top. I attempted to keep a quick pace but I found myself getting slower and slower with my grip getting weaker. The angle was a bit awkward, still being on top of him and his height practically forcing my hand to be practically behind me. I scooted down, situating myself between his legs.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” Trevor sat up just as I wrapped my hand around him again. “Are you okay to do this? I don’t mind, but I don’t want you to feel forced or uncomfortable.” I looked down, I could feel him twitch in my hand. 

“I feel comfortable with this. It doesn’t feel like I’m being pressured to do this or anything…” My face was burning.

“Okay, but don’t forget you can stop at anytime. I don’t have or need to finish. I can go help myself in the bathroom or something.” His fingers were carefully moving through my hair, as I nodded, licking the head. His leg twitched as I put the tip into my mouth, rolling it around my tongue. I put more into my mouth, bobbing my head up and down. The swears I heard him say under his breath gave me goosebumps. Trevor forced my head up, letting go and pulling my body towards him. My head rested under his chin as he took in shakey breathes. One of his hands trailed up, stopping at my region, and carefully moving a finger to my entrance. It stopped short of it, teasing it as he whispered in my ear.

“Let me do something for you. You’re so wet.” He applied pressure, still not entering as his finger teased the entrance, moving up and down. He slowly and carefully inserted one finger. I began to fidget as he kept a painfully slow pace. 

“Fuck… you are so goddamn hot and tight.” 

“T-Trevor.” It almost felt like torture. “I-I need a little more.” I shifted upward, kissing him hard as he carefully put another finger in me. I moaned into him as he picked up the pace. The butterflies in my stomach grew as he started to jerk himself off. I rested my head on his shoulder, my hands gripping him tightly as his fingers grew rougher. 

“Fu-fuck. I remember first being inside you. I thought I was going to immediately explode. I couldn’t even focus on what I was doing cause it felt so good. My mind went fucking blank and I thought I was seeing stars. For a while, I just wanted to keep bending you over and fucking you on everything I owned. I had dreams of you hopping on my lap in the truck, or-or bending you over the tailgate and taking you nice and hard from behind. Even just having my fingers in you makes it hard to think. When we fucked in the shower, I thought I was going to go crazy. I-I know that you aren’t ready for that step yet, but…” He stopped all movement.

“I had this crazy fucking dream, where we fucked on Haines’ desk. You were wearing that adorable fucking dress, calling out my name in that sweet voice of yours… fuck.” He removed his fingers, carefully switched positions. Now on my back, he pushed my thighs together, knees up to my chest. He slipped his cock in between my thighs. “I-i-is this okay? I-It's okay to say no.” My head was spinning as I replied,

“I-It’s okay.” He started to thrust, every now and then, the wet tip touched my stomach. He started to pick up pace, moaning and groaning. Hisses and a constant flow of swears escaped his lips. The anxiety I had felt earlier seemed to disappear, only the need for him entirely clouded my mind. 

“Are you okay?” He grunted.

“T-Trevor. S-stop.” He came to a halt breathing heavily, his eyes shifting around before removing himself. He hovered over me, bringing himself closer as I spread my legs, wrapping them around him. His hot breath in my ear only seemed to make things worse. I shakily grabbed his cock, leading it to my entrance. He sat up quickly.

“Whoa, whoa. I don’t think that’s okay.” I let go.

“So-sorry… I just thought...” I trailed off as he kissed me on the forehead.

“I know your body might want me, but I don’t think your mind will be okay. Let’s just take our time.” I nodded, embarrassed. I could feel my face turn different shades of red as he kissed me. 

“But, I certainly don’t mind helping out.” He moved downward, keeping my legs spread as his tongue licked me. I twitched as he began to suck, nip and lick everything he could. It didn’t take me too long to cum after his fingers entered me again, going on harder and faster than before. 

“I can fucking feel you cumming.” I covered my mouth before he snatched my hand away.

“I want to hear that delicious moan.” My face grew hot as noises escaped. As my body relaxed from all of the tension, he removed his fingers from me and started to jerk off again.

“Fuck… just having your cum on my dick is making me cum faster.” He grunted, breathing heavily. He pumped himself until his body started to shake, moaning loudly, as his head tilted back, cumming on my stomach. He slammed his lips against mine, twitching against me. His tongue tangled with mine, drinking each other in as his phone rang again. He pulled away, frustrated,

“What. The fuck. Do you want?” He fell silent as a tiny voice spoke to him. In an irritated voice, he replied,

“Fine, fucking when? What? Oh, you motherfucker.” He hung up. “Mikey is going to be here in five minutes, so we better clean up.” He kissed me hard, before asking,

“Are you okay? I feel like I went a little far at the end there.” My face turned bright red.

“I-I’m okay, you didn’t do anything wrong.” I closed the distance between us, pressing a gentle kiss on his lips. Unable to tear ourselves apart from each other, we continued to ignore the constant calls until loud pounding stopped us. 

“Trevor! Open this fucking door!” Michael shouted. Trevor groaned as he got up and off the bed. I grabbed a tissue, quickly cleaning myself up and dressing as Trevor got dressed and walked out the room.

“The fuck you want?”

“What the fuck do you think I want? You know why I’m here.” I fixed my hair, quickly walking out of the bedroom to see Michael and Franklin.

“What’s up?” I asked. 

“Hey kid, I need Trevor for a bit. So I’ve brought Franklin to keep you company. Franklin knows how to look-out.” 

“As true as that may be, why the fuck are we doing this today?”

“Cause it needs to be fucking done.”

“Can ya’ll just quit that shit? Go do your thing and I’ll be here, chillin with Lil’.” Franklin interrupted them, waving them off so that they wouldn’t waste any more time here. Trevor walked over, placing a kiss on my forehead before saying,

“I’ll be right back after pork chop here gets his shit together.” 

“Ah, fuck you.” Michael walked out of the trailer, Trevor following swiftly behind, cussing him out. Franklin and I looked at each other before I spoke,

“Are you hungry?”

 

_ I wonder what they’re going to do? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is PTSD and torture detail; please do not read if you are not okay with this subject matter.


End file.
